"Elyan, are you sure you're fine with all of this?" I could see the stars fall from the sky… The darkness across her face was illuminated by the balls in the sky. "You can't just forgive me after all my father did to you!" I could definitely see tears in her eyes... Even from this far away.
"Why are you talking like that? How long have we known each other for now?" Right in front of her, I saw myself from a couple of months ago. That day was the last time I shaved.
The situation was- My past body was in front of me, talking casually with Luno. Like nothing had happened. While the current me looked over both of them.
'Am I dead? Is this what happens once you die? Do you relive your memories?'
Perhaps. But I wasn't fond of this memory at all. I would much rather relive that meal with Mom and Sis I had some time ago.
It was disorientating how much memory could change if you change the context. Elyan from all those months ago was the happiest man alive.
Now just watching this scene play out in front of me made me nauseous. The naive look on hi- my face did make me crack up on the inside.
"We've known each other for 17 years but-"
"Did I ever let any part of you bother me?" I said almost self-righteously. But that was only how it looked in the third person. At the moment, my acceptance was justified, or rather necessary.
Luno had a self-deprecating personality back then. Mostly because that was the time in her life when everything went wrong. From her father burning the church down, to her mother taking the blame for it. She got ostracised by society, even though she was the one who got hurt the most.
"No. But your family must hate-" Luno was just looking for someone to tell her that she was alright. That she did nothing wrong.
"Have they ever blamed you? To Mom, you were as big a victim of that incident as my father."
"I-I really want this but everything just seems surreal. I would be fine with just your forgiveness, just seeing you happy, but for you to go this far- The pain that I had gone through would all be worth it." A broad smile climbed across her face as if she anticipated what would happen next.
"If that's how you feel, will you take this ring?" I took 'it' out and presented it. 'It' was a ring I bought with my own money. Working day and night, on the huge field. All alone. To me, the ring shone iridescently. It was the culmination of my love.
There was a pause. In which Luno's face showed at least a series of 5 emotions.
And then-
"I-I will!" Luno jumped on me. Her face was buried on my shoulder. I got off my knee and spun her around. I kissed her yet went no further because of her duties as the Saintess. The day after that would have been the one when she left to train. But just having her embrace me was enough for me back then.
At this very moment, looking over this exact scene, I wanted to be more than just a spectator. I wanted a body so that I could smack some sense into the idiot me who was happy beyond belief.
No, I still wanted to do something. I wanted to pull her off him. To tear their bond apart. Stop the anticipation and loneliness I would feel for months to come.
I couldn't trust her. What was to say that even at the very moment I proposed to her, I wasn't being made a fool off? Who was to say that when I got on my knee back then, she wasn't toying with me? That I wasn't just one of the men?
The trust from my childhood was just a fallacy.
It was pathetic. I was pathetic.
I tried to move, and to my surprise, I was able to. So I ran! I ran right at them, as they swung around on the top of the hill.
The resolution to my idiocy wasn't all that far away. I could almost grab them and then suddenly-
BOOM!
The sky cracked open and lightning fell right on me. I didn't have time to anticipate any sensation, but I felt warm and endearing. The ground around me got incinerated and the memory burnt out.
'Guess this was where it ended. This was where my life came to its unsatisfying closure.'
The man my fiancee cheated on me with killed me with a smile on his face. What a pitiful way to go.
BOOM!
And then there was another strike, that originated from my face and rose higher and higher into the sky.
"GAH!" My eyes literally shot out lightning as everything quickly turned to white. And the next second I felt like I was somewhere else entirely. Physically.
The light started to leave my eyes as I could see again. But then the new location was even blander than absolute white. Just white light as far as the eyes could see. I could hear the sound of air flowing through the room and the scent of the first rain. But it was empty. The only thing keeping this place realistic was a shadow. My shadow.
This surely looked like heaven. It was empty, but it definitely gave off the same feeling as what I thought heaven would.
Well, I expected there to be something more to do if anything.
But I was just being greedy at that point.
Nothing surprised me anymore.
[The Sovereign has acknowledged your plight and taken interest in your soul. Please prostrate yourself in their presence.] A voice rang in my head and thick black text appeared in front of my eyes.
Just to confirm I read it again. And it read the same.
Prostrate? I didn't even realise that I was standing. Hell, I didn't even know my eyes were open. This was all bizarre.
[I repeat, prostrate. Time up. Mortal failed prostration.]
All of a sudden, as if being weighed down by the weight of the world, my body fell to the ground. Pure white ground. My knees crashed and my back felt like it was breaking. And through all of that, I heard the sound of clothes rustling.
'What is it now?'
A white hand ran down my face that was hitting the ground. It reached for my chin and pulled it up.
In front of my eyes, there was a being who was as white as the stars. It had eyes that glittered like the finest jewels and a face so feminine yet the presence felt as if I was being held captive by a man. This too was familiar. But I knew that if I saw a face like this being's I would surely remember it. But I didn't.
I got thrown off by this otherworldly beauty.
I could scratch my head and desperately look for answers but I was sure that I wouldn't find any.
"Tch. This child can't even remember the Sovereign of the Animates. But then again, it might've been my fault." The being's fingertip hit my forehead and then a flow of memories flowed into my head.
"You are the-!"