All my defences were stripped away, need spiralling out of control.
Slowly, surely, one long finger entered me. I convulsed around him. "Miss?"
Oh no. No, no, no. Not now. Go away...
"Miss, is there anything I can bring you?"
I forced my eyes open to see the waitress hovering at the side of the table, looking at me curiously. Surely she knew what was happening. It had to be obvious.
The finger inside me curled, and my toes curled along with it. "No!" I said. "Nothing. Thanks!"
She looked at me strangely. "Your lunch will be out shortly. There's a bit of a backup in the kitchen."
Don't care! I wanted to scream.
I felt Waters move under the table. Rough cheeks scraped over my tender inner thighs.
Oh god. No, don't, don't you dare.
"Ma'am?" the waitress said. "You don't look very well."
"Just a hangover," I blurted. "Need some hair of the dog." I reached for the wine glass I had rejected, desperate to hide my cresting need.
Anton Waters sucked my clit into his mouth, scraped his tongue over it, and I came.
My hand flailed against my wine, knocking it over, but I barely even noticed. All my determination not to scream flew out the window, but I had the barest shred of self-control left to bury my head in my arms and shriek into the table. My whole body shuddered and stars burst against my eyelids as he suckled on my clit, curling his finger inside me. My legs curled over his shoulders, pulling him to me as I shook with pleasure so acute it was almost pain. The soft, vague roughness of his tongue pulled my clit further and further into his mouth and pulled me along with it. I felt as though I might melt where I sat, might fall into his mouth and be devoured, and I wouldn't care.
And he didn't stop, even as I came down from the shuddering heights, dragging moans from my mouth. I felt the eyes of the entire restaurant on me as I came, and the coarse humiliation slid against the pleasure, sharpening it like a whetstone until it cut like a blade.
Waters retreated, and I felt his absence like a bruise. At last, I was able to raise my head. I forced myself to meet my waitress's eyes.
We stared at each other for a long moment. I knew she knew. And she knew that I knew that she knew.
I did the only thing I could think of. I pressed a hand to my mouth and clutched my stomach with the other. "I think... Mr Waters went to the restroom," I gasped. "Could you... get him for me?"
Her eyes wide in terror, the waitress nodded frantically and fled the scene of the crime. I didn't dare look around to see who else had noticed me just have the most powerful orgasm of my life.
After a moment, Anton Waters popped up on the other side of the booth, looking cool and unflappable, as though he had just gone to retrieve an errant fork. The only thing that gave him away was the slickness of his lips, wet with my juices, and his green eyes, watching me like a tiger. I met his gaze, still panting, then pulled my skirt down. My thighs rubbed against my pussy, sending aftershocks through my body.
For a long moment, we stared at each other. He glanced down at the contract by his elbow and rescued it just in time from the spreading red wine.
Wordlessly, he pushed it toward me and then held the pen out to me. "This is your call," he said. He studied me with eyes hooded by desire.
I hesitated one final time. Then I grabbed the pen and signed my life away.
"I'm an idiot," I moaned. "A complete and utter idiot."
My best friend Sadie cocked an eyebrow and sucked on her cigarette. "I don't think that's ever been in doubt," she told me. "You're not exactly the sharpest marble in the bag, Lis."
"You're so mean," I told her. Then her words sank in. "Wait, marbles aren't sharp."
She smirked at me and blew a smoke ring.
"That's even meaner," I complained. "My life is ending and you don't even care."
Sadie rolled her eyes. "Your life isn't ending. You're just marrying some guy for his money."
I threw a pillow at her, which she dodged. "I am not." I was marrying him to save my mom. And also because he seemed to have found my Orgasm Button. I'd told Sadie the first part, but not the second. It was too humiliating.
Tapping ash into the tray on my table, Sadie shrugged. "There's nothing wrong with marrying a guy for his money," she said. "I'd do it."
"You'd do a lot of things."
"Shit yeah, I would. Besides, your little noble I'm so poor! the act isn't getting you anywhere in your career, is it?" She gestured at the corner of my apartment where my latest creation languished, half-finished until I could procure the funds necessary to buy more clay. I'd had several shows, all at small galleries, and done well, but the bigger stuff required more money than I had, and more hustle than I was ever going to have after working ten-hour days at the bar. I hated to think it, but Sadie might be right: marrying Waters would be good for my career.
And my sex life.
If only it didn't seem so tawdry.
"So when's the big day? What do I have to wear as your maid of honour?"
I wrinkled my nose. "He said it was going to be soon. I don't have a lot of say in it. He's taking me out to a quote-unquote speciality boutique in like an hour or something to pick out my dress and, uh. Underwear."
That got Sadie's attention. "He's picking out your underwear?" she said.
"What kind of marriage is this going to be?"
I glared at her. "The exact sort of marriage you'd expect from someone who wanted to buy a wife."
She shook her head. "You can't even cook," she said. "He could have gotten a much better wife from Russia. And she'd be, like, way hotter."
"Yeah, fuck you, too," I said. "Now you're not going to be my maid of honour." If I was even allowed to have one. Waters hadn't mentioned anything about friends or family yet and it was making me uneasy. I'd never been the sort of girl to dream about my wedding or pick out my bridal colours when I was thirteen or whatever, but I would have expected a little more leeway in the planning. As far as I knew, it was being 'taken care of.' And since I didn't feel like a bride, I had to admit that it was kind of a load off my mind to just let things happen instead of struggling to assert myself in the face of... well, in the face of Anton Waters.
Sadie stubbed out her cigarette and got up. "Well, just make sure you don't forget the little people when you're rich and on the cover of all the tabloids, okay?" Sadie was one of my artsy friends as opposed to one of my bar friends, though she worked with paint and 'mixed media'—meaning trash she found in Central Park.
"Sure," I said. "You wanna be one of my hangers-on? I'll be taking applications through the honeymoon."
"I'd love to," she said. "But you have to promise, or I'm leaking this to everyone we know."
Fear drove through me and I sat up. "Sadie!" I said.
She held up her hands and laughed. "I know, I know. This was all in confidence. I promise. I just have to not get drunk between now and when you get married." She appeared to think about this for a moment. "So it had better be in the next twenty-four hours."
"Ugggh!" I said. "Out. Go to work."
"Right," she said. "Not all of us are lucky enough to marry money." "Out!"
She laughed as she exited my apartment and closed the door behind her, leaving behind the smell of cigarette smoke and her thick, heavy perfume.
I sat down on my futon and closed my eyes, trying to relax. Usually, after I saw Sadie, I felt better about things.
This time, it didn't work. I still had that gut-clenching fear crouching inside me. I sat up and took a few deep breaths and thought about calling my mother. I hadn't spoken to her yet, and I didn't know how to broach the subject of my pending nuptials. She still hadn't told me she was sick, but I could hear it in her weary voice whenever we spoke. The distance between us seemed to have yawned into a chasm almost overnight. Ever since my father showed up at my door, I hadn't been able to talk to her like I usually did, even though we had always talked, ever since I was a little girl. My father's constant betrayals had pushed us together, and she was my dearest confidant—or at least she had been.
Now she didn't even know I was getting married, and I found I didn't want her to know until the last second. Anton Waters was a rich jackass, just like my father. He was even more of a rich jackass. I couldn't bear the thought of her thinking I was making the same mistake she had—she was the one who had told me to flee our toxic household and not look back—and I couldn't even tell her that I was the one paying for her chemo treatments since she didn't want me to know about them...
Shit. This was all my father's doing. He had a knack for screwing everyone else up just by existing. If he hadn't been such a shitty person none of this would be a problem.
I rubbed my hand over my face and sighed, glancing at my phone. Only about thirty minutes until I was due out front for the car and I hadn't even had a shower yet. I knew I should get up, but I couldn't. I sat on my futon for probably ten more minutes before I finally found the motivation to stand up, and then I had to rush through a shower and makeup before throwing on clothes—less theatrical than the prostitute get-up I'd tried over lunch three days ago—and clomping downstairs to find the car already waiting for me and Zachary standing by the back seat, looking bored.
"Sorry," I said. He just smiled and opened the back door for me. Anton Waters was already inside.
I hadn't seen him since he went down on me in the restaurant where we'd met to discuss our prenuptial contract. In persuading me to sign it, he'd ducked under the table and, hidden by the table cloth, fucked me with his tongue and fingers, wringing an orgasm from me that had been so powerful I'd screamed in front of everyone, even our waitress. The poor girl had been unable to look at me for the rest of the lunch, which Waters had insisted on eating through to the last course while I sat there, humiliated and horny.
Yeah. Horny.
That was the problem. I'd like it just as much as I'd hated it. Who knew I was such a freak? Not me, and certainly not any of the boyfriends I'd had.
Maybe they had been the boring ones.
And now Waters sat in the back seat of the car, reading something on a tablet and completely ignoring me. Fear and excitement danced together in my chest, whirling around and around until I couldn't tell one from the other. Lifting my chin, I clambered inside. Zachary shut the door after me, and I crammed myself in the corner, half-fearing, half-hoping Waters would slip across the seat to join me.
He didn't.
He didn't even speak to me. He was too busy frowning at the iPad in front of him, and when I dared to peek at it I found it was full of small types. Some report or other.
Ugh. Just like my father, though he'd dragged his briefcase and his stupid Wall Street Journal around with him all the time—when he'd bothered to be home, that is. Even when he was home with my mother and me, he wasn't really.
What a douchebag. And here I was, about to marry someone just like him.
My ardour cooled somewhat and I sighed, settling for looking out the window, though I didn't see the buildings pass by until the car slowed and I found we were somewhere in Manhattan—NoLita if I had to guess—outside a little boutique called, simply, Anna's. The display in the windows was tasteful and minimal, meaning I'd probably have to work for a year at the bar before I could afford to even spit on the sidewalk out front.
Beside me, Waters snapped his iPad closed and slid out of the car. I put my hand on my door, but I was surprised to see him come around and open it for me. I'd thought he let his servants do that sort of thing.
"Good afternoon, Miss Dare," he said, formally. "I apologize for my preoccupation." And he held a hand out to assist me.
I hated the way my heart leapt in my chest when I put my hand in his.
The moment his skin touched mine, a frisson of desire shimmied down my spine, causing my back to arch and my pussy to warm. The sudden catching of breath in my throat thrust my breasts out, and I couldn't help the blush staining my cheeks.
"That's, uh, okay," I assured him, my mouth and my manners running on automatic. Silently I kicked myself as I let him help me from the back seat and onto the pavement. "I know you're busy."
He raised an eyebrow, as though inviting me to expand, and, stupidly, I did. Maybe it was the way those green eyes seemed to look right into my brain. I'd never seen anyone with such clarity in his gaze...