(Hi no Kuni Capital – Daimyo's Court)
While Hiruzen sat on the balcony of his palatial quarters, waiting for the planned meeting with the Fire Daimyo, Asuma rested along with his father, chain-smoking his way through the supply of cigarettes he'd brought. They were meant to last him well past the duration of the mission, but at the rate he was going, they would be gone by the time he made it back to Konoha.
It was amusing for Hiruzen to watch his son 'subtly' worry, but he needed his chief bodyguard as cool as possible, "Asuma, you may believe tobacco smoke is more delicious to breathe than air, but you really should cut back," Nicotine poisoning was a thing.
Asuma stopped and turned to face his father, rolling his eyes at the smirk on his face, "That's rich, coming from you of all people," He had a point though, and Asuma chose to put out the cigarette in an ash tray full of butts from earlier.
The Fire Daimyo's palace was peaceful. It brought back good memories of Asuma's own days as one of the Twelve Guardian Ninja. It had been a hectic time, but while he was there, he'd grown fond of the lifestyle. As a father-to-be, he couldn't really live that way any longer. Nowadays, perilous danger wasn't an opportunity to prove himself or test his abilities. It just meant that there was more of a chance that he wouldn't be going home to his child and wife-to-be.
It wasn't that Asuma expected much trouble from this meeting. It was what this meeting signified – the increase of danger to come, and the fact that it would put a bullseye on Konoha, the place that was supposed to be their safe haven. Wars would do that.
Iwagakure had a bone to pick, as did Suna. The samurai were coming in order to directly share their issues with the Fire Daimyo himself. There was no way this was going to end without a negative outcome in at least one of these directions, and after what had already happened, the only thing more negative that could still occur was the declaration of war.
Asuma pulled up a seat near Hiruzen, "So, level with me here, because we haven't talked about it," He'd spoken with Shikamaru, trying to prepare him for the worst, but he himself didn't know just how bad this could be, "What exactly are we looking at here?"
There was no need to sugarcoat what was going on. Asuma was aware of most of it, "The situation is dire, I'm afraid,"
That was not what Asuma wanted to hear, "Dad... tell me we can get out of this without going to war," He requested. There had to be a way to salvage things, wasn't there?
Asuma thought Hiruzen looked too calm and assured to be thinking of such a conflict. But this was nothing new to the old Hokage. He had seen many wars start over the course of his life – had been in the position of leader for the beginning of most of them. With that came a measure of experience on how to handle such stress; much more than Asuma had.
"My son, as of now, I can't even confirm for you who Konoha will be at war with."
XxX
(Twelve Guardian Ninja Barracks)
The large tower that served as the home for the Guardian Ninja was a bit imposing at first glance, but once inside, Ino could feel just how comfortable the entire place really was. It was very lived in – an obvious trait, as it had served as the home for the Guardians for longer than there had been hidden villages.
Ino just sat and took in the atmosphere. This was the place where her current boyfriend and her other teammate had spent three years of their lives. In the hallways surrounding the open courtyard where most training took place, it smelled faintly of sweat and blood.
She tried to imagine what it would have been like, to be away from home for so long, risking her life with a motley crew of people that she had to get to know from scratch. She wondered if she could have done it, had the roles between her and either Naruto and Shikamaru been reversed.
Of course, judging from how they lounged so casually, as though they were returning to a summer home, it was hard for her to gauge just how being at the Capital had affected them, as opposed to living in Konoha.
Naruto and Shikamaru had taken up seats in the main lounge with their former leader Sadao, catching up with each other and inquiring on the whereabouts of their other former comrades.
"You put Akira with Kotoko?" Naruto asked after hearing about the assignments keeping the Guardians busy, "That sounds like a terrible combination," Shikamaru nodded in agreement, repressing a shiver at how troublesome he assumed that would be.
A chaotic punk of a genjutsu specialist in Akira, along with an air-headed homicidal musician in Kotoko. Between the two young women, there wasn't a single element between them to balance out the other. Woe be to wherever they had been dispatched to work, unless they had been sent on a strictly search-and-destroy mission. The two Konoha chunin could only imagine.
Sadao waved the entire concept off, "It couldn't be any worse than all of the times we put you with Kotoko."
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow in uncertainty, "I doubt that, because I don't remember Nobuyuki handing out a bunch of demerits to Naruto for disorderly conduct-."
Sadao cut him off right there, "-What are you talking about? Naruto got demerits all the time!" He stood and walked over to a bookshelf in the corner where several large tomes rested. He grabbed one and lugged it back over to the table, setting it down with a heavy thud, "We can clear this up right now. You want to bust out the codex?"
Shikamaru stared down at the massive book before his eyes drifted back up to Sadao, "-Disorderly conduct for unsanctioned disfigurement and homicides."
Sadao realized that he didn't have a leg to stand on in that department, and sat back down with a chuckle, "Fair enough."
"The point is, Naruto could keep a handle on Kotoko... usually. Akira will just encourage her. They'll just feed off of each other."
While the Guardian leader and Team Ten's strategist continued to converse, Naruto reached over and pulled the codex to himself and Ino, offering it to the girl as a measure of entertainment, "Wanna take a look?"
Ino curiously brushed the cover, which had a beginning and end date that coincided with a several month period somewhere during Naruto's tenure in the Guardian Ninja, "Are you sure I can? I mean, isn't this top secret, or something? In fact, are we even allowed in here?" Both Naruto and Shikamaru wordlessly pointed to the sashes they still wore that marked their status as former Guardians, "That doesn't mean you're still authorized personnel! You both quit!"
"We didn't quit. Our contracts expired," Shikamaru specified for Ino's benefit.
"You still don't work here anymore," Ino argued with a sigh, knowing it was useless in the end.
Despite what she'd said, the mind-walker wanted to take a look. Though Naruto had been very forthcoming with the life he led under the Guardian Ninja, there were many things she hadn't thought to ask, or that had likely slipped his mind. The fact that there was at least one book with all kinds of details that could tell her more was too juicy to let pass.
Sadao eventually got tired of the indecisive war going on inside of her head, "Seriously, Naruto's girl, you can look at the codexes. I mean, yeah, they're after-action reports and personnel complaints, but this is public record. We don't get copies of the really important stuff. Have at it."
Naruto pulled up close to Ino and threw an arm around her as she prepared to dig through the codex, "The good stuff is tabbed," He pointed out.
Ino rolled her eyes at the multiple little marks sticking out the side of the book, "Almost everything in here is tabbed," She replied, barely able to contain her excitement.
Naruto grinned at her as she began flipping through the codex. He assumed she was trying to find something about him, "Heh-heh, yeah. My stuff is in orange. Shikamaru's is green."
"There's a lot more orange than green, Goldie."
"And this surprises you in any way, shape, or form?" Sadao remarked.
Ino spared a moment from to deadpan a look at Sadao. He couldn't see her, so she made sure her tone matched her face, "No, just pointing things out, o'captain, my captain," Ino replied in a slightly mocking fashion.
Sadao leaned back before pointing directly at Ino while addressing Naruto, "I like her," He took the time to appeal to Ino directly, "As field commander of the Guardian Ninja, feel free to ask me any question that codex doesn't answer. Specifically, questions that may or may not potentially embarrass my two former juniors here."
Ino knew a golden ticket when she saw it, and jumped all over the offer, "Okay... I know this won't be in there," She made it a point to look at Naruto with an expression of deep mischief, one that filled him with dread, "Who did Goldie first sleep with while he was here?"
Naruto almost couldn't believe the words that had spilled out of her girlfriend's mouth, "...W-What?"
Ino leaned into him and wiggled against him, teasing him as an appetizer for what was to come, "Come on. I told you already, you knew what you were doing way too well the first bunch of times we got together. Granted, you did have to learn how to tailor it for me personally, but still, someone absolutely taught you what to do before you got to me."
Naruto scowled and looked away, refusing to dignify her with eye contact, "Ero-sensei was here all the time. I could have picked it up from him."
His attempts to deflect and divert were denied by Ino, "The fact that you didn't just say that you did, and said that you could have means that you didn't," She looked over at Sadao and answered an unasked question, "I'm a professional interrogator," In other words, the wrong person to try and keep anything from.
A shine came to the dark surface of Sadao's sunglasses, "Oh-ho! Didn't see that coming! You're fucked now, Naruto."
Naruto growled and pointed across the table at Sadao threateningly, "Fuck you! Don't you dare say anything!" He demanded.
The blind Guardian Ninja captain shrugged and leaned back lazily in his chair, "You could always do it yourself. What do they say about relationships and honesty...? Or being open...? Or whatever old shite?"
Ino held her hand up and shook her head, "No-no-no, leave it out there. I want to 20 questions it out of him," She said, watching as Naruto simultaneously tried to get as far away from her as he could while still holding her, "Have I met her?" She found something in Naruto's physical reaction that gave her what she was looking for, "Mmm... that's a no. Is she older than you? Did you work with her?"
Shikamaru shook his head at the couple's display, "The worst part of this whole thing is, she could read his mind, but she doesn't even have to," He said to Sadao as an aside, "Every answer is all over his face to her."
Sadao laughed openly at this, "Now I really like her," Anyone that could amuse him at the expense of one of his friends/comrades was someone he enjoyed keeping company with, "The answer actually is in one of these books, by the way."
Ino went wide-eyed and began digging through the codex in front of her. Naruto's face turned red with embarrassment, "You asshole!"
Sadao laughed and tried to pacify Naruto before he could come across the table and assault him, "Calm down. You were here for three years. There's no way she's going to get through all of the codexes you're in before you guys have to leave."
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow as he watched Ino peruse the codex with remarkable vigor, "If I were you, I would not put money on that."
Sadao lifted his glasses to wipe tears of humor away from his eyes, "God, I missed having you two around. Do you know how hard it's been trying to replace you both? A genius and a goddamn jinchuuriki. Where do you just find people like that floating around?"
Well, yeah, they didn't have Naruto, but they had someone that had jinchuuriki abilities, in a way, "Sora still works here, doesn't he? Or did he go back to the Fire Temple?" Naruto didn't remember Sora's contract coming up anytime near around theirs.
"A fight with Sora when he's losing his shit is still nothing compared to a fight with you when you lose yours," Sadaou still remembered the time Naruto went on a tailed beast rampage near the capital. The amount of damage he did before Jiraiya managed to wrangle him had been very eye-opening, so to speak, "You jinchuuriki are scary. What kind of psycho would go after one of you on purpose?"
XxX
(Kaze no Kuni – Near the Western Coast)
Without Temari and Kankurou around to get in the way, Gaara was able to bring the full breadth of his power to bear against the man who referred to himself as Uchiha Madara. It didn't matter if his claim was true or not. Even if Madara himself was the one fighting, to go against Gaara in the desert was nothing less than a suicidal proposition, no matter who you were supposed to be.
The only problem was, no matter what, Gaara couldn't get ahold of him.
It was like fighting a projection, a hologram. Several times, Gaara tried to break a genjutsu that wasn't on him, because it felt like it was the only explanation as to how Tobi kept avoiding him. It was frustrating, and the only thing around for Gaara to take those frustrations out on, he couldn't make contact with to punish.
Still, wave after wave of seemingly endless desert churned back and forth across the rocky beachside area, with the intent of making the Akatsuki member its victim. And yet, Tobi regarded it as an annoyance, and not much more.
"Well, Gaara, it seems that we are at an impasse," Tobi remarked during a lapse in Gaara's seemingly never-ending assault, "None of your attacks can touch me, and your sand won't allow any of my attacks to touch you."
True enough. Tobi had steadily been trying to probe Gaara's defenses throughout their fight, but never committed to any major attacks. He had been studying the jinchuuriki for years. There was little that he didn't know about his targets. Any massive jutsu he could utilize against Gaara would be a waste of chakra. No, he had another plan.
For Gaara, however, the plan was simple – win the fight, "It doesn't matter what kind of trick you're using to dodge. Eventually it will run out, while my sand is endless," The redhaired jinchuuriki said, "This is my domain, and this is where you die."
As much as he believed this, as much as history led credence to Gaara's claim, Tobi was not concerned. He had schemed years for such an encounter, and at this point, things were beyond the point where Gaara could do anything to stop what had occurred.
"Haven't you noticed?" Tobi said, trying to cue Gaara in on the situation, "The sand is moving, yet there's no wind. Neither of us are moving. You're not controlling it. And isn't it feeling lighter?"
Gaara's eyes went wide and he mentally dictated his control over more amounts of sand than his safe amount to try and feel just how much there was around him, "What did you do?"
"Only what I had to," Tobi replied before Gaara attempted to blast him with the sand he had gathered into his possession, "At the rate things are going, using our surroundings themselves like an hourglass, I would say you have five minutes," Tobi held up one hand, all fingers fully extended, and laughed, "Five minutes to defeat me."
Was it a bluff? Something was definitely off. Gaara could feel it. Whether it was the hubris of his enemy taunting him, or not, Gaara wasted no time. He unleashed the full measure of his control over the landscape's sand that was left… and true enough, compared to the beginning, it wasn't much.
A bead of sweat rolled down Gaara's face as he managed to scrape the bedrock by pulling the sand he needed to make his move. He'd been thinking too big, but that was okay. He still had his sand; his sand that would always protect him.
Gaara lost sight of Tobi with his previous attack, only for his sand to stop a hand reaching for his throat suddenly from the side. Gaara turned his head to see Tobi and reacted quickly, "Sabaku Sous-."
Tobi didn't remain solid, going intangible and passing through Gaara's sand trap and Gaara himself, though behind him, he carried a barbed chain attached to both arms. Tobi himself passed through Gaara, but the chain did not. The metal dug itself into Gaara's chest and neck, yanking him off of his feet; off of his feet, and out of the dimension entirely.
Gaara substituted himself with a Sand Clone to escape, and regained his footing, only to find himself far from home, "Where is this?" He asked, his voice echoing.
Tobi had taken him to a dark, endless void. There was no sign of Kaze no Kuni anywhere in sight. The sands and nearby beaches he had been fighting on had been replaced with countless rectangular prisms of various sizes and arrangements.
Casually seated on one of these prisms, Tobi watched as his prey attempted to do his best to get his bearings, "'Sabaku no Gaara is invincible in the desert,' they say. You have so much faith in your sand," He said, "I wonder... just what you have left to offer when there is no sand."
This was it. Only one other time in Gaara's life had he fought someone that had outclassed him in any way – Uzumaki Naruto. But even then, he hadn't fought the battle from underneath. He had been the dominant figure that had to be overcome, but this was not the case. That realization filled him with an unfamiliar sense of dread.
Tobi chuckled and dropped off of his elevated seat to land closer to Gaara, "Don't be afraid. All isn't completely lost," He said, reveling in the uncertain look in Gaara's eyes, "...You can actually hit me now."
The weight of the gourd on Gaara's back was a comfort to him at a time when he had little to none.
XxX
On one of his clay birds, Deidara flew along with Kakuzu above the Hi no Kuni countryside. This temporary gathering of unfamiliar Akatsuki partners was only for transport purposes. They had been given separate tasks related to the same order, but it would all take them to the Capital city.
Kakuzu looked at the passing treetops and rivers with a measure of disgust. He had never particularly liked Hi no Kuni, "Seeing this country from the air just reminds me how little things actually change," He commented before addressing Deidara, "So, what do you think about the plans of our illustrious leaders?"
"I'm just here for the fireworks, un," Deidara said, admiring one of the small clay sculptures he'd brought to life with his chakra in the palm of his hand, "The Fire Daimyo may be a prissy noble, but he thinks those Guardian Ninja of his are an ace-in-the-hole."
Kakuzu scoffed at that notion, "It's always been that way, and without any good reason. This generation of Guardians is the softest yet," He groused aloud. None of the current iteration of the Guardians had a decent bounty worth his time, "They're overworked and understaffed."
"So Konoha will probably do something to respond before they do," Deidara mused, "What if the Hokage himself sticks his nose in?"
Kakuzu shook his head at the notion, "They won't do that," It was too big of a risk to send the head of state, even when dealing with S-rank criminals, "Sarutobi will stay back to guard the daimyo. He'll send his toy soldiers out to try and throw a wrench into things."
They would need all the luck they could get with that. Deidara wasn't concerned with his end of the plan, "What about the jinchuuriki?"
Kakuzu's green eyes cut toward Deidara sharply, "You let me worry about that."
That was fine with Deidara, "There's no need to be touchy, man," It meant he only had to worry about blowing things up, which was all he really felt like dealing with. Still, failing wouldn't sit well with their leaders, even if neither of them were responsible, "And you're sure Hidan will hold up his end? He can't kill the backup, you know."
Upon being reminded of his annoying, absent partner, Kakuzu felt another wave of anger roll through him, "He may be an idiot who isn't afraid of dying, but if he screws up… well, Madara and Pain can do worse things than killing him, and he knows it," Immortality wouldn't save him from either of those men, "Alright, I'm getting off here."
"Good luck," Deidara lowered the bird so that the descent would be from a survivable level. He cheekily bid him farewell with a wave.
Kakuzu scoffed. Luck. He had to be kidding, "I've been doing this since before you were born," He quipped as he dropped from the bird, "Enjoy yourself, bomber man."
Deidara definitely planned to. Everything was already in place, "Oh, I will. It should be a real show."
XxX
(Meanwhile – With Naruto – Hi no Kuni Capital – Daimyo's Court)
As the samurai were expected to arrive at any time, the court was prepared to receive visitors. Even as the sun began to lower, guards patrolled and drilled around the grounds, while Team 10 took the time before the intended summit meeting making sure their equipment was set, just in case hostilities broke out. Nothing would happen until the next day, but there was no such thing as being too prepared.
Ino took the time to catch up on some beauty sleep in one of the rooms, while Naruto and Shikamaru relaxed in a plaza not far from the Guardians tower.
Naruto sat on a large, ornate fountain, going over his sealing tags and explosive tags while he had the chance, "You would think that the daimyo would have waited to call this kind of meeting for when the rest of the Guardians were here. Then again, I don't think I ever got a handle on that guy."
Shikamaru chuckled. He had never been a fan of most of the nobles at the court, and even the daimyo himself had plenty of faults. But now that they weren't working for him directly, a few of his traits were amusing, "He probably still considers us his guys, or something. That, or he thinks your whole one-man army thing is enough to protect both him and the Hokage in case something kicks off."
The thought was amusing; one of the greatest shinobi ever to live being helpless without them, "As if Hokage-jiji needs us to protect him," Naruto said.
"You never know," Shikamaru commented, "Kage have been assassinated at things like this before – knock on wood," He tried to say to offset a jinx, "Crap, there's no wood around."
The pair caught sight of Sadao approaching with a large, dark-skinned man with no shirt, his face obscured by a wicker helmet on his head. The Guardian leader clapped the massive figure on the back, a massive smile on his face as they approached, "Well-well-well, boys! Look who's back from his mission in time to catch you two!" The large figure silently waved in greeting.
Naruto's eyes lit up and he jumped to his feet to run over and give the hulking monk a massive hug, "KENTAAAAAA!" He exclaimed happily. His arms weren't able to fit all the way around him, so he squeezed what he could, "Holy shit! You got bigger! Way bigger! How do you even do that?"
Sadao let out a snort, "Lifting weights and eating. He's the reason you got bigger when you lived here. What kind of question was that?"
"I was showing that I was excited to see him, you dick," "I shot Ino a mental buzz. She'll be here to meet Kenta in a minute or two. This is so awesome! How you been, man?"
"I've been well. It's been quite a long time, hasn't it?"
The amiable response had an unforeseen reaction. Naruto's grip tightened around Kenta's waist. Without much else warning, he lashed out.
"Genshi Kujo (Atomic Extermination)!" Naruto lifted Kenta off of the ground and bridged himself back, flipping Kenta over and slamming him on top of his head.
The vicious throw forced Sadao into action, "Whoa! Naruto! What are you-?" As he moved to support his fellow Guardian, he found himself frozen in place, captured by the shadow of his former comrade, "Shikamaru?"
From the position where he'd landed on his neck, Kenta groaned in pin, "What... the-?"
"Kenta doesn't talk while the sun is out. Ever. Not a word. Vow of silence," Naruto said darkly, slowly pulling out his machete, "...You attacked him at night, didn't you?"
Instead of answering, or defending his case in any way, Kenta rolled over and swung his monk's spade at Naruto. Naruto quickly drew his machete to clash against Kenta's own weapon.
As Naruto and Kenta fought one another, members of the court began to flee out of fear. Sadao, still frozen in place seethed angrily at this apparent betrayal, "You two had better have a damn good reason for this," He said, "Raiton: Kettoudama no Chouwa (Lightning Release: Frantic Sphere of Harmony)."
A perfect visible sphere of electricity expanded from Sadao's body, with bolts of energy rippling out, snapping in Shikamaru's direction. He had to let go of the shadow paralyzing Sadao's body and take to dodging in order to keep from being electrocuted, 'Didn't expect that. His range with that jutsu is wider than it was before we left.'
The short conflict came to an end when Naruto cut off one of Kenta's arms at the forearm. Sadao stopped in place as Naruto twisted in place and subsequently impaled Kenta through the center of the chest with his follow-up movement. There was blood; lots of blood, and then there wasn't.
As Kenta's body dropped to hit the ground, it morphed, losing size and mass. His entire form changed, from the clothes and skin color he'd arrived in to a nude, white-skinned plant-like being.
His rage at being betrayed forgotten, Sadao could see the change through his artificial sight jutsu, "W-What is this?"
By this time, Ino had arrived to see her boyfriend run a transformed plant-man through the chest, "Oh. Ew, Goldie," She reacted in disgust to the sight of the inhuman creature on the ground, "Gross. What is that, and does it have to be naked?"
Naruto was down by its side, confirming his kill and checking it over, "I've seen this before, in Iwa," He said as he poked and prodded at it, "Sasuke killed a weird plant-man thing. Apparently, it turned itself into me."
"Did it not realize that you and Sasuke think about killing each other even on good days?" Shikamaru asked trying to bring some levity to the situation.
Sadao wasn't in much of a mood for jokes, "That wasn't some Henge! That was... perfect," He said, "It felt just like Kenta. It moved like him. Its chakra was just like his."
To fool Sadao, who had some of the most powerful and precise sensor abilities Naruto had ever seen. Even Sasuke admitted that he hadn't been able to tell the difference in Iwa until it acted differently from what he'd expected. And since Naruto had actually seen this before, under similar circumstances...
Shikamaru knew nothing good could come of this. One plant-man was just the beginning of it, almost guaranteed, "...What do you think the chances are that this guy isn't alone?"
Sadao's mouth fell open, "...You don't think the court was infiltrated... do you?" He knew the answer to this, however. When it rained, it poured, "Of course they were. The Guardians were," He admitted begrudgingly, "People from the court travel all over the Elemental Nations all the time, and they're way softer targets."
"Better safe than sorry?" Naruto offered lamely, "But how are we going to actually find 'em if they are here? None of us could sense anything was wrong."
There was no way they could go through the entire court person-by-person to try and weed out potential sleeper agents. Even if they had the time, how would they manage it? Distinguishing the fakes from the genuine articles took more than what they had.
As the group brainstormed, Ino figured she would attempt to try and take matters into her own hands, literally, "Maybe our friend knows something we can use?" She said, marching over to the Kenta-impersonator.
Sadao raised a skeptical eyebrow behind his sunglasses, "Um... this thing's kinda dead, honey."
Ino smiled grimly, stooping down by the plant-man's head, "I know, which means I don't have long," She said before taking a deep breath, resting her fingertips on the sides of its head, "Shinda Kokoro no Tanda (Dead Mind Dive)."
Naruto and Shikamaru had no knowledge of the jutsu Ino had activated, and stepped back in surprise when her eyes began to glow bright blue. Sadao wasn't privy to what they were, "Hey, I can't see. I just sense a lot of chakra moving. What's going on?" He asked.
"Mind shit," Naruto said, staring at his girlfriend's eyes in intrigue.
Sadao glowered at the vague explanation, "What mind shit? He's dead. You can't read a dead man's mind."
Shikamaru followed up in support of Naruto, "Apparently, you can, because she's absolutely trying it."
Sadao blindly felt his way over to Ino and set a heavy hand down on her shoulder, taking her out of her trance, "Oi, mind-girl?"
Ino snapped back into reality and quickly sounded off about it, "Oh, damn it! I have to start over again?" She turned her upset gaze to Sadao, "What?"
"How long will this take?" The leader of the Guardians demanded to know, "It's kind of a matter of national security."
Ino shook her head, frowning down at the plant-man corpse in her grasp, "I don't know. I don't even know if it will work. Reading a living person's mind isn't the same thing as trying to read a dead body. Not even close. This is definite 'desperate times, desperate measures'."
Under normal interrogation circumstances, no matter how powerful a person's mind's defenses were, since they usually knew what you were after, the information was near the front of their mind. It was like trying to dig out a splinter underneath the skin. You knew where it was, it was just a matter of how difficult it was to get out without breaking it off further.
To try and read the mind of the dead... there was a reason that it wasn't a reliable technique. Since the brain was no longer functioning, there was no way to coax an individual to force the information you were after closer to the surface. You had to dig. Dig through countless worthless memories and stubborn thoughts. It could take hours... days... weeks. The older the target was, the more thoughts they had to sift through.
...Plus, there was only so long that the brain would be good to use. Ino was on the clock.
"Right," Sadao smoothed his hair back in exasperation, "Well, we need to get word out. Shika, you mind coming with me?"
"Yes," Shikamaru replied before both Naruto and Sadao stared him down, "Fine, I'll go."
Naruto pointed his thumb at Ino as she continued trying to dive into the dead plant-man's mind, "I'll hang back with Ino-chan while she does her thing," Someone had to watch her back since she couldn't just stop without losing any progress she'd made.
With that, the four of them separated into their two groups. The summit with the samurai couldn't even begin before things started going wrong.
XxX
(Tetsu no Kuni)
Guren smirked in satisfaction as she watched shinobi under the Otogakure banner tend to Orochimaru's bidding. Yet another village had fallen at their hands. More prisoners were being taken to fill the quota for her master's artificial jinchuuriki experiment.
It was a more accessible version of Orochimaru's Cursed Seals, one for the lesser folks that couldn't survive the real ones. It gave a remarkable power boost and some of the powers of a jinchuuriki.
...All it took in exchange was the human ability to reason and the right of free will. As nothing more than tiny copies of the Sanbi, they were under Orochimaru's full control. The power in Yukimaru's body to influence the Sanbi was invaluable to Orochimaru now that he had taken it over for himself. Every day he was finding new ways to innovate with the power of the Sanbi at his disposal.
And so, she found Orochimaru making notes in a scroll while under guard by what Guren 'kindly' considered disposable members of their entourage. Of course, in her mind, most people were disposable in relation to herself and Orochimaru.
Stopping at a respectable distance from her lord, Guren stooped to one knee and bowed, "Orochimaru-sama, we're almost finished up here. We can leave at just about any time."
"Excellent," Orochimaru said, closing up the parchment and setting it aside to gift her with a smile, "Prepare to move on the moment everything is complete," Guren stood, head down with her hand over her heart, yet let her eyes stray to the rolled up scroll, something Orochimaru noticed, chuckling upon discovering this, "Hmm, you're a curious girl, aren't you Guren?"
Guren temporarily froze up, hoping that she didn't offend him, "I just wonder what's important enough for you to come here for," She said with distaste for the cold climate and intrusive samurai they constantly had to contend with, "I know you could take over this miserable country. We have more money than a hidden village like Suna or Kiri. We've got plenty of forces spread out all over the Elemental Nations. Someone like you deserves to be recognized for what you are."
Orochimaru hummed dismissively at the thought of taking over Tetsu no Kuni. He had more or less done that with Ta no Kuni, and it had bored him then, "I have no interest in deciding the lives of insignificant people, or mediocre shinobi," He declared, "A waste of time. I have my own aims, and I have splendid individuals like you to focus on."
Guren accepted his flattering explanation wholesale. Orochimaru could do what he liked, and whatever that so happened to be would come with clear benefit in time. She had followed him for this long, and most of his actions had come out with Otogakure in a better position. Sure, there had been some setbacks, but the fact that these setbacks hadn't done them too much damage was even more of a credit to him.
Following Orochimaru had been the greatest decision she had made in her entire life. She'd had nothing before him, and now the world was in front of her, as long as she made herself as useful as possible.
Speaking of people making themselves useful, Karin approached. Guren didn't particularly like her, mostly because Orochimaru kept her around a lot due to her sensor abilities. She got too much of his attention; attention that could have been spent on Guren. She was the capable fighter after all. All Karin could do was act tough in front of the weaklings. As far as Guren was concerned, all Karin was good for was to find out something was coming, run from it, and patch up the people who actually fought against the danger.
Orochimaru towered over her in a foreboding manner, despite the smile remaining on his face, "Are they still following us, Karin, my dear?"
Guren snickered when Karin visibly shrank back, as she should have, "Yes," The bespectacled redhead said, her eyes drifting toward the direction she could sense Jiraiya's party approaching from, "I think they're aware we know they're headed our way, but they don't know how."
Orochimaru sauntered past Karin, hand on his chin as he contemplated what he wished to do next, "Well... poor Jiraiya came all this way. It would be a shame to send him home without some kind of souvenir," He looked Karin's way with sharp, demanding eyes, "You know what to do."
"Yes, Orochimaru-sama," Karin said before heading off to tend to Orochimaru's wishes.
"What now, Orochimaru-sama?" Guren asked, not wanting to be left out if there was anything that needed to be done
"You will be with me," Orochimaru told her, making her heart lift at the thought of working with him directly, "I believe it is time I say hello to an old friend," After all, it had been so long since he had seen any of his old teammates.
XxX
(Kaze no Kuni – Near the Western Coast)
It had been quiet for far too long. Kankurou and Temari had moved far away from Gaara's intended battlefield as requested (i.e. demanded), and awaited their brother's return. Only, he didn't return. Minutes dragged on, and the large clouds of sand they'd seen in the distance vanished.
Eventually, enough time had passed without any clear signs of combat that they had to venture back to check on him. Finding nothing at all was more frightening than if they had come across the fight still in progress. There was nothing. No blood, no bodies, no weapons left in the sand, nothing that would give them any clue as to what had occurred, not even footprints or a trail.
It was eerie. Uchiha Madara was dead, but it did seem as if his ghost had come back to spirit away their brother. What was worse was that he had appeared to have gotten away with it.
"Gaara!?" Temari called out, utterly beside herself, "GAARA!?" No answer came, no matter how loud she yelled. The sounds of her voice echoing in the open air only served to drive a creeping fear deeper into her chest, "Damn it, Kankurou, why did we leave him alone?"
"He would have killed us," The black-clad puppeteer reasoned weakly. Temari was quick to jump all over him for that.
"No, he wouldn't have. He's not like that anymore," She replied, with a small measure of spite. Gaara was still a dick, but he was much less homicidal than he used to be. Both of them knew he didn't mean even a quarter of the threats he sent their way, "He's our brother, and he's accepted that for a long time now."
"Okay, then he wouldn't have been able to go all out," Kankurou said, walking over to Temari, setting his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to make her feel better, "We would have gotten in his way. You know we would have."
They weren't weaklings, but compared to Gaara, they weren't a match. Anyone that could contend with him to a level that they could take him on in the desert could utterly stomp them. That knowledge did nothing to offset any ill feelings on Temari's part, "And now he's gone."
She had to choke those words out, almost through tears. Gaara being taken meant he was almost as good as dead. Jinchuuriki taken by Akatsuki never broke out. Not on their own.
Kankurou clenched his fists, "We'll get him back. Kumo got their jinchuuriki back when she was taken. Konoha got theirs back from Iwa."
Kankurou's sentiment was appreciated, but the situations weren't the same. Temari knew that. Kumo had requested help from Konoha to retrieve Nii Yugito from Akatsuki's clutches, and even though Konoha had gotten Uzumaki Naruto back on their own, there were serious differences between that and this.
Despite the fact that they stood in the desert sun, it felt very cold for the two siblings.
XxX
(Amegakure no Sato – Pain's Tower)
Konan hardly reacted when Tobi appeared from one of his portals inside their primary seat of power, nor when he dropped the unconscious body of Gaara onto the floor, "You managed to capture him," She observed.
"Was there ever any doubt?" Tobi said, dusting off his hands, allowing flakes of sand to fall to the ground, "It will take longer than before to remove Shukaku without Kisame and Itachi here to help. Deidara, Kakuzu, and Hidan are still on their mission, I would imagine."
"It doesn't matter," Konan said, going to grab Gaara. After all, someone had to drag him to the ritual room and get things prepared, "You, myself, Zetsu, and Nagato should be able to perform the technique on our own."
Tobi chuckled to himself, "Indeed. Does that mean that Nagato has replaced the Paths that he lost against Orochimaru? I would imagine there are plenty of candidates to do their service for 'God'."
Konan ignored the underhanded jab at her oldest living friend. They still needed him. But whenever Nagato decided that Tobi had outlived that usefulness, Konan would take great pleasure in helping to get rid of him.
When Konan didn't rise to his slight, Tobi decided to move on. The cause was more important than pride to the Ame Orphans, "In any case, we're one step closer to our ultimate goal. We can begin the extraction at once. I would imagine by the time we're done, there will be another jinchuuriki in our possession."
XxX
(Hi no Kuni – Daimyo's Court)
Shikamaru and Sadao managed to find the Fire Daimyo's location with haste, arriving outside of a grand hall under guard by a contingent of soldiers. They allowed Sadao past after a quick check of credentials, but Shikamaru was kept out by crossed spears.
"Are you serious?" Shikamaru asked, eyebrow twitching in annoyance.
Sadao turned and shrugged in response. The guards were doing what they were supposed to, "You're not cleared to go in, man. You know the drill. What do you want me to say?" Shikamaru quickly relented, as he did indeed know the drill. He had, after all, worked there for three years of his life, "Just wait out here a minute."
"Fine, whatever," Shikamaru grumbled, "...Troublesome..."
With that, Sadao went into the banquet room where the Fire Daimyo and much of the court's upper crust nobles were gathered. Sitting closest to him were the Hokage and Asuma. As far as personal protection went, even Sadao could admit there weren't any others better suited to be by the ruler's side in case something happened.
"Daimyo-sama," Sadao said, bowing to the man who paid his living wage, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but there's something important going on."
The Fire Daimyo spared a smile to Hiruzen as he answered, "Important enough to interrupt just as I sat down to celebrate with an old friend?" He replied to Sadao before he could believe he took offense to anything, "It's fine. I jest. I know you're doing your job. Now what is the matter?"
Sadao stood from his bow and turned his head around the room suspiciously, "We have strong reason to believe that the court has been infiltrated," He revealed. It could have been just about anyone. Conversely, it could have been none of them. There was no way at the moment to tell.
The Fire Daimyo's spine stiffened, straightening his proper posture even further, if possible, "Infiltrated? By whom?"
Despite opening his mouth to answer, the Guardian-on-call didn't have everything he needed to properly inform his employer of what they were dealing with, "It's more like a 'what' – I think. Maybe a bunch of 'whats', now that I mention it."
"Speak clearly, boy. What is going on?"
That was the problem. None of them knew quite yet, "I... don't know. But Naruto killed a plant-man masquerading as Kenta," Sadao said, "It wasn't a Henge. It was a perfect copy. None of us could see or sense the difference. The only reason we discovered him was off of Naruto's hunch."
Upon hearing of Naruto, the Fire Daimyo's demeanor brightened, "Huh. I knew I liked that boy," He was a busy man, and hadn't had time to greet either of his former charges since they'd arrived, "Hokage-dono, are you certain that I cannot convince you to lend me the services of Naruto-kun and Shikamaru-kun for another few years?"
"I'm afraid he's too valuable to let leave again, Daimyo-dono," Hiruzen said with a small smile before the severity of the situation reared its head again, "Are you certain you have been infiltrated?"
"I'd transform to show you what it looked like, but I'm blind, so I have no idea," Sadao said, "If there's one around, there has to be another somewhere. Kenta isn't even that important in the grand scheme of things."
But he was a Guardian Ninja. That would have given him next to free reign over the premises, if he had lived long enough to take advantage of it. Then again, there were other people in the court with similar privileges. People that hadn't just arrived from a distant assignment just that day.
Asuma looked over the nobles gathered in the room with a scrutinizing gaze, "Well, this is your turf, kid. What do you suggest?"
There hadn't been much he and Shikamaru could think of as a plan of action on the way to the banquet room, "Until further notice, we suggest we keep the Hokage and the Daimyo under isolated guard. The same for the Samurai Head when he arrives. We haven't come up with a quick way to determine enemy agents, so we're going to have to vet people the old-fashioned way."
All of the nobles in attendance began to murmur about possibly being accused of treason, but they could stuff it. Any complaints against Sadao doing his job could be leveled against the Fire Daimyo once he allowed the interrogations.
As Sadao looked the Fire Daimyo's way, the man himself nodded his consent, "See to it that you find this interloper, Sadao-kun. Start with me if you'd like," There was no frivolity or room for dissent in his tone. This was an order, meant to be followed by all in attendance.
Sadao had to hide a vicious grin as the nobles' grumbling all went silent. Good luck complaining at that point, as it wouldn't have been the smartest idea to go against the man who ran the country.
Asuma stood and prepared to move the Fire Daimyo and the Hokage from the table, "Okay, I'll get the two VIPs here tucked away, and you can get started shaking trees and seeing what falls out. Go ahead and grill me now if you need to as well."
Yes. There was a reason that Asuma was a legend amongst the Guardians, "Outstanding. Hold that thought," He said to his predecessor before turning to address the party-goers, "Alright, attention, ladies and gentlemen of the court. If you would be so kind as to come with me and the soldiers outside. Just a few questions and we'll leave you to the rest of your evening in peace. Please know that you are not alone. Every personnel member will be accounted for and interviewed."
Thankfully, everyone was willing to comply easily enough.
One of the people in the banquet room seemed to contemplate something while falling in line with the others, eventually making a decision, "Eh, screw it," Away melted his robes and ornate accessories, his hair and skin-color. Instead, it left behind an exact duplicate of the dead plant-man outside.
Sadao's guise of professional restraint and manners dropped immediately upon spotting the enemy in the flesh, "Oh-ho, didn't see that coming!" He exclaimed with a dangerous grin, eyebrows raised above his sunglasses, "Can't say I'm not pleased though. Really didn't feel like looking for a hay-colored needle in a haystack. Come here, bitch. I've got a mind-walker to introduce you to," The Yamanaka girl would sort out any secrets he was hiding.
Before Sadao could make a move, the plant-man took a step back defensively, "Hey-hey-hey, there's no need for that. I'll talk. I'm just here as the messenger to begin with."
"Okay, friend," Asuma offered, "What do we call you?"
The plant-man seemed surprised that anyone cared. Normally his master and the original told them where to go and what to do, with no care toward them beyond that, "Oh, we don't have names. Just call us White Zetsus."
Asuma accepted that that, continuing his cordial discourse with the plant-man, "Well, White Zetsu, anything you'd like to tell us? Otherwise we're going to do our level best to force it out of you?" He closed with a small threat.
White Zetsu easily relayed his message, "There are bombs hidden all over the palace grounds and in the Capital itself," He said, much to the vocal horror of the nobles, "If anyone tries to evacuate the city, boom."
"Calm down!" Hiruzen said, to hush the frightened chatter once he noticed sweat bead on the Fire Daimyo's brow, "What is it that you want here? To tell us this, your higher-ups must require something."
White Zetsu smirked, "Akatsuki wants the Kyuubi jinchuuriki,"
Hiruzen closed his eyes and sighed. Of course, it was Akatsuki. Well, at least it was a terrorist group they knew happened to be after them instead of a sovereign shinobi village making an attempt on them at the meeting. It was a silver lining on a massive grey cloud.
Sadao had to hold back laughter, "Your bosses must be stupid if they think that Naruto's going to roll over and let anyone take him.
White Zetsu wagged his finger in a chiding manner, "Ah-ah-ah. They don't need anyone to make him give up. They just want to make sure no one sticks their nose in when the time comes to grab him."
Akatsuki were full of some of the very best. Shinobi powerful enough to fight and defeat tailed beast containers all on their own. Without any outside interference, it was a toss-up as to whether or not Naruto could fight off any of them in particular.
"Ah, I totally forgot," White Zetsu added, as though reading the moods of those in the know, "If anyone tries to step in to help the jinchuuriki, the bombs go off."
From outside, Shikamaru had heard the entire thing through a short-wave radio he'd shared with Sadao when they'd first taken off for the Fire Daimyo and the Hokage. After hearing enough, he'd decided to slip away. Time was wasting, after all.
He wanted to ask outright how the White Zetsu would get word to whoever was controlling the bombs, but once he took a moment to think about it, there were too many ways it could happen. If there were more White Zetsu spies on the premises, one could somehow send word. The person behind the bombs could be keeping a watchful eye on everything he needed to himself. Someone could have a jutsu connected to the bombs with proximity sensor capabilities.
Naruto and Ino would be fine; they were together. He couldn't go to get them anyway. He had to try and go for the explosives on his own.
'So, I've somehow got to find the bombs and get rid of them,' Shikamaru thought to himself, '...This sucks. I knew this mission was going to be nothing but trouble.'
XxX
(With Naruto)
Naruto stood watchfully over Ino while she tried to pull the information she could from the mind of the deceased White Zetsu. He didn't know everything about her clan's techniques, but he was cognizant that unlike with the conventional mind-reading jutsu, this one left her more or less defenseless until she chose to break it, and forcing her to do so when she'd been in for so long could do bad things.
He was bored, yes, but it was important to make sure that nothing happened to Ino while she was vulnerable. He could get hands-on in rooting out the plant-man spy problem. Speaking of which, he wondered how far along Shikamaru and Sadao were in getting everyone else up to speed.
He gave off a stray pulse of his sensor jutsu, only for his mouth to fall open at the overwhelming force he sensed coming his way; directly his way. And it felt like a power he had felt before, to a limited degree. Either way, it was someone strong, someone likely hostile, and he couldn't just yank Ino out of there or leave her behind to go punch someone in the face.
"Shit," Naruto looked between Ino doing her thing and the direction where he could feel danger coming from, impatiently bouncing on his toes all the while, "Oh, shit. This isn't good. Hurry up, Ino-chan!" He hissed at the girl, who was too far into her jutsu to hear him.
True to form, a man in Akatsuki's signature cloak sauntered into the courtyard, his lower face concealed by a mask and his head covered with a headband. The insignia for Takigakure was slashed out. His most striking feature were his red and green eyes.
"Are you Kakuzu?" Naruto asked with a tilt of his head. He only remembered the description he'd gotten from one of the Akatsuki members Tsunade had fought off months ago with his friends.
"You know who I am, boy?" Kakuzu asked, surprised that Naruto had been informed enough to recognize him on sight.
Naruto squinted his eyes, arms crossed over his chest as he and Kakuzu eyed each other from across the large courtyard, "Well, you kind of tried to kill my friends before. I don't think we met then, though."
"I suppose not. You weren't a priority of mine until now," Kakuzu said, narrowing his eyes on his would-be target, "That's changed."
"Clearly," Naruto replied, looking around for his second. Itachi and Kisame had been paired together, and reports said that Kakuzu had a partner of his own, "Don't you guys usually work in twos?"
Prickly old man that he was, Kakuzu bristled at the enemy beginning to understand Akatsuki procedure, "I don't believe that's any of your fucking business. You have enough problems here with just me."
Naruto had to hold back a wince. He was playing things cool, trying to put off a fight as long as possible, giving Ino time to collect herself. It wasn't that he was afraid of fighting Akatsuki alone, it was that if a fight happened there, with Ino unable to defend herself, she could get caught in the crossfire. If he tried to leave the area, Kakuzu's partner could slip in and get ahold of her.
"Now, make this easy and come with me," Kakuzu demanded, "Time is money... so you'd be wise not to waste my time."
Naruto rolled his eyes. Why not? Whatever happened, if he wound up going with Kakuzu, he was going to die painfully, whether he fought back or not. What was the difference in how it happened?
"That's gonna be a no from me," Naruto drawled, face soured in annoyance, "Does that ever actually work? Like, has any jinchuuriki ever come with you assholes just because you say you'll beat them up if you don't?"
Naruto's attempt to annoy Kakuzu into focusing only on him failed, as Kakuzu had been entirely aware of the fact that Ino wasn't far away, and hadn't moved the entire time he'd been there, "Fine, how about this then? You can come with me, no problems for anyone. Or you can fight, and the Yamanaka girl may get caught in the crossfire."
'Fuck!' Naruto raged inside his head, despite keeping cool on the outside, "No sweat. I'll just wake her up, and we'll both beat your ass."
Kakuzu found the attempt at subterfuge more adorable than anything else – like literally catching a teenager in a lie, "No, you won't. I've been around a long time, kid. I've got the nuts and bolts of how most jutsu work. Whatever she's using, snapping her out of it isn't that easy."
Aside from that, the thought that two whelps like Naruto and Ino could beat him, even when working together? It made Kakuzu want to laugh.
Naruto slumped his shoulders in defeat. Verbal bluffs had never been the strong suit of his deceit abilities, "Well, when you put it that way-," Naruto shot out a Chakra Chain from his left hand, "-GET OVER HERE!"
Kakuzu leaned out of the way of the chain, watching the tip soar past him and stab into a tree. When he turned back around, he caught sight of Naruto reeling himself in towards him with a Rasengan in his right hand. Kakuzu ditched his Akatsuki cloak to conceal himself from Naruto's sight long enough to dodge.
After landing from his charge, Naruto pulled out his machete and turned to swing in the direction he sensed Kakuzu in. Kakuzu stopped the attack, smashing his forearm into Naruto's, beginning a back and forth test of strength that found the two at a stalemate.
"Ugh," Naruto grunted as he struggled against the legendary bounty hunter, "Heh, you're pretty strong, old man. Aren't you like 100 years old?"
"91, actually," Kakuzu replied, "And don't be so surprised. Haven't you ever heard of 'old man strength'?" As he spoke, the stitches at his forearm opened up, revealing moving tendrils of thick, black threads, "I wouldn't underestimate it if I were you."
Naruto disengaged and dodged when the threads grew out and expanded toward him. A quick substitution prevented him from being skewered, but only for a moment. The threads were like living things, though they were merely part of Kakuzu, and their increased aggression was merely a result of his temper spiking, "Fuumon no Jutsu (Wind Ripple Jutsu)!" A wave of wind tore from Naruto's body, cutting into the threads and protecting him from harm.
It was a defensive move that despite being in midair when it occurred left Naruto with a dominating view of the battlefield. Kakuzu was on the ground, and he had the high ground to attack, but the man wasn't alone. Off to the side, a creature comprised of Kakuzu's threads in the form of a demonic tiger. It formed a fireball at the mouth of the mask that was its face.
"Katon: Zukokku (Fire Release: Searing Migraine)!"
Naruto's eyes went wide. As if he had future sight, he could tell what was set to happen next. Timing the attack as Naruto's feet touched the ground, Kakuzu's mask creature launched the fireball. It exploded forth, scorching the ground as it traveled to its target, expanding into a widespread firestorm.
It encompassed much of the courtyard in the direction Naruto had been in. It spread farther, faster than he would have been able to outrun
"How did you dodge that?" Kakuzu growled.
By diving into the fountain in the middle of the courtyard, and by the skin of his teeth from the burns he could feel on his arms and chest. The fire had been so hot, it had evaporated the water. So hot that the expensive stone the fountain was made of added to the hot air to scorch Naruto's flesh. He was not in the mood to answer questions, as he had some of his own.
"Fuck that! Where did that thing come from?" Naruto shouted, doing his best to keep both Kakuzu and the fire mask within his line of sight.
"From me," Kakuzu pointed at the threads still spilling out of his forearm and wiggling around, "You were so concerned about this, you never noticed a little piece of me split off. Children are never as attentive as they need to be," He taunted, slowly inching forward toward Naruto, "Now... I-... grr."
His body stopped moving nearly entirely, muscles and joints locking up. It took great effort just for him to take a step in his intended direction.
Naruto looked down at the ground and didn't see a long shadow connected to Kakuzu's. There was only one other person he knew of who could stop someone cold like that, and it looked like the textbook effects of Shinranshin no Jutsu, "...So, I guess you're done with that plant-guy. Took you long enough."
"Oh, screw you, Goldie," Ino said, holding her hands up in the necessary sign for her jutsu, "Diving into that thing's mind was like rooting through a shallow gutter for coins."
"Better late than never," Naruto said with a smile, "At least it's two-on-one now, until his partner gets here, at least."
None of this seemed to faze Kakuzu in the slightest, "You think I need that idiot, or anyone else to get out of this? The only things you can count on in life are money, and yourself," The way he spoke, he seemed to believe it full bore, as though it were wisdom he were passing down to the next generation.
"That sounds like a really sucky way to live for 100 years," Naruto replied with a confidence he hadn't had when the fight had started.
It wasn't lost on Kakuzu how Naruto and Ino had looked at each other since the latter had arrived. He slowly craned his head toward Ino, despite speaking to Naruto, "You should have kept her away. We all have our valuables. Now it looks like I'm going to have to make sure you lose yours before I'm finished with you."
Omake: What's Mine Is Yours (3)
For once, Naruto felt the need to fully assess his situation before making a move. It was weird to actually try and come up with a plan far in advance, but for the unenviable task of confronting Yamanaka Inoichi over the relationship status he shared with the man's daughter, he needed to prepare. Part of that preparation involved seeking advice, and when it came to something this delicate, there was only one person Naruto could go to.
He went to seek out Asuma, only with current circumstances, Asuma had other things to do when he wasn't out on missions. This was how Naruto found himself seated in Asuma's apartment, making himself useful by moving baby furniture and baby-proofing the home. Both Asuma and Kurenai at first wondered how Naruto knew what he was doing before both reminded that he was in the process of building his own house. It was a small trifle to do that kind of work in exchange for soliciting counsel.
The original Naruto kicked back on the couch while his clones buzzed around the apartment, doing this and that. It was kind of fun to watch for Asuma, recognizing that Naruto had more skills than ninja-related abilities, "Not that I don't love you, kid, but it's kind of odd that this is any place you'd want to be on your day off."
Naruto relaxed on a sofa while his clones glared at him for making them do all of the work. Tough. They were drawing upon his knowledge to do the work, and they were him, so technically he was still doing it, "Well, I wanted to talk to you about something, but you're here doing baby shit with Kurenai-sensei... so I guess I'm here doing baby shit with Kurenai-sensei."
Kurenai entered at that moment with snacks for the three of them, "Which is much appreciated by the way. Your clones have been a big help today."
Asuma made room on his couch for his lady as she sat down with them, "Kurenai, don't pump up his ego. He'll never let you forget it," She warned him, only to get a scowl from Naruto, "Okay, so what's up?"
"I need you guys' help," Naruto said, "I've gotta come up with a way to get Ino's dad to be cool with us dating and stuff."
Asuma clasped his hands in front of his face seriously as he heard Naruto out, "I understand your dilemma, but are why you talking to me about this? Jiraiya trained you. Go to him. I'd think he's way better suited for any woman-based subject."
Naruto rolled his eyes at the idea of his second teacher coming up with any idea for him more complex than how to get a girl in the sack, "Ero-sensei's never had a girlfriend longer than a stay in whatever town he was in," Which... whatever. If that was what he was cool with, fine for him. It wasn't going to help Naruto, though, "On the other hand, Kurenai-sensei is having your baby-."
Asuma put on a stupid grin in return, "Yeah, she is," That got him a knock on the arm from the woman in question.
Naruto ignored the byplay, and continued making his point, "-You're the only guy I know who's in an actual relationship, so I need your advice."
"That's couldn't possibly be true. There's..." Asuma stopped when he tried to think about people close to Naruto, close to the two of them actually, that could take his place and realized that he really was the only man for the job, "Ahem, well, the thing is, while we were both okay with it, Kurenai moved in kind of out of necessity. Our situations aren't the same here, unless you plan on getting Ino-."
"Ah-ah-ah," Naruto held up a hand to stop his old jounin sensei, "Don't finish that sentence. We take precautions before and after."
"I notice you didn't say 'during'," Kurenai pointed out, Asuma gleefully nodding in agreement.
Naruto held his arms up in an 'x', "That is not what we're talking about right now," He was not about to allow that evil to be put on him.
Asuma and Kurenai both looked at each other in amusement as the former continued to pile on, "No, this could be the answer to your problem... though it may just speed up the whole thing with Inoichi killing you for getting too friendly with his daughter."
Naruto threw his hands up in exasperation. Clearly, he would find no help in this department here. He gave up on doing things subtly, "Fuck it, I'm just gonna tell him what we've been doing. What's he gonna do, yell at me? Tell Ino not to see me anymore. I'm sure that'll work," He said sarcastically.
"But you want him to like you," Asuma said, "And in the grand scheme of things, he does. Even if he gets upset that you and Ino bang, it'll all blow over," Eventually. After four or five years of abhorring Naruto as the boy who took his baby girl's innocence away, "Nah... Inoichi isn't your problem. You're not scared of him. You're scared of having Ino live with you."
Naruto's blue eyes went wide in shock, "Then why would I be coming up with plans to have it happen?" He reasoned. Just what was Asuma suggesting?
Asuma casually shrugged and explained his point of view, "Because you know your thought out plans suck, and when it fails you can let the whole thing go, saying you tried," He gave his student a knowing look, "Naruto, I've known you since you were 12."
Plenty of time to get to know how he ticked. How else would he have gotten so much out of training him early on? It was simply the mark of a good sensei to know your kids to that degree.
Kurenai had a knowing expression on her face as she chimed in, "You've lived alone your whole life, haven't you, Naruto?"
Naruto recoiled back at the out of the blue question, "I mean, I stayed in the Konoha Orphanage until I went into the Academy, but I don't think that counts. Not really. Does it?"
Kurenai laughed and reached out to put a hand on Naruto's arm, "You've been alone with yourself forever. You've never lived with anyone before, let alone a significant other."
True enough. No parents, no real guardians, no siblings. Cohabitation had never been a portion of Naruto's upbringing, "Yeah, but she stays over all the time."
Kurenai shook her head, "Not the same thing. Ino staying over, as far as you're concerned, they're nice little visits. I know, because Asuma and I traded nice little visits too," She said, "A few hours at a time, maybe overnight, a day or two at most."
Asuma pointed right in Naruto's face, "You're scared that once she gets 24 hours of you all day, every day, she'll start seeing more things that she doesn't like. Honestly, that's very self-aware of you to know how abrasive you can be. It's kind of impressive."
Kurenai glared at Asuma for a moment before reassuring the teenager amongst them, "Don't listen to him. It's okay to be scared when you're thinking of making a big change like this. You like what you have, and you don't want to do anything to ruin it. That's why you're nervous."
Naruto stammered, trying to come up with some way to discredit the couple, "I... you... I won't say that you guys are right, but I don't have anything off the top of my head to go against it," He heaved a sigh, "So what do I do? Suck it up?"
"Basically," Asuma said, without sugarcoating it, "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
"Hokage," Naruto replied without a second thought.
Asuma palmed his forehead and even Kurenai gave him a deadpan look, "I mean realistically," Asuma said.
Naruto just seemed to be confused, "That's not realistic? I thought Hokage-jiji got the hat when he was like 18 or something. I could get it by 22, I think."
Asuma tried to give context to his father becoming Hokage at a young age, "It was a different time back then. A war was going on, people were getting killed left and right," All of this was inconsequential, "Look, the point is, when you think about what you'll be doing five years from now, when you think about how you'll be living, where's Ino?"
Naruto thought through all kinds of things, milestones in life that he may or may reach in the future. In each and every one of them, Ino was there, and not as a teammate, standing by his side when he received the title of Hokage. She would be there when he received a genin squad of his own, because she'd be the person he told when he got home at night. She would be there at his wedding, not as a guest or a bridesmaid, as the woman he would be marrying. She would be there when he was present for the birth of his first child, not because she was a godparent or honorary aunt, but because she was the mother.
In these scenarios, he couldn't think of her not being there. He couldn't think of anyone else in the place that he had her automatically.
Asuma saw the look of concentration on Naruto's face as he contemplated in real time, "If you can see yourself with her, clear as day – going home to her, waking up with her, sharing everything with her – just go for it. Ask her. It might be the best thing you ever have yourself do," He punctuated by giving Kurenai's hand a gentle squeeze.
Naruto saw none of this, focusing on his own thoughts until he'd managed to ease his own mind, "I think I get it. Thanks, Asuma-sensei, Kurenai-sensei. That really helped a lot!"
Kurenai was happy that she was able to assist her lover's student in some way, "Think nothing of it. It was our pleasure, Naruto," And she meant it. Even if she'd never trained him, he'd always been present in some form. Watching him grow up was quite something.
Asuma was much more flippant about lending his support, "Eh, the day I became your sensei, it basically became my second job to double as your guidance counselor until the day I die. I'm not even getting paid for it anymore."
Naruto growled under his breath at the bearded jounin, "Don't give me that. I paid you in the form of moving all of your baby shit today for free. And I'm still waiting to be named godfather. Don't stonewall me!" He said as he got up to supervise his clones and let his mentor's words sink in.
Kurenai leaned over and gave Asuma a kiss, "You're going to be a good father."
Asuma preened at the praise, momentarily, "Yeah, I-. Oh, crap. That means I'll have to deal with my own teenager this time, won't I?" And unlike with a genin team, he couldn't pull rank to make them listen to him and behave, or send them home when they annoyed him too much on a given day, "Oh well, At least I don't have to deal with that for thirteen more years."
Jutsu List
Raiton: Kettoudama no Chouwa (Lightning Release: Frantic Sphere of Harmony). A-rank ninjutsu. Offensive. Close-to-mid range. Follows the principle of Keimoudama (Sphere of Enlightenment), with the user expelling chakra from every tenketsu in the body in a constant stream, only with the added use of nature transformation. A volatile sphere of electricity emanates from the user, electrocuting any victim within range. The user can also focus and aim specific bolts of electricity at a target as a secondary threat.
Shinda Kokoro no Tanda (Dead Mind Dive). A-rank hiden ninjutsu, supplementary, close range. One of the most difficult techniques to learn in the mind-reading branch. It is used to probe the mind of a deceased target. Because the brain is dead along with the body, it requires chakra to be filtered into the brain to give it enough of a temporary spark to be read. Extracting the information needed is a complex task, due to there being no way to help coax it out. It is a time-consuming and exhausting task, demanding great mental commitment with no guarantee of success. The skill and experience level of the user must be high in order to merely attempt this jutsu.