I nearly ran onto the dance floor then and there. Thankfully, Mother still had a hand on my arm and gently guided me to a small group of her dear friends and those of their daughters who weren't dancing.
As Mother, Fernillia, and I settled in with the other ladies, my eyes were again drawn to Harford Convarta. I took a moment to examine the girl in his arms. She was tall and slim, with fair hair and skin that set off his darker complexion and black hair. She was elegant and poised in a low-cut gown of emerald green. I felt a strange and sudden dislike for her.
Such jealousy was a new feeling for me. I was usually the calm, peaceful, good-natured one in the family. It took quite a bit to upset me and even then, I avoided contention like day-old fish stew.
Happily for my envious little heart, the dance soon ended and he escorted the beautiful young lady back to her parents on the far side of the ballroom.
"Ah, are you watching him too?" my friend Anassia asked, her dark eyes twinkling. "Everyone is talking about his appearance tonight. No one expected him to show. I mean, this is the first ball he has attended all year. And of course, his first dance was with Mistress Jenkava Ildasan."
"Who is she?"
Anassia scoffed. "Just the most beautiful, highly connected, and wealthiest young lady available for marriage this year."
"Oh. I have never seen her before."
"Tonight is her debut. She is a niece of the family holding the ball, I believe. Methinks it is no coincidence that he made his first appearance of the year tonight, you know. He and Mistress Ildasan are rumored to have been childhood playmates."
"Oh." I wilted a little. "I see." If he was already romantically involved with someone, how could he be an important part of my life? And yet, my heart had never led me astray before.
I was not going down without at least attempting to meet him. Standing, I squared my shoulders and prepared to stride across the ballroom to where he stood in conversation with a large group of mostly men. I straightened my gown, wondering if the higher neckline that covered my own abundant curves was a mistake, but I pushed that thought away. If his only interest was in my body, I had no use for him.
Still, before I moved, I turned back to Anassia. "How do I look? Is my hair still in place?" I asked.
She smiled. "You look beautiful, as always. I love what that gown does for your figure. I thought the higher neckline was a mistake, but you were right. It just makes you look classier."
"Thank you." I reached out and gave her hands a squeeze before turning back to my quarry. "Where did he go?" I gasped.
Somehow, in the few moments I was turned away, Harford Convarta had relocated. I scanned the ballroom and found his dark figure vanishing out the main doors. He was leaving already? But we had not even had the opportunity to meet. He had not even seen me.
I collapsed back on the seat next to Anassia with a frown. "I missed him," I whispered, more to myself than to her.
Thankfully, she was not paying attention. She had started talking over Harford's attendance on the lovely Mistress Ildasan with Fernillia, who sat on her other side. I took a moment to compose myself, then joined in with as much fake enthusiasm as I could muster.
The rest of the evening passed more slowly and torturously than most balls. When we finally arrived at home, I hurried through my bedtime routine and tucked myself into the window seat, searching the park for the familiar figure. Would he come tonight after his foray into public?
An hour passed before I gave up and headed to bed. I lay in bed for another hour plotting how I was going to orchestrate our meeting. I was not generally considered a patient person and I felt that 8 months was quite long enough to wait.
A great many ideas passed through my mind, most of them completely untenable. I could not show up at his uncle's home and request an audience with him without destroying my reputation. Likewise, I could think of no proper way of sneaking out of the house to meet him at the park.
Besides, I wanted our first meeting to be one that would leave him with a positive impression of me.
The longer I considered, the more dramatic my ideas became. I fell asleep wondering if my parents would charge him to find me if I lost myself in the woods.
After a restless night dreaming about being chased through the trees by wild animals, I woke up still unsure how I was going to arrange a meeting with Harford Convarta.
Mother had a busy day planned, which helped distract me. We needed to get new gowns for the largest, grandest ball of the year. Just after harvest, while the upper working class families of Middawin and the lower working class families of the Edges celebrated with bonfires and street festivals, the ridge folk held a grand costume ball.
I chose to dress as the night sky in a gown of black with small brightstones sewn across the gown, including a few of my favorite constellations. The long sleeves and neckline would be edged in delicate silver lace.
At Mother's insistence, the gown was to have a wider neckline than I usually wore, though I convinced the dressmaker to keep the front higher and lower the back. It would be form fitting down to my waist, then the wide skirt would fall in delicate folds to the floor.
Satisfied with my costume, I watched as Mother and Fernillia chose theirs. Mother and Father would dress as fairies in grand outfits with beautiful wings attached to their backs. Fernillia had designed a dress that would, with her dark hair and bright blue eyes, make her look quite like Jestina, the heroine of one of the more popular books making rounds through all the upper strata parlors right now. She would, as always, look completely stunning. I only hoped that my costume might capture the attention of a certain wild man, assuming he attended the harvest ball.