They were the size of my thumb, and their heat was more than normal flames, but they did nothing to me. I couldn't feel any heat even though they lit up my face with a red hue. They could be termed as mesmerizing, and as I stared at them, only one thought remained in my mind. If I could master this ability, they would have no chance against me. I eyed the flames carefully and channeled more power into them. I watched as the flames impressively doubled in amount. This would have made me smile, possibly even grin, but I don't think I remembered how to do that. When was the last time I smiled?
I took my phone from the nightstand with my free hand, turning it on. When the screen lit up, my eyes immediately focused on one thing that caught my eye.
NEW MESSAGE RECEIVED.
My hand seemed to have a mind of its own, for I don't remember tapping on it. What I saw next startled me slightly. It was a message from Lily, and I knew that wasn't odd, but I still felt a bit odd about it.
"He knows. I'm certain of it."
The time of the message was 1:06 pm, yesterday. I realized that was just around the time when it happened yesterday. This irritated me, he doesn't own us. I tossed the phone onto the bed and stared at my flaming hand which was now in a fist. If he knows, then why doesn't he act? He should do something about it then, do whatever he likes, I could care even less. My eyes were closed as I took a deep breath, raising my head towards the ceiling. I must get stronger.
The flames, I could feel was dying out, so I opened my eyes to see her little hands grasping tightly onto my fist. The last bit of the flames lingered over her hand before dying out as well, then her hands were cold again. My eyes followed her arms to her face. She knelt on the bed with my stretched legs between hers. She still wore the same clothes she had on when she appeared in my hospital room. Her large, dark eyes were on me, but I couldn't tell what emotion or expression they held. She sat then and pulled my fist to her face.
"You didn't respond when I called you earlier. What's going on?" I asked her calmly, but inwardly doubted she'd answer me. She inhaled deeply with my fist still to her nose like she wanted to absorb its fragrance if it had any. She just kept her eyes focused on my hand.
"You were about to do it again. The backlash could've been bad. ," she pointed out flatly. Even though she didn't sound too pleased, her wonderful voice was still pleasing to the ear. "You told me we'd do it, not you."
"I have to get stronger, Lily." She now looked at me.
"But what about the pain? We agreed that I would help you."
I shook my head. "This is my ability. I can't just sit moping around and doing nothing. You said to yourself that I would get used to the pain with time. Besides, you know what is within me. The pain would be consumed."
Her eyes were now cold and unfeeling. "Don't you care?" I shook my head again. "I care, and I would care even more with worry and fear when I fail to help myself, or you when I'm weak to do so. Lily, you should understand this more than anyone else, how I feel"
"I do, Chris, I really do and you should also be able to understand what I mean. Why hurt yourself? We agreed on this."
"I can't stay weak just because of pain. I have to try something at least. I won't stop trying."
She dropped my hand, lowering her head to my chest, looking for a more comfortable position. "Idiot," she muttered.
I looked down at her. "I have to try this, it's the least I can do, so just let me do it"
"You don't get it, but you still think you do."
"Maybe I don't get it, but trust me on this one. Don't you trust me?" I felt her grip on my clothes tighten a little, and when she spoke again, her voice was slightly muffled, her head buried in my chest. "I don't trust you? Why would I even be here? Why am I here if I don't trust you if I don't care for you? I hate this, I hate all of it. It's like a puzzle that keeps getting more complicated when you think you've fixed it. We're not supposed to be like this, you and I. He hates it to the core, our relationship and forbids it. One of us will pay for it, whatever price he demands. That's the usual sacrifice, but I'm worried about what it is he wants. He knows this, he has for a long time now, but what does he want that he hasn't acted yet?"
I looked at her distressed figure, wondering if she actually knew what I knew, or if I knew what she knew. "It will be me, that's how it's always been, and it won't change, not because of us." I said in a whisper to her. She looked up at my face, and I stared back at her eyes. Her pupils were black, and her sclera were so white they seemed to give off a light of their own.
"Anything can happen when it comes to him. You do know…" her voice trailed off into silence for a second, then came back. "He's fond of you. You couldn't be defeated by Aryon, and Oren. He thinks you're…different. I don't know if he knows though." She ended the last part with distaste-subtle, but easily noticed by me who knew her in many ways others wouldn't. I broke eye contact and slowly looked over at my table. Normally I would be sitting there around this time since I would have nothing much doing.
She had her head turned to the side on my chest as if listening to my heartbeat, but I knew she was only acknowledging my silence like my mother would. My hands came to rest on her lower back in the form of an embrace. I thought of how clearly she understood me, what I was thinking and how I needed the silence, and this made me remember how we first met.
It was just when we had moved over to this side after my dad had deserted us. I knew no one and planned not to in this new place, with no relatives, no friends, and no one. I didn't even have the contacts of any friends from our previous place. I don't even remember having any.
On my first day of schooling in this new place, the teacher of our very first lesson, our homeroom teacher began after greeting the class that he was going to divide us into groups of two for group assignments. He didn't even introduce me to the class. It was like he hadn't noticed, or that he couldn't care less. He produced a pile of cards on the table up front, and every student was to go pick one when their turn arrived. He treated me like an old student who knew the rules to follow, for I remember how annoyed he got when I hesitated during my turn to go pick a card. I had no idea what the card was for, maybe someone's name, my new partner. I approached the table, and could feel several eyes that were on me as I moved slowly towards the table, even the murmurs were drifting to my ears. I was the last person, I thought as I picked up a card. I realized two things; one, the card only had a number, and two, there was one more card there to be picked.
I just turned and walked back to the corner where I sat. I clearly remember the empty seat behind me before I got up, but as I approached my seat, I saw her seated there. She had her arms folded over her chest like a stubborn child, but even though she looked more than beautiful, I could feel loneliness surrounding her. It felt like she was from another planet, and we were still on earth. I was sure I remained rooted in my spot staring at her, possibly gaping at her before I heard the voice loud and clear from the teacher.
"Can everyone make it to their seats?" I came back to realization and awkwardly made it to my seat.
"Oh so nobody needs a GPS to get to their seats then," I heard the teacher say sarcastically, knowing very well that the 'they' was me.
There was laughter, and the murmurs continued again, and I could once again feel the eyes that were on me. It took another shout and a clap from the teacher before the eyes left me, and order was restored.
"So, the numbers are in pairs if you don't know. Whoever picks your matching number will be your partner for the group work."
He was walking around the class then as he spoke, and I could hear giggles and a series of muffled comments. That was when I realized he was walking in my direction. I tensed then, but he passed by me, and a slam reverberated in the classroom.