Brock looked up to Everest. " Hey so I think I can win I'm starving. But there is already a problem."
" What? What wrong you okay?"
" That big guy won and they some something about beans on his plate. I can't do it. I'll end up hurting someone. You gotta believe me. Don't make me eat them please."
" It's just beans man no one is gonna make fun of your name dude. And if they do I'll hurt them for you"
Bean grew angry and stared into E's soul with a glare. " I NEVER SAID CAUSE OF MY NAME! Look I know I'm a goblin and I can eat anything. But if I eat beans.. It.. it's gonna make me lose it. I will lose this competition trust me."
E took a step back. " Okay sorry. Sheesh just, I don't know, eat every thing that doesn't have them then. Save them for last. Enjoy yourself, but bring home the prize at all cost. You do this and you're saving us probably a lot of money. Look at that thing over there. That's likely made of steel, it's shiny and compact. Imagine cooking on that thing. E pointed to the judge table where the prizes had been brought out.
Bean huffed then shrugged his shoulders. " Just don't be angry at the out come."
As everyone gathered and lined up to be weighed, Jasper walked up to E.
" Hey ladd, joining the competition? or the weeman?"
" Oh hey Japser congratulations on your win. And no not me. Brock is joining though. He's got a secret weapon for this kind of thing." E leaned over and whispered " He's got a Skil that he can eat anything"
" Ho ho that's great. Yeah some folks made some pure rubbish just to entertain the crowd. Happens every year. Blazing hot, sour, burnt food you name it. Only half of the cooking competition ever really tries to win. Look at him in line he looks happy. Poor chap. The good food mingled in the mix may help but he's got an uphill battle. Half of the folk usually tap out or puke and get disqualified. Some eat so slow until the end to know what to avoid and eat the good stuff like crazy in the last few minutes. Good prizes though. You're sure to get a laugh. My ale may knock a few on their asses even haha."
" Damn I didn't know how crazy this thing was I thought it was just a eat as much as you can kind of thing. I feel bad Brock was so happy to sign up. Hopefully I didn't send him to death."
" Haha no no, don't worry poison is forbidden and tested for. Anyways I better get back. Let me know how you guys fare. Good luck."
E began to sweat. He saw some really big people. They could likely eat Bean entirely. Some people looked thinner than E himself. He started to think he made a mistake and sent Bean out to have a horrible time. After a few minutes of waiting everyone was seated. Five people across four large tables. Around 15 plates of food had been brought out for each of them. Some food looked absolutely horrible. The same gorgeous woman who announced the winners stood atop the judges table at the back.
" Okay everyone, you've all been weighed and plates are ready a quick summary of the rules. Don't touch anyone else's food, No puking, You cannot spit anything out, Once you start a plate you must finish it, and When it's down to the final three we will take results. Any rules brokem disqualify you. Ready? BEGIN!"
Some people began to eat very quickly Bean among them. He quickly grabbed Jasper's food and began to woof it down. With the occasional sip of ale. Others studied their food looking for which food they wanted to start with and setting their plates in order. Some even started with the worst but first, they are slowly fighting through the flavor.
After about 10 minutes the first few people began to drop out. Among them a few who ate the worst but first and puked others who seemingly came just to eat as much good food and enjoy it. " Damnit I really should have signed up some people are so sly"
As the clock kept going E kept his eyes to Bean looking back and forth between him and other people. With the occasional plate of food being so gross he would take note and signal bean with a shake of his head not to eat it. Bean had finished 6 whole plates of food already being on par with some of the other people out there. Out of knowhere a contestant stood up screaming like a little girl. "Water, Water, water pleeeaaaaseee, My lord my mouth haaa haha it's on fire!" A few second later he passed out and a few bystanders began to burst into laughter. A few of what seemed like his friends came and scooped him up.
E tried to look at what food he ate but he couldn't tell he must've only taken a single bite and most of that man's food that looked improper was pushed to the back of the table. " Hmmm something is off."
About 10 minutes more had passed and there was only about 8 contestants left. Bean was still among them but he was eating much slower now, after his 9ths plate his stomach seemed to reach it's limits. He began drinking more water and trying to burp as often as possible. He started his tenth plate with what looked like some burnt biscuits and a green gravy. " Yuck, I don't know what that is but it looks like troll snot."
Over the next few minutes 3 more people tapped out after eating something spicy leaving down to 5. E noticed this time that none of them had and horrible looking food left. Someone disguised a nefarious plate among the good food out there. E look to Bean who was chewing on what looked like the first place cooking contest winner barbecue pork. He sat there eyes closed with a slow chew with his shirt stretched tight. E looked closer " Oh no that's the Bean medley plate! He must not have been paying attention. If he eats that he's gonna puke!"
Each table had a single contestant left except for Beans table he sat accross from a wirely human male who seemingly was built to do this. He only had 3 plates left.
" Haha you little goblin, your done for look at you practically in a food coma, you fall asleep and your out. Meanwhile I already ate the spicy food! Your in for a treat. I CANT TASTE hahahahaha this contest is mine!"
Bean opened his eyes slowly and sucked his fingers. He was ready. He looked at the man and then down at his plate. " 4 plates to go... let's finish this one and make it three." He slowly reached for a spoon. He shakily moved his hand over to the pile of bean medley. He scooped it up and swallowed them whole. Bean looked up at the man in front of him and grinned.
" Good bye"
The man across the table looked up as he grabbed his final plate and scoffed at Brock. " Yup last plate. Sucks to be a
loser " Brock's eyes went wide. He felt his stomach gurgling. This was it who knew it would come down to this and planned for it. He would never get looked at the same. He winced. Thunder crackled in the sky and he shot a viscous gas cloud right out his ass. It was silent but the slow green vapor billowed under his seat. Brock burped and blew it down towards his crotch masking that he waft the vapor towards the man across from him, he waved his hands as if he were flicking crumbs from his lap. A few strange hand signs under the table in succession and his burp and fart combination became one. Brock muttered under his breath
" Goblean No Justsu.. Deaths fog" and with a quick shunt of his palm he sent it forth under the table.
E watched the scene unfold his jaw unhinged. Moments later the man across from Bean looked up and said a few words " Is that your burlugbwjejsmaidb" as he threw up all of his food on the ground behind him. He got up and ran away vomiting into his shirt as he tried plugging his nose as tears ran from his eyes.
Brock looked over at E. He sat there in the slow rising gas tears running from his eyes. He was commiting him self to glory at the sacrifice of his honor. He nod to E. he grabbed his shirt, and began to huff out a gentle breeze from it. And slowly it rose into the air above him. " Goblean no
Jutsu.. Abhoreal gloriassdust" His fog had risen above his contenders. It slowly descended. It has spread so thin the vapor became invisible. He's mind raced
" What has he done he'll kill us all! Quickly I must warn them!" It was to late. E dug his face into his elbow. The fog descended, Contenders and onlookers all were in the wake. One by one a fountain and streams of vomit began to flow. E looked on in horror. A mother holding child began puking on one another, the other contestants shot puke across the table. Green rainbows flew across the backyard. Bystanders began blaming one another as they puked on each other. The beautiful announcer woman at the judge table fainted. A minute passed as E burned into his eyes the horrible scene. Moments later the fog lifted.
Brock look to E hopeful that he was still worthy of his gaze. Sniffling and tearing up he look to him for comfort. E looked back to him and slowly closed his eyes. With a gentle nodd he accepted Bean. He vowed to never speak of this horrible turn of events.
People began to leave, the rest of the contestants got up and left crying. The giant catfolk man was so close to finishing his last plate as well his mouth must have been burning as he puked. After the crowd and cloud disappeared E went to go and wake up the announcer woman. " Ma'am hello? please miss wake up. I think we have a winner."
She woke up her brain in a fog and looked around everyone was gone only he and bean remain. She didn't dare speak a word just a nod to the table and she shuffled away sobbing. Weaving her way through the piles of muck.
E took that time to pick up the prizes and he went to pick up Bean. He fell asleep crying. He was at peace, he looked almost gallant in his seat upright with his small boulder of a stomach. "I'm still proud of you." He took Bean and went back to the Guild Leaves.