"What do you wanna have today? I will take you anywhere you want."
When I date with someone, I always try to be like a sugar daddy. Whatever she wants to buy or eat, I will serve her like she is a princess. Like today...
"I don't know. It's up to you, babe."
Girls are always like this. They want us to think for them when it comes to food. "Let's go to the Seafood place."
"That one? Nah, we can't finish it. It is too much." "How about spaghetti? I remember you like carbonara." "Noooo, it is too greasy. I will puke if I have it now." "What do you want to eat then?"
"Up to you, babe."
I started rolling my eyes, trying to think of many dishes in the world. "Japanese food?"
"I'm sick of it."
"Pratunam's chicken rice? It is very famous." "It will make me fucking fat!"
"How about salad? You can't get fat from having salad." "No, it is not filling."
"Then tell me what you want to eat."
"Why would I ask you if I knew what I wanted? Think about it."
You prick!!! Maybe we can have a meal in our next lives? Think about!! A show-off...
"Tine, why don't you have any time for me lately?" She's Bebe from a Convent High School. Fresh and new. Her skin is clearer than a three-month infant.
"I am studying hard, babe, but I am free today. Do you want to see a movie?" "What is your car brand?"
"Civic. I borrowed it from my big bro."
"No way, I have never sat in this kind of car. The seats must be tough. I can call my driver to give us a lift." Did she ride in a spaceship? So your seats are soft like clouds, huh?
"All right. Let's have dinner together after the movie, okay?" "Wait."
"What's wrong?"
"I wanna go shopping for a bit. I have no new cosmetics lately. Need some Mac lipsticks and new Dior perfumes because everyone uses the same scent. I also want a new bag. Louis Vuitton feels like a cliche now."
"Oh. Okay."
"Which brand of bag do you think is gorgeous?"
"I don't know a girl's taste." If I said she should get a canvas tote bag, would she do it, huh?
"Tine, you can't help me with anything."
I felt so disheartened that I wanted to take her to some storehouse and let her pick things for herself.
Of course, I broke up with her. No time to waste!
An attention-needed girl...
"Why didn't you answer my call so many times?"
How could I pick up my phone when I was pooping? But I couldn't tell her that so I needed to come up with an excuse.
"I am busy. I'm studying hard."
"Are you studying hard at night also?"
"I need to prepare for the university entrance."
"Right! I know I am not important to you. If you don't have me anymore, will you feel sad?"
"Why did you say that?" She's sobbing.
Then she cut off the phone, uploaded her crying photo on Facebook, and tagged me. Urggggh, everyone thought I was a scum!
An always-on-period girl...
"Namwan, what's the matter?"
I touched her on the shoulder. She made a sulking face since we were on the skytrain. I thought she'd feel better after a walk, but it'd gotten worse. "Don't mess with me. You made me so mad."
When did I....
"What made you mad at me? I didn't do anything."
"If you still don't know what made me angry, just go away." "What's wrong? Tell me so I'll know how to make you feel better." "I'm on my period, okay? Leave me alone."
"Okay! I will leave you forever!!!"
My fun high school life ended after that because I got into a suburban university. No more enjoying myself at Siam and Paragon. And since my destiny took me here, I encountered a bizarre situation. It was...
"Tine, can you hear me?" This voice was my latest bizarre thing in my life. "Wh...What's the matter?"
"This is for you." "For me?"
"Yes."
I looked at the person in front of me from head to toe. That hand gave me a red gift box and I awkwardly received it.
"Thank you."
"Tine Teepakorn, first year Law student. I have a crush on you!" Whaaaat theeee fuck?! Where is the camera? Is this a sitcom or something? "You...You're kidding, right?"
"No. I really like you. Please be my boyfriend?" I really wanted to throw the gift box on the ground.
Guinness Book, please record my most outlandish experience. I just got a love confession.
But!!
The person who confessed to me...
Is a boy!