I fall on my knees too, on the same level as him, my hand reaching out to touch him but he pulls away. He sits on the floor a few feet away from me.
"I have tried hating you more than you can think," I confess, sitting on the floor as I look at my palms. My head hurts, my heart is aching, my whole body is physically ill.
"I have tried to eliminate your essence away from me, I have wished I would forget you that I have never met you and I don't know that you exist, but I have never succeeded. I always think about you in the morning first thing and when I close my eyes to sleep even without meaning to.
"I have hated you for a long time, but then I realize it's never really hate I feel for you. It's something else that words can't describe. I have loved you, felt a strong desire to kill you, and then missed you. But no matter how long I try to hate you, forget you, I have never been able to do that."
