𝐄lowen was frozen.
Her feet were like cinder blocks, weighing her down to where she couldn't move. She could barely register her mother's vice-like grip on her arm, or the words of the preacher man.
The human didn't acknowledge the pitying look the Alpha couple gave her, or the reassuring pats on the shoulder she had received throughout the day. Her grandfather kept an arm around her as people gave their condolences to her mother - but she didn't want their pity, nor did she want their sympathy - no.
She just wanted her dad.
Time just stood still for her as the funeral came to an end. The Alpha made a speech before the pack retired to their own homes, announcing that he and the elders would make a choice on who would be the next Beta.
Elowen paid him no mind, choosing to stare blankly at the ground.
"Come on Kid, let's get you home." Thomas muttered, a tight grip on his cane as he led her away from the fresh grave. "Your mother has to talk with the Alpha, she will be home later."
The girl could only nod mutely, unable to form any words as she held onto her grandfather's hand. At that moment though she could not feel the limb in her grasp - could not tell where she was stepping as she let her feet lead her instead.
Elowen nibbled on her lower lip as it wobbled softly, unable to do anything but suffer in the silent confines of her mind as she made the journey home with Thomas by her side.
"Do you think he was proud of me?" Elowen found herself asking a few hours later.
Thomas looked up to see the sorrowful face of his granddaughter. He could make out the tear tracks on her cheeks and the redness of her bottom lip from where she had been wearing it down.
"Your father?" He raised a brow and sighed when she nodded, placing the cup of tea down onto the table. They were on the back patio, looking out over the lake as the sun began to sit in the sky. It was peaceful, and quiet - just what the two needed after today. "I don't think he was proud of you. I know he was proud of you."
"What could he possibly be proud of?" Elowen hissed bitterly, rising from her chair. "Why should he have been proud of a daughter? A human one at that! I can't shift-"
"You're right."
Elowen paused her rant at the sound of her grandfather's voice. He was watching her with narrowed eyes, fingers tapping on the arms of his chair. "Excuse me?"
"I said you're right." Thomas repeated, head tilting. "You can't shift, and you're honestly not that fast of a runner."
"Well thank you for the vote of confidence-"
"I wasn't finished, Elowen." He interrupted her a second time, this time his voice was firm - sharp. "Yes, you lack these things, but you have something better." He jabbed a finger in her direction, "You're smart."
"Papa." Elowen sighed, but stopped when she saw the glare he sent her and chose to hold her tongue instead.
Thomas clicked his tongue and tapped his finger as he thought of the next thing he should say. "Your father had been bringing you to council meetings since before you could talk, and even then you never spoke - but you listened." He leaned forward in his chair, his finger seeming to come back and point at her. "You know the way the pack works, know the laws of the land, and the code of the werewolves like the back of your hand. Hell, you spent most nights discussing new plans for resources with your father more times than you ever went outside."
Elowen remained quiet, head tilting down as she bit her bottom lip, rolling the flesh beneath her teeth.
That changed however when she felt her grandfather's hand brush a lock of hair from her face. "Elowen Fae, your father was so proud of you - we are all so proud of you. Yes, you are human, but you have never let it hold you back." Thomas' eyes darkened as he sat back in his seat. "Do not let it start now."
The human let the words mull over in her mind. She knew he was right, while yes she was a submissive person, she hardly let anyone walk all over her. Elowen knew her worth and knew how - despite the fact that she was human - she mattered. Her parents had shown her how she was truly cared for throughout her life and even now, with her father gone - the girl knew she was still loved.
"Do you think the Elders will decide to appoint me as Beta?" The human asked after a moment of silence. Thomas hummed and ran his fingers over his chin in thought.
"Perhaps, but I will be honest with you Little Wolf, those elders are very traditional," Her grandfather paused and licked his lips before he continued. "They will not be too keen on having a female Beta, a human one at that. I would advise that you wait for your mother to get home and discuss it with her."
Elowen nodded softly, turning her attention back to the lake and the duo sat in silence - watching as the sun reflected off the water as it sat in the sky.
* * * * *
It was midnight when Caroline James got home and she did not expect her daughter to be sitting at the table - seemingly waiting on her.
"Ella, what are you doing up?" She asked with a tired sigh as she shrugged off her jacket. The older brunette's hair was wet from the afternoon's rain and her makeup painted black river's over her cheeks. "It's 12:03, you should be in bed."
The human only nodded in acknowledgement, eyes staying trained over one of the many papers that were scattered over the kitchen table (which Caroline just seemed to realize was there).
Elowen let her head sit in a palm while she wrote down things in a small notebook. "Just looking over some things." She muttered after a minute, earning a huff from her mother who was now right beside her.
"This is all of your father's notes from his safe." Caroline noted, grabbing one of the many documents. "Why did you drag-" Her face paled when she realized what Elowen was up to. "Elowen."
The younger brunette froze at the hissed whisper of her first name. Her mother only called her that when she was in big trouble or it was really important.
And from the way her mother's breath turned more harsh she decided on the former.
"Baby, you're not considering becoming Beta are you?" Her daughter's silence answered her question and she gave an aggravated huff, her hands going to her waistline. "Elowen!"
The mother knew she should have left it alone, she could see the quake in her daughter's hand as she wrote - they way her shoulders hunched and her eyes widened in a slight panic.
But she didn't.
"Why wouldn't I?" Daughter questioned mother as she rose from her seat - a heated look in her stormy eyes. "I am dad's only child - it is my right and duty to become Beta."
Caroline blanched at her daughter's hostility and held in an irritated growel. As Elowen had grown she and her mother had gone through some spats - leaving her father to be the mediator.
But he was gone now.
"And who put this idea in your head, hm? Was it your grandfather?" Caroline guessed, rounding the table in order to reach the fridge and her daughter was right behind her. "He was always filling your mind with foolish things."
"No, he actually believes in me, which is more than I can say about you!" Elowen countered, leaning on her fist against the counter.
Her mother spun around, shoulders tense and face set in a sneer. "That is not true Elowen Fae! I have always believed in you!"
"That's a load of bull!" The human hissed, finger pointing at her mother in rage as she carried on. "All my life you never let me do anything for myself - dad had to sneak me out to take me to meetings because you said I shouldn't worry about things like that. Alpha Weylyn let David and Maria attend them, and Luna Clara had no problem with it." Then Elowen paused, her face blank as she came to a horrible conclusion. "You never wanted me to be Beta."
"Of course I didn't!" Her mother snapped, eyes narrowed. "It would be too dangerous! You would have been dead by the first fight!"
"Dad was able to do it! I am just as capable." Elowen further argued, stomping her foot like a child, but at this point she didn't care.
Her mother gave a mocking laugh. "You're human Elowen!"
"And what does it matter!" She was met with another humorless chuckle. "You always told me that it didn't matter if I was human, that I could do anything a wolf could! What changed?"
"Elowen, you're so fragile compared to all of us. And you were young when I said these things - you were more concerned with stories and reading, not so much about Pack positions." Caroline sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I just want to keep you safe. You and your grandfather are all I have left. And if I lose you- my baby-" Her mother choked on a sob as she covered her mouth with her hand.
Elowen felt her rage mellow out as she embraced her mother - letting the older of the two sob into her shoulder. Even when she was mad at her, it pained her to see her mother cry.
The human blinked back tears of her own and rubbed Caroline's back in soothing strokes. "Mom, I'm not going anywhere - you have to have faith." She pulled away and gripped her mother's shoulders, making sure to lock eyes with the older brunette. "Please Mom, tell me you have some faith in me. That you believe in me just like dad did."
Caroline stayed quiet, her eyes blank and mouth trembling as she searched for her daughter's face. She let her hands reach up and allowed her finger tips to run over her features; noting the ones that reminded her most of her beloved Killian. And finally she just placed a kiss on her forehead and pulled away, a sad smile on her face. "I love you, but I have to keep you safe."
Elowen felt her heart shatter as her mother walked away from her and headed into the dark hallway that led to her room. Leaving her alone in the kitchen, surrounded by a storm of hurt and sorrow.
"Little Wolf?" The young brunette froze at the sound of her grandfather's voice. She was scared to turn around and face him, knowing she would break down and cry more - or he would scold her for fighting with her mother.
"Elowen look at me." His hand was on her shoulder now, squeezing it softly and the other was on the top of her head. "Come on Little Wolf, give me a hug."
And that was all it took for Elowen to be a crying mess in her grandfather's arms. Ugly tears trekked down her cheeks as she held onto him tightly. She begged for the goddess to give her the strength as she apologized for upsetting her mother.
But Thomas only held her tighter, fingers threading through her brunette tresses.
"You're okay, Little Wolf. Everything will be okay," He whispered in her ear, and Elowen could only hope that he was correct. Because at this point if her and her mother kept fighting, she feared the resentment it would cause.
"Just give her some time, Elowen - it's been a rough day for all of us." Thomas muttered.
'I know Papa.' Her eyes slipped shut and another round of tears left her eyes, although her cries had long since silenced. 'I know.'