Emerald's POV-
When we got inside August dropped my hand to close the door behind me and I fast walked straight towards the stairs and practically ran up them to get to my room. I shut the door and locked it before slipping my dress off and finding something more comfortable to sleep in. I grabbed a pair of fuzzy grey shorts and a yellow tank top before diving into my bed and rolling myself up in my blanket.
It wasn't a minute later that I could hear the sound of August's heavy footsteps and when they stopped I knew he was at my door. He went to open it, but when he realized it was locked he knocked softly on the door.
"Emerald let me in."
I didn't move. I can't let him in here there is no telling what will happen if I do.
"I thought we agreed to a truce?" He asked sounding a bit more agitated this time.
I rolled my eyes and sat up in my bed and looked at the locked door.
"If you try anything August I swear.."
"I'll be on my best behavior." He said lowly sending a chill down my spine.
I hate that he can do that without even being in the same room as me. I slowly got out from under my covers and walked to the door to unlock it. As soon as I did though August pushed the door open and wrapped me in his arms before picking me up and carrying me back to my bed.
"August! You're such a liar!" I yelled at him as he wrapped my blanket around us and held my tightly against him.
He chuckled deeply and when I noticed how warm he felt I realized that he was shirtless and only wearing sweat pants. I could feel his bare skin and it made my face and hands heat up. I tried to push myself from him, but it did nothing.
"Just let me hold you Emerald." He said through a breath as if he were exhausted.
"I hate you." I said to him, but I did stop fighting against him.
"No you don't and even if you did I still wouldn't care."
"Well you should care August because I have never had a say so about what happens in my life and this will only make me resent you."
He loosened his hold on me and allowed me to scoot far enough away from him to where we weren't touching. I was fixing to turn away from him, but I thought it'd be smarter to stay facing him in case he tried anything else. We both laid under the blankets facing one another until August finally broke the silence.
"What did you mean when you said you've never had a say so about your life?" He asked me gently.
"You know what I mean August. I didn't get a choice to stay with my parents, if I even have any. I didn't get to choose with what happened with Scout. I didn't get to choose to shift or not, I was forced. I didn't get to even choose to stay with you when I really really wanted to. And now I don't get to choose who I want to love? When will I ever get to make my own decisions?"
He stayed quite.
"Is this really how it's suppose to be? Is this what life is always going to be like? Are people always going to be making choices for me?" I asked him and I made sure not to mask my face either so he could see how much this is hurting me.
He moved his hand up and brushed some of my curls from my face and neck and stayed smoothing down my hair for a minute before he looked back to me.
"I feel the exact same way Emerald. I didn't get a choice in a lot of things either growing up and I know how unfair it feels. I'm sorry that I am another decision that you didn't get to make yourself because I would give anything up to have you choose me on your own." He said to me and for the first time I felt like August really did have true feelings for me.
Not because of anything else other then because of who I was and how he saw me. I reached my hand up and lightly traced his scar and he closed his eyes and moved more into my touch. When I went to take my hand back he let out a low growl from his chest and I smirked and couldn't help but roll my eyes.
"You're becoming a bit clingy ya know?" I said to him teasingly.
He flicked his eyes open and matched my grin with his own.
"You wouldn't believe how much I'm holding back from you.. or how much it hurts." He said the last part dropping his grin.
"How can you feel it already if you're not marked? I know the moon is almost here, but I still don't feel anything like that." I said to him hoping it wouldn't hurt his feelings too much.
"It's your scent I think. The closer the moon gets the stronger your smell is." He said to me as he continued playing with my hair.
"And you like my scent? People tell me I smell like smoke."
He smiled big at me and it made me look at him in awe. He's gorgeous when he smiles like that.
"It smells good to me, like you just walked out of a burning forest or something. And I don't like it Emerald, I crave it." He said to me and I could see some of the blue start for darken in his eye.
"Has anyone ever told you what you smell like?" I asked him curiously.
"No, not to my face anyway. Doesn't matter though my scent will be completely different to you then to everyone else. Just like yours is to me." He explained and I nodded my head and tried to ignore the fact that he said the word 'will' as if it were already decided.
"Will I be able to smell other males afterwards?" I asked him and I guess I should've thought about that first because soon there was very little blue left.
"Yes." He said coldly.
I put my hand up and ran my fingers through his silver ashy hair and he closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh before scooting closer to me.
"Do you only like me because you think I'm your Luna?"
He opened his eyes and sat up more and I took my hand back. He propped himself on his elbow and was looking down at me and started tangling his hand more in my frizzy hair again. His eyes were back to their normal color and he had a very calm expression on his face.
"I've been thinking about you ever since that night. I promise you there was not a single day that went by that I didn't think of you Emerald. I have always wanted to know you and to be in your life and maybe that's just because you're my mate and I can't help feeling that way towards you."
I nodded my head understanding the fact that it was only because of the mate pull.
"But I also think it's because I knew all those years that if anyone could possibly understand me, it would be you."
I felt a huge wave of flutters in my stomach and chest and couldn't stop my smile.
"You're lying." I said giggling to him and he smiled down at me and dropped his head down lower until his forehead was touching mine.
"I'm not." He said in that deep tone that I'm beginning to become addicted to.
"Stop doing that." I whispered to him.
He kissed my forehead and laid back on his pillow and I turned more to face him.
"You know eventually I won't be able to.. control myself fully." He said to me in a more serious voice.
"I know."
He softened his face and scooted his head closer to mine until our noses were touching.
"I could do it now and it wouldn't be as painful as it would be if I wait." He said to me in a very soft voice while he skimmed his fingers lightly up and down my arm.
"I'm not worried about the pain August. I can handle pain just fine remember?"
"Then what are you worried about my sweet girl? I would never hurt you. All I want is to be with you and to take care of you." He said to me lovingly and cupped my cheek and stroked it with his rough thumb.
"I'm worried I won't be me anymore. I'll be someone else who would act and do things that I normally wouldn't do. Im worried about you being in my head all the time and there are just some things that I don't want to share with you or anyone else." I said to him trying to be as open as I can.
"You don't think I'm worried about all of that too? Emerald there are things that I've done that I'm not proud of and I'm just as scared about it as you are."
I looked at him and sighed. There is just no way August has ever done anything wrong. Unfortunately that wasn't the case for me.
"You don't seem scared to me." I told him and he grinned and kissed my forehead again.
"I'm terrified."
I laughed a little hearing his serious he sounded.
"You're an Alpha. You're not scared of anything." I said in poor attempt to use a deeper tone like him.
He laughed and it was like this angelic music that filled the room and sent a smile to my face. I rolled over to my back to look up at my ceiling to put some space between our faces.
"That's not true. I'm scared of a lot of things." He said I looked from the ceiling and back at him.
"Really? Like what?" I asked him genuinely feeling curious.
"Well."
He scooted closer to me and lowered his head until I could feel his breath on my skin.
"I'm scared of not being able to protect my pack and not being the best I can for them. I'm scared that one day Scout will show back up or hurt someone else. But most of all I'm scared of losing you again."
I scoffed at him and smacked his chest with the back of my hand. He grabbed it though before I could bring it back and held it close to him.
"You didn't lose me August."
He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed my fingers before looking back to me.
"It felt like I did though."
I could feel myself become more and more comfortable talking to him. That warm fuzzy feeling was bubbling in my stomach when looking at him. I could talk to him forever and never get tired.
It was effortless really. He never once made me feel dumb for any questions I asked and was just so unapologetically honest with me. It was refreshing and sweet.
"You're very... sensitive aren't you?" I asked him.
His whole demeanor changed and I couldn't hold back the giggle when seeing the aggravated look on his face.
"I'm not." He muttered before kissing my fingers again.
"You're very hard to read sometimes." He said to me which kinda surprised me a little.
"I don't try to be, at least I don't think I do anyway. I just overthink things sometimes especially if it's something I don't understand fully."
He interlocked our finger tightly together and I had to hold my breath to keep my palms from burning him.
"I still would like to get to know you Emerald. Wether you're my mate or not doesn't change that." He said and I gave him a small smile and nodded to him.
"Did you think I was pretty? When you first saw me at work I mean. Be honest don't tell me some mushy bullshit because of that mate crap." I said to him and he let out a deep chuckle that vibrated the bed.
He leaned over and kissed my nose before wrapping his arm around me and pulling me to lay on his chest. He moved my frizzy hair over my shoulder and lightly traced his fingers up and down my bare arm causing goosebumps to scatter.
"I felt so awful about the fact that I couldn't stop thinking you were attractive."
"Why would you feel awful about it?" I asked through a laugh.
He didn't say anything for a minute so I picked my head up from his chest to look down at him. He was looking at me through the dark room, but I think could spot those untamable eyes in the darkest depths of the ocean if I needed to.
"I shouldn't have to say why. I think it's pretty obvious why." He said in a not so happy voice.
I gave him a weird look because I really didn't know what he meant by that.
"Because of the age difference?"
"No, because you are gorgeous Emerald and I am not good enough for you." He said seriously.
"You don't honestly believe that do you?" I asked him and he didn't say anything, but looked away from me.
I wasn't sure how I felt thinking that someone like him thought I was more then he was and that I was on a different level then him. He had all the same insecurities I had about myself being with him. Once again I felt something, that fluttery warm feeling in my gut. It was faint, but it was there.
I smiled widely at him and he turned his head back to look at me with a raised eyebrow.
"What?" He asked.
"You really are sensitive." I said wiggling my shoulders at him.
He smiled and pulled me up more on his chest to where my face was closer to his.
"Only when it comes to you." He breathed and I could feel his breath fan my lips.
He was looking right at me and I didn't think I just reacted and leaned down and placed my lips over his. His arms around me tightened and he moaned into my mouth and kissed me back harder. I parted my lips and he explored my mouth and swirled his tongue with mine. I went to pull back to break the kiss, but he only leaned his head up more to follow me.
I smiled against his mouth and kissed him one last time and thankfully he did let me break the kiss this time. He smiled up at me and I knew in this moment that I had just given into what he had wanted. I would most likely regret doing that in the morning, but it just felt like the right thing to do.
"If you tell anyone I kissed you I will deny it until the end of time." I said to him with a warning look.
He chuckled and nodded his head before making me lay back on his chest.
I laid there and listened to his heart beat at the same rhythm as mine. It was odd, but comforting at the same time and it wasn't long after when sleep consumed me.