After Gray's words, a laugh suddenly burst out. This made the hooded girl feel confused. She looked at her mentor and then at Reines. She was the one laughing nonstop. A few small tears peeked out of the corners of her eyes as she touched her abdomen with her palm, as if every laugh hurt. What this country girl said struck her as hilarious.
"Why are you laughing, what did I say?"
She asked confused. Even Assassin seemed to raise his eyebrows at this girl's bold proposal, but Gray didn't notice that. Instead, she try to understand Reines' reason for laughing.
She sighed painfully and wiped away the small tears of laughter that came out.
"Haah... I'm sorry. It's just, what you said came out so funny that I couldn't help myself. Seriously, that was really funny. Are you sure about what you're saying?"
"I, well... maybe... I don't know. I just thought I'd help with this."
Reines wanted to laugh again after hearing that. Gray saw her and ducked her gaze. She felt hurt that she wasn't being taken seriously. She hid under her hood.
"Lady, you should think better of it. I don't think you should make a proposal like that without thinking about it first."
"I refuse..."
Interrupted the Assassin. She looked at him in surprise. She was also rejected almost instantly. Though with Reines it was quicker. It looked like Assassin had thought it over, but she had no way of confirming that. It's not like she can read people's minds. Well, she can sense the emotions of ghosts. So...
"Why?"
As she asked she thought about that. She focused her gaze on the Assassin and felt what he was feeling right now. She had never tried to poke inside the ghosts heart like this before. This was her first time trying. As expected, it did work for her. She felt a trace of confusion and sadness mingling in this boy's body.
Something told him there was more to understand about all this rejection.
"Because I don't need a replacement. I said it before and I say it now."
Toru shook his head. He looked at Sakura and for a moment his expression changed. Inexpressive as always.
"Looks like we got sidetracked from the topic. It's better not to talk about it again. And you, heal Sakura-sama."
"Uh, yes. Right away."
Startled by Assassin's expressionless stare, the man proceeded to do his work.
Having changed the subject so abruptly, Gray felt disappointed. After that magus in front of Sakura began his work, she just stared without saying another word. Her mentor seemed to want to say something to her, but with his look somehow told Gray that they would talk about her request later.
"Don't worry, child. The Assassin boy is just playing hard to get. If you insist he'll fall for it."
Add said, inside the cage. Gray looked down to hear him.
"I know men like him. They act cold and cool on the outside, but they're like harmless kittens on the inside. If you insist he'll stop refusing. That's how it works. It's the same with women. You're not that type, though. But that's okay. If he were exactly like you, it wouldn't make sense. Men's and women's minds work differently. Take advantage of that and be insistent."
"But it would be too embarrassing."
Gray didn't want to be a bother. If she was that pushy, she could run the risk of being rejected for good. For now they just watched as that man uses his rune stones to heal Sakura.
This distracted her for a moment from her conversation with Add.
The stones glowed like a flame in the dark. Each stone threw strange magical pulses through Sakura's body. It was like throwing a stone into the water and seeing the ripples that formed. Now it is exactly the same. Amber-colored ripples spread across the surface of Sakura's body. Her body began to heal accordingly. Her red skin, previously burned by Assassin's magecraft, regained its white and pink color. Her gasping breathing returned to normal and a couple of tears fell down her cheeks.
No one understood the latter. Not even the man in charge of healing the girl's body.
"Listen."
Add again. He interrupted the mystical scene of Sakura's recovery with his shrill voice.
"When you think something is embarrassing it becomes embarrassing. Remember he grabbed you by the waist like they were waltzing and blended in with your body. I don't think asking him for something is more embarrassing than that. What you are is a coward. If you don't take the plunge, you'll stay a coward forever. Give it some thought and reflect."
This time Add's words were very different from anything she had heard before. Add is supposed to have other intentions as well, but those words sounded to her like Add has had enough of her withdrawn personality. He wants her to take a leap of faith and live life. Having such a stubborn master with her grim personality had already tired him out. At least that's what Gray thought at the time.
Before he knew it, Sakura's treatment was over. The man wanted to run away from there, you could see it on his face. Reines, on her side, said goodbye to Waver by wrapping her arms around his neck. She spoke to him very closely to tease him and succeeded. Waver felt Reines' sweet breath very close to his face. He squirmed and broke free from the girl's embrace. That had made him quite uncomfortable. It also scared the hell out of him.
Gray witnessed that with a flushed face. She didn't understand how Reines could be so bold. She admired her for her tenacity. That was something she lacked. She was disappointed in herself for being so pathetic.
"Our work here is done. We're leaving for now. I have work to do. Oh, finally. Gray. Good luck with what you want to do. I know you'll be able to get it done. And...enjoy it."
She waved goodbye with a gentle wave of her hand as she passed through the door. It looked like she was going to disappear down the hallway, but she poked her head around the door frame and looked at Assassin.
"Take good care of Gray for me. Now that your master will be in bed for a while, you should give some thought to my and Gray's proposal."
And after that she left.
"This has been the second worst day of my life."
Waver complained. He followed his adorable little sister. But before that he looked at Gray and Toru.
"Take care of her, please."
A sincere request. He left after that and left the room in stony silence. Gray tightened Add's cage and fiddled with the ends of her cloak. A bit thoughtfully, she walked over to Sakura and took a seat next to her.
As she tried to think, Assassin remained completely silent behind her. Now he didn't seem to want to talk. That was very different a few minutes ago.
"I don't understand you..."
To her people were like open books. But now that Assassin appeared that no longer made sense. She could feel sadness, confusion, anger and disappointment in that servant, but that didn't tell her anything about him. He constantly contradicted himself. When there are many people in one place he seems to force himself to talk. He always has that expressionless face that reveals nothing to her of what he may come to think at all times.
"I really don't understand you."
It was so difficult and frustrating. She looked at Sakura lying on the bed. She remembered the smile on this girl's face. The kind girl who hid so much pain. She thought Assassin was that person Sakura loves. She remembered it from the first time she went out to have fun together with Reines and Sakura. The tragic love of that girl.
Asahi Toru was Sakura's prince, who left her alone forever.
What was in that past? How was the Assassin of that time? What differences are there with the Assassin of the present? Where does all that sadness that he has come from? There were so many questions and no answers. That's why she couldn't understand.
"What do you want me to tell you, whether someone understands me or not is not something I care about."
Assassin's voice behind her back sounded so flat and monotone. Such a voice, such a personality, such a gray life....
She didn't look away from Sakura at any point. It was amazing how this girl was so beautiful. She was surely one of the most beautiful women Gray had ever seen. She was like an angel. She remembered that white dress and the scene in that church.
"If something became important to you, would you give it your attention?"
She asked. Her voice was getting lower and lower in volume. Add was right. Her shady personality was limiting her. But she didn't know what to do about it. Simply talking wouldn't be enough.
"I don't think so."
Few words. A short, brief answer. A voice so cold and distant.
"Why?"
"There must be a why?"
Another question. He's evading her question with another. This time it was obvious to her.
"Of course there must be a why. There's always a why for everything. There must always be..."
"Not at all. There are things that simply can't be explained."
That's a lie. She lowered her gaze. She didn't know what kind of expression Toru is making right now. She's turning her back to him. He's in the other corner of the room.
It's frustrating.
"No, that doesn't make sense."
This is getting very frustrating.
"There must be a reason. You just don't want anyone to understand you or-"
"It's not worth it."
His voice was different this time. She turned her gaze back to Assassin immediately. She was disappointed when she saw no one there. Just an emptiness in the room. A disappointing silence.
"You... you're very frustrating."
Even though there was no one there, she could feel him close. That sinister, sad, confused presence.
"Really?"
He said. His voice was monotone again. Gray narrowed her eyes at that. She stood in front of Assassin's presence and looked up at him. Her emerald eyes under her hood seemed to reflect the sunlight streaming through the window. Outside the leaves of the trees appeared green and full of life, but some weaker than others fell blown by the wind.
On this day, in this place, she wanted to stop feeling frustrated that she knew nothing. Everything about Assassin confuses her. Everything in existence in this servant is mysterious. She wanted to know, but more than that, she wanted to be able to grow. Even though...
"I've stopped being myself..."
She could no longer afford to grow up. She had long since stopped thinking about that. But meeting her mentor, she thought of many things that gave her hope, but in the end it was all the same. She was no longer herself. Maybe this was just part of her existential crisis. Knowing the identity of someone mysterious made her think that she could also discover herself.
The conclusion is too obvious. She can't afford that luxury.
"Assassin, let me offer you my mana. You can get mana by murdering people, but that's not necessary when there's someone willing to help you."
She shyly held out her hand. She remembered that name whose meaning is still confusing to her and let out the words that were somehow going to condemn her.
"Let me help you, Asahi Toru."
Although she had made her request, Assassin did not respond. Moreover, there was a deep silence in all of this. She thought he had left, but she still felt the servant's presence nearby so it couldn't be that. He's still there, but he didn't respond.
It was as if he was thinking hard about it.
"I refuse..."
As sudden as the dawn after the deep night. So long to get such a disappointing answer. But Gray thought about what Add said earlier. She had to insist. Though the thought of bothering Assassin was still in her mind. She didn't like having to earn someone's hatred by being a nuisance. That idea terrified her.
This time she let a few seconds pass before she spoke again. She reached out again with every muscle in her body rigid. She squeezed the cage with her hand under her cloak and was sterner with her words.
"Please accept my help. Until Sakura wakes up, let me help you. Let me be useful..."
Her words slowly became less effective as she realized how loud her voice sounded. It felt as if he'd had the volume turned down on a stereo.
"What do you gain by helping me? There's no point."
He said, after another brief silence. That last, for her, she felt she could use to her advantage. This time she sketched a faint smile almost imperceptible to anyone, as if she had won a bet.
With her soft voice. With her outstretched hand. A bold and deadly proposition.
"There are things that simply cannot be explained."
Assassin was silent. Another brief pause before speaking his mind.
"You talk too much."
Someone seemed to chuckle. It was Add. Maybe he said, 'Well done,' but no one heard him. Gray thought this was a great accomplishment. She could have left Assassin speechless. So this was it. It was time to insist one last time and harder than before.
"Please... Sometimes people need help from others. You need someone to help you. You need someone right now."
"Fufu..."
"Huh?"
A soft, wry laugh, that was what she heard. It wasn't about Add this time. It was Assassin. He had let out a wry little chuckle after hearing that. She didn't understand. There was nothing funny about needing someone's help.
"You... you really are frustrating."
She lowered her hand in disappointment, looking down at the ground with sad puppy eyes. Assassin didn't seem to take anything seriously. This finally made her give up. He thought he shouldn't have trusted Add. The Mystic Code always pulls that kind of prank. Add was more than likely laughing at her failure right now.
This mystery was going to go unsolved....
"You'll regret it..."
But that was what Assassin said. She looked up and felt a boy's warm hand intertwined with hers. Assassin had taken her hand.
"You'll definitely regret it."
Her disappointment vanished into thin air the moment she looked at that servant's face. This time the hood covered his eyes. His scarf covered his mouth. It was hard to tell what expression Assassin was making at that moment.
"So, do you accept...?"
Assassin looked up and his silver eyes showed. He nodded in confirmation of this deal. Gray then sighed in relief. She gently squeezed Assassin's hand.
'A worn hand...'
Assassin's hand was rough and full of scars that showed through the sleeves of his kimono. She will never understand why this Assassin agreed if he refused three times before agreeing. There was something that made him decide, but she couldn't know that.
After that he let go of Gray's hand. She felt embarrassed that she had been so intense with her insistence. That wasn't normal for her, but this time there was something that made her push herself over the edge.
"Well done, child."
Add whispered to her. She looked into her cloak at the whisper, but when she turned her gaze back to Assassin, he was gone. The servant's presence had also vanished into thin air. Despite Sakura lying sleeping in that bed, everything felt so lonely after that.
-Hours later-
If there was a way to reverse her words, she would definitely do it. If there was a way to change her decisions, she definitely would. Add's laughter could be heard in the background. This had really become a joke. Waver was there too.
He had just explained to Gray what it was like to share mana with someone else.
In response, Gray ducked down and covered her face. She let out a scream so high-pitched that many would think they heard a cat meowing.
Her face red with embarrassment. With her body trembling with regret.....
'What have I done?'
She, too late now, regretted her decision.
To be continued...