There was something unspoken in the air. The Prince's loyal servants began to avoid me after I had injured my hands, as though the 18th Prince had told them to do so.
Shan, the girl who had broken the wheelchair, was exiled after getting caned. Very much like her friend, Mei.
There were barely any servants in Shen Li Gong in the first place, and now, there were only five.
I was glad. While the others busied themselves, I could leave for the well on my own without worry. They only spoke to me to give instructions, not looking at me in the eye or even speaking in my direction.
It may have made it easier for me to carry out my mission, but I had to confess that this made me feel all the more alone.
I no longer went along with the 18th Prince on his weekly trips to Dong Gong.
It would be fruitless anyway. The number of people present made the thought of giving the heir a dance or stripping for him simply ridiculous.
As Autumn arrived, the Inner Bureau began to send out thicker cloths and fur for the Palace people to make clothes for the coming winter.
Xiang handed me my share when I was making soup in the kitchen.
"Winter gets very cold in the Palace, so make sure to keep warm." Xiang didn't look at me in the eyes, but I was thankful anyway. There wasn't much to begin with, I was sure, but one of the blankets was stuffed with down, and it was more than I could ask for.
"Thank you," I said. My voice sounded foreign to my own ears after two weeks of barely speaking.
She nodded and headed out. Finishing my chores, I returned to my room and packed the items away.
Han's letter was hidden in my pillow case. No one ever came around to my room, another blessing from being ignored. But being wary, I plucked it out once more. I would burn it after reading its contents for the last time.
'The Crown Princess will have her birthday celebrations in three weeks. All members of the Imperial family will be expected to gift her something. The 18th Prince included.'
The note was simple, but I understood. It was my chance to show the Crown Prince my talents.
But I had already ruined my chances by being too careful around the 18th Prince. I had to get back in his good books somehow.
In my mind, Han's words resurfaced. The 18th Prince would turn 19 a month after I enter the Palace. It has been a month. I bit my lip, crushing the paper in my hands. Returning to the kitchen, I tossed the letter into the fire.
"Maiden Qing?" Eunuch Cui had appeared in the kitchen. "Gong gong!" I greeted, surprised. It was rare for him to come into the kitchen; most instructions were given to me by Xiang. He entered, looking a little harassed.
"May I help you with anything, sir?" I asked. He let out a deep sigh and stepped closer to me, wringing his hands. He looked greatly bothered and unsure of whether he should speak up.
"Is this about Sire?" I pushed a little more, knowing that this might be my chance to get back into the Prince's good graces. Eunuch Cui let out another sigh and nodded.
"Sire... Turns 19 in two days." He stepped in closer, as though worried that someone might overhear him speaking.
I leaned in as he dropped his voice to a whisper. "But the Crown Prince has prohibited everyone from speaking about it. We are not allowed to celebrate it in any way."
I had wondered why the Inner Bureau had yet to send us meat and vegetables for the week. Our garden could only sustain us for so long. They had only sent us grain - no other ingredients were sent.
The indignation I felt cut deep, but I kept quiet. Just how much did the Crown Prince hate his 18th brother to make him so miserable?
"But... I really want to celebrate it with him. In our own way. I will need to bother you..." He trailed off, looking at me hopefully. I nodded, grabbing at the chance.
"What would you like me to do?"
***
Eunuch Cui drew out the recipes for all the food he had planned out to serve the Prince for his 19th birthday.
I spent the whole day in the kitchen, preparing all the ingredients and chopping whatever necessary when the Prince went out to visit the Emperor. It was the day before his birthday. I would have to wake up way before dawn in order to do everything in time.
Most of the dishes were simple, but time-consuming. When the morning came and the eunuchs came down the Palaces, hitting their gongs, I sat up from my bed.
These eunuchs came down every hour to hit the gongs after the hour of the Hare. In Shen Li Gong, however, we only needed to wake up a little later if the Prince didn't have plans to go elsewhere.
I got down to work, fire burning as the sun rose slowly. Lotus root soup, pork bone broth, tofu with soya sauce, rice...
Eunuch Cui had warned me about the consequences of getting caught. These ingredients were bought with his own money and snuck in with the help of his friends from outside the Palace.
It would be fine if he had bought it for himself. But being his 'accomplice', I would likely be punished for cooking a feast to celebrate the Prince's coming-of-age.
When I was done with the dishes Eunuch Cui had asked me to make, I sat down on the small chair I had brought in from my own room. My arms were aching. The sun had risen, and Eunuch Cui would come in soon.
"Maiden Qing... You've done it!" Eunuch Cui stared at the food in awe, but I could only nod with fatigue. "One at a time, yes, yes!"
The delight on his face was enough to prove to me that I was doing the right thing; not just for me to move my mission forward. Maybe that made me feel less bad about my intentions.
Eunuch Cui took the lotus root soup and rice on a tray, giving me a wink as he left the kitchen.
For the next hour, each member of the staff took turns to take a dish to the Prince. Yi Liang arrived for the last dish. He didn't look me in the eye as he took the tofu from me, his hands brushing against mine.
"Thank you," he murmured. As he turned around to leave, I parted my lips to call out for him.
"Y-Yun-" I stammered, but he didn't pause. I buried my face in my hands, rubbing my eyes hard. I must be delusional.
Turning back around, I let out a shaky breath. Everyone had their chance to bring something to the Prince. It was about time I did too.
Remembering what Prince Zheng had once told me, I took the ingredients out and began making one final dish, bearing all the aches in my body.
I kept getting side-tracked from the making the dish in between, being sent out to do collect water, sweep the gardens...
By the time it was done, it was evening. I let out a groan, unable to help it. My back ached, and I stretched it out as best I could.
Taking off my dirty apron, I plated the pastries and exited the kitchen. Shen Li Gong was awfully quiet, almost as though everyone was too scared to make a noise.
I kept the plate close to my body, wary as well. Most of the staff were not outside. The Prince didn't seem to be in the main hall either.
I stepped towards the garden, catching a glimpse of Yi Liang's uniformed arm against the only living tree in the garden.
Rather than calling it a garden, it felt more like a shelter from the sun. There was a wooden table and several chairs fixed to the spot next to the tree.
Most of the space was left bare, mainly because it would be difficult for the Prince to move about if bushes were planted in those spots.
Since it was autumn, the tree would likely begin to die. But I leaned forward a little more from the corner of the study hall I was hiding behind and found the Prince seated at the wooden table, reading a book with an unlit lantern beside him.
His back was towards me. The sun was about to set, but it looked like he was set to sit there for a while if he had a lantern prepared.
A sudden anxiety inundated me as I got close to the Prince. Yi Liang watched me, but he didn't speak as he eyed the plate of pastries in my hands.
"I can feel you behind me." I froze as the Prince spoke. He turned a page nonchalantly, not turning around. "Come over if that's what you want to do."
Biting my lip, I did as he said, setting the plate down on the table before him.
Prince Zheng did not look up. "What is that?" he asked, his eyes on pages of the book.
"Osmanthus cakes, Sire," I mumbled. At that, he put the book down.
"Why?" The question surprised me. "Uh - that..." I couldn't answer.
"Are you trying to get me in trouble?" The chill in his voice made my back stiffen.
"N-no! That's not it -" "You should be aware of the ban that the Crown Prince had put upon Shen Li Gong for today. If you're not out to harm me -"
Irritation and exasperation rose up in my chest. I didn't cook all those things for him just to be accused of trying to harm him.
I truly wasn't. My mission had nothing to do with him directly. There would be no point for me to harm him!
My fatigue must have gotten to me, because I picked up a piece of Osmanthus pastry and shoved it in his mouth mid-sentence.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Yi Liang lunge forward, his hand on his sword. Prince Zheng froze, surprised as his mouth filled with the sweet flavour.
"I'll take one too, because there's no poison in them. If the two of us eat these eight pieces, it'll be gone in no time. Then no one would catch us, right?"
I took one and shoved it in my mouth, chewing hard. The Prince stared at me in shock.
Then he let out a chortle, taking the whole piece into his mouth. He chewed hard, swallowed, then broke out into a deep guffaw. Yi Liang paused, confused with his hand still at the ready.
Prince Zheng's laughter filled Shen Li Gong, and I reached out to cover his mouth in alarm.
"Hush! Who knows what kind of servants might be outside," I hissed, bending closer to him. He stopped laughing, but his eyes were still filled with amusement.
The Prince's hand covered mine and he pulled my hand away from his mouth.
"Alright, alright. We'll eat these together. Yi Liang?" The Prince gestured to his guard, who stepped forward. "Come take a piece. Like Qing'er said, the faster we finish these, the less likely we get found out."
Yi Liang hesitated, but the Prince pressed him with his gaze. After a heartbeat, Yi Liang took a piece and ate.
I straightened my back, but Prince Zheng tightened his grasp on my hand. He tugged me towards him, making me stumble into his arms. I let out a loud gasp and caught myself in time, gripping onto his new wheelchair's handles.
My face was only a breath away from his. I was close enough to count the number of eyelashes he had. He stared down at me, his big brown eyes scanning over my face. I felt exposed - almost naked under his gaze.
His cheeks raised as he smiled down at me, lighting up his eyes. My heart stuttered and I blinked.
"F-forgive me!" I gasped, pulling back. He didn't let me go, but he pushed me towards the chair next to him.
"Take a seat. We'll finish this together." He took another piece, taking a bite of half of it this time. He didn't say anything more, but there was a smile on his face that didn't seem to want to leave.
It was a little awkward, but Yi Liang and I ate the pastries one at a time with the Prince.
There was an inexplicable moment of peace. Perhaps I was reminded of how Grandmother used to make pastries for me, and we would sit in our own backyard. Sometimes Father would come around and we would eat the pastries together. Three of us in the garden, enjoying the quiet.
When there was one piece left, I picked it up. Prince Zheng watched the pastry in my hand like a hawk, and I wanted to laugh.
Though he was 19, he reminded me of an 8-year-old in that moment. Even though I shouldn't, my heart opened with the desire to protect him. Seeing how we all had to be careful not to make him laugh on his birthday, there was nothing but sympathy within me.
He may have punished those girls without mercy, but they had wronged him in the first place. Perhaps the wolf before me wasn't as bad as I thought.
I took his hand and placed the pastry in his palm. "Happy birthday, Sire," I said softly. Prince Zheng's eyes widened before a bigger smile broke out on his face. He parted his lips to speak.
"How would you like... To join my retinue officially?"