Once upon a time there was a feathery boy called Gary Chen. He was on the way to see his lover/ enemy Kimberly Giantbulb, when he decided to take a short cut through Hyde Park.
It wasn't long before Gary got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his bag for his favourite toy, Daisy, but Daisy was nowhere to be found! Gary began to panic. He felt sure he had packed Daisy. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, he saw a cunning horse dressed in a green skirt disappearing into the trees.
"How odd!" thought Gary.
For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed horse. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, Gary reached a clearing. In the clearing were three houses, one made from turnips, one made from crisps and one made from lollipops.
Gary could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.
"Hello!" he called. "Is anybody there?"
Nobody replied.
Gary looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving Gary a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Daisy!
"Daisy!" shouted Gary. He turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"
The witch just shrugged.
"Give Daisy back!" cried Gary.
"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.
"At least let Daisy out of that cage!"
Before she could reply, two cunning horses rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Gary recognised the one in the green skirt that he'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.
"Hello Big Horse," said the witch.
"Good morning." The horse noticed Daisy. "Who is this?"
"That's Daisy," explained the witch.
"Ooh! Daisy would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the horse.
The witch shook her head. "Daisy is staying with me."
"Um... Excuse me..." Gary interrupted. "Daisy lives with me! And not in a cage!"
Big Horse ignored him. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."
Big Horse looked at the house made from lollipops and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from lollipops if I wanted to."
"That's nothing," said the next horse. "I could eat two houses."
"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Daisy."
Gary watched, feeling very worried. He didn't want the witch to give Daisy to Big Horse. He didn't think Daisy would like living with a cunning horse, away from his house and all his other toys.
The other one horses watched while Big Horse put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Horse. "Just you watch!"
Big Horse pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from crisps. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Horse started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of crisps, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.
"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Horse.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!
"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Horse never finished eating the front door made from crisps and Daisy remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Average Horse stepped up, and approached the house made from lollipops.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Horse. "Just you watch!"
Average Horse pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from lollipops. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After a while, Average Horse started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...
...and greener.
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.
"I'm not a bush, I'm a horse!" said Average Horse.
"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."
"No! Wait!" cried Average Horse, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the horse away under his arm.
Average Horse never finished eating the front door made from lollipops and Daisy remained trapped in the witch's cage.
"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Daisy."
"Not so fast," said Gary. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from turnips. And I haven't had a turn yet.
"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."
The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give him a chance. It's only fair."
"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the horses. He won't last long."
"I'll be right back," said Gary.
"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Daisy back."
Gary ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from turnips and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.
Gary sat down on a nearby log.
"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."
"I haven't finished," explained Gary. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."
When Gary's food had digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from turnips. Once more, he toasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, Gary was down to the final piece of the door made from turnips. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. He finished his final course. Gary had eaten the entire front door of the house made from turnips.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"
"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little boy won fair and square. Now hand over Daisy or I will chop your broomstick in half."
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
Gary hurried over and grabbed Daisy, checking that his favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Daisy was unharmed.
Gary thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Kimberly. It was starting to get dark.
When Gary got to Kimberly's house, his lover/ enemy threw her arms around him.
"I was so worried!" cried Kimberly. "You are very late."
As Gary described his day, he could tell that Kimberly didn't believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.
"What's that?" asked Kimberly.
Gary unwrapped a doorknob made from crisps. "Pudding!" he said.
Kimberly almost fell off her chair.
The End