Carol's Point of View
Eleni surprised me by walking in front of the pushchair." What's going on little bro?" she said.
"How come you said that there was only you, Tina and me here? You said we didn't have a baby with us. " I asked.
"What are you talking about mum? How could we not bring Lucas? Dad's working today, don't forget. I know it's supposed to be a girl's day out but how could we not bring my favourite brother with us?" Eleni cooed as she smiled and stroked Lucas's head.
"Your only brother," Tina chimed in.
I stopped, when did I give birth to another child. I looked at Lucas. He was a very cute baby. He was very much like Tina when she was a baby, but with a bigger head. He had dark blonde hair and was totally different to what Eleni had looked like with her white, baby chick fluff. It looked like his eyes would turn brown. I wondered if they would be almost black like Tina's eyes. Or would they be a lighter brown? What if I was wrong and Lucas's eyes turned ocean blue like Eleni's. I remembered my husband, Nikos, being convinced that Eleni's eyes would be brown but I believed they would be blue. For once I was right. Most of the time Nikos was right and I was wrong. It was the only time I remembered being right.
"Mum, do you want us to go shopping on our own, so you can check how Lucas is? He might need to be fed or maybe he needs his diaper changed?"
"Ok. I'll just go find a bit of shade and a bench in case he needs feeding." I said "Call me when you are done and we'll meet up."
I left the girls and went to find a shady bench so I could check Lucas's diaper. Once I found a bench, I lifted the still crying Lucas carefully in my arms, putting my nose near his bum. There was no poop smell so I then checked his diaper if it was heavy and squishy from urine. Realising that it wasn't I thought he might be hungry.
Lucas looked like he was about six months old so I'd probably have to breastfeed him. When I had first tried to breastfeed Eleni I had tried to wrap her in a sheet when in public, but could never get the hang of it. Instead I would quite often go back to the car and feed her there. Once on holiday I slipped into a church, and sat in the pews at the back and discreetly fed Eleni. I had never openly fed either girl at a restaurant table or on a bench near the shops. Thinking about it, I recognised the heaviness as well as the pain from breasts engorged with milk. It was probably time they were relieved by giving Lucas a feed. It would raise my spirits because feel good hormones would be released and the pain would ease.
I decided I would no longer be embarrassed for using my breasts for their original purpose. Times had changed since I had breastfed Tina, women no longer wanted their breasts to be seen as sexual toys, they wanted them to be recognised for their original function. I didn't want to care if I offended anyone. I wanted society to change so men didn't assume that they had the right to leer at a woman if her breast was out and wanted to feed her child.
I lifted my top, checking that no one was watching me. I was being hypocritical to my beliefs but I still felt nervous about feeding Lucas in public. Even so I lifted my bra, let Lucas's latch onto my breast. Then I supported my breast with my hand and ensured Lucas's head was in the crook of my arm. I remembered the paediatrician telling me to massage my breast when the baby was latched on. I felt relief when Lucas was suckling and a pleasurable tingling sensation. My aching breast became lighter and less lumpy as it was emptied. It made me believe this was Lucas's usual routine.
I put Lucas back in his pram after covering my breast back up and I called the girls. First I rang Eleni but she wasn't answering her phone as usual. When it went to voicemail I called Tina instead. Usually Tina would either answer or see that I phoned her and call me back. I hung up, and in five minutes my ringtone for Tina played.
"Where are you? Lucas was hungry so I fed him. I'm near H&M. Should I wait for you here?" I asked.
"We are in H&M. We are trying on clothes. Περίμενε έξω!(Wait outside!)" Tina answered.
"Do you have enough money?"
"Yes, we'll be done soon."
"Okay, I'll sit on a bench outside." I pushed the pram to a bench outside H&M and waited.
I wondered how this had happened. How did Nikos and I end up having another child? We were always careful and agreed that two children were enough. It must have been an accident, but how? What happened? Why did we have another child? I would find out later I suppose.
I saw the girls and waved. In the end, I had to shout because they hadn't seen me.
"M-mu--m! Don't shout!" Tina scolded me and looked at me disgusted.
"You couldn't see me. What was I supposed to do?" I said irritated. My breasts were starting to become heavy again and it was causing my breasts to burn and feel prickly. They were causing me to be slightly annoyed.
"Shall we go and eat? I'm hungry. I'll eat anything!" I declared.
" Yeah, let's go eat. Πάμε για μακαρόνια (Let's go for pasta)," Eleni said.
"So, our usual place?"
"Ναι (Yes)," both girls said.
We walked to our favourite restaurant, it's Greek name meant pasta in English. It wasn't very big and was almost a cafe. It had seating outside with a temporary roof of plastic. It was Spring so the plastic sides weren't fully down. We liked coming here because the food was good and the service was friendly and warm. It was good value for money as well.
We found a table where we could easily fit Lucas's pushchair while he slept. I sat in the chair away from the window so I could be near Lucas and the girls could sit opposite me. Tina was directly opposite me because it didn't bother her as much if I ate my pasta messily or crunched my bread too much, like it bothered Eleni. It really grated on Eleni's nerves if I did so. It meant I could relax and not make it worse by trying to correct my mistakes and fail miserably.
The food as usual was delicious and really made me feel full and content. It was real comfort food. Οnce we had eaten, Lucas started to cry which didn't surprise me because my breasts felt heavy, and were aching and stinging. I decided I would feed him while the girls continued eating their meals. I tried discreetly as possible to take out my breast, in order for Lucas to drink some milk, and position Lucas comfortably so he could have his meal.
"Oh mum! What are you doing?" said Tina, interrupting my train of thought.
"What?" I asked Tina as Lucas started to suckle, looking at Tina who gave me a disgusted look, "You shouldn't be disgusted. Breasts were meant to feed babies. I want you to not be ashamed to breastfeed your babies in public when you have them."
Tina still wasn't sure if I was right or not and still seemed to be embarrassed. Eleni knew that I was right so didn't say anything but I am not sure she felt comfortable either. It was all right to have these beliefs but putting them into practice was another thing. I hoped that society would make it more acceptable in the future because it is a natural process. I also wanted my daughters to both feel comfortable breastfeeding in public.
When we finished our food luckily Lucas was asleep so we were able walk back to the car and go home. I always found the trip back home easier than the trip to Glyfada. I think because it was straighter and there was only one turn off I could miss. If I missed the turn then I would end up driving through Varkiza which meant we would need a few extra minutes to reach home . I wanted to drive fast because Lucas would wake up soon.