"To be or not to be, therein lies the question" The hooded girl thought about it. A Shakespearean phrase that fit her current situation very well.
Her face is no longer hers. Her life is no longer hers. "To be or not to be" To be the person she is becoming, that is the answer.
However, she is afraid of what might happen. She wants to go back to the moments before her face will change in front of the mirror, but a deep fear full of loneliness mixed with sadness had taken over her heart....
And right now, this girl with an existential dilemma is riding the train together with the two people she just met.
'Sakura Velvet...'
That's how he met her the moment she showed up at the church. The adopted daughter of Lord El-Melloi II. She was supposedly part of the Matō family, hence her violet, almost blue hair. But even if she belonged to that family, before all that she was the daughter of a rather renowned Magus of the Tōsaka family.
'How did they end up like that?'
The combination of this girl and this man was quite strange, but as strange as it was, Sakura and that Lord acted like a true daughter together with her father. That bond between the two of them connected the day the tragedy ended.
'It's so... strange...'
She thought. The moment that girl approached her and offered to be her friend, she inevitably opened her eyes in surprise. In front of her, a beautiful girl appeared. Wearing a pure white one-piece dress; she was like an angel. A very beautiful girl who appeared out of nowhere behind that famous Lord of the Clock Tower.
The contrast of colors between this father and daughter was almost ironic. The man in the jet dark suit and the girl in the white dress like cold winter snow. The two of them together like yin and yang....
'It's so quiet it's uncomfortable...'
Shrinking inside her hood, she looked all around looking for a way out of this awkwardness. She is very shy with strangers and more so with people coming from the city. Being a country girl, all this was strange to her. And now that she is going to the city together with these people, her nervousness rose to stratospheric levels.
"Why are they so quiet, it's like a funeral in here!"
Suddenly an animated voice resounded causing the girl to shrug her shoulders hiding even more inside her hood.
Waver, on his side, sighed and took another cigarette from the metal box. This time he used a lighter, as they were on a train and people might get to see Sakura's magecraft.
"It's your Mystic Code, isn't it? I heard it has autonomy when it comes to communicating."
Sakura joined the conversation.
"It's like my sister's mercury servant, right?"
"It's a little more complex than that. Gray..."
That's what that girl's name is. Such an ironic name, by the way. This girl was dressed in gray and even her hair was that sad color.
The Lord continued:
"Can you explain to us how it works?"
At the man's words, Gray opened her mouth a little looking for what to say, but it was hard to explain what was inside her cloak at that moment. However, she opened her cloak a bit so that they could see the bird cage in her hand.
"He is Add. He's my Mystic Code. It protects the Noble Phantasm hidden inside."
Sakura looked at the metal box with half-closed eyes. There inside, two strange eyes looked back at her through the darkness of Gray's cloak.
"It's amazing. A Noble Phantasm..."
Recalling those two words brought back the memory of the glowing sphere floating in Fuyuki's night sky. That was the Noble Phantasm of the person she fell in love with. It was a glowing and mysterious power, so she wondered if what was hidden inside that box was similar.
Gray then hid Add inside her cloak again and ducked her gaze.
She was not proud of people being surprised by that Mystic Code, for what is hidden inside that cube with eyes is something that belongs to the real owner of this face she hates so much.
"I don't think she's special enough to be surprised..."
Gray said. Waver this time remained silent, as he quickly realized that he shouldn't have asked that.
"The trip will be long. Take the opportunity to get some rest."
Sakura took her father at his word, so she closed her eyes and rested her head on her father's shoulder. He didn't say anything, he simply allowed it. Smoking his cigarette, he looked out the window at the enigmatic plains stretching to the horizon.
Thus the minutes passed until Sakura fell into a deep sleep.
Waver then looked at the girl and saw the expressionless-faced little girl of ten years ago.
Gray's faint voice, seeing the scene, asked:
"Do you love your daughter?"
That was a good question. Sakura is not this man's biological daughter, but it feels like she really is. That little six-year-old girl, in the clutches of the Magus who saw only for themselves and not for this little girl's happiness, now lay under the care of a man inexperienced in fatherhood.
"If I had to answer... I don't know..."
It was the logical thing to do. Gray understood the man's words. Not knowing something didn't mean not feeling it. He could tell that man had a lot of things stuck in his head that wouldn't let him be himself and wouldn't let him feel his own emotions.
"I see..."
She simply answered him that and said nothing more. She just watched the beautiful violet-haired girl sleeping with her head resting on her father's shoulder.
So, as time passed with the train cars moving between the tracks, she thought hard, thought carefully and came to the conclusion that this day did not seem as gray as the previous ones.
When the Lord who at this moment looks out the window silently came to the church, asking her for help in desperation, she wondered what meaning this had for her life. Even now she wonders how this man did to her so as not to cause a stir by taking her away from that small town.
'I wonder what it will be like when we get to the big city?'
A full-fledged country girl who discovered more about herself on this journey.
-London, United Kingdom-
People's voices rose to the sky like a hellish chorus. Pacing back and forth like headless chickens, the people of this city were shown going about their daily activities.
Gray looked at this with fear. Unlike her hometown, there are too many people here. Inevitably she thought of these people, with every step they take, moving closer to the day of their deaths. The death that surrounds this place, like a great gloomy graveyard full of grieving souls.
Just thinking about it sent shivers down her spine. Her greatest fear is ghosts, but ironically they are also her strength.
"Father, should we stop by to buy some things for our guest?"
That's right. Waver didn't really think about it until this moment. In fact, where would Gray sleep? This was what he thought the moment Sakura mentioned it, so a foolproof plan emerged in his brilliant Lord mind.
"I guess that's fine. You go with her. I'll wait for them at home."
By going ahead on the way, he'll be able to get there earlier and tidy up the room a bit for his guest. There are a few rooms in the basement that are used for storage. One of those should be more or less empty so Gray can sleep and do her day-to-day things.
In this plan, even magecraft will help him. So it was time to run.
"Oh... wait... I..."
Gray tried to catch up to the man, but the man, in the prime of his youth, ran away as fast as he could. This made Gray feel that coming to this city was a bad idea. Lord El-Melloi II did not seem like a normal person. Moreover, he is too eccentric from her point of view.
Sakura witnessed this. Sometimes her father could be quite serious and sometimes he was usually quite strange and childish.
Anyway, she approached Gray because that girl seemed quite shy in the middle of the crowd.
"It's normal to feel nervous."
Sakura said. Gray paid attention to the girl's words.
"The first time I came to this city, even though I wasn't nervous, I was still very confused by all the things that happened in that single night. I can't say for sure how you feel, but we can talk and get to know each other better."
"Uh... yes... thank you..."
Again she hid under the darkness of her hood. Right there, Add's voice whispered to her.
"If you answer like that and then stay quiet as a dead fish, you'll have no friends. In fact, did you ever have any?"
Add's harsh words brought Gray to her senses. Sakura was looking at her waiting for her to make her first move, and Gray was sure she couldn't.
It was as if she at this moment was in that dark graveyard surrounded by fog, and in front was a large plain full of butterflies and flowers, a place where Sakura reaches out her hand to take her out of that dark place.
Gray thought deeply about this.
"I'm not very smart. I still don't know anything about the city and I'm afraid of many things. From now on, I'll be in your care."
Sakura nodded her head. Even for her it was a bit difficult to talk to Gray, as neither of them knew each other at all. Both of them, strangers in this world full of eccentric and dangerous people, walked forward surrounded by the hustle and bustle of London.
***
Gray looked in wonder and a little frightened at all the constructions of the city. As Sakura walked beside her, she clutched the cage in her right hand and looked in different directions.
Most of the sounds and sights this place displays are unknown to her, so right now she is discovering the world that has remained so far away since the day of her birth.
"That smell..."
Gray stopped and looked at a coffee shop.
Sakura saw this girl's reaction and walked ahead of her to enter the establishment.
"Do you want something to eat?"
She asked. Gray is not someone of much appetite, she even felt it was an annoyance for Sakura to just have to look at the food in the display cases, but she also felt that she shouldn't waste the kindness this girl was offering her.
In the end, it was more of the same, an internal conflict inside her confused mind that doesn't let her think clearly.
Processing so much information is difficult for her, but Sakura's voice led her to decide.
"You don't have to think about it so much. Sometimes you have to stop thinking in order to move forward. So don't think about it and come with me."
When you overthink things, that's when you stagnate in one place the most. Who Sakura knew as Asahi Toru had something similar happen to her all the time, but Gray seemed to understand this better. So she did as she was told.
She didn't think about it and walked into the coffee shop next to Sakura.
As they passed through the glass door, the tinkling of a bell resounded. Instantly, the warm smell of coffee and desserts flooded Gray's nostrils, who secretly closed her eyes and enjoyed the pleasant aroma of this place. The waiters seemed to be friendly people and the desserts displayed in the showcases looked delicious. The place had about fifteen round black tables with elegant chairs that gave Gray a glimpse of the elegance that London has in the middle of 2004. So, shyly she took a seat at one of the places in the back next to Sakura and waited patiently and quietly.
When one of the waiters handed the menu to both of them, she didn't know what to choose from all the types of coffee and desserts, but Sakura took care of that.
She ordered the waiter some sweet, colorful and small desserts along with two cappuccinos, as she thought this would be to Gray's liking.
So, while they waited for their orders, Sakura asked him:
"How are you feeling right now?"
Her voice was just as soft and gentle as it was a few hours ago in the church, which gave Gray the confidence to answer.
"I... I don't know... Am I confused? Am I scared? It's really a combination of those two. I'm... I'm..."
"You don't need to go on. It's okay, don't force yourself. It's hard trying to communicate with others. It used to happen to me all the time, but after I went to study at the Modern Magecraft Department, I met a lot of people that I could slowly get used to talking to. Although I'd be lying if I said that it doesn't still scare me to talk to strange people, I can do it because I think of one of those strange people I talked to a long time ago."
"Strange person?"
"Yes. When I was six years old, I met a very special boy who changed my life. He's the reason I'm standing in front of you right now. So, when you think you can't talk to someone else, trust the people you talked to in the past."
"I'll take your word for it, thank you..."
"As pathetic as ever. Don't you get tired of hiding from others with hesitant words? That just makes you a coward."
Add again let out her hurtful comments, but this time Gray wasn't going to let Add get away with it, so she silently got up from her seat and headed for the restrooms of the establishment.
Sakura stared in confusion, but a few seconds later Gray returned.
"It all happened so fast I didn't understand, what did you do?"
At Sakura's puzzlement, Gray shook her head and showed her inside her cloak. There, inside the cage, the talking cube, Add, lay face up. He had a blank stare and was babbling something concerning a monster or something.
What matters is that Sakura didn't understand.
"Here are your orders, ladies."
The waiter left the cappuccinos and desserts on the table and Gray looked at this with stars in her eyes.
"Go ahead. My treat."
Sakura told her, which made Gray shyly reach her hand towards one of the cookies.
Thus she tasted the sweet cookies and a soft, slightly pursed-lipped smile showed on her face as she chewed.
Seeing this in Gray, Sakura wanted to confide something to him now that she already knew what her father plans.
"From now on... protect my father..."
Sakura said. Gray for a moment felt confused and stiff-shouldered at how sudden that was, but she understood Sakura's soft words, so she answered her with the same seriousness she spoke to her.
"I will. I promise."
That's what she will do no matter what.
...
-????????-
It was an empty and pure place, away from everything and everyone. There was no sound but the sound of tears falling on the white ground, where dozens of white flowers sprouted looking up at the sky.
Yet, despite the purity of this place, everything seemed to distort into an infinite ocean of blood and grotesquely moving hands.
In the middle of it all was he.
Staring into the void...
With his will broken into pieces....
To be continued...