The blonde Elaine's introduction calmed Jason down significantly, and his remark set her at ease. It seemed he wasn't as angry as he could be.
Assuming that they were safe, the group wandered away from the horrible, bloody scene of the previous battle and collapsed on the ground. They needed to introduce themselves, but they could barely bother to focus.
Elaine introduced herself first. As the potential bridge between the group, it felt right. Her shoulder-length blonde hair swayed in the wind as she stood up—embarrassed at being the center of attention.
"As you all know, I'm Elaine… I grew up on the east coast and don't know where I am. The last thing I remember was shopping online with my mother on September 2nd, 2032. I woke up in a freaky white space and thought I had been kidnapped…" Tears flowed from the young lady's eyes as she retold the tale Jason experienced, with slight deviations.
It turns out not everyone had an attitude toward the Gods.
A beautiful brunette with an athletic body and a lithe figure stood up next. The freckles on her face made her look childish, but there was a pain in her brown eyes that told of a more experienced life. "I'm Julie… I was on a subway… September 2nd…"
She seemed shy and reserved at first glance, not giving a hint beyond the basic information that Julie had provided. As soon as she finished speaking, she sat down and tucked her head between her knees.
"I'm Jack, the leader of what's left of this group. I don't know if you're fit to join us, but until we find out, you can tag along. I was walking home from work…" The muscular, tanned man with a crew cut immediately chimed in the moment Julie sat down.
'He seems like an asshole.' Jason thought.
Regardless of his personal feelings, he decided to give the group a chance. The two women were decent enough people, and the man did owe him a fish, after all. Jason stood up and gave a detailed description of the events at the casino until the group arrived to "save him."
No matter how they looked at it, none of them seemed to have anything in common. They didn't even come from the same parts of the country!
Jason felt his stomach growl as he realized now that he was safe. His body was begging for food!
His mind shuddered. This meant he may have to terrify his new potential allies, which wouldn't be a good thing.
He recalled the bread that he rescued from the evil store during his shopping excursion and, for a brief moment, felt a shiver down his spine, breaking his concentration. Concerned that the fatigue was getting to him, he stood up and stretched as he continued mulling his options.
His mind rested on his [Easier-Bake Oven].
The shiver returned as a chill travelled down his neck and toward his hip. If he had to guess, it was being called by his [Neon Green Fanny Pack]. Panicking, he tried to undo the clasp, thinking that something was going wrong with the item.
Perhaps the gods had sabotaged it.
While he was looking down, trying to get the buckle to unfasten, a bright pink manifested in his vision. The [Easier-Bake Oven] had appeared directly in front of it and was falling to the ground!
Not wanting to risk damage, Jason caught it and fell to the ground, cushioning the device.
"Where the hell did that come from?" Jack asked as he took a fighting position.
The exhausted but happy Jason took a deep breath and explained the functions of his [Easier-Bake Oven] in depth.
Like he thought, the group of three was absolutely mortified! The thought of disposing a corpse in that way made no sense. The women wanted nothing to do with it and immediately brought up the need for finding a freshwater source.
This left Jack as Jason's default partner in crime.
Julie ran after Elaine as they departed in a hurry, while Jack stared at their back, almost begging to be brought with them.
Jason ran to the nearest zombie corpse he could find and realized this was going to be a chore. They didn't have any knives, so they would have to do with rocks and brute force. Thankfully, the corpses of the zombies were already damaged to the point that they were falling apart.
Gripping a forefinger in his hand, with the rest of the zombie's hand in his other, Jason forced the bone to snap while he attempted to rip off the phalange. It wasn't going so well. The bone had snapped easily, but the rotten skin still resisted the separation.
So he dug in the dirt until he found a couple of stones. He ended up placing the finger in the middle of two rocks and smashing it with the sharpest one he could find, eventually severing the body part.
Holding it as far away from his body as possible, he brought it to the oven and placed it inside. In only a few seconds, a chime was heard, indicating baking was complete.
Opening the door allowed the aroma of freshly baked cookies to waft into the wilderness.
A single cookie sat on the tray.
"So, it works… but we can't continue doing this." Jack commented, seeing Jason coated in dark red coagulated blood.
Jason picked up his bat and returned to the zombie. They needed larger portions.
Hacking away at the shoulders of the zombie, he was able to free an arm. In what could only be explained as magic, the arm started to melt as soon as they attempted to feed it into the oven. Mystifying the duo, the oven kept accepting the arm until it had eaten it all the way to the shoulder.
"Well, that's weird…" Jason remarked, shocked by the fact that such a small oven could have such a large appetite.
Closing the door, the same amount of time passed before they heard the familiar chime ping again. This time, the cookie inside had chocolate chips!
"...What if we try a whole corpse?" Jason's eyes lit up at the thought of not having to dismantle the corpses further.
They attempted to drag a giant corpse toward the oven before it finally clicked in their head, and they brought the small toy to the corpse. It turned out that if you wanted an [Easier-Bake Oven] to devour a corpse, you just needed to be patient.
This cookie even had more chocolate chips than the last one!
Jack looked at Jason for a moment before he finally broke the silence, "So, I know we were supposed to dig graves…"
Being the lazy group of guys they were, they decided to see if they could feed human corpses to the oven. It seemed that nothing would satisfy the ovens hunger, and they wanted to ensure they pleased their new savior.
Starting at the head, the gunmen slowly melted, one at a time, as the toy oven devoured their existence.
In return, they received two oatmeal raisin cookies.
"That wasn't worth it. I'd rather die than eat those," Jason shouted as he shoved the oatmeal cookies in his fanny pack and continued with the remaining zombie corpses.
…
The sun was setting as the women had made their way back into camp. In their arms, they carried large bottles of water as sweat poured down their face.
"So, where did you find the packaged water?!" Jason asked as he noticed the girls and ran over to give them a hand.
"You won't believe us." Julie quipped and shut up quickly as she felt Elaine punch her shoulder with her now free hand.
"...We found a stream made of water bottles." Elaine explained the strange phenomenon to the men, who simply laughed.
"Bullshit," Jack stepped forward with his chest puffed out, "You don't get to keep this from me. What did you find?"
The girls went into detail about their walk and how they hadn't seen anything living for the entire journey but eventually heard an intense crackling noise echoing through a valley. Confused, they slowly made their way toward the noise and saw millions of bottles rolling down a riverbed in place of the water.
To their surprise, the bottles were full of water and seemed dry, with no trace of water seen in the exterior area. Neither one of them knew how the river had operated or what force kept these bountiful treasures rolling, but they didn't care.
They just wanted to catch one.
"No!" Jason interrupted their story as they were wrapping it up with a sudden outburst, "If there are no streams, what about fish?!"
The three other party members just looked away from him toward the ground and let him mourn the realization in silence. He would have to wait some time to get a new bass.
Accepting their ridiculous story with a grain of salt, the boys shared the good news regarding the cookies as they handed the girls one each. A single chocolate chip cookie was enough to fill them to the point they didn't think they would have to eat for an entire day!
Nobody talked about the graves of the two fallen gunmen as they sat on the ground and got to know each other better.