This was so embarrassing! I was the one who told Victor to stay out of my business, yet ended up in his family's back yard...
"Hey there." He said with a warm smile while approaching us. His grey eyes held the smile, with a sweet shine mezmerizing me. Those Iron muscles flexed under the heavy beer cases held in each arm. He looked so fine...I was getting hungry for something other than the juicy meats sizzling on the range.
Every instinct told me that it was my last chance to run before my feelings get complicated. As I was thinking of a good excuse to dash without looking like a rude lunatic Sergy's arm fell on my shoulder. And with his other arm on Seta, he steered us towards the food, guiding me deeper into the belly of the beast. Victor followed us like a rear guard of a royal procession.
I settled to spend the day just listening in the background, mulling over my conflicted feelings. So, I was briefly replying or nodding in responses to questions directed at me. They assumed I was shy, so extra effort was directed to make me feel included. This irked me a bit, why is that everything I do and want is counterproductive? When I love and yearn for something, it gets taken away, in the most brutal way. Now I just can't keep it from being shoved into my face, when I just desire to avoid it. How can you love someone so much that your soul is about to burst struggling to contain it, but not really like him as a person?
This is so vexing!
It was hard to stay aloof around this merry band of brothers. It seems they were childhood friends, all about four to five years older than us. Apparently, there were more of them that weren't present, some still in the army, others were on dates. It was rare to see a close group of friends to consist of more than four to seven people. With all of them leaning towards dark clothing, acquired this sharp edge in the army, you could easily ping them to be a gang. To think about it, they will probably domineer local scene now. I secretly swore to myself to try not to piss any of them off, the retribution could be brutal.
Somehow, I got tipsy real fast. It was probably due to all the jello-shots in between beers. Note to myself that is not a dessert! As they say, alcohol is a social lubricant, and pretty soon I was part of the flock grazing on yummy goods the table held and mingling around. The day has passed in a dreamy haze, and as the twilight approached, I begun sobering up. When the giant full moon breached my view, taking up quarter of the horizon, I decided to head home.
I begun looking for Seta, either to go home together or to say my good-byes.
"If you're looking for Seta, she headed out with Sergy." Victor said emerging from the shadows.
"Ahh, well, tell her I left if she comes back." I said and wobbled to the gate waving everyone my farewell.
"I'll walk you home, it's not safe." Hearing him say this warmed my heart. He cares! I mulled it over, it was dark, I was still a little drunk. And before I could even reply, he was already holding my hand, leading me out while perfectly matching my pace. I was thankful for the slow pace. The air smelled delicious, the giant moon got higher on the sky, becoming smaller but also much brighter. Ironically, Victor was the one leading the conversation with me barely participating while my mind was still divided.
"This is my house, I'm building it myself." He pointed to two story square brick house. It already had all walls laid out in red bricks, and roof in place. He just needed to add windows, doors, and plaster the walls to make it habitable. He pointed to one of the windows.
"This will be the kitchen, where you could cook." He said excitedly.
"Will it require me to be barefoot and pregnant?" Sarcasm to the rescue. Somewhere deep down in my core I knew this dream was not mine, it never will be.
"What? No! You'll just make coffee… I'm a good cook." He got flustered.
"Well, that will require me to be the one to get up early." I teased. Seeing dismay on his beautiful face, I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Tipping him off I was joking. He smiled slyly looking away. How on earth did I get so much power in our dynamic?
We continued to walk in silence, it was quiet, but comfortable. I felt myself relax, and just enjoy the silver world illuminated by the moon flow by.
"You know, we can shave a lot of time by taking a shortcut through the cemetery instead of walking around." He proposed out of the blue, and continued with a dare: "That is, if you are not scared."
"Of course not!" With honor of my bravery on the line, I boasted. Putting all my faith into a dream where daddy came home telling me he'll protect me, the hug felt way too real in that dream right after his passing. I was beginning to regret it a little by the time we approached the cemetery's back gate, due to Victor's enthusiastic attempts to spook me. It seems my boldness was taken as a challenge as well.
I told myself there was nothing to fear, it's so bright outside, and not too late in the night. Sadly, when I crossed the threshold, it felt colder and darker. Victor didn't seem to have noticed, sucks to be the only empath here. Someone was up to no good, but since it had nothing to do with me, I had nothing to fear. I resigned myself to just look at the path and let Victor lead. He can take this win; I didn't care anymore as he chatted away thinking of things to spook me.
"…and there is someone there, all dark chanting…" I was pulled back as he stopped abruptly. He looked like he just saw death herself.
"What?" I asked getting nervous, no matter how strong he was, it meant nothing fighting the metaphysical.
"There is someone there…" I followed his gaze, praying for my father's word to hold true.
"Ha! That's just a wreath on a tall cross waving in the wind." I felt relived. "You had me, your win, you can stop now." I was sincerely impressed with his acting. Finally I could breathe again, I didn't realize I had stopped before.
"…no, there was someone there. All I could see was a black, misty shape, then it suddenly looks up and stares me in the eye…" he said in cold whisper, still staring in that direction.
Dread ran down my spine, I considered to pretend that he was still joking. But it was freezing now, the frosty chill was not a joke. We were, almost at the front gate. Should we run? No… running was meaningless if anything gets attached. My gaze fell on my maternal grand parent's joined grave and I felt reassured. Right... I'm not alone here. I forced myself to remember all the love and attention they've given me. This was hard under stress, and they both passed when I was under five, so my memories were hazy too boot. I was hoping that I didn't imagine the frost warming up a bit, hopefully I got their attention and it's safe to move.
"Let's go." I squeezed his hand and slowly pulled him away. Like a windup doll he followed my lead without any resistance, still looking in that direction. It was horrifying that he still didn't look away.
"… that's where my brother's…" he mumbled in barely audible whisper.
"What?" I said in a little bit too loud squeak out of fear while sharply turning my head to face him.
"Nothing." He slowly turns around and looks at me with sharp and sober light in his eyes.
"Let's go."
I didn't resist as he suddenly took the lead without much explanation. After we crossed the cemetery's threshold, we walked in sober silence the rest of the way. When we got to my house, he patted me on the head, leaned in and with a kiss on the check said: "See you soon." With that he turned around and begun walking.
I didn't have the energy to argue. I quickly ran into the house, zeroed in on the kitchen and grabbed salt shaker. I quickly begun sprinkling it over both my shoulders to make sure nothing got attached. And dashed under the covers, seeking imaginary safety.