"Alright, let's leave the chitchat to the young ones, shall we."
We were enjoying a pleasant lighthearted talk, when the duke suddenly raised that. And so, the duke, the duchess and my parents left the room, leaving only the two of us inside.
Anastasia gazed at me apologetically.
"Would you like to take a stroll to the garden with me? Our garden is nothing compared to the one owned by the House of Sevensworth, but you can enjoy the magnificent flowers of Sithis, which I believe doesn't bloom in the capital."
I invited Lady Anastasia to the garden.
"Oh my. Blooming Sithis, is it? I look forward to that."
She replied with a smile, so I offered my arm to escort her.
I had been doing my business with nobles and merchants for several years already, so
I was inclined to believe that I was a lot better now when it comes to inviting the ladies.
"Lord Zhinorius. There is something I want to say to you."
She broke the ice halfway through our stroll, as if waiting for the moment when our conversation tapered off.
"In that case, I will have tea prepared for us in the gazebo over there. Let us continue there."
Some of the servants were on standby in a place a bit farther from us. I requested them to prepare the tea.
"So, may I know what you want to talk about?"
I ordered the servants to retreat some distance away after their preparations, and I encouraged her to talk again once they were out of earshot.
"I am very sorry, Lord Zhinorius. Father was the one who arbitrarily decided on this engagement. I will talk to Father and do something about this, so please give me some time."
Lady Anastasia rose from her seat. She took her skirt with both hands and performed an elegant curtsy before me, bowing her head with grace.
It was captivatingly charming and her actions exuded refinement, as expected of a daughter of the duke.
"Are you perhaps telling me that we will cancel the engagement?"
I asked Lady Anastasia after she sat down again.
"Indeed."
That was her reply.
Wait, so maybe she was already in love with someone else?
I tried to clear it with her.
"I see. Do you have someone else in your heart, perhaps?"
"Certainly not. There is no one like that."
Lady Anastasia replied, seemingly upset.
She was apparently telling the truth, based on her expression.
Then, there's only one reason, I guess.
"In that case, it really is my fault. Please pardon me for my crudeness. I am not experienced with women."
I was a kimomen in my previous life, but my heart was probably kimomen through and through, too.
In this world, I learned how to skillfully deal with women who were work associates and relatives, but when it came to love and marriage, my fatal flaws would still float up, huh.
"No. There's no way that is true."
"It's alright, there is no need to be so considerate. I fully understand how crude I am when it comes to women. If you don't mind, can you please point out my issues and problems for me? I want to understand my shortcomings."
"No, you are truly an outstanding person. Oh dear, why on earth did you arrive at such a conclusion?"
Still, I tried to get her to answer by all possible means, but I couldn't glean any information from her regarding my flaws till the end.
I wouldn't be able to improve, then.
"It might sound presumptuous coming from me, but my parents love me very deeply. If the time comes that Lord Zhinorius falls for another woman, my parents will do everything in their power to ruin you. Mother, in particular, is the younger sister of His Majesty, and he dotes on her extremely, enough for him to turn into a totally different man just for her sake. His Majesty will be furious if she comes running to him in tears. Mother's power is absolute. If in case they didn't immediately ruin you when you have an affair with another woman, they will do so after turning the tables against your parents. My mother's influence will not cease until the time His Majesty abdicates, so it will continue on for twenty years, at the very least."
What's with this abrupt topic?
There was no way I would cheat on her, though.
There were some people among my acquaintances who betrayed their partners and divorced later on, but not a single one of them became happy in the end.
Those who didn't get married with their lovers remain single until old age, while those who remarried their affair partner found themselves in another divorce right when they already reached a ripe old age. Their partners took off with their retirement money, so they ended up being destitute bachelors.
I know firsthand how miserable it was to grow old as a bachelor.
In the first place, I truly believed that it was impossible for someone to become happy with the kind of woman who snatches and messes with what wasn't hers.
That's why I absolutely never dreamed of having an affair.
I already had enough of a solitary bachelor life.
It didn't matter who it was.
I just want to be with someone.
And this someone was like Lady Anastasia - calm, elegant and kind - I couldn't ask for more.
"Ahm, pardon me, but why are you saying these things? I don't have the slightest inclination of having an affair."
I posed that question to Lady Anastasia.
"Then all the more reason for you not to be engaged to me. Father told me that you are a clever man. I can attest to that fact, now that I met you personally today. You have an excellent appearance and are skillful with conversations. I can see how attentive you are. You are a very kind person. If having an affair didn't even cross your mind, then Lord Zhinorius, you truly are such a gem, and many women will definitely be attracted to you. So it would be a tragedy if you have to be tied to someone like me."
Hmm? Tragedy?
This person... is she carrying some kind of problem?
"Pardon my rudeness, I am aware that it might be something very difficult to discuss, but Lady Anastasia, do you have any problems that you are carrying right now? If
it's alright with you, maybe I can help with it."
Lady Anastasia was dumbfounded when I said those words.
Mmm, seems like both of us weren't on the same page since earlier.
"Thank you very much, but this is a hopeless case."
She giggled as she replied.
"As for my problem, I am referring to my appearance. This unsightly appearance is detestable and it will be such a pity to be tied to me, don't you think? Moreover, my parents hold tremendous power, so the groom could never turn to another woman. Only a miserable fate awaits the person who would marry me, if we think from the side of the man who will become my partner."
Ahh. I finally understood now.
So Lady Anastasia was concerned about her appearance, huh.
I didn't care about that, and I was far more concerned about my poor relationship skills, especially regarding love, so I wasn't even conscious about that.
"I'm considering telling my parents to adopt a son, and let him be the heir of the Sevensworth dukedom. They haven't given up on searching for a marriage partner for me, but give it 10 years or so, and they would no longer hope for it. That's why you do not have to lend me a hand, Lord Zhinorius. Time will solve everything."
No, no, nothing would be solved with that.
The family problem might be solved, yes, but how do you plan to obtain your happiness, Lady Anastasia?
You're just heading towards growing old in solitude.
Ahh.
Maybe she was the type who already thought that she wouldn't obtain happiness in marriage?
I heard many of the high-ranking nobilities
were like that, because theirs were political marriages done out of convenience.
"Perhaps...you are thinking that you will not be happy in marriage?"
"Happiness in marriage...is it. I never thought of that. I look like this, so I already gave up on being married long ago."
Lady Anastasia then smiled sadly.
I felt like my heart was being squeezed painfully when I saw that smile.
That's when it hit me.
This girl was just like the 'me' in my previous
life.
She was just like me, a person who wasn't treated as a human just because I was ugly.
That smile that was the exact same way I smiled before.
I also made that smile, the one that showed the extent of hopelessness in all things.
My chest felt hot, as if boiling hot magma came crashing like a tsunami within me.
"...Please do not give up."
"Eh?"
"Please do not give up! So what if the face is ugly!? The structure is just different from other people, isn't it? So why do you have to give everything up just because of that face!? Don't give up! Don't give up on being happy! YOU CAN ALSO BE HAPPY! IT'S ALSO OKAY FOR YOU TO DREAM OF BEING HAPPY!!! IT'S ALSO OKAY FOR YOU TO DREAM OF BEING HAPPY!!! THAT'S WHY DON'T SMILE LIKE THAT, AS IF YOU ALREADY GAVE UP! YOUR LIFE'S JUST ABOUT TO START NOW, GOT IT!"
When I came to myself, I realized that I had grabbed Lady Anastasia by her shoulders and was gripping her tightly. Tears had welled in my eyes, threatening to fall any moment as I fervently declared those words.
I had all the time in the world to contemplate my life once I became an old man.
If I had only believed those words, then maybe the outcome would have been different. Maybe I didn't have to become a wretched man.
My days passed in regret for being such a cowardly man during my youth.
I had been projecting my yell of cheers to my previous self towards Lady Anastasia, 1 guess.
This girl was just like me, back when I didn't know anything about the misery and loneliness of an old person living in solitude.
The years I spent from the compulsory retirement at the age of 60 until the day I died was already as long as raising a child into adulthood.
She didn't have an inkling yet about the pain of isolation of an old person, the seemingly never-ending days of suffering.
I would definitely wallow in regret if I didn't manage to stop someone from trying to walk on the thorny path of such a life.
I never cared for her appearance or figure, right from the start.
I never wanted to become like those people who discriminate against others just because of how they looked.
Besides, I knew how beauty was fleeing, and people spent more than half of their lifetime with faded beauty.
Rather than that, character and compatibility was far more important for me when looking for someone to spend my entire life with, until our hair turned white.
And she was truly excellent, much more than I hope for, in this aspect.
There was no reason for me to cancel this engagement.
And more than anything, I couldn't suppress my feelings of wanting to save her from such misery.
"I want you to let me be the instrument to bring happiness in your entire life."
I knelt on the ground, took her hand and planted a kiss on it.
It had already been 16 years since I started my life as the viscount's son.
I had already kissed the back of my sister and relative's hand countless times, so I was already used to it.
"Marry me. I promise that I will make you happy. So don't give up on your own happiness."
Her white skin was rapidly turning into crimson, and the green colored deepened.
"..Ye... yes..."
Lady Anastasia's cheeks were flushed as she replied hesitantly.
"Thank you."
I was over the moon when she seemed to have changed her perspective, even if it was just a little bit, so I got carried away and embraced her tightly.
"Ehem, ehem."
We turned towards the direction of the loud coughs - the Duke of Sevensworth was right there, clearing his throat.
The duchess, my parents, and even the servants and guards were all there, too.
The guards looked like they were ready to take me down by force anytime.
Apparently, all of them were alarmed when they heard me screaming at the top of my lungs, so they hastily rushed towards us.
Raising your voice while having a conversation with a fellow aristocrat was already considered abnormal behavior here.
I hurriedly let go of Lady Anastasia in a fluster, and immediately returned to my seat in the gazebo.
Lady Anastasia also realized that everyone witnessed how she had been hugged so tightly in public. The white portion of her skin turned even a deeper shade of red, just like a cooked lobster, and she hid her face in her hands.
How embarrassing.
Hugging a lady during the first meeting, grabbing her shoulders all of these were an extreme breach of etiquette. -
It was not something the fourth son of a viscount should do to a daughter of the duke.
"Please show some restraint."
The duke coldly glared at me.
"Yes! I humbly apologize for my rudeness!" learnestly said sorry.
"Well, well. Isn't it fine? Even Ana is really glad to be so passionately wooed."
The duchess said to the duke.
"That's the problem."
The duchess giggled when the duke turned away and crossly muttered.