Jason's surroundings changed instantaneously before he could enjoy his weightlessness any longer. He plopped on the floor of what looked like a normal department store. Analyzing it further, he swore he had been here before!
[You're likely confused.] The voice struck his mind, reminding him he wasn't alone.
[This environment is based on your world.]
'My world, my ass, where are free samples?' he thought.
[You should feel at home here.]
Tens of thousands of items displayed themselves in front of Jason. This wasn't like visiting a godly shop in some video game! They expected him to browse each item himself!
Thirty minutes suddenly felt like a short period of time as he recalled shopping with his mother. She would have spent a month in the store if she was allowed.
He jumped in place twice, a habit he wasn't aware he had, as he decided to sprint to the nearest department. Clothing would be an immediate need, and hopefully, he could find something that would protect him.
He reached out as he slowed down, nearly knocking a table display of clothing over, and grabbed a T-Shirt. He wasn't sure what "identified" referred to, so he began inspecting every aspect. Then a thought struck him as he slapped his forehead.
The descriptions were printed on the hanging tags!
[Teal T-Shirt 123654-1221]
[Improves appreciation for tacos]
[Reduces mana control 47%]
[Double effect of cold damage received]
Confused, he reached out and grabbed another shirt,
[Teal T-Shirt 123654-1222]
[Improves appreciation for Tacos]
[Reduces mana control by 42%]
[Twice as flammable as an ordinary shirt]
"What the shit is this?!" Jason yelled out toward the sky.
It made sense that not all items would have positive benefits, but how could the same style item have different effects?
The chore of gathering basic survival supplies had become much more difficult!
Not panicking, an excited smile grew on his face. This was a Hell of a gamble! Rather than seeking specific items, he chose to gather anything with positive traits.
The young man distanced himself from the rack of clothing as he stared at all the options available. It could take all day to find something he could wear that also provided a positive effect.
He laughed as he ran his arms over the display tables, knocking the clothing onto the ground and making a mess. Never had he thought he'd have an entire store to himself!
Passing a row of backpacks, he thought it would probably be a good idea to see if he could snag a storage item. A single-aisle shouldn't be difficult to filter through if he went hard. He ripped the nearest backpack from the rack, setting off an alarm as he destroyed a security tag.
"Who is shoplifting?! It's free! What is this nonsense?" He roared over the chirping of the tweeting alarm.
[Devours Flesh]
"Nope"
[Randomly becomes a cat]
"Hell no!"
[Switches location with nearby backpacks at random.]
"Sweet! I could keep it empty and use it to steal from people!" he finally thanked the voice for an item worthwhile.
Until he read the next line, that was…
[Turns you into an insect.]
"SCREW YOU WHITEY!" He threw the backpack at the rack and raised his fist in the air.
Dropping to his knees, he noticed a bright, shining light circling an item directly in front of him.
[Neon Green Fanny Pack]
[10ft*10ft storage space]
[Cannot be dyed]
[Can only be accessed when worn]
"It's perfect!" He snagged the fanny pack and put it on, exhilarated.
Who knows what 10ft*10ft meant in terms of three-dimensional items, but he didn't care about that.
[Oops]
"God can oops?" he asked the surrounding emptiness, expecting absolutely no response to his existence.
[I forgot to inform you that items will remain inactive until you leave the shop.]
Shrugging his shoulders, Jason accepted his fate.
He looked back at the destroyed clothing section and gave up on finding anything useful in the thousands of items strewn across the floor.
'I've always wanted a gun…' He remembered that this type of store generally carried weaponry for sport use. That would be his next stop!
He ran as fast as he could to the sporting goods department, where he starred in awe at the beautiful display of AR-15s leaning against each other, forming a cone in a center display. He hoped that he would be able to find a gem amongst this pile.
He picked up the first rifle as the other remained in their intriguing formation. Flipping the tag over, he read,
[AR-15 Semi-Automatic/3 Round Burst Assault Rifle]
[Unlimited Ammo]
[Indestructable]
[Shots enhance enemies]
'Who the Hell makes a rifle that makes their enemy stronger?!' He tossed the rifle into the aisle and grabbed the next one. Optimistic that it would be similar to the clothing and every item would have slightly unique characteristics.
It wasn't.
All twenty rifles in the center of the table had matching descriptions and were now laid in the middle of the aisle due to a fit of rage.
Jason had used nearly half of his time, and all he had found was a fanny pack!
Not giving up, he knew his solution for a weapon existed in this department. He rummaged through multiple items hoping to find the tennis racket version of Excalibur, but it was all for naught. He had to settle with a baseball bat.
[Whacking Bat]
[Used to Whack things]
[Increased damage when upset]
The description wasn't exactly informative, but he didn't care. If the trials were anything like this shop, he'd be upset often.
Storage… Check!
Weapon… Check!
He had the basic items to survive—some—sort of situation. He had no idea what he would encounter but decided that there was an obvious priority that he would need…
He slid past an aisle, gripping the corner to stabilize himself and pull his body back to where it belonged. Canned foods would be his savior. The first item he picked up was a can of "Whoop-ass" that simply read, "I dare you to open me."
Well, that wouldn't work.
Thankfully, he spotted some fresh bread that didn't have any labels on it. No labels meant no stats, so he grabbed as many as he could carry, dropping them as he ran.
There was a tingly sensation in his spleen that made him think he didn't have much time remaining, and he wanted to check out the books! That spectacular aisle lay just opposite the deli, so he trekked onward.
Just before he left the deli, a freezer manifested in the air in front of him. A sign ride
[Small Mouth Bass]
[Upon Striking - Destroy Thing Destroy This]
It seemed like someone had scrawled the attributes on a whiteboard in a hurry, but he wouldn't let it bother him. He grabbed the fish and slid it down his sleeve, having nowhere else to hold it.
That's all it took for Jason to acquire a floppy fish that dwelled within his jacket. Perhaps one day, he would find the creator of this god-forsaken store and give him a little fish slap.
Standing outside the deli, he looked at the shiny and beautiful Novel section. It wasn't obscenely large, only a single 16ft set of shelves, but knowledge was king!
However!
Just next to this wonderful vision was an endcap of pink "Easier Bake" ovens.
One last sigh escaped his lips as he ran toward the toy aisle. His shopping trip wouldn't be complete without a gift for his precious niece.
"Oh fuck off," He muttered as he read the label on the kid's toy.
[Easier-Bake Oven]
[Bake body part, receive cookie]
He didn't have a chance to be picky. Knowing that it could potentially save his life, he picked up an oven and kicked it toward the bookshelves. Hopefully, he didn't have to bake his own body parts.
Jason made a small pile of items where the toy finally stopped and got to grabbing books. He didn't know what would happen when his duration was up, but he didn't want to risk not holding his items.
'Seriously, why didn't I start here?' He turned and looked at the books as a few titles stuck out to him.
The young man picked up a book on Basic Magic Theory and tossed it into his collection with no delay. He added a Basic Enchantments and even a Mana Familiarization tome! It was a gold mine!
Had he started in this area, he could have simply hogged all the books and become the world's greatest mage!
He reached his hands out toward Advanced Magic Theory. As his fingers glided over the tight leather binding, he heard a familiar voice resound through the air.
[Two seconds remain!]
Not having a chance to think about his choice, Jason dove toward his pile of items—refusing to abandon them. The Advanced Magic Theory book had tumbled toward the ground in this maneuver.
Struggling to expand his body like a fat kid reaching for the remote, he felt the smooth binding again as he knocked the book out of reach, and his vision began to fade.