It was almost 30 minutes until I squeezed Keri gently, motioning for her to pull over. We'd followed road signs to ensure we were going in the general correct direction, but I needed to look at the map to plan the best route. As we came to a halt the wobbling returned, and we both staggered a little. I jumped down quickly and took the weight of the bike so Keri could climb down onto shaking legs. Her knees buckled, and she scrabbled at her helmet, ripping it off and gasping for air.
I quickly put the bike onto its stand and rushed over to her, removing my helmet in the process. Her hair was slick with sweat and I could see her trembling even as I bent down to her. I stroked her head, concerned.
'Are you okay? You did brilliantly!'
'Yes,' she gasped, almost dry heaving with the effort. I could feel her suck in deep breath after deep breath as I gently stroked her hair, and slowly she relaxed, no longer shaking.
'That was fucking terrifying.' She said after a long moment.
'Yup.' I couldn't disagree.
'We almost died.'
'More than once.' I agreed.
'Those people probably did die.'
I winced at that, and she noticed, suddenly whirring around to look at me and shaking her head.
'No, it's not your fault. I didn't mean that. They were chasing us, you didn't have a choice. But still.'
I swallowed. 'But still.'
An unbidden tear stole a path down my fave and I felt Keri's gentle fingertips brush it off my cheekbone. Her face was inches from mine, and suddenly I felt intoxicated by her closeness.
'Thank you Ali.' She started. 'For saving my life.' Her voice was quiet but it didn't need to travel far. Our eyes locked, and there was only one thing I could do to respond.
I leant forward and pressed my lips to hers.
For a moment she stiffened and I felt panic begin to rise in my chest, I'd misread the moment horribly, but then her eyes fluttered closed, the hand that had been hovering over my cheek wrapping around the back of my head as she pulled my mouth hard against hers. Instinct took over and I pulled her whole body close as my lips opened slightly with hers, our tongues touching tentatively for only a second.
As quickly as it had started it ended, and Keri pulled away from me, stumbling backwards.
I felt the ground open to swallow me whole.
'Shit Keri I'm sorry I got caught up-'
'Ali we can't, I'm no good-'
We both rushed out apologies and excuses, tumbling over each other incomprehensibly.
Eventually we both fell into an embarrassed silence, not meeting each other's eye. It stretched like an eternity, although I'm sure it was only a minute or two, until I scrambled up to my feet and started digging in my bag's side pockets for the map.
'We should get going again… we still have a tail somewhere behind us.'
Keri was clearly glad for a change of topic, and agreed enthusiastically. As I settled into my usual seat as driver, shotgun safely holstered by my shin, I felt Keri mount behind me, her grip on my waist as impersonal as she could make it, as much distance between us as was possible.
Neither of us were keen to stop any time quickly and have to face each other, of that I was fairly certain, so I pushed through without a break for as long as my bladder would allow. When I finally conceded we were only 20 miles out from Jacques, and blessedly we hadn't seen another soul on the route I'd taken. I'd avoided motorways and main A roads but we'd still made good progress in the two hours. That time had allowed me to move through the absolute shame of having humiliated myself by kissing Keri, through anger at myself and her for putting us in this position, and into a kind of melancholy. There was still undeniably chemistry between us, but Keri had moved so quickly away from me it was obvious her feelings were no more than rose-coloured nostalgia. That was fine, I could live with that. I just had to try and act professional, not let our past get in the way. Squash those feelings back into that box.
It was obvious as we dismounted again that Keri had concluded to do something similar and our chat while we took care of bodily functions and had a drink of water were polite but superficial. It was awkward and I hated it.
We got back on the bike as quickly as possible and started the approach to the bar. We hadn't got far before a triple of smoke appeared on the horizon. It got larger as we approached, the accompanying smell of scorched wood becoming stronger with every mile. I didn't need to arrive to know what we were going to find.
There was nothing but a hollowed out shell of the bar left, still burning and crackling with the heat. When we got close enough I killed the engine, uncharacteristically letting the bike fall to the ground as I ran to the wreckage to search for my friends. It didn't take me long to find Jacques' body, twisted grotesquely under a fallen beam by the back door.
As I threw myself to the ground beside him I thought he was already dead, but his eyes flickered open with the motion, glazed and struggling to focus. When he finally found my face he relaxed, coughing up a small amount of blood that trickled from the corner of his mouth as he spoke.
'I knew you'd come here. I guess they knew too.' He coughed again and I fiddled with my bag, clumsily finding a bottle of water to hold to his mouth. He took a sip and sighed.
'You have to leave. Take Keri to Brighton. Jessie is the only one you can trust to hide you. She can…' the word faltered on his tongue and my eyes burned with tears as I watched him slip away. I leant over his body and sobbed.
It was some time later that Keri found me, still curled protectively over Jacques body, my body shaking with silent tears. I was aware of her in my periphery, watching me for a few long moments before she came to gently rest a hand between my shoulder blades.
"I'm so sorry Ali, but we have to move. They'll be back any moment now."
I knew she was right, but I was frozen in my grief, in my guilt. It was his friendship with me and ultimately his loyalty; for I knew he wouldn't have told them anything; that got him killed. Suddenly my brain kicked into gear.
"Victor! We have to find him!" I scrambled to my feet and went to leave but Keri held me gently back by one arm.
"I'm so sorry, I think I found him behind the garage… it looks like he took a couple of them out too."
"I need to see."
She said nothing but slid her hand down my arm and twisted her fingers in-between mine. She gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, then led me to where she had found my ex-boxer friend.
Victor had indeed managed to kill 3 very nondescript looking soldiers before finally succumbing to his injuries. I closed his eyes and pulled a nearby blanket over his body. I couldn't bear to look at Keri's sympathetic face. So I kept my gaze on the ground in front of me as I explained.
"Jacques suggested something before he…" I choked on the word and decided just to move on. "He said I should take you to Brighton but…" I risked a glance at Keri's face, but it was clear of expression. She hadn't heard then. I sighed.
"When we… split up… I had meant to sign up for the guild straight away but I was in a bad place so I just started driving around. I ended up in Bristol where I had a sort of… fling with the leader there. She would probably help us but I didn't exactly leave things on great terms and I'm not exactly sure what her reaction to you might be… she saw me in a pretty dark place."
I had been dreading this conversation for days now, hoping to avoid it entirely if I could, but I was so numb from the death and destruction around me that it barely even registered as awkward. I hadn't been sure what her reaction would be, but Keri had either decided now was not the time, or that the details didn't matter because she pushed all questions aside, with the exception of one.
"Do we have much choice?"
I shook my head sadly. "I don't think so. Jac would know how little I'd want to introduce you and Jessie, so if he suggested it, it was with good reason."
I saw her square her shoulders and set her jaw in a stubborn line. She definitely did have questions and had decided on tact. That would be something to look forward to.
"Then let's go." She turned from me and started to walk away.
"One second. We still need supplies."
Keri turned back, looking incredulously. "Umm, I'm not sure if you noticed Ali but there's not much left."
She was right in that the main house was gutted, the still smouldering remains barring entry even if it weren't so obvious that nothing inside could have survived.
"There was a very special reason Jacques picked this random house in Coventry to start his bar, and it had nothing to do with the view." I said no more but set off down the garden, not waiting for Keri to follow but trusting that she would.
At the end of the thin, overgrown path I had taken was a long, straggly row of hedges. It was in front of one of these I bent down, feeling under the dead leaves and overgrown weeds until my fingers curled around a thin metal ring. I gave it a hard tug and felt the whole metal plated door lift from the floor, revealing a narrow set of steps leading down into a dark corridor.
Keri came up behind me.
"He has a bomb shelter?" Her voice was incredulous.
"I know." I reached around for one of the torches clipped to my rucksack and detached it, flicking on the light and aiming it into the gloom. "You ready?"
I felt fingertips on my bag and then another light clicked on. There was an audible gulp. "Yes."
"It's not as bad as it looks, I promise." I led her down into the corridor below and along a few feet until we reached another metal door. I felt around my neck with my free hand, finding the key tied there and pulling it gently until the leather strap snapped. I used the key in the door, giggling it a little until it opened with an audible click. I gave it a gentle push, then walked into the space beyond.
The room was surprisingly open and airy for somewhere buried 8 feet underground. I found the light switch and flicked it on, then watched in satisfaction as row after row of overhead strip lighting flickered on with an audible hum. It illuminated a large space that had been sectioned off, we had entered into the kitchen area, complete with appliances and a large dining table. Beyond that was split into two, one half held 4 bunks with footlockers and little else, the other half had a long bookcase lining one wall, and a long sofa facing it. Another door could be seen at the far end, which I knew led to a small but functional bathroom.
I turned to find Keri hadn't moved from the doorway. Her mouth gaped open a little.
"Impressive huh? We shouldn't stay here long. But there's everything we should need here."
Keri still didn't move. "Who the hell has all this set up and then doesn't live in it when the actual apocalypse happens?!"
I walked over to the table and shrugged my rucksack off. "Oh he did, for about 2 years. That's why I have a key, I used to bring him supplies." I started unpacking and sorting items into neat piles. "It took me that long to convince him nobody was going to kill him…" My offhand comment suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks and I fought down another wave of tears. "Come and give me a hand. There's only the one exit and I don't want us to be stuck here if they come back."
After another moment she removed her bag and came to join me, sorting through its contents and adding to my piles. It didn't take long, we'd eaten a lot of the food we'd brought. I set Keri to work going through the cupboards one by one, replenishing our stores. I swapped out our threadbare blankets for some I found in a locker, and refilled our water bottles. Keeping busy was the only way to keep my mind off my friend's body going cold just feet above us. If I stopped to think for too long, I wasn't sure I would start again.
"Is there a toilet in here?" Keri's voice broke through my reverie.
"Oh, uh yeah, just through there." I gestured towards the other room. I'd started to drift back into my tasks when an excited squeal cut through the silence. "OH MY GOD there's a shower! Does it work?" Keri's head reappeared around the corner.
I waved a hand toward one of the lockers.
"Sure does. There's towels in there, knock yourself out."
Another excited noise escaped her lips as she ran to retrieve a towel then ran back to the bathroom. I heard the door close, followed by the sound of rushing water.
After a few minutes a new sound reached my ears, a few gentle bars of a nameless song. I hadn't heard Keri sing in a long, long time. I put down the first aid kit I had been restocking to listen.
I couldn't make out any words but I closed my eyes and let the melody wash over me. I'd never been able to sing a note, but Keri had a beautiful voice. My mind was cast back to lazy Sunday mornings, breakfast in bed and Keri singing along with the radio absentmindedly while we read in an otherwise companionable silence. So lost was I in my memories I didn't even notice the singing stop and the water shut off until I opened one eye to Keri standing over me.
"It's all yours!"
I thought about begging off, being alone with my thoughts in the shower was not at the top of my list, but I was sure I was beginning to smell a little overripe, which is one thing if your company is in the same boat, but quite another thing when they're wandering around squeaky clean in nothing but a fluffy towel.
I realised I had been staring at her and looked away quickly, trying in vain to fight the rising colour in my cheeks.
"Uh, y-y-yeah right, thanks." Clearly I was back to being unable to form clear sentences, so I wasted no time gathering my own towel and heading for the safety of the bathroom.
Despite my misgivings the shower cleared my head a little, and I was able to think objectively, if only for a minute. Jacques clearly thought that Jessie would have information, and we desperately needed information. I wasn't sure I could trust her, especially with Keri in the mix, but Jac wouldn't send us into danger. So Brighton it was, to introduce my ex-girlfriend to my rebound girl. Fantastic.
It was Keri's turn to stare when I reentered the room wrapped up as she had been in just my towel. She'd taken the time to dress in the same worn jeans with a fresh shirt, but the comb in her hand had fallen still half way to her head.
"Holy Christ Ali, what happened?"
For a second I was confused and looked down at myself, expecting to find some open and bleeding wound I'd somehow missed. Then I realised it wasn't a recent trauma she was concerned about. Across almost every inch of my body was crisscrossed with scars, some silver and old, some still pink and raised. I looked back up at her.
"Ah… it used to be a pretty dangerous job, working in the guild."
Keri looked around at the bunker, then back at me.
"Oh yes, I can see it's gotten a hell of a lot safer."
She said it with a straight face, but then the corner of her mouth crept up into a smile and a small giggle escaped her throat.
We were both on the edge of hysteria, having spent so long filled with fear and adrenaline, that that was all it took. We both doubled over, tears of laughter streaming down both our faces. It took several minutes to calm down, and I had to keep a firm grip on my towel as I tried to regain my footing.
Keri took a few deep breaths, then schooled her face back to some semblance of seriousness.
"Are you alright though?" She was still looking at the myriad of scars that covered most of the skin I had on show, but I knew that wasn't what she was referring to.
"I don't think so. But I will be. Mostly I'm exhausted." It was hard to tell what time of day it was inside the bunker, but we had been awake well over 24 hours. Keri seemed to be considering this too.
"I think we should rest here a while. I'll go hide the bike, you get dressed."
I was too tired to argue, and when she returned 20 minutes later I had changed into the cleanest clothes I had.
"All quiet above?" I collapsed onto my back on one of the bunks.
"As far as I can tell." Keri made a beeline for the bed opposite, and sat down, facing me. I rolled over and with some considerable effort, propped my head up on one hand. "Do you need anything?"
I shook my head gently and a yawn escaped. "Just sleep, I think."
My head fell back down to the pillow and I watched Keri head to the lightswitch. Suddenly the room was pitch black and silent except for Keri's muttered cursed as she stumbled back to her bunk. I could hear rustling as she settled in, then only the sound of her shallow breathing. Within moments I could feel my consciousness slipping away, and I was only semi-aware of a scraping noise of something being dragged along the floor. A moment later, Keri's hand found mine in the darkness, her fingers entwined with mine. She gave it a comforting squeeze as I finally let sleep take me.