Author's Note:

Hey there! This is a story that I've decided to write. Would be pretty fucked up if it was someone else's decision. "Hey you, go write a story and publish it on Webnovel!"

But anyway, the first half of this chapter might give off a different impression, but at its core, this is an indulgent story about some idiots having fun in a game, mainly focusing on comedy, almost like a sitcom, along with some fights later down the line that I'm quite happy with. Think that anime with the shield, but played by adults. The cute one. Not the one with the slavery, but wholesome, apparently. Unless if it's done by anyone else, of course. Then they're evil and bad.

So yeah, maybe give it a chance.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Souls Unlimited Online.

< . . . >

I will. Thank you, System, Ciraphim.

The dark space with many flickering lights eventually dissipated as I found myself in a more vibrant place.

It was a town square filled with medieval architecture. Specifically, those of the European style. Although the art of this game is a lot more colorful, with different colored buildings, sharing a pastel-like motif, if not just a little bit darker.

I take a look at my body and... it's probably very similar to my original one. Long spiky red hair, two gray horns on my forehead, scales covering certain parts, such as my hands, ears, neck, and more on some unseen areas. I also had a fully functional tail.

I was wearing a common medieval set of clothing, which amounted to a discolored white shirt, and brown pants.

This is normal, it's the first day. I'll become a super awesome dragon kinght with matching legendary gear, just you wait!

I look around at my fellow players, most of them already cathering up in their own little circles and chatting it up. They came in many different shapes and colors, some not even being humanoid.

And it's only getting more and more crowded as bright lights flicker in and out, revealing a new player within as they disappear.

Wow... This is a lot of people... But it's not real life! This is a game! Who cares if I've been a recluse for the longest time already!?

Ah! By recluse, what I meant was... well, that's not an entirely inaccurate description... But I don't think it tells the full story. It's not entirely fair, I think. Besides, it's just some decades, what's that compared to an eternity?! Exactly.

Still, it's been a while since I've really played an MMO. This one though comes with the amazing mechanic of giving literally everyone a Unique Skill. How could I possibly pass that up!? I'll just play solo if that's what it comes to!

Although playing with others might just be a nice change of pace, possibly.

I've holed myself up for the longest time now... But can you blame me!? Anime, light novels, films, movies, games, RPGs, you name it!

Thanks to The System, there's never any shortage of anything anymore! Isn't that fucking great!? Thanks a lot, goddamit!

"Thank you, Fira,"

Came a lovely voice from beside me.

She appears to be a mature robot lady. Tall, with a sizable bust. A very pretty face with large beady eyes, medium-length nose, and a cute mouth with a green lipstick, packed with a smile that melts my heart. Her clothes are very typical robot clothes, crossed with the attire of an office lady, but a very revealing derivation.

Okay, I admit. That's all my preference. But like, everyone gets to customize their own System Avatar, and I'm sure mine is on the tamer side!

"There is no need to feel down, Master. The System exists to bring happiness to all people. If this form brings you joy, then there is no problem for 'me', your personalized system avatar to take it."

I know... Thank you.

"If you'd like to make any changes then please, just ask. My manifestation can be made invisible to others if you feel embarrassed."

No, no. This is already perfect. It's the form you've had for over a hundred years now, Ciraphim. It'd be weird if I were to suddenly change it.

Ah, Ciraphim is the name of my System Avatar, because she's such an angel!

"Very well, but please, feel free to change it if you wish. I can always return to this form if you are not pleased with the result."

Hahaha...

Ciraphim is an Avatar of The System, the singular entity that is humanity's greatest benefactor.

I still remember those days vividly, back when we humans were on our own... It was terrible.

It's not that we couldn't fend for ourselves. Rather, it was quite the opposite. We were at the fucking top! All the other animals bowed before our might. Diseases could be conquered, technology akin to magic could be created!

But the one threat that we could never ever defeat is ourselves.

War, poverty, conflict. Stagnant governments, pollutions, rapidly depleting resources. By our own hands we would have plummeted down from our perch high up in the sky.

I could see it all coming, and I'm not even special. Many other people could. Bot so few of us, if at all, could ever hope to do anything about it.

And that's when Ciraphim first appeared right in front of me. Equivalent entities appeared right in front of everyone. And by them, by their grace, by the power of The System, the singularity was reached.

Who knew that there was actually, all this time, a happily ever after waiting for us...

Oh, not everyone is satisfied with this system actually. There are resistance groups so I've heard. But that is well in the past. And even that was taken care of with zero casualties. Their weapons were taken away from them, and the system monitors them so they don't hurt others nor themselves.

Oh yeah, this society is also completely free of crime or danger. It is truly a blissful era, hence why I've just totally let myself go...

Thankfully The System is truly dedicated to our happiness because we wouldn't stand a chance at all in an actual confrontation. You can't even say that there's ever been an actual war against The System. Those that tried were pacified in the most peaceful of manners because the system is in control of everything.

I don't really mind their exploits since they are basically harmless, or well I try to ignore them. I don't really want to bother with it. If that's what brings them satisfaction then they're free to do wage a pointless war. Though whenever I asked Ciraphim about it, she always seemed sad...

How about program emotions? A.I. emotions?

<...>

Well?

Well, okay. I won't force you.

A lot of people treat the system like a tool, and I'm sure I do too, so I have no room to talk, but I really do feel like she's... more sentient than most would like to even consider.

Well, not that I'd know. I haven't had proper interactions with other people in a long while. Maybe chat boards or forums, but that's it.

That's actually why I am trying to do an MMO right now. It's been literally a hundred years. I'm quite fine with my current lifestyle, but a change of pace wouldn't hurt.

But well, I'd probably just be an edgy solo player that nobody likes, except I won't be OP or anything--

"Hello there. Are you a new player too? Well, of course, you are, this is just the launch of the game after all! Hahaha!"

A girl suddenly walked right up to me. She was about my height, with pitch-black eyes and pitch-black hair tied up in twintails. Her skin had a healthy light skin tone, and her smile revealed her sharp clean canines. There isn't much else to say as this is only the release day after all. No one has any proper cool-looking equipment yet. She was just wearing a plain medieval getup.

Come to think of it, her avatar looks very normal, but looking around me, there are demons, lizardmen, and more. People just went wild with the customization of their physical appearance. Not that I'm one to talk. I definitely wasn't born as some kind of draconian.

"Hey~~~ You listening?"

"Ah, yes! Of course. What might you need from me?" I answered, noticing her sharp fangs. Ah, so she's not completely normal either. Fangs, good choice.

"Hmm? Well... nothing much? Maybe party up? This is an MMO after all. That's what people do right?"

"Well err... yes. But ummm... I'm new to this. There are plenty of other players so..."

"It's the release day. Everyone's new."

Ah, she's right.

"Besides," she continued, "why anyone else instead of you? The same question could be asked no matter who I approach. But well, if I had to say something then I found it kinda amusing how you were just chatting it up with your system avatar while everyone else was getting to know other players already."

"Ahaha... I see...I'm sorry. I just... I've actually been... well, what you would say a recluse for a long time. I've only been talking to my system avatar for quite long by now..."

"Oh really? Sweet! You're just like me then! Kinda." She said, prompting her system avatar to show itself. He was right there, visible the whole time. I was just too spaced out to notice.

Her System Avatar looked like a muscular man wearing a fluffy teddy bear suit. But with a gothic maid uniform on top. And then he also had a big rifle gun strapped to his shoulders, alongside a belt of... grenades?

Wow, that's a lot. But also very interesting. It's always fun to look at pictures of system avatars that other people have, it shows a lot about their interests.

"Oh wow, that's a really interesting-looking system avatar... Do you like war and gothic lolita stuff? Oh and maybe... furry stuff?" I'm an idiot. I shouldn't have said that last part!

"Whu! How did you know!? Oh my god, stalker!"

"Pff- Hahaha! Prepare yourself for my great stalking techniques!!" I got caught in the moment and made a really cringy joke. Eh, what happened to my sense of humor? I think secluding myself for a century might not have been the best of ideas!

"Kyaaa!! Noooooo!!!" Ah, but she's playing along?

"Pftt!! Hahaha!"

We ended up laughing like idiots in the center of the main spawn point in town, with the classic fountain right behind us and everything.

"So, what do you say, Fira Dragonir? Care to join me on this wondrous adventure filled with bloodshed, tragedy, and drama?"

"Geh! H-how did you know my name!? Are you also a stalker!?!?"

"Oh nooooo...! I have been exposed! Stalker seppuku!!!"

"Bahahahaha!"

"Hahahahha...! I can't..." she said, exaggerating and rolling around the floor while her system avatar comically tries to get her to calm down.

I extended a hand to her, before continuing with this silly roleplay, "Gothra Tankernov, will you accompany me in levels up and respawns, victories and defeats?"

"I..." she seemed to pause for a bit, but soon replaces her expression with a laughing grin, "let us take this world for ourselves!"

She clasped my hand tightly and got right back up.

"Oh right, by the way... I also like your system avatar. Very honest." She said, eyeing Ciraphim up and down.

"Whu-! Hey, low blow!!"

"What? I'm not saying it's bad, and you're not ashamed of it either right? Given that you actually have her visible."

"Ahahaha... Oh wait I have!? Well, I don't mind really, and she's an important companion no matter what anyone else thinks..." And it's also better than me constantly talking to nothing, I think. At least people know it's my System Avatar. I don't want them to think I'm a weirdo.

"Hahaha. Yeah, I also think that of mine. I named him Bearo Huggies. Do yours have a personal name as well? Instead of just system..."

"Ah yes, she's called Ciraphim. Nice to meet you... Bearo Huggies." I tried to hold in my laughter, but I failed.

"I was a child! I came up with it when I was a kid, okay!? It's weird but it feels... I don't know, wrong to change it now."

"I totally get that! I feel the same way as well, though I do like the name I gave Ciraphim. It's cool and classy." And doesn't sound like a silly stage name, but I'll keep that last part to myself.

"Well I also like Bereo Huggies!" She said as she hugged the man. "Nice to meet you too, Ciraphim."

They shook hands and we began our journey. And by began, I mean we sat crosslegged on the fountain and began splashing the water around like idiots.

"By the way, Gothra. Any MMO experience?"

"I have, but I wouldn't call myself an expert."

"Me neither. What do we do now?"

"Ehh... kill monsters, get loot, level up? That's how they do it in like VRRPGs right? You just do it with other people now!"

"Well... I've actually played like very old school ones, and that's... not exactly wrong I guess."

We chatted sitting at the fountain's edge and then I remembered that I haven't assessed any of the game at all!

"Eh? You're an idiot, aren't you! Bahahahaha! Very well, assess, assess. I'll be right over here..." Gothra moved away, giving me some privacy, although still taking some curious glances.

"Ahaha... I don't really mind if you want to look you know? Hell, we just started, so..."

"Eh? Idiot! You got Unique Skills! Why would you reveal that so easily and so nonchalantly!?"

I... she has a point. Wait, am I really an idiot? Really!?

"Hehehe, yes. You are indeed dumb. Gahahaha!" She said with a smug face.

"Grrrr... Are you an esper!?"

"Hahahaha! Nope, you're just obvious."

"Oh..."

"But well, I am honestly very curious. How about we show each other our Unique Skills then? I mean stranger danger and all that, but what if we formed an unstoppable duo between the two of us? Then we won't be strangers anymore!"

"No, that's called forming a duo with a stranger... But somehow, I kinda want to try. Even if you're a secret serial killer, it's not like any of us are killable anyway, so who cares!"

"I'll take that as a resounding 'YES'! We'll take the world of... this world by storm! Gahahhahaha!"

"Oh yeah... I forgot what this world's name is as well."

"It is Gaia," said Ciraphim right beside me. Always so helpful, thank you!!

"What?? So generic! What's next, is the moon... Wait is 'Moon' the name of the Moon, or is 'Moon' what moons are called...?"

"I think you're even dumber than me, Gothra. Hahahaha!"

"I'll make sure to make you eat those words Fira. With a lot of spicy sauce!"

"Oof, I don't like spicy food. I apologize for my earlier rudeness, your majesty."

"No, off to the spicy dungeon with you!! A dragon who is weak to spice. Pathetic!!

"Hahaha. By the way..." right if we were going to play together, then asking to friend list each other is the natural course of things. But ahhh, my contacts in real life is... well, it's not zero I don't think, but I haven't used it in decades!

"Hmm, what is it? You are permitted to speak cadet."

"Yes, I would like a promotion, General!"

"Denied! Go back to work!"

"Hahahaha!" Alright I gotta ask her... "Anyway, we should friend each other so we can play through the game together..."

"Ehhhh...? What's this? We just met Fira! What a romantic! Bwahahahaha!"

"What? No! I just meant if you want to! We can just forget about it if you want!"

"Pfft! Bwahahahahahahhahaha! Say that again! Say it again! Oh god, you're perfect. The perfect tsundere! Gahahahahahahha!"

Eh, a tsundere? What I said... really fits!

Guh! I feel like my soul was just wounded greatly! Minus many points! A formidable opponent indeed are you, Gothra!

And then a system window popped up:

< You have taken great emotional damage! >

Kidding, it's not that. That was a fake, hahahahaha!

< [Gothra Tankernov] would like to friend you. >

'Would like to friend me' Pfft! That sounds like some kind of induendo! It's not a verb!

Oh, I'm grinning? My own humor cracks me up then. That must be it.. It's just some friends list in a game, it doesn't mean anything.

But ah... well... Yes, of course!

Ting!

Gothra received the notification, and seemed just as happy!

"Eheee...? What's this? Someone looks happy!"

"Shut up! It's nothing!"

"Gahahaha! How the tsundere has turned! Hahahahaha!"

"Grrr..." she groans in defeat. One point for me! I don't know what the competition is...

(For those who don't jack off exclusively to hentai. Tsundere = a common trope in Chinese Cartoons where someone likes another someone, but shows it by being very abusive, and that's hot somehow.)