"I feel like he cheated on me," Kat muttered, the alcohol slurring her words a little. Then she frowned. "But he can't really do that because he doesn't know we're mates, and he hasn't even met me yet so…"
In her rational mind, she knew what she was saying was the truth. He didn't know he was hers or that she was his. For all intent and purpose, he was a single, free man who could do anything – and anyone – he wanted. Hell, if she hadn't waited for so long to meet him---
Would things be different?
What if she'd walked up to him and he'd just pass her by like any other ordinary woman? It would break her heart all over again. She wasn't anyone special – other than being his mate. She wasn't pretty, confident, or had a body that could pull off the kind of outfit that Barbie could. She was barely average in height, average in weight --- ok, she might have become a little more than average, since she started eating regularly again. And regained her ability to bake all her favorites cookies. That did give her something that resembled a decent amount of junk in the trunk, and she wasn't flat upfront by any means – not anymore anyway.
But did her mate like women with a little less padding?
Judging how he and the skinny barbie got it on last night, she'd say no! Which had her anger flaring up all over again and she cursed both herself and her mate in equal measures. Her for having postponed meeting him for so long and him, for clearly having a type that was a far cry from anything she was.
"Why am I so angry?" She growled, suddenly frustrated with only herself again. She didn't use to be this insecure about herself. What the fuck happened to her?
Oh, yeah!
She'd been cursed and her humanity hadn't been recognized for years…
"How should I know?" Bella shrugged, pouring herself another glass of vodka, mixing it with the chocolate ice cream, and slurping it all up with a chocolate dip cookie.
And still, she managed to look like a supermodel!
Some people just had life made for them…
"Where I'm from it was expected that a man had about a dozen mistresses on the side," she continued and sat to face her.
"Ewe!" Kat sneered in disgust. Well, thank fuck she didn't live in the 17th century then. Just thinking about all the STDs, Fungai, and everything else that--- Kat shivered just thinking about it.
"Why do you think I didn't get married?" Bella chuckled as if reading her mind. "It sucked. And while I knew I'd never be anything but a social steppingstone for whoever I married, I at least wanted it to be on my own turf."
Bella had often talked about her home, but it had always been clinically. As if she said and told things that she expected people wanted to hear rather than talking about her true feelings. But from time to time, Bella opened up and gave up snippets of information that let Kat see and know the true person behind Bellatrix Phips, witch extraordinaire. And what she saw was an ambitious person, that was way ahead of her time. With great confidence and a vast knowledge of magic. But she was also sweet, caring, and longed for something in her life that not even magic could fill…
"To be left alone?" Kat said, knowing that the only thing that ever mattered anything to Bella, was following in her mother's footsteps and becoming the most powerful witch to live. Although she tried to tell her that in this time, Kat didn't know of a single witch that could do just a fraction of the things that she could. But Bella just waved her aside…
"Exactly," Bella replied with a thoughtful expression. "Magic is all I've ever lived for. Husband and kids didn't really go well with that picture and a woman who didn't think like that wasn't really all that desirable."
"To your credit, you ARE the most powerful witch I've ever met," she reminded her again, but again, she waved her off.
"Even at my most powerful back home, I was living in my mother's shadow," she said with a sigh, and her gaze turned far away and sadness filled her scent. Kat had noticed it a couple of times whenever the subject of her mother came up, but she hadn't really wanted to push the subject.
Perhaps it was about time she did?
"Were you close? You and your mother?" she asked in a soft voice. But to that, Bella scoffed and rolled her eyes. But before she denied it, she frowned and let herself wonder.
In all her time in this time, Bella was starting to realize that analyzing her feeling actually gave her a better understanding of how this new world worked than it had ever done in her old one. And as the ice melted around her heart, she knew she was stepping into dangerous territory. Witches didn't have feelings, but Bella couldn't deny that as the ice melted her memories of her mother became clearer in her mind.
Like the time she first made this Hut. Her mother had taken her into the forest and told her to close her eyes. Then, imagine everything she liked and loved. All the books she liked to read with her mother, all the experiments and crystals…
Looking around her current Hut she could still in a way hear her mother's voice, as she gazed at all the books, she'd read to her. Smell her, as Bella had always associated her mother to the sweet scent of magical herbs and roots, that they used for their spells. And in all the mismatched furniture that her mother loved to gather. She'd buy her colorful carpets and scarfs from gypsies, that would drive her father mad, and other knickknacks and decor from travelers that happened to pass by.
Her mother's spirit was here – in a way…
But most importantly, Bella found herself liking these new emotions that coursed through her. They were warm and sentient. They made her feel alive--- and totally clashed with everything that made her a witch. She needed chaos and despair to refuel her powers, but with her newfound emotions, she was starting to hate that aspect of magi.
But if she couldn't do magic, what was she then?
"As close as you can get when you're a witch, I suppose," she replied cryptically instead and put down her glass, turning her attention back to Kat. "But we're not talking about me, we're talking about you. And while I think your pain is justified, you can't take out your anger on him."
"Why not?" her friend whined, and while Bella knew perfectly well that Kat knew why, she placated her anyway.
"Well, you were cursed, so he's not able to recognize you as a mate," she said--- and then giggled. "Although I'd like to see his face when he realized that what he thought was a wild bobcat was his mate all along…" Kat gave her a blank stare and she quickly cleared her throat and continued: "Sorry, got sidetracked there! But anyway…! You've had plenty of opportunities to seek him out in person, and while I still don't think he'll be able to recognize you as his mate, I know there will be chemistry between you. If you'd just talked to him, you wouldn't be in this situation because he'd be too busy pining after you."
"Ugh," Kat groaned and threw her head back against the headrest. "I hate tough love."
"The only kind of loving I have, darling," Bella laughed with mock sympathy and picked up their bottle of poison for the night. "More vodka?"
Although she wasn't sure more alcohol was the best idea for her fired right now. She looked ready to pass out…
"Fill it up," she slurred, holding out her glass, and against her better judgment she did. Kat sighed and watched the glass like she was confronting an enemy. "I'm going to regret this in the morning."
And then she knocked it all back in one swift motion, grimacing as it went down, and handed Bella her cup.
"If it's any consolation, you'll be a cat," she tried to be helpful but doubted it had any effect. "And it's acceptable for a cat to sleep all day."
"But they don't get Thymol," she whined and tried snatching a cookie. Which she didn't succeed in and gave up, sighing miserably and turning back to Bella with an expression of absolute misery. "What if the sex is really good?"
"What then?" Bella questioned, not understanding the issue.
"I'm a virgin," Kat confessed, blushing so hard even the tip of her ears turned red. "I don't know--- You know? How to--- How to please a man."
That's the big issue?!
"You have a hole he wants to fuck," she replied in a deadpanned tone and snorted. "There's really not much else to it than that."
Bella wasn't a prude – not now and not back in her own time. Hell, back then they promised death and hellfire to any woman who wasn't a blessed virgin on her wedding day yet men could act and do anything they wanted inside or out of a wedding band?
Bitch, please!
Bella had never been the type to get tied down by social norms and morals, that were as twisted as they were upholding a double standard of not only the sexes but classes and races as well. And Bella – like her mother – spat in the face of the ruling government…
"Was it like that for you?" Kat asked, her curiosity genuine. And Bella didn't feel an ounce of shame to admit how she lost her virginity.
"No," she said and smiled wryly. "I sacrificed my virginity to a demon for beauty." Kat's eyes nearly bulged out of her eye sockets and she shrugged, nonchalantly. "I was 15 and vain! Don't judge!"
"You've---?!" Kat spluttered, almost sober now. "You had sex? With a demon?!"
"His vessel anyway," she explained, not sure why that was such a big deal. She'd gotten what she wanted and gotten to experience her first time as something amazing and incredible. For her it was a win-win no matter the creature she was fucking at the time. "It was really enjoyable, and he made me come more than once, so the experience wasn't all that bad. And the payoff was worth it, in the end."
She liked how she looked. How her body wasn't too big or too small. Sure, she something wished she had a little more filling up front, but then she saw some big-bosomed woman jogging down the street – their breasts bouncing around and they'd just barely avoided being knocked over – she quickly shook off the desire. In the end, the demon had come through for her and she was happy about the result. And of course, being a witch and all, meant that she'd knew about the fine print and all that bullshit, refusing to sign a contract until there were only three words on the document:
"Sex for beauty!"
"A demon?!" Kat echoed again, a mix of awe horror, and stunned admiration in her tone.
"I said, don't judge," Bella smirked in a chiding tone, knowing that humans would never understand it. Witches didn't have a relaxed relationship with demons, but they did understand their behaviors. They knew about the different races, their needs, and how they acted. Like some humans studied wild animals and had a deep understanding of them, witches had studied demons, ghosts, and magic from the beginning of time and therefrom had a vast knowledge of them.
"Kat, dear," Bella said in her best teacher voice and turned her attention to her shifter friend. "Men in my time didn't know what a clit was even if it hit them in the face. And even then, they'd have no idea what to do with it. At least a succubus knows what he's doing."
At that, Kat threw her head back and laughed almost hysterically.
"You're awesome!" she declared and almost pushed her off the couch when she clapped her on the back. Aw, Bella grimaced and rubbed the stop while Kat continued to laugh. She knew that shifters were stronger and more resilient – like the fact that they were immune to most sicknesses and healed relative fast – but damn!
Aw…!
Within moments Kat's laughter died and the same worried frown she always had when thinking about her mate draped over her beautiful face. Bella had no idea why her friend worried. She was such an amazing and sweet person, anyone would be stupid not to like her.
Especially a man!
"Don't worry about it," she said with confidence in her voice and patted her leg. "The chemistry between mates is what makes the experience special; not the deed itself."
Tears then filled the shifter's eyes and she watched her with an expression that Bella couldn't decipher.
"You always know what to say," she sniffled but smiled when she took her hand. "I love you!"
Say--- what?!
"Hmm, I'm pretty sure that's the liquor talking," Bella frowned, knowing all too well how alcohol made some people stupid. Some people that weren't her anyway… But Kat scooted closer and when their eyes met, hers held a genuine gratefulness and a sincere smile daunted her lips.
"No, Bella! I mean it," she said, struggling to keep her words from slurring. "You're the best friend a girl could ever want. You've done so much for me even when you didn't have to."
Bella blinked at that, not sure what to say--- only that her chest filled with emotions she'd never felt before.
"Well, it hasn't been without selfish reasons," she explained, not wanting to lead her on and make her think there was something between them that wasn't. "I needed you to find my way around this new world. We're in this as equal partners---!"
"No," Kat cut her off and shook her head. "No, you don't get to do that, Bell." Their eyes met again and---
Magic swirled in the air…!
"You didn't need to pull out all of this," she ais softly and gestured the food and alcohol on the table. "And say all that, but you did. You're like a sister to me, and I'll never forget this." She squeezed her hand a little tighter.
"I love you."
Bella swallowed hard. She could feel the magic around her but didn't probe at it. A part of her didn't want to, because a part of her – a part that she was quick to bury under a heart of ice – recognized it.
It was the same magic she'd felt with her sister…
"Well," she replied, suddenly tongue-tied and dry-mouthed at the same time. "I guess I don't dislike you, but… I'm a witch, Kat." She couldn't explain why, but she hated every word that came off her lips. "We don't--- I don't experience emotions the same way you do."
But Kat just smiled reassuringly.
"You mean you're conditioned to ignore your feels," she said. "That's not the same as not having them." She grinned and slapped her leg again, the sting was enough to pull her out of whatever trance the magic had been trying to pull her into.
"So, stop looking so guilty, girl," she laughed and leaned back, head resting on the armrest. "I know what you are, and I accept that. You don't have to change for me. And while you might not say it, I know you have your own way of caring. And I still think you're an amazing person."
I accept you for what you are!
All of what she said hit Bella in a place she'd believed dead for years. All her life, she'd lived with the knowledge that if people knew what she was, she'd be killed. And not even her Coven would lift a finger to stop it or help her. Yet here was a seemingly complete stranger, telling her that she accepted her, wanted her, and loved her just as she was…
Well shit!
"I think we need more alcohol," Bella concluded, shaking off all of these whirling emotions, and got to her feet. "And then we're going to make a plan, how to get you and Mr. Wolf together. Misery might like company, but this witch is getting tired of you acting like a lovesick puppy. I thought cats were supposed to be ferocious predators, not scared little pussies."
"I resent that," Kat called after her. "And in my defense, bobcats tend to avoid conflicts! There's a difference."
"As you wish, love," Bella laughed and looked for another bottle of alcohol down off the shelves. "We have Bourbon and---"
She glanced back into the living room and saw Kat fast asleep on the couch, passed out cold. Smirking, she put the bottle back and instead took a blanket, placing it around the shifter's shoulders. The awkward position was probably going to hurt in the morning, but then again, so could probably a lot of other things as well.
Tomorrow there would be no more excuses. Kat was going to meet her mate – even if it killed her!