Well, Rassmussen has gone over to the giant sandbox in the east. I can't say I feel good about it. However, I must admit the solitude is downright disheartening. At this rate, I may have to speak to my neighbor, Mrs. Meadows, about adopting one of her many orphaned kittens.
Rassmussen's last letter did nothing to comfort me either.
Casey, my dear,
I'm not sure what all the fuss is about. The food is grand. Pre-packaged and seasoned. Granted, it does nothing to compare to your own fare, but it is a banquet in comparison to sea rations!
Given my current sleeping habits, they've seen fit to assign me night patrol—tis fine with me. I've no desire to cram these tired bones into a crowded barracks with youngsters who speak out of turn and spend all their time cleaning their 'weapons' and discussing things best not shared with a lady such as yourself.
During my off time, I build sandcastles near enemy forces. Attached is a photo of one of my more elaborate models. I could use a new shovel and pail, by the way. Army issue is fine for most, but I prefer one like you keep in the garden. You know, the plastic one with the bunny painted on the side. 'Twould remind me of home.
My unit thinks I've been in the sun too long. Little do they know I have tactical plans of my own. The castles are but a cover for an assortment of explosives I found lying around in an area called an ammo dump. Not sure why they are dumping these items. I've tested several, and they are as deadly as poison, and my plan is a good one.
I leave the sandcastles near enemy outposts. Being the gung-ho bullies the enemy forces are known to be, chances are good at least one will wander out to investigate and destroy. Well, that is where my scavenged explosives come into play. One size nine boot plus one curious bully equals a nice kaboom!
I've not looked forward to anything as much since I talked my first sea captain into allowing me to bait the sharks before sending prisoners down the plank. Now that was a sight to see. A dozen hungry sharks feasting on enemy flesh. But, alas, no sharks here, not even a lion to tame.
With love,
Rassmussen