It didn't take long for Jin to realize that the weight in his chest was 'sympathy'.
'At the age of 12… No, she might've been nurtured to be a killing machine even before then.'
They only exchanged a few words, but Jin felt that Yona was a young woman filled with emotions. Someone with many laughs and many tears.
However, her emotions were twisted somewhere.
In Jin's past life, she lacked more remorse than the Tona Twins after killing anyone.
To her, most people were just moving chunks of meat. She didn't even consider the infinite possibilities of a life to experience.
A monster.
But not a real monster.
Inside the heart of the Yona in Jin's past life—who lived in the shadows after being neglected by Anne—as well as the Yona who was currently stuck in a loop of laughter and tears were emotions that everybody else had.
Love for her siblings, fear of being hurt, the desire to make a friend, a small wish to play with someone.
All of those feelings were locked away.
Just because she had the potential, she became the most evil assassin in history.
'Haaah…'
Something hot and sharp climbed up through his chest. It ripped through his abdomen and strained his heart. It scratched at his throat, screaming to be let out.
It was anger.
Directed at the ones who killed his sister's humanity since she was 12.
Jin and his family.
"Are you mad because I stuck around you without telling you? I didn't watch you bathe or anything."
"It's nothing like that. Besides that, you were always beside me?"
"Yeah."
"The entire time?"
Yona glanced at Beradin and Dante.
"Hmm… I was about ten steps away from you for five hours max. This continued even after your frie—I mean, after those guys came."
It wasn't as if Jin didn't expect it.
Nevertheless, he was shocked after hearing it himself. He only detected that she was nearby thrice after coming to Samil.
Once was when Yona dropped the paper, and another was just a moment ago, when Yona and Owal were together.
The other was when he opened his Mind's Eye and dodged the executioners' attacks.
"Jin, am I scary? Or do you not like me?"
Jin shook his head.
"Not until a moment ago. Not now, though."
"Heehee!"
Yona giggled. Feeling a little better, she took a step closer to Jin.
"I also thought of the possibility of your death. However, it's true that I wanted you to grow. If you died, I'd be a little sad. Then I'd forget about it, and you'd be at peace."
Her words pierced Jin like shattered glass.
"Did you ever think that it was fair?"
"What is? Me watching you? I said it before, but I didn't watch when you were…"
"Not that. You've been treated like a killing machine since you were young. That's unbelievable and disgusting, even for a pureblood Runcandel."
"That's bad?"
"That's bad."
Yona tilted her head, as if she didn't understand.
"Have you ever killed someone?"
"That's not the problem."
"Heehee, I was born like this anyways. Don't be sad."
"What do you mean, you were born like that…?"
Jin stopped talking and fell into thought.
'It's true that the clan is inhumane, but the treatment towards Elder Sister Yona is incomparably disgusting and toxic. It's probably related to the reason why she's already more talented than the Leader of Nameless.
It was impossible even for Leader Owal to be in a room with Jin for hours on end. More so, observing Jin from a ten-step radius for twenty hours.
"Sister, are you a contractor?"
"Nope."
There was no god related to assassination or concealing footsteps, but the closest one was Solderet.
He asked because she had abilities that transcended human possibility.
"Then how are you able to make such feats? If your words are true, then you can basically kill everyone."
"You don't need to know. Hm… And there are some people I can't kill. A lot if I'm alone. If I have a planned team, then maybe I can count them with my fingers and toes."
In other words, there were only twenty people who could survive a planned onslaught. Although she didn't account for them escaping, it was still hard to believe.
"So you can't tell me?"
"You have secrets too."
Jin was about to deny her suspicion, but Yona looked at Jin's shadow.
As if she knew all about Jin's power over shadows.
'Does she know that I'm Solderet's contractor? Or is she just looking at my shadow?'
There was no need to ask.
Yona sensed Jin's spiritual energy. That was because she was scared of her own spiritual energy.
Jin would never know, but the power was constantly telling Yona to kill him.
Yet Yona ignored the whispers.
"You're making me flustered."
"Just think of it as my excessive love for my little brother. You wouldn't know how surprised I was when you came. Even the nice Eldest Sister Luna didn't come to visit me."
"You're making me sad too. Does Eldest Sister Luna hate you?"
"I don't think she likes me. I broke a few promises. No, actually, a lot…"
Jin drenched his handkerchief in water and handed it to her.
"Here. For the tear marks on your face."
Yona took the soaked cloth and wiped her face. Her eyes glimmered.
"I wish you appreciated me."
"We haven't spent enough time together to fuel such love or empathy."
"I don't have any of that, but I love you this much."
"That's because you have fantasies about me. And it's true that you tried to kill me. It would be a sign of love for you, but that was a threat to my life."
"Then what should I do?"
"I don't know."
'Give me the Thousand-Poison Antidote.'
He couldn't say that. He couldn't let her see his true selfish intentions. He didn't want her to offer him an excessive compensation for his measly affection.
He also couldn't grasp how to deal with their relationship.
He did feel sympathy for her, but hearing her story, even Luna gave up on her or kept her distance.
'Breaking a promise with Eldest Sister Luna means that Elder Sister Yona killed a family member before. If not that, Eldest Sister Luna wouldn't have given her such a harsh silent treatment.'
Sifting through his memories—both in his past and present life—when he was at the Storm Castle, Gilly often attended funerals of his cousins, uncles, and aunts. The cause of their death was never revealed.
At the time, Jin thought a distant cousin died, so he didn't pay much attention. Although they were cousins, he had never seen their face.
"Errrr, do I have to give death threats for you to love me?"
"That would make a normal relationship more distant."
"Then do you want the Thousand-Poison Antidote or something? Take that and play with me more. I already knew that my siblings would come to me only for that."
It would be a lie if he said he didn't want to nod.
However, Jin initially denied it. He wanted to request it after sorting out his relationship with her.
"No thank you. And I'm sure you don't want requited love from me. You do not exchange affection through those conditions. Even if you gave me the potion, my love would remain the same."
"UUUUUGH!"
Yona pulled her hair.
"What do you want me to do, then?! Are you saying I can never be friends with you? Even though I love you so much?"
Tears began to dribble down her cheeks again, and she began to shout desperately. Jin hid his bitter smile.
"The cadets aren't outside, right? I heard that a curfew was instated for two days for our fight."
"Yeah, no one's out there."
"Why don't we take a walk?"
"Heehee!"
He needed time to organize his thoughts. How he should treat his crazy sister whom he feels sorry for.
A path filled with moonlight. A relaxed night for the first time in the city of Samil.
"Too many destroyed houses."
"'Cause you broke everything. I wrote a hundred freaking pages of self-reflection. A little more this way and we'll get to this place I like. Visitors aren't allowed. Wanna go?"
"Sure."
For the entire walk, Yona blabbered on about something while Jin gave heartfelt reactions.
Thinking that this would be her last memory with her brother, she walked very slowly. Every step, Jin felt more and more regret.
After many paths that should've been filled with cadets, a green hill emerged. The location that Yona said was 'a little more this way' had been a two-hour walk.
"What's up there?"
"A flower field and cliff."
"A little scary when you say it."
"You think I'll push you off? That'll be so foolish of me. And you wouldn't die off that high cliff anyways."
"I was joking."
They hiked up the hill with smiles, and they saw a beautiful patch of wildflowers.
It was a flower Jin knew well: green roses. Just like its name, they were roses that were indistinguishable from weeds due to their tiny petals.
It was a common plant across the land, so it was often treated like a weed. It could be found anywhere, grew all year long, and was not useful in cooking either. It was just like a weed.
"Whoa…"
The moonlight offered beauty into the roses. Watching each and every petal sway in the wind, it felt a little eerie.
"It's pretty, right?"
"Yeah. I didn't know that green roses were a sight to see under the moonlight."
"Green roses are often viewed as weeds, but it's my favorite flower. It doesn't die easily even if you step on it or don't give it water. Even if it dies, a new flower blooms on top of it."
'The reason was…'
Jin swallowed his words and looked around. Yona plucked two roses from the ground and began to weave them together.
"If I do this, the petals spread apart and make a pretty shape. You get to see something new about them. It's harder than it looks, you know? If you force it, then the flower breaks, so it's a meticulous process."
Yona weaved the two roses together into a hook and handed it to Jin while giggling.
"Oh!"
Jin remembered something from his past life.
It wasn't the first time he received this little gift.
It was the first time in this life, but in his past life—back when he was treated like garbage even though he was a pureblood—someone always left these in his room. Two roses weaved together with their petals spread out.
He thought it was one of his servants, but Gilly insisted it wasn't her.
"Take this and let it go. Either way, you didn't die and opened your Mind's Eye…"
"I can't believe it was you."
"Huh?"
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