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Chapter 8 - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

As we walked along the border of the miasma, each step I took became heavier and heavier, as if something deep within me was screaming at me, telling me not to leave this place.

When I was just one step away from stepping into the light, memories of the war and massacre hit me, pushing me away from the light as the guilt of almost destroying the entire world bested me, making me unable to continue.

When I close my eyes, I can still see their look of fear and helplessly seeing the overwhelming force of power they were up against. The terrified screams of the innocent, the young and the old that I brutally killed and slaughtered through to my enemies as they were used as meat shields in an attempt to either escape from me or exhaust me. However, it only made me stronger as I raised them back from the dead and controlled them to kill their brothers and sisters, friends and relatives, opening a path to my enemies.

Seeing the hesitation and guilty look on my face, Samantha knew that just being curious would not allow me to overcome the trauma that I inflicted on myself all those years ago. After all, while physical wounds can be healed with no scars left behind, emotional and mental trauma will always leave a mark behind, leaving only the person himself to resolve it independently.

These scars are what can make or break a person. Knowing the personality of pope Rupert before he became a Lich, his scars are like an invincible, unbreakable chain that wraps around his body, making him unable to have the courage to go back into the world.

Samantha was even surprised by the fact that he even came to save her; after all, through the hundreds of years since we went on this island to look for him, never once did he save another person, nor had we caught even a whiff of his presence even from the adventurers that roam this land.

It's as if he has been intentionally avoiding people.

Turning around and looking at Samantha, I asked, "By the way, if people can only enter this place once a year when the night is twice as long and the day is twice as short, doesn't that mean that we can only leave once a year? Looking at the outside, I think that time has yet to come, so let's go back and wait" as I walked back, trying to run deeper and never return to the outskirts again.

Sadly, Samantha broke my hope of going back with her following sentence, "Actually, the restriction only applies to entering the place. It does not apply to exiting".

With my quick wits, I immediately thought of another excuse to delay the plan to leave, "Well, are you hungry because I am, so take a seat and let's have a quick bite before leaving".

A smile and a slight chuckle escaped from Samantha's mouth, "but liches do not need to eat, and I have been eating on the way here, so not hungry."

"Well, then the journey here was a long and arduous one. Let's rest here first before continuing," I countered, hoping that she would get my meaning and let me take my time to leave this place.

Looking at the innocent face with a mischievous grin, my heart sank as I knew that she wouldn't be letting me off.

And I was right, "but sir, don't liches not get tired, and as for me, I don't have a single sweat on my body so… I'm not tired," teased Samantha.

Seeing that she was having fun about it and not listening to words, I decided to use the option. Force.

I released a bit of my aura, pressuring her while talking to her as if it was an order, "We are resting now!"

Dauntless pressure pressed onto Samantha while her face turned pale to fright at the power released turned back into a docile cat as she nodded her head and sat down.

Taking deep breaths as I suppressed my aura, I apologised, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you; you must understand that it has been a long time since I went out. Let me rest and make some mental preparations before leaving".

With a stomp of my feet, I cast a dispel spell again before Samantha voluntarily left my hand and moved to the furthest end from me without speaking a word.

As I moved closer to her, fearing that some beast might harm her.

However, as if sensing my movement toward her, she bottom shuffle away from me with each step I take.

Sadly, she did not bottom shuffle a step backwards when I took a step back.

Knowing that she just needed space, I sat down in silence and waited, content with the silence as I did my favourite pastime, staring blankly at the sky. Forgetting about Primordial Demon's words of kicking me out of the island in 3 days with God knows how he will be telling the time in a place where the sun doesn't shine.

The silence continued till Samantha spoke again, "I…I understand that you like it here because most of them are mindless beast that knows nothing of your past, and even if you kill/hurt them, you won't feel any guilt knowing that you must have killed a heinous villain".

"…" I continued to stay silent, knowing that what she said was right.

"But, it's been ten thousand years, and though you have been known as the destroyer of worlds, I personally think that there are many worse criminals out there than you are out there and throughout history", continues Samantha before pausing again to either wait for an answer from me or trying to think and phrase her sentences.

"…" Still, I remain silent, not knowing what to say or do.

"I know that as a person that embraced the darkness, you would have a higher tendency to care more about yourself than others which is good for you, I believe, after all, from what I have heard about you from books and records made by my ancestors, you used to be running around the continent saving people and helping those in need without giving yourself time to rest. But you never complained that it was hard, grumbled about the long journey it would take or complained about the task. Instead, you always had a smile on your face telling people that you like to help them and enjoy doing so despite you being a rising star or being high ranking" Samantha stopped again, but this time she turned around, allowing me to see her teary eyes and rosy cheeks on her face as white as snow, giving it a mesmerising view to look at.

This time, facing me, she asked, "Is there any good left inside you? There are many people waiting for you on the other side and many more that needs your help", staring at me with a lingering hope that I would give her the answer she wants to hear.