*Kachak*
"Quite a lively bunch...those two..." Laughing wryly, I close the metal door after confirming Laura and Rachel are no longer present...for the third time...
I mean...third time is the charm, right?! There is no way those two are still outside, right?!
RIGHT?!
...
Actually, do not answer that. I can not handle the truth. Just ignore me. Feel free to pretend I did not say anything. You all should move along now.
"I agree." Chuckling, Kurokawa answers with a gentle smile. "They seem to get along quite well."
It seems she notices my state of mind as well. I mean... a part of it was my fault for making myself seem conspicuous by opening and closing the door many times like a goddamn schizophrenic patient. Anyone would have been freaked out or at least wary of me if they did not know the two girls.
But hey! At least I am not alone in this weird ass predicament!
"You don't say." A sigh escapes my chest. If I had eyes, they would roll 360 degrees from the front to the back and to the front again. Should this world be a horror game, that would have been possible, to be honest.
Okay, maybe that is a bit of a creepy reaction, still!
"I have no idea how or why, though. Those two have been like that the whole day."
"Well, there is nothing wrong with the friendship between girls. And I believe you want to see them getting along, too?"
With a light smile on her lips, the bookworm quickly approaches my side and sits down slowly while tucking her skirt. Besides the usual elegance that Kuro always exudes, her actions are fluid and natural without hesitation. Apparently, she does not shy away from closing the gap between us.
Once that is done, Kuro pats the floor underneath my feet, signaling me to come down with her. To which I quickly complied.
"Yeah, I agree." Of course, it is much better to see Rachel poke Laura with words than her kitchen knife. Rather than having those two battling it guerilla-style until only one stands, I would prefer them to sit down like adults to solve their issues. In a world where killing has consequences, that is easily dismissed since people take it for granted. In mine, however, something like that is hard to come by. Because of that reason, even though I constantly complain, I can not help but feel blessed.
"I know you do." Kurokawa looks pleased.
Silence then falls upon us. For a while, Kurokawa and I do not talk about anything important, nor is it necessary.
Strangely, similar to her silence, I do not want to utter a single word. Soon after sitting down, an unspoken agreement is formed between us as we sit idly, indulging in the other person's delightful presence. Even if this is brief, my heart tells me to enjoy this peacefulness with Kuro to the best of my ability.
This is probably weird to say, but it feels so relaxing. The atmosphere is just right — comfortable yet fun. It is one of those moments when nothing matters, everything is calm, and all is well despite what happened previously. This silence between Kuro and I is drastically different from the silence when I am only by myself. One represents tranquility, and one represents loneliness. One is created by profoundness, the other by hollowness.
I never thought lazying around would feel this nice.
Truly amazing!
Because we were so close, I thought an intense heartbeat would come out of my chest. Or perhaps I should feel hot all over my body out of embarrassment and shame. Yet, there is nothing like that. Even when Kuro and I are not in that kind of relationship, and nothing is voiced aloud, there is nothing but peace in my chest.
I feel calm. The sense of calm was like when I was next to Laura or Rachel. No matter what happened before, my heart always felt at ease with those two. Now, there is one more person who can give me that. Being with Kuro, especially in this instance, feels absolutely incredible.
Plus, I do not have to ask Kuro if she has the same thing in her mind. The fact that she is here tells me everything I need to know. By how she softly smiles, Kurokawa must understand what I am feeling and share the same emotions. Why else would she be here if she did not?
*Woooo*
Sitting on the highest point of the school, gusts of wind mischievously run through the bookworm's well-kept black hair, making her bangs flutter to the rhythmic breeze this place has to offer. Since the distance between us is technically non-existent, not only the pink scar on her forehead is visible, but I can also see her beautiful long eyelashes moving ever so slightly. And her eyes, those everlasting emerald stars with nothing but my reflection in them, unknowingly tremble.
How can anyone look this soft and fragile? It feels like I am going to break her by simply sitting here.
Probably sensing my deep gaze, our bookworm hurriedly uses one hand to keep her hair in place, determined to not let me see what is hidden behind them. Coincidentally, it is her wounded hand. That reminds me. We still need to get Kuro's hand fixed after this.
Nonetheless, not stopping there, using the other hand, Kuro puts it on top of mine without a moment of delay, caressing each finger gently like she is touching a piece of delicate treasure. However, while holding my hand, Kurokawa still says nothing, only maintaining her focus on my face as if to carve my faceless features into her soul.
Truthfully, I feel blessed. Like, for real! Kurokawa could be looking at the sunny sky above us. She could gaze at the cotton clouds floating merrily and endlessly up there. Heck! The bookworm could be getting downstairs to get her hand cared for properly. But no. Kuro chooses to stay here and put me in her visual field instead.
This may sound ridiculous to some degree, but I feel determination emanating from those round eyes. As if Kurokawa is telling me, 'Stay here' or perhaps 'Let's stay like this forever.' No matter what happens, Kurokawa will be by my side. Anything that comes across our paths, we will solve it together. That is what I am seeing from her.
Before, when we did not share that kiss, Kurokawa's pupils did not exhibit such a resolve. Earlier, it was clear that she still had fear and doubts no matter what we talked about. However, now, they are crystal clear. No longer muddied by uncertainty and void of life, Kurokawa shows me the purest determination I have ever seen through the dazzling jewels.
Without words, our bookworm is telling me she wants to protect me. More precisely, she wants to protect both of us, protect what is important to her. There is no room for doubt, hesitation, or confusion. The way Kuro looks at me is that of absolute trust and love. It is like an ancient puzzle piece fitting perfectly into its place after many years of trials. Everything seems so right, so perfect, and so rejuvenating.
With Kuro right next to me like this, images from after our kiss resurface, and I feel an indescribable nostalgia. The first time such a feeling appeared yesterday, I could easily overlook it due to the awkward situation everyone was in. After all, Han was sleeping soundly on his bed, and I kissed his alleged childhood sweetheart, whom he promised to take hands into marriage. There was absolutely nothing to be proud of stealing someone's betrothed. But if it happens twice, and I still throw it aside, something is inherently wrong with me.
Evidently, what I felt after I kissed Rachel and what I felt after I kissed Kurokawa are of the same kind. Despite the different origins, they both give this distinctive nostalgia that lingers in my mind. In Rachel's case, there was a dying world and a sky full of Sakura petals. In Kuro's case, the Sakura tree was also blooming, and the world was dispersing into nothingness, although hers was much more detailed.
It is like I have been there. It is like I have lived those lives. Yet I have no recollections of such memories. They do not exist anywhere in my mind, no matter how hard I try to wreck my brain.
I have no recollection of anything.
Therefore, two possibilities arise.
One, everything has been an illusion conjured up by my brain or the bug that keeps making the girls deviate from the system. If this is the case, I honestly have nothing to worry about. I am just being delusional and imagining things. After so many years of being imprisoned by constant repetition of this game, it is not weird to experience something of that nature.
Unfortunately, even though I wish for the first option to be the one, everything tends to point me in the second direction.
And that answer is: everything happened.