Night covers the skies above the Fortitude. The moon and stars illuminating their way towards the horizon.
Everyone settles down and prepares for slumber or their shift. Polnaz returned to the kitchen to help with dinner, Sunzar decided to help out in the engine room, and Kairm finished his rounds around the ship and settled down into the ship's drinking station.
Kairm walked around the ship under the pretext of inspecting the whole thing and rechecking its security on behalf of his lord.
But it was also an excuse to walk around and learn about a new place.
Something Kairm genuinely enjoyed.
He found a few neat things: like the imperial-grade magic engine used to propel the vessel forward, the relative spotlessness of the floors, and the portrait of a beautiful woman hanging high and proud on the bridge.
The prince, to Kaim's approval, has taken great care of this vessel of his.
Everything was running smoothly…
"Sir Kairm?"
One of the maid's attending the ship came up to him.
"What is it?"
"Lord Sasan is calling for you."
"Take me to him."
Kairm followed the maid towards Nuriya's room. When he opened the doors, he saw his Lord Isetzar was still sitting by her bedside.
""Ah, Kairm!" he exclaimed.
"How may I be of service?" Kairm smiled and bowed.
Kairm was a fair-skinned man with cold blue eyes. He was beautiful, in an andgrogynous sense. His style of dress is as perfectly expected of an Ursan gentleman. He had changed out of his Sasan hunting gear before he hit the drinking station and was now dressed in the fine suit of orange and gold velvet, a loose turban of turquoise green, and draped in a long black overcoat worn loose.
Isetzar too had changed out of his hunting gear and into the clothes provided for him by one of the maids. He was now dressed in a dark blue suit with a clean white overcoat, he is yet to tie the imperial green headscarf given to him around his head, as it still hangs above his lap over his knees.
"The Prince is calling me to the bridge for a meeting, but I can't quite leave my sister alone for now. But I trust you. Can you replace me for a while? At least until the meeting's over." said Isetzar.
"Is that all? Kairm remarked. "Of course."
"Thank you, Kairm," Isetzar stood up now. "Also…Can you search her body for any possible problems or injuries?"
"I'll do that as well," Kairm smiled and nodded once.
Isetzar grinned and left the room.
"....."
Kairm looked at Nuriya.
"Allright, My Lady. Let's get to work, shall we?"
He pulled up his sleeves and his eyes began scanning Nuriya from top to bottom. There were quite a few bruises around her legs and neck–from what Kairm could only assume were the earlier attempts on her life. Also, there seemed to have been some internal damage around them too–which he recognizes as the aftereffects of draining spells.
"Maids?" Kairm called. He then grabbed some paper and scribbled a list of things he wanted in the room.
One of them promptly answered: "What is it, Sir?"
"Can you get me everything here? I'm sure the boat has some in its stores somewhere."
"Oh, we do!" replied the maid. "I'll have it delivered here at once."
"Thank you." Kairm smiled.
The maid blushed and immediately went out of her way.
Kairm sat on Nuriya's bedside on the chair his lord used. He crossed his arms and waited for someone to get him his supplies.
".....mnhhn…Setzya?."
"?!"
Nuriya woke up.
"W-Who?...Who are?...You're…", Nuriya said as she rubbed her eyes and looked around her. Still half-dazed.
"Stay still, My Lady…" Kairm got on his feet and cautioned. "You're still weak from earl–"
"Where's Setzya? Where did he–"
"He'll be back shortly, my lady!" Kairm took a hand to reassure her. "I promise. He just went to talk with The Prince about something."
Nuriya put a hand over her eyes, and pinched her eyelids until sense came back to her.
"...."
Nuriya put her hand down and stared at the door.
"Oh, that's right…Today was my birthday."
Nuriya wore a sad smile and went back to bed to cover her eyes with a pillow.
"Does the lady wish to talk?" asked Kairm. "If something's bothering you? I'd be happy to listen."
"No!" Nuriya said behind the pillow. "I'm…I'm sorry, Sir. But…I'm not in the mood for conversation right now."
"That's all right. No offense taken," Kairm smiled and went back to his seat. " I'll just wait for my ingredients for my lady's wounds and wait for Lord Isetzar. Then I'll leave you two alone."
They paused for a bit. Nuriya wasn't feeling chatty, and Kairm didn't really know where to start given what had just taken place.
But, in the end? It was Nuriya who reached out. Staying silent in this room after surviving an attempt on her life by one of her loved ones is just the sort of thing that should make her appreciate having anyone to talk to at all.
Silence feels too much like death for her.
"You're Kairm, right?" Nuriya asked.
"Yes, I am," Kairm answered.
"Sorry for earlier…I was a little out of it…"
"As I've said? No offense taken, my lady. I know you just went through a lot. I just wanted to help ease your worries, that's all–you were looking for my lord as soon as you woke up."
Nuriya blushed.
"Rest assured. He never left your side." Kairm thumped his chest.
"I did…wake up at certain intervals earlier…but I quickly fell back to sleep," she said. "I could vaguely remember the one called Pol coming here…and I could see Setzya."
Nuriya looked at her palm.
"He…was holding on to me like his life depended on it," she remarked. "And I quickly found myself comforted just catching glimpses of him."
Kairm's ears pricked up and he raised an eyebrow. "I had no idea you and my lord–"
"Got along?" Nuriya grinned. One that reminded Kairm of his lord. "I know…It's a little embarrassing."
"The two of you more than just get along…If…And I'm sorry to say this, but permission to be honest?" Kairm turned to face Nuriya.
"Sure…Go ahead."
"You and my lord…are starting to sound more like reunited lovers than siblings."
Nuriya looked at Kairm with melancholic amusement. Her face slightly red and she chuckled under her breath.
"Lady Nuriya…were the two of you?"
"That? That's my fault, Kairm. Not my brother's. No, we aren't. But…"
"Does this have anything to do with our lord's past lives?"
"Partly," Nuriya answered matter of factly. To Kairm, she sounded almost relieved. "But I don't think this can all be blamed on Setzya being a harqa…"
Nuriya hugged a pillow and stared up at the ceiling. "I'm the one who's messed up. I told him I loved him two years ago..."
"I see…" Kairm crossed his arms and understood. "That…must have been difficult."
"He started distancing himself from me after I confessed to him. I was so ashamed and angry with myself I wanted to disappear. I wanted to take it all back…"
"My lady…"
"But…Looking at him now?" Nuriya chuckled to herself. "And I can't help but think…"
"Did he…ever tell you who you were, my lady?" asked Kairm. "Who were you to him in the past?"
"That's what I want to know…" Nuriya remarked. "I want to know what the hell he's on about our father too. I knew about him being a harqa, but I had no idea he had a secret involving our parents' deaths and apparently knew about who I really am."
Nuriya shook her head in incredulous humor. "I can't believe it…I'm not me. I have a dead sister. My family tried to kill me. And apparently I am to be the death of everyone and everything I care for? This is too funny! I don't know whether I should laugh or cry!"
Nuriya slumped her shoulders and looked at her hands.
"Maybe…I should disappear? If it's true? Maybe I should jus–"
Kairm clapped once.
Nuriya turned to face him and then he spoke:
"When I was caught? And later cut? I wanted to disappear too. I questioned whether a life as a slave and a toy was worth all that suffering. I've lost everything…The only thing I still had with me was my sense of self. Still, clinging, as hard it could through all that pain and dishonor.It looked, to me? That everything would be better overall if I just died and didn't subject myself to that kind of fate. If I disappeared? At least they won't have the satisfaction. At least they won't have me for a toy anymore."
Kairm faced Nuriya, with eyes of firm resolution:
"But then I realized: Is that all my life is going to sum up into? Is the height of my ambition really to give my tormentors a moment of inconvenience? I laughed. And resolved to live. Your case, my lady? Reminds me a bit of mine. Regardless of what fate The Wheel had planned for us: we were born. And we have a right to live. No one else but we can decide whether things are better or worse by our existence. But we do, indeed, have a right to exist.
To see things through however long we want. To play our roles and exit the stage as best as we can. And even if we do end up making things worse in the end? We had the right to live our lives that way. So whether or not I lose my world and whether or not it's indeed true as my lord mentioned once that you might very well one day destroy us all? Neither the gods, nor The Wheel, nor anyone else can tell you that you shouldn't be here. Because you are."
Nuriya couldn't help herself and pulled Kairm for a teary-eyed hug.
"Thank you, Kairm. Thank you."
"My Lady is most welcome." Kairm patted her on the back and released her back to her bedspot.
"You're really easy to talk to…I usually keep these things to myself, but something about you made me believe like I could trust you with my own feelings."
"Hey? Maybe that's just my lady and I? Kairm smiled. "I would like to think such trust is well-founded."
They smiled at each other then.
"When I felt Setzya push me away? I figured…Ah…Maybe I'm someone important to him, but one he can't see himself with. Like a dear companion, perhaps, or—god forbid–a parent. And I started despising his and my past selves. Ah, I felt like such a twisted freak.."
"Or maybe he's feeling off about it because the two of you, whoever you may be in the past, are currently brother and sister?"
"..."
"My lady?"
"If Setzya had told me he wanted me? I would hav–"
"--My lady?!"
"Why should it matter?!" Nuriya wore a twisted smile. "You said it yourself, right? My life is my own! I decide what I do with it! I decide who to love! No one else!"
"My lady, you sound like you honestly don't care about the ties that connect you now? What about the prince? Regardless of whomever you both were, and however you choose to live your life–you can't use being together in the past as a reason to defy the laws of gods and men."
Nuriya glared at Kairm. The face she wore was one of demonic fury and twisted indignation.
"Then let gods and men stop me! I won't let them interfere with my–!"
"My lady!"
"!"
Nuriya put both her hands over her mouth to stop herself from saying more.
"Grandfather was right…" she said in resignation. "Oh, Kairm! I'm so sorry! I'm so, soo sorry, Kairm…I'm sorry!"
"Lady Nuriya…"
Kairm worriedly watched Nuriya as she tried her hardest not to break down into sobs.
"I…had a feeling…I knew he was right. There is something broken inside me."