I had ended things with Penelope, and I was feeling pretty good. Everything had gone smoothly, and I didn't have to do anything drastic. It was a good day… at least until the clone at the Burrow was summoned by my father.
...
"Red, come here, we need to talk," my father called out as he saw me coming down the stairs.
I was surprised to see my father so serious. It didn't seem like a bad kind of seriousness, like someone had died, but more like an important issue was about to be discussed.
I walked over to him, where he was sitting on one of the dining room chairs. My mother was busy with her own things not far away, and my siblings were either outside or in their rooms.
"What's up, Dad?" I asked him.
"Sit down." (Arthur)
Hearing his words gave me a bad feeling, but I sat down anyway. I looked at him and waited for him to start talking.
"Red... your brothers say you have a girlfriend, is that true?" he asked, though he already knew; he was just confirming it.
"Yeah?" I replied, with a hint of doubt. I didn't understand what that had to do with anything. The idea of my parents getting involved in my love life made me a bit... uncomfortable.
"Yes... Your mother and I thought this day would come much later, with your... former personality... well..." (Arthur)
"I didn't expect much from my old self in that area either," I responded casually, to show him I wasn't offended. He seemed to think otherwise, as he spoke slowly and cautiously.
"Well, it was a surprise, but we're happy for you. Finding someone special is important, but you shouldn't get too involved in it just yet. You're still young, and it's hard to know if the love you feel is real. I'm telling you this so you don't feel bad if things don't turn out the way you hope. The girl you love now may not be the one who will be with you in the future." (Arthur)
"¿Okay...?" (Red)
"Heh, love is complicated. Take your brother Bill, for example. There was a girl he liked, that girl... what was her name?" He began to ramble, drifting away from the topic he had called me for.
"Emily Tyler," my mother answered from a distance.
"Yes, her. She was a very pretty girl, unmatched according to Bill, but her personality… ugh… let's just say your brother learned that not every crush is a sign of true love..." He continued until he noticed my silence.
I didn't respond; I just looked at him and let him talk. I wasn't sure what he expected from me or what he wanted to achieve with this conversation.
"Well, getting back to the point. Now that you've found someone you like, we need to have a certain father-son talk… not for right now," he emphasized, "but so you'll know for the future. You see… do you know the difference between a man and a woman?"
"... Wait!" I stopped him, realizing where this was heading. "Is this going to be a talk about sex?"
"Yes… it seems you know something, but it's time we had this talk, even though it's happening sooner than we expected." (Arthur)
"No...!" I said involuntarily. The talk Tina gave me was already more than enough for this lifetime, and the idea of having another one… and with my father, just made me feel even more disgusted. I didn't want to go through that again.
"Red, this is necessary. There are things you need to know. I know it might be uncomfortable, but everyone has this talk at some point. Your brothers had it, and they felt just as uncomfortable as you do, it's normal. Even your younger sister, Ginny, though she's younger than you, your mother has already given her some information so she's aware." (Arthur)
"Yes… but no…," I continued to reject the idea.
"Red… it's necessary," my father insisted, even more seriously and firmly.
"… Can it at least be Mom who talks to me about this?" (Red)
"What?" (Arthur)
"Can it be Mom who gives me this 'talk'?" (Red)
"No. I'm the one who gives this talk to all your brothers and you, while your mother takes care of Ginny." (Arthur)
"..." (Red)
"Why do you want your mother to be the one to talk to you about this?" he asked, just as my mother peeked in from a distance to listen in as well.
"I prefer that the person who talks to me about 'that' and relationships is the one who's in charge in their own relationship, the one who's in control." (Red)
"Your mother isn't in charge of our relationship," he stated with some vehemence.
"Are you saying you're above Mom?" (Red)
"What?! NO!" he responded nervously, noticing my mother's gaze as she waited to see how he would answer. "No one's in charge of anyone in our relationship, no one is above the other, we're equals," he said with sweat on his forehead.
"Your father is right. Neither of us is above the other. That's how it should be. You should never think you're above the person you love, just as she shouldn't be above you. That's how a good relationship works," my mother said, coming closer and placing her hand on my shoulder.
"Fine… but I'd still like it if Mom were the one to talk to me about this."
"Why?" my parents asked in unison.
"Well… even if Mom isn't the one 'in control'… she always seems to know what to do, she has everything under control… it makes me feel more secure. That's why I'd like to learn about relationships from her, so I can also know how to keep everything under control…," I said, clearly lying.
"This…" (Arthur)
"It's okay, Arthur, leave it to me," my mother said, and at my request to be alone to avoid making the conversation even more awkward, she led me to the kitchen to talk while doing her usual chores. My father left to give us our space, though I wasn't sure if he was offended by my refusal, but it didn't matter; now I had to face this uncomfortable situation.
The talk was tolerable, though I had to do quite a bit of pretending, acting as if I didn't know much and had my doubts. My mother took it upon herself to explain everything necessary, though not as thoroughly as Tina would have. Unlike the old lady, my mother had more filters.
I was very tempted to make a few jokes at certain moments, the kind that would be hilarious in another context, but I couldn't risk doing that with my mother without facing serious consequences.
The conversation ended with her reminding me once again that this information was for the future and that I didn't need to worry about it now, but rather in a few years. If only she knew... Anyway, I knew she left some things unsaid, or maybe she would address them later, but there was nothing I could do.
...
Now, after one of the clones endured that horrible talk for the second time in this life, I found myself in a Muggle neighborhood, standing in front of a house, well-dressed and holding gifts in my hands.
I rang the doorbell and waited for a woman to open the door. I recognized her immediately.
"Good afternoon, Mrs. Granger." (Red)
"Oh... Red, right?" she responded to my greeting. She recognized me too; it was hard not to. But she seemed more interested in confirming my name than my identity.
"Yes, Red Weasley. I came to introduce myself properly," I said with a bit of nervousness, a mix of genuine and feigned. It's easy to be a bastard, but this was the opposite and not my area. "I brought some gifts... I wasn't sure what to bring, so I brought a little bit of everything."
I extended my hands with the gifts I had brought: a basket of fruit from my farms, some exotic drinks purchased from a merchant, and some sweets and chocolates. The latter might have been less acceptable, considering that Hermione's parents were dentists, but I thought, 'To hell with it, everyone loves sweets.'
"You didn't have to go to the trouble; there was no need to bring anything," she said as she took the gifts I pushed into her hands. "Come in, it will be a pleasure to have you and get to know you formally," she added, reminding me that apart from the encounter on the train, the other time we met I was disguised as 'Red Klos.'
I entered the house and found both my girlfriend and her father in the living room. I had sent Hermione a message shortly before arriving, in fact, from the moment I was at her door. When she saw me, she was visibly nervous and embarrassed.
They invited me to sit on one of the sofas, and that's when my performance began. I introduced myself as Red Weasley, a wizard who was now dating their daughter.
It was embarrassing and uncomfortable, especially for Hermione. No girl like her would expect a good reaction from her parents upon learning she had a boyfriend at 12 or 13 years old.
Contrary to expectations, Hermione's parents didn't react harshly. It seemed that Hermione's attitude towards me and what they knew from her letters had given them a good impression of me, which helped in that moment.
They asked me many questions, and my acting skills came into play once again. I mixed truth with lies in such a way that even Hermione didn't doubt my words, though I did leave out some details that would have worried them, like the level of danger in certain events, such as the troll or the Philosopher's Stone.
I recounted everything... My previous emotional state, my desire to fit in, meeting Hermione, getting along with her, wanting to experience love now that I was free of my emotional block... I'd be lying if I said I didn't use my skills to try and win them over during the process.
It was mentally exhausting, but everything was going quite well. Even when I started to feel more comfortable, I showed a bit more of my true self, with some jokes and quips that, while not always the most appropriate, gave them a fuller picture of who I am. That, along with my previous accounts (and lies), helped them better understand things like "Red Klos." Yes, I was a strange boy, but trustworthy.
Time passed, and near the end of my visit, Mrs. Granger called Hermione to help her in the kitchen with some snacks they were preparing. In reality, it was something else. Hermione was pulled away by her mother so I could be left alone with her father, who spoke to me in a much more serious tone than before, though not intimidating.
The conversation wasn't much different from the previous one, but I understood what Mr. Granger was getting at: he wanted to find out what this 'relationship' was, where it was heading, and what wizards' views were on the matter.
When the women returned, I had exchanged enough information with her father. In the end, I could conclude that, regarding our youthful relationship, Hermione's parents were not entirely opposed. Fortunately, they had no idea about the deep kisses we'd shared, as their stance might have been very different.
As it was getting close to the time for me to leave, the four of us were chatting cordially. Hermione, still a bit nervous, was sitting next to me. She had been as stiff as a board most of the time since I arrived, but she relaxed over time, especially after speaking alone with her mother in the kitchen.
While Hermione's parents conversed with each other, she leaned in to whisper in my ear how happy she was that everything had gone so well and how much she had feared this meeting. Everything was going so smoothly that perhaps my mischievous side kicked in, wanting to end things with a grand finale, even though I knew it could backfire.
"ARE YOU PREGNANT?!" I shouted in shock at Hermione's whisper.
"WHAT?!" Hermione's parents exclaimed in unison.
The reaction of Mr. and Mrs. Granger was something I'll never forget. It was as if their eyes opened in slow motion to the point where their eyeballs might fall out. And let's not even talk about Hermione, whose expression looked as if she was on the brink of death. She was so pale that I wouldn't have been surprised if she had fainted on the spot... In fact, I think she was unconscious for a brief moment, even with her eyes open.
Hermione alternated her gaze between her parents and me, while her mouth moved without being able to produce any sound. The next thing I experienced was a direct punch to my chin from the girl before she ran off to her room.
Her parents seemed to say something, but the punch had left me a bit dazed, plus I couldn't stop laughing. I got up from the floor and straightened myself symbolically before looking at my in-laws, who were trying to contain a mix of emotions, mainly confusion and fear.
"Sorry, I just had to do it... things were going too well, and I got nervous, hahaha," I laughed a bit more to emphasize that what had happened wasn't real. "But I've caused enough chaos, and it's time for me to leave before I get kicked out... By the way, have you had 'the talk' with Hermione yet? You know... that talk. If you haven't, please do."
"..." They looked at me, even more puzzled and with worse expressions than before.
"It's not what you think," I hastened to explain. "But I think you should if you haven't yet... And if you already have, give her another one. When my parents found out I had a girlfriend, they gave me the talk, and it was one of the most embarrassing, uncomfortable, and irreparable moments of my life... and I want Hermione to suffer it too. Yes, I know, I'm selfish... but if I had to go through it, she should too," I said before disappearing with a grin befitting a mischievous imp after a well-executed prank.
And so, the clone that was in the Grangers' house dissolved into a pool of blood that left not the slightest trace on the carpet. I don't know how bad things turned out after my prank, but I wasn't going to stick around to find out. Now it was Hermione's problem... though I'm sure she won't hesitate to complain to me later, and this may not be the last punch I receive from her over this.