Chereads / Then There Was You (Xavier Holden Story) / Chapter 6 - Chapter 6: Letting out, Letting Go

Chapter 6 - Chapter 6: Letting out, Letting Go

The car ride was a comfortable silence as she went to a drive through to make sure Xavier ate. It's been far to long and he really needed to take a pain pill. As much as she needed him to stay on bed rest and take it easy for a few days. Her heart was beyond thankful he didn't listen and put a stop to a monster. Being one of the few people to actually believe her evidence and reports and was powerful enough to do something about it she was willing to buy him lunch or make it all year.

"Thank you Xav. Really thank you for everything you did today everything you made happen. Plus everything you stopped for possibly happening. I mean really God only knows just how horrible this could have really gone on. Like there's no telling what evils would have come from the repercussions of letting him just have free reign in that state. It's way too risky. That family always drove me nuts thinking they were so untouchable. You have no idea how much today really meant for me and so-so many others." She told him as she pulled into his drive and turned off the car.

Looking at her glistening eyes he knew how much she was holding back. He knew exactly what would have happened and his poor Ari had no clue just how right she really was. "This should have been handled immediately. I have no idea why they just couldn't call a meeting. I know I wasn't a main investor when that whack nut was hired but after I signed on board I should have been informed of those reports. I'm sorry it took me this long to see how twisted some of the things in that place really are. I really need to get a team in there and start interviewing and testing the staff. I can't let things like this go so easily without people facing consequences. This will never happening again. Nothing like this will ever happen again under my name. I promise you that."

Putting his hand on hers. "I want you to know you can always come to me with problems or concerns like this Ari. I will always hear you out. This was such a huge step for so many families today. Also a huge step in letting other people know that it doesn't matter how powerful your name or you think you are. You will always reap what you sow. No one should ever be above the law or what is morally right. Again I am just so sorry it took me so long to get this to happen. Now let's go inside and eat." Smiling to her she just nodded grabbing the bag of food and getting around to his door.

"You should really be bringing your cane or your crutch. It's too much too soon. You doing to much on this leg. I am going to check it when your done. I think it may need to stay on another week. Unless you stay off it." Helping him up the door as he unlock it. He couldn't help but groan at the thought. He was much more smirking to himself as a woman who was way to short to be helping a man of his size he towers over her yet she really holds her own. At the moment he was thankful for whatever extra help he received as the pain started to build up. Grabbing his pills off the counter, Ari had handed him a small cup of water with a small appreciative smile.

"What can I grab you to drink for your food?" "Whatever you get for yourself." "Alright, soda it is." Placing it down in front of him as she placed the huge sub sandwich in front of him hers was half the size. The bag of chips was next as she made sure to look to see if he was comfortable in the chair. Looking around she seemed to found herself with him once again in the theater room. The chairs were better for him to get in and out of and even better position for him to sleep. If this is where he felt comfortable she would make sure to make it feel as peaceful as she could.

"Witcher? Is that any good?" Xavier asked her. "You really don't watch too much T.V do you there bud?" "No I guess not but you know I got the time now. I mean I always see some trailers with the guys every now and then. I think hey I should try that. But you know how it is when time gets away from you and you lose your train of thought. I'm seeing all this healing time. More like a chance to finally slow down for a minute and just try to relax do a couple of things I always say I'm going to try to do." Xavier told taking a big bite.

"Like watch movies?" "Yup! Going to read a couple of books to I bought like three years ago and never got to read. Guys are going to come over and have poker night every now and then. It's nice when that happens it frowns out the silence that I swear I never knew could be so deafening." Xavier said shaking his head. "That's very true. I admire you for that. I promised Brently I would be putting myself out there and I have yet to do it. It's like you said time is just consuming. There's either never enough, or sections that have to much. The girls are trying to drag me out next Saturday. I don't know though. After everything that has happened I think maybe I need to be low key. What do you think?"

"You really want my opinion?" "Yeah I do." "Well in order to answer that I got to ask a few questions. When you say after everything that has happened are talking about just losing Brently two weeks ago? Or are you adding the plane crash in there too? I mean you always asking me how I am with everything but Ari how are you? You watched some people die. You had to piece strangers back together. You went down in an actual horrific accident. Bounced right back into work. I of all people know when you are using your job as a crutch just so you don't have to focus on the events that have unfolded around or against you."

"When you add on extra turn of events like today with the whole case on Dion Whithers after battling this for so long. I mean other people would be celebrating getting him locked up after months of trying to nail his ass. Can I ask you something about that?" "About Dion or the case?" "Dion." "Sure." "Has he ever made you feel uncomfortable in any type of way? Like inappropriately?" Xavier was uncomfortable and disgusted by this question but it was bugging him in the back of his mind. "You mean did he try to force himself on me like the patients that died under his care?" "Ugh yeah. Is that crossing a line? I'm sorry if that offends you." Cutting him off.

"It's fine he tried to make verbal advances to me and so many others. He would try to get his gentle light touches here and there but thankfully it never got to more than that. I work to much in the clinic unless I have surgeries or checking on patients after care." "I think you should go out with your friends. Ari you need to let your hair down and reconnect with them. It's been two weeks and they are just worried for you. They want to help you be ok. They need to see you. They need to know you are still… Arabella. You can't do that though unless you let yourself breathe and fall apart. You have to face everything that has happened straight on. You have to face yourself Ari."

"I think once you finally let it all go and get it out there. We won't feel like victims of a crash but the survivors we really are. I mean all of these things that happened to you this month. They happened. Now we have to move by embracing it. Once you do that you will realize how much easier it will be to breathe and you can keep your promise and finally start getting out there. You are only holding yourself up right now because everything is fresh and you have pushed everything your feeling and everything that's going on buried way down deep out f the way to deal with it later. All that's going to do is just bottle up and explode. That's not healthy love. Let it out. Then let yourself be with your friends." Xavier told her simply.

"Is that what you did? You just let it all go? You feel like your are able to move on better right now with all that's happened and is happening to you. Is it really that easy?" She asked a little more sarcastically than she meant to. "I know I bounced right back into my work. I know I haven't stayed bed ridden and I pushed myself a little to far maybe. I know I didn't wake up in the best of mind and reacted in the best of ways. But yes. I faced it what happened to me. I am embracing it. I am working through it one step at a time. Each day it is getting a little bit easier. Especially when I have a wonderful doctor friend who I can share these moments with and vent it out. That's healthy. This is good for us Arabella. You know you don't have to face it alone. I am here for you. We can do it together if it's too much. No one should have to be this type of strong alone."

"I think you're doing just fine. You handled it alone." "The hell I did. Like I said I have a wonderful friend who has a heart of gold who has repeatedly taken great care of me. I have great parents who check in on me way to suffocatingly much. I have my boys and hell even Preston who have helped me out every step of the way. I in no one did this alone. I can't, I mean look at me Ari does it look like I will get far by myself right now. Just because you can do something alone doesn't mean that you should." He laughed to her making her smile. "It's a little different for me than I guess. Maybe." "OH I get it now." Xavier said shaking his head lightly. Picking up his trash.

"Get what?" She was a little curious now. "You are the strong, independent, introvert. You never ask for help. Hell I bet you never really ask for anything if you can help it. You are so used to being the strong one for other people, hell even yourself. You don't' know how to let someone help you. You are not going to be a weak or less person for letting someone in you know that right? Hell I think it makes you even stronger. I mean to have that kind of faith and trust to let yourself be able to do that is amazing not everyone can. Especially this day and age. Ari you need to let others help you. You need to let them back in." Xavier told her with so much love and adoration in his eyes. So much hope hiding back there.

"It's not always that easy. It's not that simple. I let plenty of people in. I don't hold myself back from anyone. I am not afraid to ask for help. I just. I." She was so lost in her own head wanting to argue with him that he was wrong. She just meet him like almost two full weeks ago. What the hell doe she know. DAMN IT he's right. I don't' even know the last time I asked anybody for help for anything. Why do I hold myself back so much. I am so sick of feeling alone. The fact that I lost Brently maybe that did strike a cord to close to home. Maybe the girls, Liam and Preston maybe I do need to let them back in. I can do this alone just fine. But why if I don't have to? Thinking to herself she got lost on track when she heard him call for her.

"I'm sorry what?" Laughing to himself. "Look I know you well enough to know you want to try to argue this. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I just need you to know that I am here Arabella. You have a great support system of your own. One more couldn't hurt right? I like this between us. I will never tell you something just because it's what you want to hear. I will tell you want you need to hear because I only want what is best for you. I expect the same thing from you as well. Honesty all the time. No matter if it's uncomfortable or anything weird like that. I want us to be open with each other. Alright?" Xavier told her. "Yeah. Yeah I think that would be best."

Picking up all the trash and throwing it away. "Thanks Xavier. I will take your words under consideration. Are you ok. I mean do you need anything else before I leave. I got your pain pills and water here. Make sure to stay hydrated. Your leg is fine enough to come out of the boot cast Friday. Do you need help to get to the bathroom or anything?" "No. I am good thank you. I have the cane right here. I'm probably just going to take a nap. I am still adjusting to the shoulder pain. I guess I will rest up until you put me through it Saturday." Winking to her making her shake her head. "Seriously Arabella, thank you. I really can't do this without you. You call or text if you need anything. Day or night. Whatever you need." "I will. Thanks." Walking out the door her heart, emotions and nerves were just all over the place.

Walking into her home she couldn't get his words out of her head. Thoughts running all over the place. When she undressed and walked into the bathroom she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Turning to take a deeper look at her face. The color of the skin around her eyes and the rest of her face until she caught herself not being able to look away from her eyes. The cuts have healed mostly. The bruising is changing into faded colors. The longer she looked into herself in that mirror the more flash backs she had running through her head. Hearing the voices and laughter of her friends. The sound of the voice of a friend she will never hear again. The sounds of the screams of the passengers. The plane ripping apart. The rain, the lightening. Xavier freaking out of not having his 'wife'. His words of being strong too long.

Her hand covering over her mouth. Tears falling like rain all the way down her cheeks. Collapsing onto her knees silently crying until a loud cry escaping from with in her that felt like years of trying to get out. Holding herself to pick herself up and get into the shower where she found herself holding her knees to her chest. Xavier was right until she let this out. Let the years of being strong go. Let the horrible last wo weeks even months go she will never be able to live the way she needs. It had to be a good hour since she walked in there. Picking herself off the ground drying off. She took herself in her towel wrapped around her body and sat on her bed. It was like time had stopped. She was sitting there lost in her thoughts and emptiness for three hours before she put her pajamas on and fell asleep.

Waking up the next morning. Everything felt… different. Lighter and heavier in a weird way. So much came through and out of her last night it was like she was different. Ari felt like anew person. Walking into her bathroom to get her morning routine going. Looking back into the mirror was when it hit her. She looked so different than the broken woman that was before her last night. 'One day at a time.' 'I can't do this alone.' 'Just because you can do it alone doesn't mean that you should.' It's crazy how much of Xavier's words stuck with her. 'You were right.' Taking a deep breath she finally feltlike she was picking up the pieces of her broken self and can feel herself moving on. Very slowly but at least she knew now she was at least heading in the right direction. Finally got her foot in the door.

Hearing her phone go off being surprised by the name. 'Hey.' 'Hey?!I just found out you were in a plane crash after Brently passing. And you answer with hey?! Why didn't you call me. I had to read about it in the paper. I mean what the hell Ari. I know with everything between us you may not seem close to me as we used to. That doesn't mean I still don't worry or care about you. I mean we're still friends right? You have no idea all the things that ran through my head reading that damn article. I mean Arabella please just tell me honestly. Are you ok?' The man on the other line asked in a heavy breathe he didn't even know he was holding.

'Yeah. I really am.' Looking at herself one last time in the mirror before turning out of the room. 'Look Vincent. I am sorry you worried so much. It was pretty hard when it happened but I am honestly fine. It could have been so much worse. I got by with some bruising, some cuts and bumps on the head not even a concussion. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I have been busy. Of course we are friends. You really don't need to worry though everything is ok. I really mean that.' 'For some reason I believe you. You sound. You sound like your ok. I bet you through yourself straight back into work. I just want you to promise you are taking care of yourself. I know how you get.' 'I promise Vincent I am.'

It was silent for a moment. 'You know I moved into the day you left. After the funeral. I tried to come see you. You know check up on you. Pay my respects and all. I'm actually all settled in and the office has been running a month before I even go there.' 'Oh really. That's great. I mean do you like it here in town?' 'Yeah it's just like you used to tell me. I ran into your mom even Liam. It was so nice to talk to them. I missed them.' He said chuckling to her. 'Yeah their a hoot. Truly something else.' 'Maybe when you get a free night. If your up for it. We could grab dinner and catch up. I miss talking to you. With everything that's happened I would really like to see you for myself. I just would feel so much better to see if you're ok for myself in person. I know we only talk on the phone and catch up. It's just I live here with you in town now and we're bound to run into each other. I actually look forward to it.'

'Yeah. We can do that. Maybe you can come out with me and the gang one-night old times sake. I'll keep in touch maybe in a few weeks or something we can catch a lunch break. I think your office is across the street form my friends building. So that should be pretty close enough to mine.' 'You're friend? I didn't know you had friends who worked for the Holden company. 'Well, yeah I mean we met two weeks ago just before the crash he was actually in it with me.' 'I'm sorry you guys had to go through that. I really am glad you're ok. It really messed up for awhile it took me like three days to make this call. I tried to call your parents last week. They didn't answer me. Just said if I was all that worked up to just call or come see you. Here I am. I really look forward to seeing you though. I guess I'll let you go. I know how busy you get in the mornings.' 'Ok take care Vincent.' Hanging up the phone. She couldn't help but wonder why that felt so weird.

They were broken up for a while now. A part of her will always love him. The connection she normally felt for him. Wasn't as strong as it should have been right now on the phone. Maybe I let go of more than I thought I did last night. Look at me finally growing. Crazy that it took this long to feel it.' Shaking the feeling off and getting ready to leave her house and get her day going. Looking at her phone as she locked the door. She couldn't help but send the text. 'Thank you for what you said last night. You were right. It really helped. I hope you have a good day and finally stay on bedrest.' 'I am glad to be of service. I promise I will be lazy and still do my exercises all day here at home. Have a good day.' Getting into her car she started a new day that would be a new start she finally was ready for.

Xavier was looking at his phone he could only imagine the pain she felt and put herself through to be feeling good this morning. He wished he could have been there to console her. Going through his emails and working on his laptop from home he made sure to keep his promise and stayed home all day. Nix, Jace and Ryder came in the afternoon to go over some more business things and stayed to have a movie night. Looking over at his friends who were passed out from their food comas. Xavier was grateful. No matter how alone he felt. In his heart he knew that wasn't true. Maybe it wasn't loneliness that was the problem. Maybe it was just the feeling that something was missing. Not something but someone. After knowing everything he knows. Seeing and feeling everything he has it was simple the only thing he was missing was Ari. It's crazy how one person will make you feel like the biggest part of you is missing. Looking down at a photo of her smiling he took in secret he couldn't help but think.Soon, soon enough. Everything will be the way it should. We won't have to be lonely or strong on our own ever again.