The next couple weeks settled into the usual pattern. I would wake up at 5am to get ready for work, eat breakfast by 5.30 and head out by 6 and then work till 5pm and close shop. Rise and repeat. I do not work on weekends which is a great thing as I get to spend that time with mother and my friends.
My friends and I go out to maybe watch movies, attend a concert or go mess around at the mall just like when we were kids. We often hit the mall every weekend to go see what was happening and maybe buy some food or snacks and some toys and games. Life was way simple in our childhood. Why did we start complicating shit as we got older?
Just that is enough to make me feel sad for the current generation of kids that get stuck with parents that bleed onto them or end up in some messed up traumatic circumstance beyond control. I guess that is life right?
This particular weekend, we chose to go mess around in the mall again. "Guys!! Check this out!!" says Emma as she puts on a pair of extra large plastic sunglasses. Kelsey and I giggled and took photos to commemorate this moment. Sounds silly but to us it is special because we may never have a moment like this again.
It is kind of great that Kelsey and Emma stuck with me through everything as all my other friends have since abandoned me and never showed up during my time of need and often gave all kinds of excuses.
How humanity has fallen. This is the reason I gave up on church and life in the first place. Why should I devote myself to God when suffering is all that I have known?! Why is it that the evil, toxic individuals never ever get punished for anything at all?!
Mum keeps trying to force me back into church but I instantly shut her down everytime. Like no thank you. My friends have not brought up that subject matter as they know how much it triggers me.
"Do they have a silly headband here?" I ask, looking around the shop. The store we were messing around in is G Accessories. The owner,Amanda a kind elderly lady watches us in amusement.
It was then that I have an out of body experience. My body came to a screeching halt once I notice a familiar looking blonde guy with tattoos all over his body. My body shuts down instantly and before anyone knew what was happening, I pass out.
"Mary!!" Emma and Kelsey both exclaim as they rush towards me and grab my body. Hours later, I wake up at home in my bed. Kelsey, Emma and mum were right next to me.
"You okay kiddo?" Mother asks. It has been years she has called me that. Last time she called me that, I was 11 or 12. I groan in fatigue as I try to sit up. Emma and Kelsey both assist me.
"I think so." Was my response. "Girl you passed out in the store." said Kelsey. I blink for a moment. I was confused at first but then, I gained a flashback from that incident at the store.
"I saw him."
"Saw who? Jamie?"
I shake my head. "No. I saw that bastard that raped me when I was 11 years old. I saw Pedro." There was a collective gasp.
Pedro is a friend of my mum's who used to work in our neighbourhood as a plumber. So he came over to the house to help fix the kitchen sink. I happened to be in the living room as I was doing my homework. Next thing I knew, this guy jumped me, takes off my clothes and rapes me.
Mother went to get some groceries so she was not there but when she came home, she saw Pedro on top of me and proceeded to kick his ass on my behalf and called the cops on him. Ever since then, we never saw him until today that is.
I begin to breakdown in tears because for the first time in years, I now feel like that broken little girl that I once was.
Mum pulls me close and hugs me. "It's okay Mary. You are safe. Nothing will ever happen to you." I just nod and do not say much.
I did not sleep well that night as memories of my past began to haunt me. I kept tossing and turning as nightmares began to plague my soul. It got so bad that I had no choice than to get up, head downstairs and perhaps grab a midnight snack.
I rummage through the fridge before settling for some nice cold milk and some cookies. "I see you cannot sleep."
I jump up in fright and whip around to see mum, yawning and stretching as she joins me in the kitchen. "Yeah. Kept having nightmares." She just nods and helps herself to some milk and cookies too. "Same thing that happens everytime I think about your father." she says with a sad smile on her face.
"Do you still love him?"
"Yes I do. I mean, he was my first serious relationship."
My poor mother. She focused more on her career and me and neglected her health to the point of getting diagnosed with breast cancer shortly afterwards. She survived that but that still scared her.
"You know Mary, there is nothing wrong in starting over. Just because some people achieved certain milestones in life does not mean that you must achieve that same thing as well. Focus more on you and everything will just come."
I smile softly. "Thanks mum." I reply as I take a note out of the cookie. She smiles and gently pats my head. "You will be fine kiddo. Just focus on what you can control from now on."
I just nod. We both head to the living room and watched some random TV show on Amazon Prime and eventually dozed off.