At that moment I completely froze, forgotten feelings started coming back to me and my heart started pounding loudly.
She looked at my frozen expression and said: "Ethan, are you okay?"
I tried to control my breathing as I looked back at her and replied: "S-Sure. I am free."
As I followed after her towards a quiet corner, I kept staring at her slim body from behind, myriad thoughts running through my mind. Once we reached there, she turned around and caught me staring with an absentminded look. Her eyebrow arched up as she asked: "You found anything interesting down there?"
Her words broke me out of my reverie, as I cleared my throat to hide my embarrassment and said: "Sorry, I was thinking about something. What did you want to speak to me about?"
She looked at me intently for a moment, before her white cheeks blushed slightly and she whispered: "I kept seeing Michael coming to your seat. Are you two good friends?"
Even after all this time, after all the things I've been through, this question still caused a stabbing pain in my heart.
'Huh, I guess getting completely over your first love is impossible..'
The sudden pain woke me up slightly as I answered: "Yes, we're best friends. Why did you ask?"
I knew exactly why she asked me, but I still played the scenario. The moment I finished my question, time froze and the old man appeared besides me again.
"If you said no to her at this moment, your young self would never have fallen for her and your life would have been free of all the grief of the break up."
"Probably." I nodded as I stared at her frozen face. She was by no means an extraordinary beauty. She was not the type that turned eyes or stopped all the voices when she walked in, but she gave you a feeling that it wouldn't be so bad if you got to know her.
"If you were given the choice to change your answer here, what would you do?"
I lifted my hand and softly touched her frozen straight chestnut colored hair as I peered into her light green eyes as I replied: "I don't know…"
The old man remained quiet, apparently waiting for me to answer, but I was too immersed in my own thoughts. After a while, I said:
"I don't think I'll ever change this part of my past. It might have brought me a lot of pain and suffering, it also did, in a fucked up twist of fate, lead to me dying, but I loved her, I still do… if you asked the me from before, I would have said yes without even thinking. But here, peering into her eyes, there's no way in hell I'll ever say that I wished I never got together with her. As one might say, it's about the journey, not the destination. The destination was horrible, but the journey was not all that bad."
A teardrop fell down my cheek as I used my hand to gently feel the side of Diana's face. "Guide, can you change the scene? Seeing her, still hurts. You already have my answer."
The old man nodded and she slowly turned to mist in front of my eyes. I don't know if the old man did it for me or any other reason, but there were no more scenes with Diana. He kept showing me past regrets, even giving me the chance to say goodbye to my parents before they died. As I passed through the lane of memories, I felt myself becoming calmer and calmer.
A few years later, we reached at a scene with me sitting on a bench in park indulging in alcohol. I was still in soul form and the old man appeared next to me again.
"You know, if you would have chosen to not agree to Diana's request, you would not have ended up falling in this state."
I nodded as I lifted my head from the drunk and sorry figure of myself in college and looked into the distance, where a ground of people were coming towards me. I fixed my eyes on a golden haired girl.
"Yes, but I probably wouldn't have met her either." A smile appeared on my lips as I saw the girl leave her group and approach the drinking young me. She took the bottle of booze from his hands and said in a tone full of justice:
"You know that drinking in public is illegal?"
The drunk me tried to get up and get the bottle back, but he was too dizzy and fell down, face first into the cubic stone on the pathway. The girl sighed as she put the bottle down on the side and helped me sit on the bench again.
"You stink." She said as she wrinkled her nose and continued: "There are regular patrols coming through the park. If they find you drinking in public, you will be arrested for sure."
"What do you care?" the drunk me said in a annoyed tone. "Just go away."
The girl sighed again and said: "I saw you in physics class before, the perma-depressed looking guy. I don't know what happened to you that made you like this, but let me help you get back to your dorm. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's not worth ruining your entire future over it."
"I'm doing fine just sitting here, leave me alone."
The girl, a bit pissed, threw the bottle into a trash can nearby and came back to say: "Now you have nothing else to do here, let's go." After her words, she ignored his mumbling and used her shoulder to support him back towards the collage dorm. They almost fell a couple of times, but the girl managed to hold them both up.
The scene changed, and it was of me again, sober this time, sitting on a bench at the side of a small river that passed through the campus. The girl from before came and sat down next to him as she said:
"You look like hell. Hungover?"
The young me looked at her and said: "Who are you?"
"Great. You don't even remember the person who saved you last night."
He looked at her for a long while before shaking his head and saying: "Sorry, I don't remember anything from last night."
The girl chucked as she extended her hand for a handshake and said: "My name is Alison. We have physics and math courses together."
The college me took her hand and replied: "Ethan. Nice to meet you and thank you for 'saving' me last night, even if I have no idea what that means."
"You're lucky I didn't kick you ass. So, what got you drinking at the park in the middle of the night?"
"Who knows?"
I kept watching as the girl was literally pulling words out of his mouth with a smile on my face and said to the old man:
"If I never fell into these vices, I maybe would have never have met her. She is probably the best thing that ever happened to me."
I kept watching scenes from my past with Alison. I watched as my younger self slowly started smiling again. As the scenes went from her confessing, since I was too timid to do it, to us dating and up until I started feeling bad and went to get a check in at the hospital. As I watched me closing my eyes and dying, the old man said:
"Your choices eventually lead to an early death."
I nodded and said: "indeed. They do. But it was not a bad life, as short as it was. Probably the only regret I truly have is that I started drowning into depression and forgot to enjoy life for a while, but even that lead to me being together with Alison, which was not so bad in the end."
The old man patted my shoulder and said: "Congratulations on passing the sixth trial, challenger. Trial by Past. Your past is a part of what made you who you are today, never forget that."
"Is there a way to fail this trial?" I asked, not knowing exactly what I did that qualified me to pass the trials.
"Sure there is. If you would not have come to terms with your regrets and kept wishing you would have taken a different path. There are also people so attached to the past that they refuse to leave and start begging me to let them stay here."
I looked at him and said: "About that, can I make a selfish request, guide?"
"What is it?" asked the old man with a raised eyebrow.
"I want to speak to Alison one last time. I know this is all in my mind, but I would truly appreciate it if you could make it happen."
The old man nodded and the scene changed from the hospital room to the entrance and I saw Alison running towards me. She seemed surprised as she saw me at the entrance and immediately hugged me.
"Thank God you are all right. You scared the hell out of me on the phone. Are you fine now?" she said, with tears falling down her cheeks onto my shoulder.
I nodded in her arms and started tearing up as well as I hugged her tighter and replied: "Not really, but I will be all right."
She broke the hug and looked at me with a worried expression. I couldn't help it and I kissed her forehead, not breaking the kiss for a long time, before pulling away and saying.
"It might get hard for you from now on, but I need you to trust me. I'll come back. I love you. I always will." There were a billion things I wanted to tell her, but I felt that if I started I would never want to leave, just like the old man said.
"I love you too, but what do you mean by all that? You're scaring me." She said with an anxious expression.
I smiled as I brushed my finger past her thin red lips as I said out loud: "That's enough. Thank you, guide."
"Don't forget what you learned today, challenger. Good luck on the next trial."
The space around me disappeared and I woke up back on the trial grounds. I chuckled to myself as I mumbled: "Maybe these trials are not so bad. At least I got to see her again."
[Welcome back, Ethan. How was your trial?]
I opened my palm and took a look at the black and white ball that appeared in my hand. Putting it in my robe with the others I said: 'It was good. A trial of my past and I got to see Alison again.'
A new sense of urgency blossomed in my heart. I wanted to save this world and all the others as soon as possible and go back to see Alison again. Not even taking a break, I went straight for the next door. Ai didn't object and I soon passed through the door of the seventh trial.
As soon as I passed through the door, I appeared laying down on a bed. A playful voice came from the side as I felt a pinch onto my cheek.
"Wake up, sleepy head. We'll be late for work."
I was a bit confused and turned to look at Alison: "Morning to you too. Do we have time for breakfast?"
"We'll just grab a coffee on the way. You refused to wake up no matter how much I tried and now we're running a bit late."
Nodding, I gave her a short kiss on the lips before we got up and got dressed really fast. After that, we walked out of our small apartment and made our way towards the subway station nearby.
Boarding the subway, we managed to find two neighbouring seats and sat down.
"Ethan, what did you dream of last night?" Alison asked out of a sudden.
"Hm? I don't remember, why?"
"Hehe. When I tried to wake you up, you kept mumbling that you had to save the world. I almost died of laughter."
Her words made me tremble for a moment, but I just ignored the feeling, thinking it must be some wind passing through the door and said: "Me? Saving the world? Now even I am sorry I can't remember."
"I never knew you had some hero complex. 'The Computer Engineer that saved the world.' I can already imagine all the headlines."
I pinched her nose in a playful manner and said: "Keep making fun of me and I'll show you.."
"Oh?" she asked as she raised her eyebrows as she bit her lower lip in a seductive manner: "What will you show me?"
I brought my head closer to her ear and whispered: "You are so daring now, did you forget how you were begging for mercy last night?"
She blushed slightly and turned the other way before saying: "Can't believe you're bringing that up now. I'm not speaking to you anymore."
I couldn't see her face but I could already imagine she was pouting. Chucking, I grabbed her hand and kissed it before replying in a tone of humility: "I'm sorry for making you mad, your highness. What will it take for you to forgive this lowly one?"
"Hmph, if I didn't have a need for you anymore I'll have you cleaning the stables in the entire kingdom." She replied and we both started laughing until the old man sitting opposite from us cleared his throat and started at us with an ugly look.
Me and Alison looked at each other before we lowered our heads and stayed silent, not willing to bother the people in the subway anymore. After we reached out destination, we left the subway and bought two cups of coffee from a side shop as we walked the rest of the way towards our work place.
Alison took a sip of her coffee before she said: "How late are you guys working today?"
"I don't know." I said, "Today we're turning on the new AI system we've been working on for the last few years. We might have to stay a bit after five if there are any issues. Why?"
"It's been a while since we took dinner at a restaurant. I figured we might go today, but if you're busy we can go another day."
"Oh, I'll make a reservation as soon as I know the time we'll finish our shift. We can take dinner out even if it's a little later."
"Do you want me to wait for you?"
"You can come to my office after you finish your schedule if you want to."
As we were chatting, we soon reached our work place. I was a computer engineer and had an office on the fifth floor while Alison was working on public relations, her office being on the second floor. After the elevator stopped at the second floor, I wished her good luck and gave her a kiss before I pressed the five button on the elevator.
Inside my office, as I was looking through the code for the new AI system, I noticed that there was still a placeholder for it's name. I asked one of my coworkers about it and he said:
"Since this project was started by you, we decided that you should be the one who names it."
"You could just say that you had no idea what name to give to it.." I sighed as I focused on the placeholder again. After a moment of thinking, I said:
"I'm bad a naming stuff, can't you guys just each come up with a name and vote on it? The one with the most votes will win."
"We did, but the result is a bit… simple."
"Oh, what did you choose?"
"Promise you're not going to laugh or get mad?"
"Just say it. How bad can it be." I said in an irritated tone.
"Ai."