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Chapter 4 - No More

Xu Zihao was taken aback by the Elder Miss Liu's reaction; he was even more taken aback by the way Lei Nuwa took the hit– not even a single tear shed.

Lei Nuwa, upon being slapped, picked herself up off the ground and took multiple steps away from the table. As she scanned those standing gobsmacked in front of her, her eyes wandered to Xu Zihao. Surprisingly, his was the only face not filled with malice towards Lei Nuwa.

'Isn't he in love with her? Is he secretly planning my doom behind that indifferent mask of a face?' Nuwa could not help but shiver. Xu Zihao was infamously violent and unforgiving.

Xu Zihao threw one last glance at Nuwa, and finally at Shi Qian. Nuwa noticed how his eyes softened ever so slightly when gazing at her. She laughed darkly inside.

'Even the famous Xu prodigy has his heart broken over Shi Qian and Liu Yichen.'

She was not surprised when Zihao once again fixed his eyes on herself with a subtly angry expression on his face. Zihao himself could not help his reaction; as long as he could remember, he had sworn to be Qian Qian's protector. Even when she began to fall in love with Liu Yichen, Xu Zihao had sworn to not falter in his promise.

This was the first time he felt himself wavering, but he did not know it yet. Lei Nuwa had felt disappointed in herself– she thought that because he had helped her with her hand, that he cared for her even just slightly. She had forgotten that she would always fall short in others' minds. Lei Nuwa wished this revelation, one she had already known, did not hurt as much as it did.

"I apologize to Matron Liu and her esteemed guests. I am not acceptable enough to attend gatherings such as these, so I will take my leave immediately. Rest assured, lowly Lei Nuwa won't bother this gathering any longer." Her sharp words were like a rain of arrows on her opponents, as they stared at the bold girl. She was so unlike the Lei Nuwa they had known, not that they knew much about her in the first place.

In a move to diffuse the situation, Yang Mao stood up and bowed to the Liu grandmother.

"Elder Liu, I apologize deeply for my shameful daughter. Rest assured she will be disciplined strictly at the Yang house, she is unacceptable as a Yang family member. Please forgive me, my wife, and my true daughter Yang Sui for this slight against the Liu family." Lei Nuwa wanted to snort at the sight. Even as he was apologizing, he still made an effort to speak her older half-sister's name in order to boost her social standing. She felt that even at her funeral, her father would make a speech about Yang Sui.

She ignored her father's words and began to walk away. She knew the ramifications of her actions today; she would forever be a pariah in school and life. Her family situation would become worse, and she would have to suffer with hiding black eyes and bruised lips from now on. And yet, the engagement was never broken. No matter what Lei Nuwa had done in all of her lives, her engagement was never called off. She inwardly cursed that old Liu man, for subjecting her to this painful fate.

Without looking or listening, Lei Nuwa knew it was raining. Every time she had been reborn, it was the day of a strong thunderstorm. She began to take the route she had discovered in her third life; a small paved road through a wooded area that would lead her to the city. She knew that no one would look for her until the morning. That gave her a night of peace before she returned to a newly violent father, and a summer of dread.

As she walked, the familiar sensation of drowning began to suffocate her. It was not so long ago that she had felt blood-tainted water fill her lungs and nostrils. The weakness in her body from loss of blood had dulled the panic she would have normally felt. Strangely, she was now comforted by the feeling, and she continued to put one foot in front of the other.

In the rain, she could not tell if she was crying or not.

Lei Nuwa had contemplated whether or not to commit suicide in this life as well. She longed more than anything to be back in the mysterious woman's warm embrace, but she knew it would be cruelly taken away from her again, and she would once again be revived to this sick world, this sick life.

She remembered her third life; the one life she could consider good. She felt her heart break as she recalled the small happinesses she had taken for granted. In her third life, she had decided to throw everything away. She ran away in order to never interact with the Lius or the Yangs, and had secured a life for herself that was as close to normal as she could wish. She had gotten pregnant; a one-in-a-millionth miracle that she treasured more than all of her lives combined. But even then, Shi Qian and the Liu family had taken everything away from her. The car Shi QIan had been driving had crashed into Lei Nuwa's- resulting in her and her baby's death. Her heart wept at the memory.

Others in Nuwa's position would want revenge. No, Nuwa just wanted peace.

***

She continued to walk, ignoring the pain in her feet and the increasing heaviness of her soaked clothes.

Finally, she had reached her desired spot. In the middle of a park within N City, there was a small gazebo that provided a couch and a gas fueled fire pit. In her second life, she had found this refuge after running away from the thugs hired to hurt Shi Qian. She, in an effort to gain favor from the couple, disguised herself as Shi Qian and took the beating in her place. She had arrived at the gazebo, hiding behind the pit as the thugs ran past her. Someone had left a blanket on the couch then; she remembered the warmth of the fire as she wrapped her aching body in the blanket and laid on the couch. She had never been able to return to the place she remembered so fondly, until today.

Lei Nuwa pulled off the sweater clinging to her body, as well as her socks and shoes. She sat on the couch after turning on the fire, sitting exactly how she did two lifetimes ago. Surprisingly, she began to feel safer and calmer.

In a world full of hardships and hate, Lei Nuwa knew to savor the moments of reprieve. She quickly fell asleep– hoping what she always did before bed.

That she would wake up and realize it had all been a dream, or that she would not wake up at all.

***

Underneath the light of the stars, a small girl shivered.