When a law was made, it had based itself on nothing at all. Now a new law is in full swing to ban all the illegal potteries on Nova Solis, a baby planet who got its name for just being close to the sun of the NGC 6745 galaxy. Somewhere in the outskirt, a human field inspector from Wally Corp just stepped into a massive warehouse, where he suspected all the contraband goods can be stored. A 8-feet-tall wheeled robot inventory manger halloed him as it waltzed towards gate
"Roaringly splendid to have you here Mr Van de Bogen, you should have sent words to us about your visit so we can have some exquisite European snacks pre-prepared" a rather vibrant young male voice escaped that machine
"Tally ho your oily metal trash, serve me some tea and conduct me through these…these massive shelves" the inspector said contemptuously while slightly holding up his enormous head and looking around.
"Assuredly,sir! Black tea or Chinese green tea, sir?"
"what type of Chinese tea ya have,I bet it not some green powdery stuff mixed with water, innit?" asked the inspector seriously, looking desperate and hopeful alike
"well...… sir, guess what,it's the Chinese West lake Lang Zing!a stab into the dark, your are having the latest Prostaff 7.0 Riese a suo servizio" the Robot said with full of cadence in its language
"Chinese West Lake Lang Zing! " exclaimed the inspector,and for the first time his shuttered eyes opened wide as if he were talking to a real human.
'Lo and behold,sir!' the giant robot opened up its iron tummy and an uniquely styled Chinese teaware was there, exhibited quite orderly.
Then a pair of very small but delicate electronic hands reached out from its tummy and sprinkled a little of that Long Zing leaves into a brownish red tea pot with boiling water spontaneously poured into it from a inset faucet; the Robot handed him a cupful and quite calmly it asked
'where were we,sir?'
'em....refreshing.....em ...okay, Robot, let´s get started, from this shelf and all way to the the other end, i wanna see them all, with no exception' a grunt of surprise escaped him as he took some quick sips.
'as you wish sir, but something i should remind you of, its gonna be a little..... turbulent '
"turbulent?what do you mean by turbulent?"
" there is a ladder on my back that leads to the top of my head,climb over!"
As the inspector clumsily reached the top of this wheeled iron cast, he found a rather bulky hollowness, and with no second thought, he flung his fat ass into it
"Now i can see much better, and i do NOT have to move no more" he shouted ecstatically ,holding on to a hand grip
"yes you do sir, but as i said, it's gonna be a little turbulent"
A sudden force of uplift went whoosh and pushed the man almost 6 story high, of what gave him a sheer heart attack; a reminiscence of once familiar childhood playground jumping machine caught him,but just this time the design was completely erred and it has zero buffer zone.
"this is insane,Robot, let me down!... its too damn high" cried the inspector ,clutching onto the hand grip
"no panicking sir, it's gonna be quite easy from now on, or you can try the other way around, slow ascension but quicker jump" replied the robot
"i am....i am fine with this!" bawled the inspector as he wiped off the sweats dripping down his forehead
"let's get this done quickly" he added
"i am afraid it's kind of..... impossible, we have 27 shelves in total, and that will cost you at least 3 hours,i am afraid"
"so cut your crap, and move it!" he seemed to be on tenterhooks.
The inspector then browsed through the items to and fro.
The first shelf took him almost 30 minutes,and yet there were nothing but some wood planks, army boots, and bottles of wine and whiskey.
Two more shelves he saw mostly umbrellas and suntan lotions and other bums except for an array of naught night attires which he assumed belong to those brain-dead party throwers in town then he asked for a another cup of tea.
"Dat is too slow,too foekken slow,i figure i'll just do the sample survey, and this time let's start from the back,shall we?" required the inspector with a bit of his accent thrown in, and it's already an hour passed.
"Surely, you can, but aren't you hungry, sir" the giant robot asked while reaching out his long steel arms and gently tabbed onto the man's growling stomach.
"...A little bit, what do you still have?"
"Well some cakes i suppose"
"Give me some of that!"
On the last shelf next to the wall he saw a ghastly but quite stirring view, a whole bedroom of wenches were getting dressed and the scent of whom enfolded him almost spontaneously. The whole room was messy but delicate in a way.
He could see those gold and silver tinsels around their necks and around their arms, all dazzling with the smiles on their pretty lips;an infantile skinned wench was slowly putting her legs into a pair of red stockings, and another one was rustling her skirt just to show off its dandyish foofaraws; and he could almost see those fancy lingerie from those half-closed cabinet drawers, then he begun to wonder what else could be in there, and whatever they are, they can easily smoke out the satyric nature of all men alive.Upon the closet are some colorful balloons, cunningly knotted and twisted into a startling array of tits and bums, from where he couldn't move away his fiery curious eyes again.
Then the blood in his vein began to throb.
"who are these girls?" he had a bit of animal thrown in his tone
"well, abuse of the toffs i guess" the Robot replied plainly
"i think.... i will have a little wrestling with them!" he smiled triumphantly as he lifted his massive torso with his arms, and leaped onto the shelf with a "Pong!"
"i am afraid it's a little bit against the rule sir" the robot said gloomily
"You have done quite a sterling job Robot,I think the inspection is over, ...and...and i will brief to my boss that this warehouse harbors nothing but some healthy humor, now you can leave my foekken sight, you hear me,Robot,oprotten!"
With magic of that cake in his system, Mr Van de Bogen was literally over the rainbow. He said that last dutch word again to these wenches,but this time with a horridly longer rhotic "r"
"Op-rrrrrrrrotten, MEANS, to get de FOEK.....Out of HERE!!!"
Then he jumped into that big velvet bed....
Another good hour passed, the Robot found him still lying on the bed smoking a cigarette. Like a huge sweating mound of blubber,he pushed away the girl who hugged him one sided and yelled peevishly.
"What the hell was in that cake?"
"well, i guess you should call it "Space cake",and i am afraid to tell you sir, what happened in this here are all taped" the robot said casually
"Ya cheeky bastard, since when you lots are gaining on us! I'll sue you for food poisoning and for...for.... obstructing investigation, then i will brief to my boss and ask him to send more men here because i smelled something rather fishy here, in this bloody warehouse, after all it's in in a rotten borough, and a rotten borough is the best place to harbor contraband!" he snarled at the top of his voice
"Yes, sir, you have all the rights to think like that, but your situation,in my reading,is simply weightier;those who above you as i guess will probably deem you as an embarrassing weed and find someone to replace you most imperatively if they see you and these girls on the tape, and your family, well.....we don't like to go this far at the moment,don't we;now if i were you, i would simply leave here at dogtrot and pretend that nothing had ever happened and ...never come back again! Then,Sir, we shall call it a truce,shall we?"
A presentiment of frustration and disaster defected the man and made him speechless at once. He couched there and pondered for minutes, during the time he still couldn't help but have his eyes occasionally fallen onto the rubber tits and bums upon the wardrobe , and finally he spoke languidly "get me out of here,Robot! And i am thirsty?"
"sure sir, that's what i am talking about!"
After a trip to the dozeyland, Mr Van de Bogen was having a hard time climbing into his vehicle outside the warehouse, which looked like a 6-feet-tall footed cylindrical crystal jar with a lid on it. After two or three attempts,he manged to fling himself into that thing. In a few seconds the lid turned coloring and then whooshed off with much flame and noise.
Back inside the warehouse, the robot stopped at somewhere between the tall shelves in the middle section. It was not moving at all and perfectly bent down,looked as if it was chopped down. From its iron tummy jumped out a man in mechanic suit, ahead of him was a startling exhibiting of miscellaneous ceramic wares and fine Chinese potteries. Then he muttered to something resembling a radio transmitter on his head "Guang, listen,we have to find ourselves a buyer ASAP, these things can stay here for too long."
"I saw everything, don't worry,Ray, i' handle it, by the way,thanks for watching my butt"
"that's all i can do buddy, i shall fly to the east end tonight and leave it to you from tomorrow"
"looking forward to your good news, and remember to brief me the progress"
"definitely,i will, see you my friend"