Around five o'clock in the afternoon, I just got home. My car went into the garage at high speed and made a loud screeching sound when it drained suddenly. While getting out of the car and then slamming the door roughly, I divided my eyes to every corner of the place that caught my eye. Jaxen's car was parked neatly next to Jasmine's. That means he's not fit today. I'm going to beat him up, beat him until I'm satisfied that I've divulged my secret to Tamara. Didn't he know that his actions could lead to danger? Stupid sloppy.
The door to his room was wide open, making it easy for me to go inside and beat him. He was reading a porn magazine while laughing as if he didn't have the slightest problem.
"Didn't Mommy say not to read things like that before you are old enough, huh?" I said as I walked over to him angrily.
Jaxen seems to know that I'm going to beat him up. That's when he jumped out of bed, avoiding me. "Woah… where have you just been, brother?"
"You stupid. Why did you tell Tamara about the assassination plan?"
"She's always asking me questions and it gives me a headache." Jaxen landed his ass on the chair, grabbing the pancakes on the nightstand and devouring them. "She's your girlfriend after all."
"Girlfriend?" I laughed sarcastically. "You already know that I never trusted women."
He shrugged. "Sorry then."
If my head hadn't moved out the window and had someone caught my eye, I would have thrown Jaxen a vase of flowers. I blinked a few times, seeing Kathleen in my backyard with Jasmine. They seemed busy with the plants and the water hose. I automatically ran downstairs to the backyard. It was rare for Kathleen to take the time to visit here.
Jasmine came into the house just as I was about to go out to Kathleen who was holding a rose. Jasmine's two eyes stared at me intently, as if giving a sign of not approaching the girl.
"Don't mess around," she scolded coldly.
"Is approaching my best friend since childhood a sin?" Ignoring Jasmine's rebuke, I continued walking toward Kathleen.
The girl was surprised to see my sudden arrival. She even dropped the rose stalk she was holding earlier, screaming in pain from the thorns. She raised her forefinger, studied it, and pressed it until a drop of blood appeared from the thorn of the rose.
"Let me see your hand," I said, taking her hand. But she pulled her hand away from me as if her hand was too pure and I had no right to touch it because I'm a sinner. I let out a short breath getting treated like that. "Why are you being cold to me like this?"
She didn't want to answer my question. Just a bow and a long sigh in return. Then, without looking back at me, she sat down on the green grass in front of Jasmine and my mother's favorite roses.
"If I'm not mistaken, you've changed like this since that incident," I continued, sitting next to her.
"You've changed completely," she whispered, barely audible. "You even kill people."
I looked down wearily. I can't deny that my attitude has changed a lot since my grandfather's death. Joseph shaped me into the new me. I who is cold know no pity even dares to kill people.
"Sorry," I said simply.
There was silence between us. I glanced at her hands in my lap, while thinking about various things that filled my head. I love this girl. But her love is not for me. I've never really trusted women since this girl lied to me. Disappointed me. Throw me away.
Not needing her permission, I took one of Kathleen's palms and held them. "Why didn't you choose me, Kathleen?"