Slowly, the palm covering my forehead released, and I let the wind do what it was supposed to do. At this moment, I decided to face my disfigurement head-on.
Immediately, everything was blown open by the breeze. Hair, bangs, tears... and my red scar on the top. Everything. Even that never-ending pain that haunted my dreams every night seemed to be laid bare for him to see.
It was not the Kurokawa this system created that C was looking at.
It was the Kurokawa I chose to become.
This...was...me.
"C..." I whispered his name.
His touch might have released me from the shackles that bound me into the main storyline. His kiss might have given me a chance to glimpse back into our distant past, but this moment right here...was decisive.
Because my mental restraints were starting to come off.
"Please, look at me..." Words of begging came out of my throat. Yet I felt oddly wholesome. I was not afraid of any rejection and pity. In this place, at this moment, in this state, my body, soul, and heart were one.
All those parts, from the tip of my hair to the bottom of my feet, were in unison for the first time ever. I was not yet free from everything. However, I was whole.
I was the real Kurokawa. Your Kurokawa. I was not the amalgamation this world used to fulfill anyone's wishes for entertainment. I was yours and yours alone, in sickness and health. Eternally.
Looking at C, nothing but calmness filled my heart. Unlike the feeling of fear I used to harbor, thinking he would pity me, the chronic pain that ate parts of my soul became lighter than before. It felt like I was looking through a new pair of glasses with the most precise prescription ever. Even when my vision was compromised by a mist made from tears, all was so beautiful. In front of me was a clear, fresh vision that captured the world for the first time in its true colors.
His colors.
Under the guidance of the strong wind, each strand of hair danced merrily in front of my eyes. And because I had a bang to cover up my forehead, the hair on top was more energetic than ever. Its movement reminded me of a small child's giggle. Not a single strand remained still. They were wild, constantly trying to fly toward the sky. But they were free. There were no shackles, chains, and, most importantly, no arms holding them back.
For the first time ever since their existence, they became free.
I had let them be.
If it had been minutes before, I would have had difficulties keeping that person from looking at my face directly. I would have to push my hair down to prevent him from seeing my hideous red scar, to desperately hide how unsightly I was, to not acknowledge what a horrible being that described me.
However, once he confirmed my hunch, there existed no reason to continue the resentment. Once I decided to change, there was no more reason to deprecate myself.
Now, even when that thing was still present, when the ugly marks made by Mother on my forehead could be entirely visible to C, I did not feel frightened or pity for myself hearing what he would think about it. In my chest, a heart beat steadily without any uncertainty. For the first time since forever, it found inner peace. It knew it was safe at long last.
Because I knew for a fact that protagonist of mine would never think anything remotely negative about my appearance.
That was why my hands could let go of the bangs they had clung to. That was why my heart started to accept itself.
I could not help but smile. The same wind that blew away the bangs also swept away my tears. They sprinkled far and wide into unknown places, merged into the air, and soon would travel distances I could not even fathom.
Wiping away the droplets on the corners, I could clearly focus on the person before me, whose mouth did not close the whole time. He was looking at me with a broad smile on his face. Although eyes were still too fancy for C's development, his gentle nature radiated from that smile.
Also, a nose has formed slightly above his mouth. It was cute. I would pinch it once a chance came.
"Am I...beautiful, husband?"
Hesitated but full of anticipation, I asked the question to which I had always longed for the answer. With just one word of confirmation from C, I hoped I could give myself the strength to walk forward. On one hand, I knew what he was going to reply with. On the other, I coveted his answer.
There was no need to control myself after hearing C's confirmation. I did want to hold back a little when Laura and Rachel were present by his side, but certainly not now. When they were gone from our conversation, it felt like time had been rewinded to when we used to be by each other's sides without anyone else.
Curling his lips to make a soft smile, C replied: "You always have been a beautiful lady."
"Ah!" *Hic*
I nearly broke down to cry after hearing his answer. And my calm heart almost jumped out of my chest cavity to hug him. Even when I expected C to say what he did, I still could not help but be startled. I was used to holding back pain. Yet happiness was something relatively new to my healing heart.
It was a cliche sentence. Anyone could have done it. Anyone could have been able to say it. For a bookworm like me, lines that were much more romantic and complicated were abundant in books and novels.
Still, none could say those simple words with such a sincere, heartwarming, glacier-melting smile like he did. None could express so much emotion with a single sentence like him.
"Me? *Hic* Beautiful? Are you serious?" The wind continued to bring my bangs upward, revealing my scar to C.
"Yes." His answer was warmer than light itself. His line of sight never left mine.
"I'm... glad to hear that. Thank you, husband." My voice trembled, but my heart was not. "I have always wanted to hear you say it."
C's smile deepened.
As tears continued to trickle down my chin, I ignored them and approached C, trying to touch him with my good arm. Since smashing that mirror in the girls' room, my wound tingled in pain, yet my heart right now was calm and soothed. My mind and body became two completely different entities because the pain did nothing to affect my thoughts.
Caressing C's cheeks, I stayed silent. My protagonist did not move out of the way. Neither did C dodge or push me back. He stood there and let me do what I wanted to. Similar to how I did it to him in the past.
I called him 'husband' twice. C retorted none of them. And I knew how serious he was about relationships.
Maybe C did not realize it because it was more on the unconscious level, but he did not deny our bond. He believed it to be true.
My eyes became more blurry. I could hardly contain myself at this point. If this was not happiness, then I did not know what would be.
It worked. Thankfully, it worked. Even when everything pointed in this direction, I was glad to see my plan not falling far from the truth. If it did not, I would be thrown into an awkward situation.
I was happy. I was truly overjoyed.
I would be lying if I said I was not afraid of rejection. Although the chance of it was little, it was not zero.
The more C came into contact with us, the more of his memories we could get back. Slowly but surely, C would become whole again. He would remember how much he had sacrificed and the days we spent together as a couple.
In my mind, there was no doubt that such a day would come. It was not a matter of possibility but a matter of time only.
As for the other two, I was not too worried.
I was his wife, anyway. This fight ended before it even started.