The alarm blasts off for the seventh time today before I finally reached to switch it off. I've been up since 5 AM, but I couldn't move because I haven't been able to adjust to the fact that I'll be going back to school after this summer holiday. I don't even have a reason to be excited about going back to school I don't get along with anyone, not like I get along with anyone at home either; But staying locked up in my room it's just so comforting. 'Do I have to come wake you up now?! You keep turning off the alarm but never get out of bed you leech.' I heard my mom's voice from downstairs, I rolled my eyes I haven't even left my room and I'm being a nuisance already. I sighed, She's not really my mother, she adopted me or more like you found me just when I was 18 months old. She's not really the sweet caring type of parent but anyone who gives you food and provides for you is definitely your parents, Isn't it? I hear her solid footsteps approaching, I ran across to keep my door locked and then run to the bathroom to leave the shower running. ' Open this door or I'll break it down, you little good for nothing brat.' She practically screamed on top of her voice and anytime she does that's my blood pressure skyrockets, she then began to bang on my door. 'I'm in the shower mom!' I screamed back, the hell I'm leaving this place while she's in front of my room.
'Linda you're being too hard on the poor girl.' I heard my dad say, he was always My hero, he saves me from his wife, From everybody else and for myself. I could hear them but I just let my mind wonder of the discussion, listening to it will only hurt me. I washed my face and turned off the tap, I really really really don't want to go back to school but what choice do I even have?
I singled out a black jean shorts and a creamy colored boat neck blouse, I never forgot my hoodie, It's shelters me from my insecurities. I tuck all my Snow White hair in it, Without even brushing it, why but I think of something that isn't even beautiful in the first place?
I glanced at the vanity table, There used to be a huge mirror hanging there But I covered it up years ago. Because anytime I look at it all I see is a scary monster, but for the first time in six years I want to see what I looked like maybe just maybe they'd be slight change; I'm not asking for too much just a slight change. I reached out for the old dusty shawl And pulled it off the mirror but as usual who was I kidding? I looked the same in fact terrible, my eyebrows were now full fledged white and my pair of pale purple eyes stare back at me. Tears well up in my eyes but I wouldn't start to cry now, not now. Breed Keisha breathe I encourage to myself as I head out of my room.
The outside world is much more beautiful than my bedroom, it would be great if I could spend more time outside with may be his friend or two. Because most of the time I'm lonely, I only have myself to encourage, support and understand, nobody else does that for me and it's sad, quiet, unbearable but I'm OK.