"Wake up" I shivered.
"Honey, wake up" I blinked hard, my sight was blinded at first but slowly the room around me started to brighten up. Mom?
As embarassing as it was to do this as a 19 year old, I got up from bed in an instant and pulled her into a hug. I feel my throat closing, a tightness around it that was making it difficult for me to breathe. Ever since I was a kid, I had alot of interesting dreams and nightmares. This was the first time it was so realistic that it made my skin crawl.
I calmed down as she hesitantly patted my back. I felt the warmth through her hands and felt relief in the fact that it was only a dream. No matter how realistic dreams are, at the end of the day, they are only dreams.
"Had a nightmare?" She teased. She was just as surprised as I was. This wasn't like me at all. I pulled away awkwardly.
"Something like that"
"Go shower, I'll make you some breakfast before school" She smiled, her brown wavy hair slightly tangled and messy. Seems like she didn't get any sleep. It's not uncommon for her to work overtime for some extra money.
I nod as I lock the door and strip to hop in the shower. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. There's some improvement there for sure. Compared to middle school, I've lost alot of weight. I'm no longer the fat kid with the weird hair that people loved to pick on. It did help that apart from a few students, no one moved to the same high school as me. I flex my biceps with observation and turn to the side to reflect on my lean figure.
Even if it was the hardest thing I've ever done - consistently hitting the gym really paid off eventually. The gym to gain muscles and swimming to keep lean and fit.
I turn the knob and let the cold water snap me out of my discomfort from the dream. Now that it's been a while since I woke up, I've already forgotten a few details which I'm thankful for.
However, I still remember the men. A silvered eye man. Somewhere along the dream, I had ended up in a forest with Torin. I didn't see why or how I got there, but the man from my dreams was definitely unsettling. An x shaped scar down his eyebrow and cheek, golden glowing eyes. Claws that could cut open a throat.
I chuckled as I rubbed the soap in my hair, a constant source of my ridicule since middle school. What was so wrong with dark auburn? It's not like I had bright neon red.
I rinse off the soap and get out of the shower, resulting in a huge puddle of water at the floor. I grab a towel and wrap it around my waist, strutting in the room to find some clothes to put on. I put on a black shirt and jeans quickly to head down to breakfast. As soon as I rush down the stairs with my bag, the stench of alcohol hits me. I'm not startled by the familiar image of my dad sprawled across the dining table with an empty bottle in his hand.
"Work has just been stressful for him lately" Mom pitches in, noticing my judgement towards his behavior.
"It's stressful for you too" I mumble as I grab the buttered toast and chug down the orange juice. With half a toast hanging from my mouth, I check the time on my phone before rushing out the door. Mom follows me with the car keys and get's in the driver's seat.
"I think it's about time we get you a car of your own huh" She smiled. I had passed my driver's test a few weeks ago.
"I'll be living at the dorm in college anyway, I don't need it. Except tomorrow, I might" I hope she doesn't pry.
"It's a saturday so I probably won't go to work, you can take it. What's the occasion?"
I shrugged. I didn't want to tell her until I knew for sure. Tomorrow was prom and a week later was senior graduation. I would finally be done with high school crap.
No more forcing myself to talk and continuing conversations I'd rather abruptly end. No more smiling and pretending like I'm truly enjoying myself. I don't get along with many people. I can't tell if it's my personality or if it's a habit I carried from middle school.
"Is it a dateee?" She stretched it exaggeratively and I scratched the nape of my neck in discomfort.
I don't even know if she is going to say yes. Maybe she already has someone she's going with to prom. In that case, I might just skip it altogether.
I sigh.
"That bad huh? Is it love?" She snickers.
"Jesus, mom, would you stop" I groan in annoyance. I couldn't help the slight heat radiating from the top of my ears. I hated how obvious it made me look. Why did my ears have to be like this?
I did have to admit though, while she was always stressed and overworking, she never took it out on me. She always managed to communicate through all of it. That was something I admired and was grateful for.
I watched the blur of houses and buildings until we arrived at our destination. The sound of the bell ringing brought my attention back from zoning out and I rush to class.
.
.
I see the teacher talking but I refuse to let any of it enter my ear. I was too busy admiring a certain someone. Allison. Now while most guys have the impression that all popular girls have nothing of substance and are possibly whores. I've never seen someone as pure as her.
She was liked by everyone because she was tall, slim and pretty with those bright blue eyes. The real beauty of hers came from the fact that she smiled kindly at everyone with a little eye sparkle. One of those people happened to be me, once. We were coincidentally partners for a project and while I was shy and awkward with the bare minimum communication skills, she never made me realise that. I've often receieved strange looks, mostly when I prefer not to reply at all.
It's usually because I don't know what to say and sometimes because I genuinely wished to be left alone.
However, I did enjoy talking to her, more like, enjoyed hearing her talk. Oh boy, did she talk alot, with that shy smile of hers. Her voice was soft and sweet.
"..the answer of that would be? Jess?" My eyes locked on to the teacher immediately. Shit, I think she caught me looking at her, along with a few other kids in our class. At some point, I zoned out, i didn't mean to keep staring.
"Um.. what's the question again?" I cleared my throat, hoping to find some sort of clue on the whiteboard or my textbook. My textbook was closed shut.
There's no getting out of this embarassment for me. I will probably repeat this in my head for a long time, possibly 10 years. If I ever get to marry Allison, I hope we get to talk about this and laugh.
I ignore the few chuckles arising from the class.
"You tell me, I've asked you twice now" He was losing his patience.
"Sorry, I kind of zoned out." I had no other option but to be honest. A bout of laughter was again heard. Should I not have said that? I bet they're having a great time making fun of me. I groan internally. There is no way I can ask her out now. She'll reject me the minute she has a flashback to this scenario.
"Well then maybe the person who made you zone out could answer instead" My heart sped up so fast, I felt it leap out of my ears and splat on the textbook on my table. Oh no. Did he notice me staring at Allison? This is so embarassing. "Torin."
I look in confusion. Torin. He was sitting in the seat just behind Allison. I can't tell what's worse. The whole class thinking I'm gay for my best friend or that I like one of the most popular girls- who is completely out of my league.
Torin stuck his lips out and made a puckered kiss along with the noise. He somehow managed to make things worse for me. I am not surprised. What I was surprised by though, was the fact that he answered the question perfectly - something about the classification of nematodes.
After class I put my head down as I walk to my locker. I put away the books of the previous lesson and bring out the notes for the next one.
"Do you always eye rape me during your free time?" Torin pat my back hard enough that I almost went face first into my locker. I give him an expression of disbelief. I hope he was joking and didn't actually believe that I would do that.
"Relax, everyone knows you were staring at the pretty blonde girl. Look, she's coming right here, ask her out. Good luck" His voice turned into a whisper at the end as he turned around, heading into class.
We had 2 more periods untill lunch and then 2 more before the day would end. If I embarassed myself now, I'd have to wait that long before I could kill myself.
Just as he said, she walked past me, but she was with 2 of her friends.
Her locker wasn't far away, and she would take her sweet time getting her books aligned perfectly before leaving. As if god had heard my prayers, the friends told her they would meet her in class, whispering something before they left. I wonder if they mentioned me because she looked over for a second. I wish I could see her expression but it was covered by her hair.
I was wrong about losing weight being the hardest thing I've ever done. I breathe deeply to calm myself and walk over there in a cool manner. Yes, it's me, I totally didn't make a fool of myself 10 minutes ago. Want to go out?
"Hey Allison" I say. Was I being too awkward?
"Hey" She smiled brightly, as she usually does.
What should I say now?
..
Come on. Think of something.
"I was wondering about your plans for tomorrow night?" I hope it didn't sound creepy.
"I'm going to prom.. like everyone else?" She laughed.
"Y..yeah I know. I meant - "
"I don't have a partner, would you like to go with me?" There it was again. The shy twinkle in her eyes. I really liked that. My heart started beating faster.
"I'll forgive you for stealing my line" I nodded with a smile.
"I thought I'd spare you some effort" It sounded like she was saying, 'especially after what happened in class'. I couldn't stop the tip of my ears from turning slightly red. I think she noticed, judging by her small giggle.