I internally scolded myself after that incident, of all times I have to get caught. Ugh... Just why do I always end up staring at that handsome-- no, no erase such ridiculous thoughts. God damn it... I'm fucked
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Because of Pheobe's very alerting and uncomfortable awakening words, I ended up avoiding the shit out of Xander. and Phoebe just kept teasing me every moment she was able to. Goddess, why him of all people.
'Because you have a thing for unsubmissive men, take Ryan for an example.' Phoebe once again said in my head. 'Goddess, just shut up Phoebe, you've been going on with this for a week' I said annoyed. She just snickered like a little kid and her voice slowly vanished from my head. I just sighed and rolled my eyes at what Phoebe said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Later that night...
God damn shapeshifting mongrel! I already had a bad day now you want me to have a bad night?! Wait a fucking minute! That energy, I know that energy like the back of my hand! It's Ryan's! I ended up forgetting the illegal transmigrator that I was chasing and followed Ryan's energy and Phoebe was so excited inside me! 'Mate!' Phoebe growled.
'Yes, Yes I know Phoebe! Just wait a little longer!' But something inside me just didn't sit right about me being excited about seeing Ryan like I wanted to see another guy in his place instead of Ryan. Then it dawned on me that I didn't notice that I was already in deep for Xander and that my feelings for him are conflicting with my mateship with Ryan...
No, no that can't be. I tried denying it and just focused on finding Ryan with his energy and simply pushed the thought to the back of my head... *sigh* I calculated the possible routes he'd take and went to a common halfway of all of them.
"Ryan!" I called out when I can finally see him. "Wind!" He gleefully called out while wearing that puppy-like surprised face of his... Yes, that's right I miss him a lot. And he's the guy I like not Xander I simply just got confused and lonely that's why I had such incredulous thoughts of myself liking Xander. Yes, of Of course. I'm back on the path that I should be taking as a being from another world and as the Crown Princess of the Air KIngdom...
Yet why do I feel queasy, like what I'm feeling isn't right? That something about what I'm feeling isn't real? Why? "How are you? I can't believe I'm finally seeing you after like almost 3 years... Oh god. How I missed you Wind!" He said after rambling and mixing his words and engulfing me in a suffocating bear hug.
"Okay, I'm great as long as I'm not killed in this hug you're giving me." He just chuckled and let go of me. "I mean, wow, look at you you look so different." He said obviously so happy to see me. "Yeah, the fashion styles here on earth are so freaking gorgeous!" I said excitedly as well. "Freaking?" He asked confusedly. "Oh right! It's a word that's used here on earth a lot." I explained.
After that, we simply tried to catch up as much as possible on everything that went onto our lives and the most random topics we could think of, just to keep the conversation going. Unfortunately, after such a long time we've talked, we just ran out of things to talk about. Though, I found out he was actually currently staying with Ophelia for now, well at least just until he could earn enough money to buy himself a place to stay in. Throughout the night I helped him catch his very first transmigrator, and likewise, he also helped me capture my catch of the day, well, not that I needed any help, I just wanted to hang out with him some more with the excuse of our daily mission. Afterward, we just ran around the city as I explained the mortal kinds of stuff and places here on earth.
"Well, that was an eventful night." He said when he noticed the sun starting to rise as a sign that most mortals would be awake and ready to start their day, but it was also a sign that we now had to part ways as we didn't want to get caught.
"Yeah, it was indeed very eventful," I replied as I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of the cold morning wind hitting my skin. "So, see you around later at night?" He asked bringing me back from my peaceful trance bond with my element.
"Yeah, see you around I guess," I said and opened my eyes to look at him for one last time for the day and exhaled a breath that I was unconsciously keeping. He hugged me for one last time then I withdrew back to the shadows of an alleyway and back to Clarise's house with a smile on my face. Yes, this was the right feeling. As the crown princess of the kingdom of the air, it is my obligation to fall for someone of my rank, someone that could benefit me and my kingdom, and not some commoner, much less a man of another world. As their future Queen, I have a responsibility to my family and territory, Hence I have to make such decisions in my life and make them selfless decisions.
But why do I feel this heart-wrenching pain? Is this really what I want? Then I noticed that the smile that I first wore right after I split ways with Ryan had turned into drops of tears for the man who was effortlessly swooned me over, and I am simply falling into a dark and deep cliff just waiting for a certain someone to catch me...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~