"Bubba… Bubba, wake up. Mama made pancakes." I twist over to the person shaking my body awake. My eyes reluctantly open and find my younger brother's eyes sparkling at me.
"Kaede, what are you doing here?"
He giggles and pulls at my t-shirt sleeve. "To tell you, Mama made pancakes."
I sit up in the bed and look around me. I'm not in the Sasaki estate anymore, but back in my old room. Everything looks like it was before the accident. The real question is, why would Ma make pancakes? She always complains about sugary western breakfast.
"Because it's my birthday and what I wanted for breakfast." He giggles and runs out of my room.
I must be dreaming or something. I slide my feet into my blue slippers at the end of the bed. Weird, I've never had a dream feel so real before. That or I'm not dreaming, and my memory is going bad. Maybe Jiro allowed me to stay at home for my brother's birthday, and I just blanked out until now. I pause and think about the idea. Then I realize just how stupid I sound.
Outside my bedroom is the smell of oil and eggs. It doesn't take me long to get to the kitchen. It would probably take me a whole day to walk there in Jiro's house.
"There you are." My mother turns around with an oil-covered spatula in her hand. "Ji-Hoon told me that you weren't in the library studying yesterday. You have to study harder if you want good into a good college." She turns back around and flips some of the pancakes.
My mind goes blank. If Ji-Hoon is here, no, no, no. This is just a dream.
"Bubba?" Kaede stares at me with worry.
I grab his hand that's resting on the table. "Don't worry about me. I'm fine."
This isn't the type of rest I was looking for if I am dreaming. But, honestly, it feels like I can't escape anything anymore.
"You can't." A voice echoes throughout the room. It sends a shiver down my spine.
"What did you say?" I respond.
My mom looks back at me in the corner of her eye. "I didn't say anything, Mako."
"Not, I, never mind. It was nothing." Even my dreams are chaos.
I get up from my chair. "Hey, mom?"
"What?"
Come up with a lie. Anything would work. "I forgot that I told Ji-Hoon I would tutor him in English."
She stops cooking. "Mako, it's your brother's birthday." I know it's his birthday, but I can always see him again.
"You always say how important it is to study."
"Bubba, you said we would play soccer in the park today." Kaede looks up at me with tears welling up in his eyes.
I bend down, cupping his face in my hands. "I know, buddy. Can we do a raincheck?" His face doesn't change. "I'll show you some of the stars with dad's telescope."
His face brightens up. "Really?"
I nod my head. "Yup, but we gotta wait till the sun goes down and the stars come out, alright."
He nods his head violently and gets up from his seat. His little legs run to the living room, grabbing one of his toys from the floor.
I look over at my mother. She stares at me, disappointed. "Once you leave this house, there will be consequences to your actions."
I look at her, confused. Those words sound so familiar. I shake my head. I don't know how long this dream will last, so I have to make it count. "I'm sorry, Ma. I'll be back later tonight." She doesn't say a word to me and turns back to the stove. I leave without saying anymore back to her.
Outside, it's cold and windy. For being September, it feels like January. Ji-Hoon's house is only three blocks down the street, so it shouldn't take me that long to get there.
"Don't go there." The voice from before echoes again, but this time in my head.
"Who is that?"
No response.
"I don't have time for this." I pick up my speed. Everything around me feels like a blur.
I pass by the park in what feels like an instant, and soon I'm only a block away.
"You're not going to like what you see." The voice again.
"Leave me alone!" The words spill out of my mouth. I just need to see him again.
I turn the corner only to see a vacant plot of land where Ji-Hoon used to live.
"No, No. What happened? Where is he?" I run over to the lot and hop the small gate. There's nothing here.
"I told you not to go."
"Where is he?" He has to be here. It's my dream, and I want to see him. This isn't fair.
I feel a hand on my shoulder. My body reactively twists around, expecting to see Ji-Hoon. Instead, it's a woman who looks to be about seven years old than me. Her hair is a dark brown, like Jiro's. She has a soft face and a warm smile.
"Follow me." She extends her hand out to me.
I look down at it. "I have to find him." I put my hands in my pocket and walk away from the strange woman.
The only other place that I could guess for him to be is the school. My heart begins to beat faster. It's just a dream. What happened there can't happen to me again.
My body reluctantly takes me the way to Queenbrook High. I realize how much this place is falling apart as I look around. The corner store is no longer there, replaced by the black void of my mind.
It only takes seconds for me to get to the school entrance. My heart feels as if it's going to burst out of my chest. The gate is closed with police tape spread across the front. My fingers graze against the tape. Then with a sharp pull, it tears from the gate. The front entrance opens with a light push, and I make my way inside.
My feet are slow to move. It doesn't feel right to be here.
"Ji-Hoon!" My voice shouts out into the distance. It trails off into the emptiness of my mind. "JI-Hoon, are you there?" I wait for a response but am left with nothing.
I continue to the doors of the school. Inside, everything looks the same as it did six months ago. The bulletin board is filled with posters and papers of different clubs and important school year dates.
Suddenly the ground rumbles. I look up to find a place to get a sound footing. My eyes lock onto Ji-Hoon. He's standing about ten feet (3 meters) away from me. There is blood on his forehead, and his hands and arms are covered in cuts.
"Ji-Hoon." I try to make it over to him. "Just don't move. I'll be right there."
The ground starts to shake more violently. I quickly fall to the ground, unable to balance myself. I look over to Ji-Hoon, whose body looks even more damaged.
It's happening again. I have to save him. I push myself up from the floor, refusing to let Ji-Hoon get away from me. "Ji-Hoon, just hold on. I'm coming." I can feel myself crying. I have to save him.
"Mako." His voice reverberates in my ears. I stop moving, only focused on what he has to say to me. "You have to let me go."
I grab onto one of the nearby lockers to hold myself up. "No, I can't." My eyes go blurry from the pools of tears. "Please don't leave. I need you." I reach out my hand. He's not close enough to grab onto it, but it's the best I can do.
"I love you." His tender voice stabs through to my heart.
I close my eyes to let the tears fall on my face to see him better. However, when I open them, he's gone.
The ground stops shaking, and once again, I'm left in the sorrows of my failure.