I pick myself up and lie on the bed.
I am in shock. I see that when I don't feel like my legs can walk and my hands are shaking so badly. I lie on the bed and try to compartmentalize like I do to deal with things but that doesn't seem to work so well right now.
Who was he? I didn't see my Trevor in the eyes of the man who just abused me. I have never seen anything like this and I think I am having a panic attack because suddenly I can't breathe. I try to sit up but I end up falling on the other side of the bed.
I put my head between my knees just like my mother taught me when I used to have panic attacks when I was little.
I know in my mind that this is not right. I have to tell someone to come for me. When I feel like I can breathe better now, I take my purse from the bed and I try to look for my phone but it is not there. I scramble to look for it, perhaps it fell but no, it is nowhere to be found.
