Chapter 3 - Shitty Life

Tuesday.

It was safe to say that he was hating that day.

He was 16 when he decided he wanted this job. He knew what the stakes were and he knew the sacrifices that he had to make. And back then he was willing to make all of them.

He had been a trainee in YG entertainment for years and yet it seemed like whenever he would be selected to debut with a new boy band, someone would come along and take his place. Someone new, someone better, someone who was more capable of keeping up with the tough schedules and vocal training. Rin was always willing to give it all and somehow he had always faltered and failed to meet their expectations.

And then his blessing came.

In the name of Kang Seojun.

Kang Seojun was another fellow trainee, who had left YG way before he did. He'd joined KaS entertainment and was currently training to debut as an idol in the newly formed band "Schatten '' as a rapper. He was the one who had advised Rin to join KaS entertainment because his efforts would actually be rewarded there.

And that was what had happened.

Within a training period of one year, Rin was also set to debut with a new boy band called "Ivy" under the stage name "Katsuki'' as a singer. And they had risen to fame pretty quickly, thanks to BTS who were now making their place into this world.

But now, as Ivy was continuously sending top chart songs, their schedule was now becoming tighter and busier. And on top of that he was trying to do well with his college studies. He was pushing his health and he knew it was beginning to have a toll on him. It was becoming more difficult to manage with his deteriorating health.

Rin was now lying down on the floor of the dance studio as he tried to catch his breath after their dance practise. It had been their last and the boys were now preparing to go home but Rin decided to catch his breath before he could go back to his apartment.

"Katsu," he heard someone sit beside him, "are you alright?"

"Yeah," Rin replied panting as he turned to see who it was. "it will be fine, I just need to-" he couldn't finish his sentence as he tried to catch his breath. You can go home Hanseok."

Lee Hanseok stayed silent as he studied his band member. Nothing could escape his cat like green eyes.

"I think you should tell Seojun-hyung, maybe he can speak to Joon-nim." Hanseok advised him.

"I'm fine," Rin waved him off, "I can do this, I just need to push myself harder."

"You push yourself harder than any of us." Hanseok argued. He wasn't in the mood to accept Rin's crappy explanations. "You know you're the best among all of us, and you work harder than anyone else. Take some rest and look after your health. There is no shame in asking for leave to take care of yourself."

"I am taking care of myself Hanseok," Rin argued.

"Kim Katsu Rin," Rin shuddered as he heard his full name being taken. If Hanseok was taking his full name, it meant that Rin was definitely in trouble.

"I am not listening to any bullshit that you're giving me," Rin couldn't help but shudder again because Hanseok was not one to curse. Even if he was angry, he wouldn't curse.

"Fine," Rin groaned before Hanseok went into a long speech about taking care of himself, "I will speak to Joon-nim myself."

Hanseok smiled, flashing his dimples on either cheek, happy on Rin's suggestion.

"I knew you would listen to me, come on let's get some tteokbokki."

***

Kiera couldn't help but stare at herself in the mirror as she looked at herself in the mirror.

She hated it. She hated the way she looked when she saw her reflection. She hated the way her hair fell down on her shoulders in curls. She hated her curvy figure and she hated the freckles on her face. She even hated the blue eyes that used to be the source of admiration from many people.

She hated her entire existence.

She looked at herself in the mirror as she took in her image. She just wore a baggy T-shirt and sweatpants. She could see another girl beside her, a more confident personality, who was wearing a red flannel shirt and a black skirt. She looked prettier and carried an aura of authority and she didn't even have the bags under her eyes.

It was a shadow of who she used to be.

But it was that fateful night that changed everything.

It was that one night that perhaps broke the complete confidence in herself and Kiera was now filled with complete hatred for herself. She couldn't look at herself anymore, she was beginning to hate herself and she couldn't keep up with the pitiful stares of her classmates. Outside the world of WN, Kiera was a pretty broken down person.

Sighing deeply, Kiera finally decided to leave her dorm room and go to her first class.

After the incident, Kiera had managed to convince the professors to shift all her classes to the afternoon session, because most of the mornings would be spent on breaking down in front of the mirror and crying her guts out.

She'd been advised to get therapy sessions but they were pretty much useless.

Kiera clutched her backpack tighter as she walked in the hallway, trying to block out the stares of the students. She tried to blend in, but somehow someone would always point a finger at her and then whisper to their friends. "That's the one." and "She's the one she hates," were the most common of them all.

'Please don't let them find me,' Kiera silently prayed as she tried to walk to her first class.

And it was as if fate had hated her when someone bumped into Kiera, making all her books fall down on the ground.

Kiera hadn't bothered looking up as she tried to collect her books. The last thing she wanted today was drama. She had finally gathered up the courage to attend her morning class and all she wanted to was to attend her class in peace.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the whore." Kiera finally looked up to come face to face with Stacey Brensen.

Stacey Brensen was called the queen of Boston University. With long blonde hair and caramel eyes, she looked like a typical barbie doll with her fake boobs and eyelashes. And the dress that she wore could have not even classified as a dress- it exposed a large part of her cleavage and it did little to cover up her butt.

Kiera bit back the retort in her mind. There were so many things that she wanted to tell Stacey that she couldn't. She tried to make her way around the group of girls but was stopped by Stacey again.

"Hold on Mitsue, I am not done with you yet." Stacey spit out bitterly, "You really are a whore, you were already sleeping around with my boyfriend, but you were trying to get Liam as well?"

Kiera stiffened at the name of Liam. Liam was just her cousin and she decided to help him out since he was a freshman and Stacey knew that.

"Stac-"

"Oh do shut up, everyone knows you want every single boy here to fuck your guts out. And that's what you did that night to Carter."

'No,' Kiera thought, 'It wasn't me, it was him. He did this to me.'

'Stace listen to me-'

Kiera was cut off by a sharp sting on her left cheek. Stacey was glaring at her with something even worse than pure hatred.

"You lost the rights to call me Stace, Mitsue, you lost it that night."