My wedding was the talk of Town,Jose had everything on plan,he took his time to spoil our wedding,the venue was on fleek,when I summer matthew stepped into the venue,it caught all the eyes as I stepped in on my feet,the ground was spread with water as some little girls began to spread roses from the stairs of the church and I began to feel the stars of heaven falling on me,my eyes became watery,I couldn't control the arena of rainfall beauty in my head,I was short of words,then the Pastor ask me,"Janet Wilson Ted will you take Jose Walter Percy to be your lawfully wedded husband,to love and honnor him,to be a help maid to him,for Richer,for poorer,in sickness and in health,till death do you part",I answered with all pride,"yes I do",as Jose also answered disame,I was mesmerizes,over joyed as we danced during our reception.
I was up to see roses every morning,I smiled to love notes everytime he stays late at work,
he was just my ideal man,he said to me in today's note,"hey cutie, melanie gifty,I will be fifty with you,my heartbeat,the aroma of my flavor,I will be guilty if I don't say I love you, just follow each note you see by 6pm this evening,I wondered what it was,so curious to know what he had in mind,I checked the window to see if he really haven't left,but he has gone,I called on the cook,"Joyce, Joyce,as she responded,"yes ma","did my husband tell you anything",no ma he didn't,him talk say na him go cook for this night,so make I no cook",I was "wow,hmmm who want to cook,abeg make water see road pass",I excused the maid.
I was on my laptop viewing tourism sight building that I have drawn,as the bell rang,I reached for the door,it was a note dropped in a plate and roses spread on the floor,I opened up the note as I checked it was 6pm on my wrist watch,by then I already had my bath and was working from my laptop, because my client were foreigner,I opened the note,"my beloved Janet,the light of my Empire,the summary of my wealth,it either you or you time to follow each note you see","hmmm" I said he had a way of pleasing his Queen,as I walk to the next door a note,I picked it said,"my heart needs a doctor because I'm love sick about you",I smiled,"open the door",I opened thinking I would see him but no I saw a pretty red dress tagged with "wear me",so I did,next note said"go down stairs and enter right to my heart",I walked as I stepped into his favorite White Lexus car,as the driver told me to relax,the fun was more to meet the eyes, as the driver stopped,I was welcomed,as I saw on the floor,"fill my heart tonight it is just you and I,calm down let me take you to the moon",I looked up as I saw the love of my life, sitting down, waiting for me,I walked towards him as he stood up for and arranged the chair for me to sit.
All this dinner was to let me know that he loved me,we sat and ate,after that retired home,month later I broke the news to my beloved husband that I was pregnant,he was happy,he took me out and spoiled me with love as usual,I was in labour as he followed me into the labour room,he held my hands as I cried out loud, finally our blue jet arrived,my baby boy just looked like him,his smiles and eyes reminds me of when I first saw my husband.
I began to sleep in the next room with my son,while I work overnight, suddenly One day,my husband walked home early from work looking angry,I have never seen him angry before,he then throw a white envelope on the table as I picked it and opened it just to see,
Dear Jose Walter Percy,
your services are henceforth not required,I urge you to leave behind every single document,file or property left in your possession.
Thank you
management.
I became speechless and wondering how,but the deed has been done.
I comforted him,but that was the beginning of violence in my house.
I was having breakfast as my husband walked to me saying"eat let a thief, there's no longer money to waste",I wonder if it was me he was talking about and laughed as he asked me to stand up for him to sit down,I was like "honey are whom are you talking to",and he said"madam I said get your dirty self out of my dinner sit, didn't your mother teach you how to respect your husband as he began to pounce on me",I was so surprised like where that was coming from,my so loving husband.
That wasn't all I walked in from market because we had to release all domestic state from their duties,I saw bottles on the table,it was unlike him,I could see yes it was alcohol,I guessed it was the lost of his job that made him so depressed,then I took it upon myself to get him a new one. Monday morning at La Madeleine Company I walked and asked for the manager of the company showing my card,gave respect for me,I then submitted my husband's CV on the table and was asked to come the next Day,which I did, unknown to me the DM of the company was my husband's ex,
finally I got a mail and he was given the job,
I showed him,it looked like all has turned rosey again.
His first day at work was Nice,then all of a sudden he began to come home late without a text or note,my son took his first walk as I told him but he seems not interested,then on this faithful day, before bed we got into an argument and he began to beat me,then pushed me on the bed and had his best part of me,time after time he ties me up in rope to perform his manly duties,I took in for our second child,as he seems not interested he asked me to abort the baby and I said no,as I ironed his cloth for him to take his leave for an official journey,as I turned to pick another cloth,he picked up the iron and put it on my back asking me where I stole his wallet to,I shouted as my neighbor knocked the door,he pushed her and left for work,my neighbor rushed me to the hospital as the doctor asked what happened as I narrated,he couldn't believe how my husband could change.
I went home to see my husband holding his belt,as he flogged me then pushed me on the bed as I cried in pain.
I then visited my friend Nora George,I told her everything,she then said that I should be praying for my husband.
I walked into my matrimonial room with heavy pregnancy as I saw my husband on bed with his DM,I began to shout at him as he reach for me with his hands and slapped me,I fell on my belly, before they could reach for the hospital,I gave up the ghost,so I wrote this to all the young girls out there,
"If I'm in your dreams,
note that I'm trying to
pass a message,
because I went through this passage,
I felt reams on a team,
this life is cooked
up with a sausage,
my mind was too young to watch
it trash to the drainage,
so I wrote this lines to your dreams,
I'm wounded in the wonderland
of my emotions,
my tummy is getting
hurt by some potions,
I ate it all with some strange lotion,
I could have waited to know,
I could have waited to grow,
but my friends said I was grown up
to be told,
I could have waited to
see all the roses,
if they could replace chapters
in my head,
but I was too impatient,
to know all in quote,
because it was now cold
out here,
now I'm buried far
from all my golds,
that why I had to say sorry,
although I'm a Ghost.
you never learn until you are hurt,
I thought I had all the merriment,
but no I stained my garment
with the dance of the carmelon.
Chapter 2
I was the most prettiest girl in our school,I had a very long black thick hair,It was our graduation Party,so I dressed so elegant and stunning as everyone started starring,Sham Asher was the best in basketball,he was also the envy of all girls,I vividly remember how he walked down to me and said,"pretty girls don't stand lonely I will love to keep you company ",me with my normal pride said to him,"I'm a company of myself",he smiled and said "whatever I'm your date tonight".
As we danced into our dinner party, gabriel my class bully walked up to me to ask me to be his date, before I could tell him that I'm with Sham,Sham tapped him from behind and asked him what he was doing next to me,the question was quite surprising,it felt like I was his girlfriend,then boom gabriel slapped Sham and they got into a fight,I left the dinner angry.
I had just gotten admission into the university to study medicine,then guess what I ran into Sham Asher,wow what a small world,we because friend, from friends to lovers. On this Sunny day my course mate gave me a hug after teaching him what he has been trying to learn,so my fiance came around and boom he saw me hugging a guy and asked me,"Is that how cheap you are",I slapped him and then he returned it back as I wanted to leave he held my hands close and kissed me,it felt like a dream.It then happened again when his friend wale who is also my course mate and my suitor told him,that I was dating the Lecturer who was my Uncle,he came to my apartment,when I heard a knock I ran to hug him but he pushed me down,he said"how many times have you slept with him",I was marveled because I have never even shown my laps to him since we were dating,and I was like "babe what are you talking about",then he pushed me saying "answer my question,how many times have you been sleeping with your chm401 lecturer",I then laughed out loud and told him it was my Uncle,then he apologized and hugged me.
He was now graduating leaving me behind since my course was seven years and his was four years,I wasn't happy,but he assured me that he will keep in touch with me.
We had just finished lectures it was my birthday and it seems everyone has forgotten about me,then I saw some people dancing towards me like they were celebrating something,then all of a sudden in the midst of the crowd,Sham Asher came out and went on one knee,then said",I'm losted in ur smiles,
can't stare in ur eyes,
I created a history a blank sky,
but in ur eyes gold flows,
you glow in the dark,
you are the brightness of crowns,
the future of our unborn
queen and kings rest on ur breast,
you are just to cute,
in my next life my smiles will still remember what a beauty you are,
my lifetime won't be complete
without you,
do me this honnor before
the night fades.
marry me.
He pulled out a diamond ring and put it on my finger,as I screamed,"yes I will marry you".
Our wedding was just a simple one with family and friends,
3years later my husband saw me talking to a male patient in our neighborhood,he came out dragged me like I was a rag and told me that he paid my bride price with his sweat and he can do whatever he liked with me.
Beating me became a norms, sometimes after he beats me he forced himself on me even with pregnancy.we had 3 kids together,then I asked for family plan in our hospital and he got to know about it and he pounced on me like I was an animal.
It was Tuesday Evening,I had prepared dinner when my husband came back and told me that he is not eating,I asked why but he didn't answer me.
The next morning I then asked him and he told me,"Eno Maquette you know I love you but I see you have chosen your kids and work over me,even as I stopped you from working you still don't have my time",then I felt he was not happy about me giving all attention to the kids,I then sent them to my sister's house for holiday,as my husband stepped home from work I then wanted to hug him and he started seem rather stressed as I took of his coat so romantic,he rushed in to use the guest toilet to ease himself as he dropped his phone,I just pushed my head front to see what is in front,lol and behold a whatsapp message came in saying,"hey babe,I enjoyed your body",I want more of you,I was amazed and then as he came out of the bathroom I challenge him and then he pushed me but this time my head landed on the wall hard,and I fell,he started to apologize and told me it was unintentional,soon the I was at the hospital as he prayed for me not to have any complication,he kept on saying sorry but my breath couldn't stay longer,now I'm writing this lines from my grave side,
you know me well enough,
you started it well with us,
my heart now is broken,
my spirit is stolen,
but I not to cry,
I gave up the Ghost,
please young girls
give him attention and care,
learn to treasure him.
but don't be an objective
bad influence can spoil your mind.
Chapter 3
After I heard and met this great women through Coma,I vowed that my husband would never touch me again, this was my fifth time coming to the Coma,but this last one made me realize how life can be.
Each Time I think of the way he beats me, assault me in front of our little kids,I feel like tearing him into shedders, whenever he beats me he always comes back to say sorry and will still repeat disame thing over again,even after beating me he will take me to the hospital.
So I took it on myself to get to know why and as I got back from the hospital,he began to beg me,"baby I'm sorry, please don't let this small issue between us separate us",so I was like "really a small issue,wait what's your problem self,I thought you said that we are one,so can you beat yourself",and he told me " my love I don't know what came over me",I packed my bags and children's own into my Honda Accord car,he kept begging me like a small Baby,I told him "jacob Eston kosi take your begging to the cross it won't change my decision",as I reach for the car,he crawled on his knees begging me but that didn't make me change my mind.
I happened to be an estate manager so I moved into one of the houses I had,then I began to research why some men beats their wives and still ask for forgiveness then just telling her you want a divorce or something else.
while searching this what I came across,"A vital part of understanding a social problem, and a precursor to preventing it, is an understanding of what causes it. Research on the causes of violence against women has consisted of two lines of inquiry: examination of the characteristics that influence the behavior of offenders and consideration of whether some women have a heightened vulnerability to victimization. Research has sought causal factors at various levels of analysis, including individual, dyadic, institutional, and social. Studies of offending and victimization remain conceptually distinct except in sociocultural analysis in which joint consideration is often given to two complementary processes: those that influence men to be aggressive and channel their expressions of violence toward women and those that position women for receipt of violence and operate to silence them afterwards. Many theorists and researchers have sought to answer the question, "Why does this particular man batter or sexually assault?" by looking at single classes of influences. Among them have been biologic factors such as androgenic hormonal influences;intrapsychic explanations focused on mental disorder or personality traits and profiles; social learning models that highlight the socialization experiences that shape individual men to be violent; social information processing theory concerning the cognitive processes that offenders engage in before, during, and after violence; sociocultural analyses aimed at understanding the structural features of society at the level of the dyad, family, peer group, school, religion, media, and state that encourage male violence and maintain women as a vulnerable class of potential victims; and feminist explanations stressing the gendered nature of violence against women and its roots in patriarchal social systems. Recently, researchers armed with multivariate statistical analysis have tested complex models of violence with multiple factors to explain battering (McKenry et al., 1995) and to model the common roots of verbal, physical, and sexual coercion toward women (Malamuth et al., 1995). Also new are integrative metatheories of intimate violence that consider the impact of historical, sociocultural, and social factors on people, including the processes whereby social influences are transmitted to and represented within individual psychological functioning, including cognition and motivation (White, in press).
Many of the theories about the causes of perpetrating violence against women are drawn from the literature on aggression and general violence. Both the research on general violence and that on violence against women suggest that violence arises from interactions among individual biological and psychosocial factors and social processes (e.g., Reiss and Roth, 1993), but it is not known how much overlap there is in the development of violent behavior against women and other violent behavior. Studies of male batterers have found that some batterers confine their violent behavior to their intimates but others are violent in general (Fagan et al., 1983; Cadsky and Crawford, 1988; Shields et al., 1988; Saunders, 1992; Holtzworth-Munroe and Stuart, 1994). The research suggests that, at least in some cases, there may be differences in the factors that cause violence against women", I was so speechless then went to meet my husband at work,the way he honoured my present like God came down to meet him,then he broke down in tears,I held him closely,he said"while growing up",my parents where not there to correct me,our nanny gave me the right to do as I please,most time when she gives me food and it was cold,I slapped her,I was never told beating a lady is bad,even at school I do as I please because my parents were sponsoring the school,my Nanny will always tell me don't let any girl step on your feet,they are your subject and they are to do your bidding,women are to serve",what touched me most is when he said "my father beats my mom in front of me, sometimes when my mom beats me my father gave me his belt to flog her",I was shocked and stood up the chair I sat then I asked him,"what if I had died,he said to me,"God forbid",then he told me that he went to see a therapist,I was amazed atleast he knew what he has done was wrong,then I told him that 1.he has realized his mistakes,2.he needs to forgive himself,3.he needs to lower his expectations,As he know, there is a strong stigma surrounding abuse, for both the victim and the abuser. then I told him I'll do my best to assist you,then he said to me that even his brothers beats their wives that if there's a way I could help he will be grateful.