CHAPTER SIXTY ONE
Feifei is in a daze.
With all the parchments scattered in front of him, all the rush request for salt, all the reports, they are set aside, left untouched.
Feifei went home with Yanyan yesterday despite Yuan's protest. Yuan insisted for Feifei to come home and was only grudgingly appeased when Feifei said he will return the next day.
And today's the day. Feifei will have to come home. Back to Shen's house.
Feifei can't get hold of his emotion. He just don't understand.
He was angry and hurt. He already decided "firmly" with great "resolution" that he will stay away from Yuan.
Far away from him.
He even bought a house from a far away village. Even tolerated to be neighbors with that haunted house.
Just to be far away. For him to be able to forget and move on.
For two long months, he has been holding back his anger, his hurt, all his pent up emotions.
He is done! So done with him!
But.
One look at Yuan, his resolve slipped away.
One kiss from him, melted his anger.
One defeated look from him, soften his heart.
What on the name of heaven is happening to him? Has he gone mad?
Are human hearts so fickle? So powerful that it can overturn judgment and reasoning?
If so, why are brains placed on top and the heart below?
Shouldn't the heart be up there in the head instead of the brain?
His emotions are certainly superior than his thinking. Feifei snorted in thought.
He thought the pain he felt for two months was excruciating enough. Enough to bury him alive.
But obviously, the pain is not enough for him to forget Yuan.
The pain is not enough for him to hate Yuan.
So, when will it be enough? When will he know it's time to let go?
Will he really be able let go or will he forgive him again?
Feifei felt sorry for all his careful efforts.
He even prepared his speech and ran all the hurtful words in his head. Memorizing all these hurtful words by heart.
He is ready to scoff and curse him!
To pummel his chest and kick him to kingdom come. He was all ready to hurt him too.
But.
What happened?!
He was stunned to silence. Like a fool he forgot his lines! He forgot his carefully constructed scathing speeches.
He even accepted his kisses!
Why can't he say no to him.
Why is it so hard to refuse him.
Is love such a foolish thing?
Will he just conveniently forget the two months of emotional torture and move on to their next spicy interlude?
If they go on being together like this, wouldn't it be more painful when they part ways again?
Feifei groaned in confusion.
When will he have the courage to tell him his identity?
Will he wait, take his time or just admit it?
Would the pain be less if the truth come from his mouth?
He thought he was smart.
But now he knows. He isn't smart at all. He is a complete demented fool!
With his heart accerating, his head pounding, Feifei felt like hitting the wall.
"Feifei."
Yanyan looked at Feifei with hesitant eyes. This girl. What's wrong again?
She's frequently going bonkers.
This...this is not a good thing, is it?
"Feifei.."
Feifei looked disconcerted for awhile then blinked at Yanyan.
"Yanyan...?"
Yanyan can feel goosebumps running all over her entire body.
"You..you don't recognize me anymore?" She whispered softly.
As if Feifei would be triggered to go bat crazy if she speaks loudly.
Feifei : ????
"What brings you here?"
Yanyan carefully observed Feifei's face for any sign of lunacy.
She thinks, its all because of the Great Devil. That's why Feifei is acting loony sometimes. Yanyan thought, convinced that her conjecture must be true.
"Its time to go home."
"Home....?" Feifei was bewildered. Its time to go home now? He just sat for a bit. He hasn't even done half of the work today!
Why is it, when your dreading to go home, time is so dreadfully fast?
When you want to go home early, time is agonizingly slow?
How can the world be contradictory sometimes?
Like what happened lately.
He bought alot of food last time since he went hungry when he forgot to replenish his stocks.
When he got a lot of food, he doesn't have the appetite anymore?
Isn't it crazy?! Sometimes he thinks the world loves to pick on him. Always teasing him.
Always against him.
Yanyan stared hard at Feifei.
"You...you don't know where your home is?" Yanyan asked carefully, uncertainty clear in her voice.
Feifei looked back at Yanyan with a puzzled face.
Is Yanyan okay? She seems out of it. Feifei wondered.
"Yanyan, are you okay?"
Yanyan : !!!!!!
Isn't Feifei supposed to ask herself that question?! Yanyan thought, incensed.
"Let's go home, Feifei." Yanyan snorted instead.
This foolish woman!
Seeing Yanyan about to turn around, Feifei called out.
"Yanyan. I'm going home today."
"Isn't that what I said? We are going home."
Yanyan wanted to stomp her feet in frustration.
She wants to pull all her hair in aggravation and scream at Feifei to wake up and make sense!
Staring hard at Feifei, Yanyan thought wildly.
Feifei won't pass on her craziness to her, would she??!
Feifei glanced at Yanyan with a weird expression on his face. Yanyan must have it hard lately. She seems to be really out of it.
Not minding Yanyan anymore, Feifei took his bag and walked to her. "I meant the home in Guhya Village."
Yanyan: ~oh~
They then walked side by side on their way to the gate.
"Feifei, is it because of the Great Devil?" Yanyan asked softly.
"uhm." Feifei decided to be honest.
"Do you really know him?"
"No. But I like him." Feifei sighed.
Not clearly knowing the person but liking him. Wouldn't that make him a blockhead?
Yanyan just looked at him but her lips tighten in disappointment.
Silence.
"What would that do? It would only aggravate their already humiliating situation! The bookkeeper wouldn't be that impetuous?!"
Feifei and Yanyan both looked behind them when they overheard their fellow worker's statement.
Hearing the name bookkeeper, Feifei has an idea what the woman was referring to.
Yanyan and Feifei looked at each other in understanding.
Then both of them mutually dragged their feet as they continued to listen to the latest gossip.