I watched my mom growl at me. She looked like an evil ghost that had crawled out of hell. I felt tears dripping down my face, but, didn't know how I should react.
I seemed to go back to that day, that night and saw the smiling face of my brother who was always very gentle with me. He was the only person in this family who gave me warmth. He did die because he saved me. I still remember the loud crash, and the sound of breaking glass, all of which were isolated by the warm embrace of my brother. But when I was rescued, I realized that my brother's blood was like a stream, dripping and spilling all over my body. It took a lot of effort for the doctor to separate my brother from me. Because his hands kept holding me tightly. I watched my brother being taken away by the ambulance, and then, he never came back.
Many times I prayed to God to bring my brother back so he could take me away. I was the extra person in this family. After my brother died, my mom went crazy. She wandered around the house day and night without a moment's pause. She kept shouting my brother's name and searching the house for him until she fainted. But she was afraid of seeing me, and every time she met me, she would shout and scream like a madman who had escaped from a mental hospital.
So every day when I came home from school, my father kept me in my room and forbade me to come out. He was afraid to irritate my mother.
He cared so much about my mother that he chose to ignore my feelings.
Six months after my brother's death, my mother's health deteriorated very badly. She couldn't get up, couldn't eat, and had to live on nutritional injections every day. My dad was at her bedside every day, and my uncle Joshua handled all the group's business. He often came to my house to report to my father.
During that time, I also learned that I had an uncle Joshua.
I heard the family maids gossip that he was my father's half-brother, and my grandfather never wanted to support this son when he was alive, let alone let him inherit the property. It was after my father became chairman of the board that he accepted this brother, let him work in the group, and kept giving him promotions and raises. He worked very hard and during that time many of the group's matters were handled by him instead of my father.
It was then that I finally understood why I had become the transparent person in the family after my brother's death. Because my mother hated me with a passion and I was a scandal that my father could not face. I finally understood why my mother always cared for my brother and wouldn't even look at me.
I understood why my father always sighed at me with a disappointed look because his plan had failed and my birth did not arouse my mother's passion for life or her motherly love for her child. since all her love went to my brother Matthew and his father George DuPont.
And for me, the only brother who loved me was gone.
After my brother left, no one in the family spoke to me, and both my father and mother avoided seeing me. I was more like a ghost from another world. At first, I tried to talk to my dad and tell him I was scared, but he just dropped me off with a psychiatrist and gave him a large sum of money. Then I quietly followed my mom, I wanted to go over and hug her and tell her that without my brother, there was still me and I would always be there for her. But every time I went near my mom, a bouncer would lock me up.
But I didn't give up.
Don't underestimate the desire for parents' attention of a teenage girl who craves love.
On my brother's birthday, I cut off my hair, found my brother's old clothes and put them on. I also thickened my eyebrows to highlight the contours of my face. I followed YouTube videos and practiced secretly for a long time, and my face looked very much like Matthew's face with the help of my makeup.
My mother made a cake for Matthew, as she does every year, and lit candles for him, pretending that Matthew was still with her.
I walked step by step toward my mother in the dim candlelight and slowly opened my arms to her.
I don't need any words, the tears in my mother's eyes slowly welled up in her eyes, she covered her mouth, not daring to sob out, as if she was afraid that her crying would wake up this dream. She carefully got up from her chair, walked over to me, and held my face.
I heard her say to herself, "Matthew, don't go, don't leave mommy," and big tears fell on my face, drowning out the ecstasy of being held by my mother.
I seemed to realize that I was a thief at the moment. I was stealing my mother's love. But I had everything in Mom's eyes that I had never had, so I made a birthday wish for Matthew: "Please don't let Mom wake up, please allow me to keep this love."
It seems that my wish was really heard by the gods, and from that time on my father ordered me to only wear Matthew's clothes at home, keep Matthew's haircut, and imitate Matthew's every move. At that time, I was still secretly happy that my parents could finally notice me. My mom got better and better after that day, she stopped wandering around the house every day and stopped talking to herself. This was a relief for my father. I finally saw something other than disappointment in his expression.