'Everyday we spend our time in a area whether is a base, town or city we're always looking for Charlie...Ammo being spent and I've watched Soldiers come and ago...some wounded being sent home and others being sent in body bags"
I rubbed my eyes as I wrote in my journal taking a drink then resumed writing 'I've seen Soldiers act less like Soldiers and more like animals some Civilians are being questioned if they have been adding and abetting the enemy
Sometimes I saw Civilians get beaten into the ground I even watched an ARVN officer execute a Civilian...I still curse myself for not stopping him'
The ground rumbled as the light above me swings around making it harder for me to write, 'Underground in a tunnel as the NVA hammer our position...Paul said he bagged twenty more NVA while Bucky said he bagged two Officers...It's becoming a sick game to us..Even Jamie stopped tagging his helmet as he also lost count'
'Sometimes when I bag myself a Charlie their still talking even tho I unloaded an entire clip into them, just shut up I tell them..I don't really believe in Ghosts but I don't know what I'm seeing and my bullets go through him' After finishing writing I put my journal away grabbing my rifle and stepping out.
Our M10A1 Howitzers were lined up and fired over the ridge into the Advancing NVA forces. I looked to my right as a few Troops were using the TOW Anti Tank to take out an T-34 Tank.
I ran over and jumped into the trenches luckily Marshall was there calling for some Air support while Paul manned a stationed Machine Gun and peppered the enemy.
Made my way across them with a Carbine which I peaked over the top and fired taking a few NVA down. Near me a Marine was using rifle grenades while another one behind us was holding his head awaiting for the shooting to cease.
As I fired a grenade was thrown at us so I shouted and tackled the nearest Soldier down as the grenade luckily didn't go off.
"A dud...we just got saved by a dud" He says catching his breath. Helping the Soldier up as I patted his back before resume my position.
NVA were charging in as a few explosions went off from either artillery or mines we lay out. Above one of our Planes roared through the sky raining down missiles as more Tanks were destroyed.
And just like that the battle was over but of course the war wasn't, We suffered massive casualties and morale wasn't great. I was sitting down rubbing hands onto my face before taking a drink of my water.
I heard we lost a entire Platoon last week, poor bastards. Scully pulled my arm as he lead me to the room where Gillan and our unit awaited.
A Major walked in as we saluted, "Alright things are about to get more interesting" He says facing the map then pointed out.
"We have possibly of VC activity in the area, possible village is holding weapon caches and VC members so I want your unit to investigate and get rid of this problem" He says, "Yes Sir" Gillan says.
You ever looked into someone's eyes and you can tell their not there, it's called being Shellshocked. I saw Soldiers staring blindly into the void some just broken down into sobbing mess and others went mad and attacked anything in their sight.
Getting Shellshocked isn't just us Soldiers cause I've seen it in Civilians as well. They just stared at us sometimes it's worse, some POWs we have even got it.
Shellshock is the thing that kills your pride and morale, you get some high and mighty General or whatever yelling at you for not taking up a rifle and fight.
Bastards....We're fighting and dying in their war they complain when we want to stop. Some of the guys are smoking a herb called Marijuana it's suppose to calm your nerves.
Smoking isn't for me tho so I passed.
VC are worst then NVA, their sneaky and slippery but they all bleed the same. "Got another tunnel Sergeant?" Gillan turned to me as I lower myself down and checked the ground was safe.
Before even entering we tossed some smoke into the tunnel then I jumped in with a gas mask. While inside I saw Spider webs, bugs and lots of damn rats.
The Tunnel was clean of VC but they left some weapons and supplies thus meaning they left in a hurry, so I threw some explosives then left the tunnel with Bucky and Kyle pulling me up.
The explosion destroyed everything inside and we left it as tunnel smoke coming out of it. From what I know Charlie is using something called the Ho Chi Minh trail which we're trying to destroy it.
After the tunnel we rounded up the Villagers and searched their homes for weapons which were plenty of rifles. I turn to my right watching Bucky tackle one of the Villagers down to the ground.
"We got a runner this one must be a scout" Bucky says during the struggle which Scully stomped his boot on the bastard's face.
We didn't stay in the village long as we're being replaced by another group of fresh faces. They looked clean while we look filthy. Once we back I just lay face first onto a table while Paul grabbed our meals.
The food was good for the most part we ate like everyday was our last meal never knowing what could be happen.
Once again we're being sent out because apparently we're the Go to guys to handle Charlie and his large family.
If I was given the opportunity to go home I take it but something is keeping me here in Nam, like a force that won't let me leave.
it's like a game to me and we're all playing this sicking game except there's no prize if we win this except seeing another day.
Just an endless game we're playing.