"Oh, my dear, are you alright?" asked Ernest as he walked back into the hospital room as he saw Natasha get out of the hospital bed.
"I am fine Grandfather" replied Natasha as she turned to look at Ernest, she had wiped away all her tears, she could not let Ernest see that she was feeling horrible right now.
"Are you sure my dear? I just the Doctor walk out" said Ernest.
"Grandfather, I am alright, I just want to go home right now" said Natasha as she turned away and she quickly wiped her eyes as she turned back to look at Ernest.
"Alright dear, let's go" said Ernest as he smiled and he held Natasha's hand as she followed after him and they walked out of the hospital room into the hallway.
Natasha could not think straight, she was not in the right frame of mind right now, she knew that she was ruined, she was more than ruined, she was destroyed, she would have preferred to be sick than pregnant at this point.
She did not know what she was going to do, after she had finished crying, the Doctor had asked her if there was a particular reason that she was unhappy about being pregnant, Natasha could not say anything, she had lost her voice, as if she had become mute, she was just so stressed, all she could do in the end was to open her mouth and assure the Doctor that she was alright.
She was sure that the Doctor did not believe her, but she did not want to seem pushy, she just let her be as she reminded her to come in for her antenatal check-ups, and that if she wanted to changer to her own Doctor that would be fine as well.
"My dear…" called Ernest as he looked at Natasha.
"My dear… Natasha… are you alright?" asked Ernest as she called out to her once again as she finally snapped out of her thoughts and she turned to look at him.
"I am alright Grandfather" said Natasha.
Natasha looked out of the car window, she did not even notice when they got in the car, she was just so absent minded.
"Are you sure my dear? You seem absent minded" said Ernest as he looked worried.
"I am fine Grandfather, I am just tired, that's all" said Natasha as Ernest could see that she really looked tired.
"Alright dear, if you say so" said Ernest as he smiled at her and Natasha just looked back out the window as the car moved.
"Dear, if you feel so tired, why don't you just come home with me?" asked Ernest as he smiled.
"No Grandfather, I want to go back to the dorms" said Natasha.
"But I will be able to look after you better at home" said Ernest.
"There is no need for that Grandfather, I am alright, besides, I have an early class tomorrow" said Natasha.
"But tomorrow is Saturday dear" said Ernest.
"I know Grandfather, but one of the Professors missed the class that was supposed to be on Wednesday due to traffic, so he moved it to early tomorrow morning" said Natasha as she was telling Ernest the truth.
"Oh alright dear, you can stay in the dorms" said Ernest as he sighed.
"Grandfather, can we stop at the Pharmacy?" asked Natasha.
"Alright dear, we can, but why?" asked Ernest.
"I feel a headache coming on, and I want to buy some painkillers" said Natasha as she looked at Ernest.
"Does it feel serious dear?" asked Ernest.
"No, not too serious Grandfather, I just want to get some painkillers before It gets worse" said Natasha.
"Alright dear" said Ernest.
"Drive to the nearest pharmacy now" said Ernest as he looked at his driver.
"Yes Sir" said the driver as he nodded his head and he turned to the right.
Natasha just remained looking out the window, seeing the people and cars pass by.
…
"We are here Sir" said the driver as the car came to a stop and he looked at Ernest through the rear-view mirror.
"Alright" said Ernest as he nodded his head.
"Dear, would you like me to go in and buy the painkillers for you?" asked Ernest as he looked at Natasha and he smiled.
"No Grandfather, I can go myself" said Natasha as she looked at Ernest.
"Alright dear, have my credit card" said Ernest as he smiled and he gave Natasha his credit card.
"Thank you Grandfather" said Natasha as she took the credit card from Ernest and Ernest smiled as she opened the car door and she walked into the pharmacy.
A few minutes later.
Natasha walked out of the pharmacy with a clear plastic in her hand and she got into the car as he gave Ernest his credit card.
"Did you buy the painkillers?" asked Ernest as he smiled.
"Yes Grandfather" said Natasha as she showed him what was in the plastic bag.
"Alright dear, let's get you back to the dorms" said Ernest as he smiled and he helped Natasha buckle her seatbelt as she closed her eyes and she took a deep breath as the car began to move.
…
"We have arrived Sir" came the voice of the driver as he stopped the car in front of a little gate.
"Alright then" said Ernest as he smiled and he turned to look at Natasha.
"Are you sure that you want to stay alone dear, you can still come home with me?" asked Ernest as he smiled.
"I am fine Grandfather, I will not be alone" said Natasha as she did not want Ernest insisting anymore, so she removed her seatbelt.
"Thank you for bringing me here Grandfather, I am tired now, I will go and rest, see you later" said Natasha as she smiled and she gave Ernest a kiss on his cheek.
"Alright dear, I will call you later" said Ernest as he smiled.
"Okay Grandfather" said Natasha as she smiled and she got out of the car as she waved at Ernest once again and she walked to the dorms as she heard the car drive away.
Natasha walked into the dorms as she turned to the first corner on the right and she opened the door to her room as she walked into her room and she closed the door behind her as the smile on her face dropped and she sighed as she rested her back on the door.
Natasha threw the bag of painkillers on the bed as she locked the door and tears began to drop from her eyes once again.
Natasha walked to the corner as she sat on the floor and she held her knees as she began to sob, she did not care at all she just wanted to cry, besides, she knew that she would be alone, her roommate had gone home as she took a break from school, so Natasha had been living in this room alone.
"Why???" asked Natasha to herself as she cried.
"Why me??" asked Natasha to herself as she cried.
"Why me?? I didn't ask for this, I don't want this, No" said Natasha out loud as she cried.
All her emotions came pouring out, she was scared, tired, alone, regretful, fearful, anxious, all bad emotions were coming back to her right now, she had tried to be strong, to act like nothing was wrong and that she was fine so Ernest would not notice anything, but it was just to hard.
"I don't want to be a mother, I don't want to, I don't want you baby" cried Natasha as she looked down at her belly, to think that there was a baby growing in there, living… it killed her on the inside, she could not take care of it.
The sheer shame and abuse that she would receive from everyone would kill her, this was just too much for her, why her?? She was sure that many other women had slept with countless of men and they didn't get pregnant, then why her?? Why her when she had only done it once, and she was not even aware of it, Natasha just felt so forsaken right now.
She could not talk to her Father because she still had not told him about what happened between her and Dom, she had hidden it from him, and she could not tell Pete since he had warned her before she had gotten married to Dom, and well she did not need his scolding right now, she could not tell anyone since they would look at her like a dubious woman who had done this on purpose when she didn't, all her friends, all of them, they were on Dom's side, no one was on her side, no one at all.
"Ugh, I am just so tired of everything, why do I have to suffer like this?" asked Natasha as she cried even more, she removed the hair band that she used to tie her hair in a ponytail as her long hair came falling down.
"I don't wan it, I don't" said Natasha to herself as she cried and she buried her head in her knees, she could not think of anything better to do than to cry, she felt like dying right now, her life was ruined, and worst of all Dom would say that he was right all along.
Natasha just sat there and cried, until she had no more tears left, she did not know when the sun went down, all she did was cry, until her throat was dry and her eyes were dry as well.
Natasha sniffed as she stood up, and she walked to the bathroom as she switched on the lights, she stood in front of the mirror as she looked at her reflection, she turned the faucet as cold, cool water came out and she splashed it on her face as she grabbed her towel from the rack and she dried her face.
As Natasha stood there, looking in the mirror, she saw her red eyes, her red nose, and her messy hair that was rough and scattered everywhere, she had calmed down, she had finally stopped crying, mainly because she had no more tears left to cry.
Natasha hanged her towel back on the rack as she looked down and she looked through the right pocket of her shorts as she brought out a small orange vial with a white cover.
Natasha quickly opened the container as she popped four pills into her right hand, she looked at the pills, she only had one thought in mind, she had to get rid of this baby, it would bring her nothing but heartache and ridicule, she was only twenty, she still had so much more things to do with her life, she had school, she had a life, she didn't want to be a mother.
Natasha looked at herself in the mirror once again and she looked down… she was hesitant… she didn't want the baby but… but something told her not to do what she wanted to do.
"I don't want it" said Natasha.
"But I can't get rid of it… it's… it's Dom's baby, he deserves to know" said Natasha as she sighed.
"But I can't take care of it… I can't" said Natasha to herself as she looked at the pills in her hands, she had a clear choice here, she could do what she wanted to do and pretend like this never happened or… or she could save a life… the life of an innocent child who did nothing at all to be deserved to be gotten rid of… the baby didn't do anything to her, no it didn't.
The more Natasha hesitated, the more she had doubts, she had second thoughts, something told her it was wrong, even though she had every right to get rid of the baby, it didn't deserve that, and she would be harming herself in the process.
Natasha was never one to change her mind when she took a decision, but right now, at this moment, she knew that she should not do it.
"Ugh, Natasha, stop this… you will regret it" said Natasha, her head was saying one thing, but her heart was saying another thing.
"*Sigh*" said Natasha as she sighed, she walked to the toilet as she poured the pills in her hand into it, and she dumped the rest of the pills that were in the container as well into the toilet, she did not want to change her mind and end up taking them.
Natasha flushed the toilet as she watched all the pills go down, she threw the container in her hand in the trash, and she turned the bathroom faucet again as she splashed water on her face again, and she dried her hands, she looked in the mirror once more as she hoped that she was making the right choice.
Natasha dried her face as she walked out of the bathroom and she sat on her bed.
"You deserve to live don't you?" asked Natasha as she looked down at her belly and she placed her hands on her flat belly, she still could not believe that a baby was growing in there, a full baby, her baby… she had mixed feelings, she could not say that she was happy, she was sad, very sad.
"Natasha get yourself together… you won't be the first twenty year old to get pregnant, and neither will you be the last" said Natasha as she sighed, she had to find a way forward, maybe she could give the baby up for adoption when it was born, but she knew that it would be impossible.
"You just need to breathe… breathe" said Natasha as she took deep breaths and she closed her eyes.
"Baby… I will keep you, but please don't blame me… don't blame me like everyone else does" said Natasha as she sighed.
"Your Father hates me, it's my fault, why did I even make dinner that day?" asked Natasha as she was in regret right now.
"I'm a mess, and I don't want you to be a mess with me too" said Natasha.
"I guess that I am crazy now as well, I am talking to you, while you can't even hear me" said Natasha as she scoffed, she had really lost it now.
"What do you think I should do baby? Should I run? Should I keep you a secret?" asked Natasha, she could have kept the baby a secret, because her belly was not showing at all, she would just avoid everyone till the baby was born, that was a good idea, right??
"You think your Father deserves to know don't you?" asked Natasha as she rubbed her belly, she felt like was being comforted while sitting here alone… talking to the baby developing in her.
"You know what, there is no point hiding you… if I want to keep you, then you don't deserve to be hidden, but your Father… well, he's a jerk" said Natasha as she laughed.
"He's a jerk but I love him anyway, and I hate myself for that, I try to hate him, but I understand his anger, I do" said Natasha.
"You know what baby… I know what to do" said Natasha as she sighed.
"Just trust me, and please help me to trust myself" said Natasha as she laid on her bed as she sighed and she closed her eyes.