"That was a strong first step, Mr. Yakuto. To come to terms with something this traumatic, it is often best we start by remembering it." Dr. Creed, my therapist of 6 months, was visibly ecstatic at my progress.
"Can we end it for today Doc? I don't feel like doing anything else today." Recounting past events is normally problematic for other people, but since I have an eidetic memory I can remember snippets of things I wish would have gone away entirely.
With the doctor's permission, I left my therapy session and arrived at my car, but I didn't start it yet. That session brought up a lot of painful emotions and memories I would have to sort a little before starting my car. It's been a little over a decade since the events of that night, and I still haven't gotten over them. I mean, who would? If you saw your sister's decapitated head on your lap with a normal memory it would already suck, but I remember every little thing about her face at that moment. It keeps me up at night, taking turns with my mother's mangled corpse and my father's brain splattered all over me and the car.
But I'm fine, totally fine. Nothing is wrong with me, absolutely nothing.
After my family's tragedy, there was a funeral held using the little spare money my parents had and what little the rest of my family was willing to pitch in with. There wasn't any grand procession, no massive shows of compassion from my wealthy relatives, and the worst part of it all for them was me. I was the bad luck charm, no one would approach me to console me, no one would even give me a second glance that wasn't filled with anything warmer than liquid magma and poison. And the biggest question on all of their minds was what to do with me.
My parents had bragged about how smart I was, and a test done by my more well-off relatives showed my eidetic memory capacity. So now there was an unspoken fight going on both around and in each of my relatives, wrestling to have possession of the genius mind, and to not have the burden of the "bad luck charm". In the end, it was left up to my grandparents, and they sent me to live with my rich uncle in his mansion in Los Angeles.
Not even getting to say goodbye to Charles, I was rushed off as soon as the funeral ended. There was no mourning period, nobody cared how I felt, nobody listened to a single thing I would say, so I shut up. I stopped talking unless spoken directly to, did nothing but listen, and soon found something to take my mind off the event - academics.
I had always been good at them, for obvious reasons, but it was the constant distraction that I was seeking. My uncle seemed thrilled that I wouldn't be a moping mess, and readily spent some of his vast fortune to fuel my studies. I wouldn't complain, it helped me ignore the growing pain that happened because of their deaths. Every night that I woke up from a nightmare about them, I would dive into my studies. Every offhand comment from my uncaring uncle, aunt, and cousins about my "deadbeat" and "unworthy" family would dig me deeper into my books. Every waking moment I would spend as far from them as possible, and that was how I spent the first few years of my new life.
After a little bit of time, I started to become numb to those around me. I would ignore comments about my scar, grades, and lifestyle. I would often skip "family" meals and just eat in my room, which was only allowed because my uncle thought I was, "Paying back all of the ungratefulness your deadbeat parents gave to our family" by studying for his "gracious actions".
It was during the sixth year since the accident that I had a chance encounter that would change my life. For the first time in so many years, I ignored my daily studies and went for a walk. My uncle didn't argue because he was so shocked I had willingly gone outside instead of studying in my room. I don't know what came over me that day, but for once I'm glad I skipped my nonstop studying as I was hit by a bike.
I was mostly unhurt, but the rider of the bike was the most surprising thing about that encounter. He had blonde hair, a cheerful vibe, and I could practically feel the immense waves of energy coming from him. I had the strangest feeling I knew who this was, but I couldn't put my finger on it. That was until he introduced himself.
"Ah, shit. Sorry about that man, wasn't looking where I was going. You alright? Good. Say, I'm Charles St. Peters, nice ta meetcha." With his hand outstretched and a cheerful grin on his face, I remembered this exact thing happening all those years ago. He had run into me on our way to school and made this same introduction. It seemed impossible, he should be far from here, so how was he here? It was all so sudden, I grabbed his hand and pulled him into a hug, holding him tighter than I thought I would ever hold another human being again.
"Woah, what're you doing? Do I know you?" Quickly realizing what I had just done, I jumped away from him quickly, and with a slight quiver in my voice, I introduced myself.
"I'm sorry, you probably don't remember me, it was so many years ago. The name's Braxely Yakuto, we were friends back in elementary."
"Braxely? As in Yoke's Elementary School? That Braxely?"
"Yeah, that's me. It's been a while, Charl - oof!" With what I would have personally described as a tackle, Charles almost brought me to the ground from jumping into another hug. It had been so many years since I had been shown any form of affection that I just froze. Before I could do or say anything more, he let go and started spinning around me, pulling and pushing lightly to see me from head to toe. After he was satisfied, he let go, stepped back, and just kinda looked at me. Then he punched my arm, and not gently either. "OW, what was that for?"
"That was for leaving me without saying goodbye. Do you know how many days I spent thinking you were just on vacation still? It wasn't until we got the announcement from the teacher that you were no longer going to be around. What happened man?" I must have made a face because he quickly realized that it was nowhere near simple. "You know what? It doesn't matter. Here we are, together, and that's that. We have all the time in the world for me to find out what exactly happened. So, how has life been?" From here we talked for hours, and I smiled. I smiled a genuine smile, and that was something I hadn't done since the accident. We exchanged numbers, promised to meet up again soon, and I went home.
Ignoring any and all complaints from my wardens, I would continue to hang out with Charles freely, and it made it much easier when I learned we were going to the same university. It took a year or so until I was finally able to open up to Charles. Though it was the most somber I've ever seen him, it was only able to bring us closer. Soon after, he was able to break my shell a little bit, and he managed to gather a small group of friends around us. I was having a good time, hanging out, not having to spend all of my time alone and studying, but instead being able to watch anime or play games with friends.
And then one day, about nine and a half years after the accident, Charles introduced a girl to the group; and her name was Casandra. She wasn't the first girl to be brought in, and she wouldn't be the last, but there was something about her that I couldn't ignore. Maybe it was that smile that brightened my very world, or maybe it was the intellectual connection I felt with her. Either way, I knew what I was feeling, I'm not dumb, but I was scared to do anything. Not because of nerves, but because I didn't want to see the look of pity from telling another person about myself, least of all her.
It would have stayed that way if Charles hadn't locked me in a room with Casandra after I told him how I felt. Forcing us to talk and hang out together one on one, I thought Charles had doomed me. 'What if I slip up?' 'What if they escape?' 'What if she leaves?' These were all thoughts that raced through my head, and the only thing that kept me together was my impressive control over my emotions. All I knew was that I could not afford to mess this up, so I did what I know best and analyzed the situation. Little did I know that I would be so aloof while doing so, and so as I was formulating a plan to minimize the damage I would cause, Casandra spoke to me.
"As much as I would love to continue this staring contest, and believe me I could stare into your eyes all day, you look like there's something wrong. You ok?" Despite what she said Casandra continued to maintain eye contact; as if she was determined to dig out the truth from me.
"Uuhh… yeah, I'm great. Why wouldn't I be?" Her asking if I'm doing well sent a shock through my system, which confused me. Why would a simple question, one I've heard and answered before, affect me so much now?
"Because you tend to hide how you're feeling as if you're afraid of something." Even without a reply she moved forward and took my hands, sending another shock through me while making me unable to look away. "I won't make you tell me, and I don't expect you to. After all, we've only known each other for 2 months. But I am here for you, and even if I have to go in blind, I will support you the whole way through."
She was magnetizing in every sense of the word. Almost all of my five senses were given this intense feeling, and it was enough to push me over the edge of my control and finish the five senses. Without thinking, something I haven't done in who knows how long, I leaned forward and kissed her. I had only brushed her lips with mine for but a brief moment, but it was enough to make me forget all of my worries for that moment, all troubles burdening me for so long temporarily slipping away; as I gained my senses back I started leaning away to apologize and explain, but I got no further than the leaning part when Casandra pulled me back in and kissed me back.
As the kissing slowly became more passionate, I began to feel at peace; the accident was slowly melding into just another bad memory, and I wasn't hurting anymore. Of course, it couldn't last forever, and when we pulled away from each other, faces lightly reddened and our breaths a little more shallow than before, it all came crashing back. But I didn't care - I couldn't care, because I just found the one person that could give me peace; I found my rock.