If anyone ever asked me about one thing that I would never believe in, my absolute answer would be Reincarnation. I mean, who in this time and day would believe such a fantasy story? My past self would be one of many people to raise their hands together in disbelief.
They're the fantasy story that written only to fulfill the thrist of one's boring life or story told to babysit a kid young enough to be fooled by hope of the chance of redemption and good faith. Be good and be brave. But I was never satisfied with just being good and brave. I want powers and wealth. I want to be surrounded by powerful things that I don't have to ever bow down to anyone for the things I want for the rest of my life. I want absolute control.
And I believe that being good would never fulfilled my desire for powers.
The good will always win, only if the one in powers behind them. So be brave.
All of this changed in a matter of hours after my own reincarnation that took me back to my younger bratty days. On that fateful day.
I wake up under the bright light of sun glaring from the window of my old room. Confused as to why I'm back in my old room, I put my feet down to feel the soft brown fur of my favorite carpet.
"Is this a dream?", was the first thought that crossed my mind at that time. I walk to the window to see the lines of roses in front on my old room, and there I see them. Beautiful roses in blooms lining rows after rows under the warm weather of Berkeley. Even though everything feels so real, I refused to believe that there's even a tiny bit chance of me going back to the past.
This just not real. It is impossible.
How could anyone believe anything happened at this situation? What would be the best conditions to ever make someone believe this could ever happen? Especially, to me, and no one else?
And if this is a world of novel, then this would be the first scene where the female lead gracefully, or disgracefully gasping for air, waking up the to beautiful sunlight with a newfound goals in mind for revenge of betrayal, while being the best human being that could ever lived in this planet. She will be surrounded by a whole army of beautiful male leads that begging on her feet for love while having a power to slash dragons left and right. Now, that would be the best recipe for a fantasy book.
But this? This is not a world of a novel, and I'm absolutely not the female lead with a good heart. I'm pretty sure, I was going to go to hell for all the sorrows and pain I've been putting on everyone else, if I ever believe in the afterlife.
I am no saint.
I am a woman that could destroy anything and anyone that stands in the way of her goal without so much as a care in the world.
I am the kind of woman that could stand tall and walk proudly on a road full of her enemy's blood and tears.
I am the kind of villain that would only received scornful of swear words from the people that once worship the ground she walking on at the end of the day.
And I'm absolutely certain there's no forgiveness enough for all the bad deeds I've done my whole life. Why would He wasted this once in a lifetime miracle on someone like me?
There's only one way to figure all of this out. If this is a dream or a reality. First things first, I need to know what year I'm in. I have to step out of the door and asking, what exactly? What year this is? Who is stupid enough to not remember what year they're in.
This is all sounds so stupid that I don't even have words to describe how pathetic my question would be. And if this is really a reality and I'm back to my younger self, how should I spend this chance given to me?
Should I change the future that I know by putting revenge for their betrayal to me as my one and only goal?
Should I spend this time focusing on the ones that truly cares for me and being the bestest version of me?
Or should I do nothing but avoiding the main source of the problem that would lead to my death and living in solitude?
All of this possibility are just confusing me and I've got nothing to answer any of the question that surrounding every possibility. And nothing is certain as written on the stone. Things could go viral out off control, and they'll occurs as the after effect of every decision I make.
If I can read all the answer in a book, that'll be so easy. If only I didn't remember what my past life has been. If only I didn't regret everything I did to him. If only I didn't met him that fateful day.
All of this probably started from the day I met him. The day I met Cameron de Lana.