"Qing, you're still awake?"
I turned around to Father's voice calling out for me. It took a while for my eyes to find him in the dark of the outdoors.
General Yan stood right behind me, his sword sheathed on his left hip. He had his armour on, his hand wrapped loosely around the handle.
His hair was tied up in a severe bun atop his head, but his helmet was being held loosely in his right hand.
"Father," I greeted. Father's eyes bore reluctance and apology, even when his face seemed gaunt with fatigue.
With the threat of war from Jin Tang growing, our General had been called into the Palace for endless Court assemblies on what they should do.
It was my 19th birthday. The skies were clear and cloudless even in the night, but the Spring winds sent my skirts billowing behind me. Mother's dress; one that she loved before she passed.
The recognition in Father's eyes made him look even older than he was.
Father had promised me that he would return to our Yan Manor for the week, so that we could celebrate.
Grandmother, Head Lady Yan, had set up a party to celebrate the coming-of-age of General Yan Shen Ming's only child. I had to endure the endless complaints she muttered under her breath each time the guests asked her where Father was.
The few hundred guests had gone home a few hours ago, and I was thankful for the quiet.
I had dreaded the day I turned 19 since I became aware of what it meant. Coming-of-age was more than just a party.
In the nation of Yin Shang, 19 was the special age when girls are courted by potential suitors.
After a long process of wooing, and with agreements from both the potential husband's and wife's clan members, they would get married.
Huan Xi of the Yu clan, an old friend of mine, married her childhood friend from the Hua clan just a month ago.
I attended their wedding, face covered with a pink-veiled hat, and watched as everyone interacted with everyone. Maidens no older than 19 were not allowed to show their faces to the public - which was fine by me.
At the wedding, people drank and toasted each other deep into the night. Their parents were both 3rd-ranked officials involved with Trade in the Court, and their marriage meant a greater alliance for both clans.
I was able to sneak into her room for a short talk after seeing her disappear into her marriage room.
Huan Xi had drunk a little too much festive wine, and she was red in the face when I called out for her.
I lifted my face veil so I could see her better. She was stumbling around in the dark, without any candles lit. The servants would only come in a little later.
"Qingqing…" I grabbed her by the shoulders, steadying her as she tottered her way to me. I hurried to shut the doors, hoping no one would see her like this.
"Xi'er, you drank too much. It's not proper." I coaxed her to the dining table and sat her down, right in front of the bed where they would be consummating their marriage in an hour.
She shook her head vehemently, which looked terribly difficult with all of the pins and heavy jewels in her hair.
"Are you… Unhappy?" I asked. She stared down at the marble table. A tear rolled down her cheek, and her drunken state had all but disappeared.
"No," she whispered. Xi'er looked up and gave me a tremulous smile. "I hope you marry for love, my friend. You must. You must…"
The memory of my friend's wedding faded as I took in my father standing before me.
Father ruled over the inner army of Yin Shang, the men who protected the royal family members whenever they left the Palace.
They were also on the frontlines during a war, with their skill with the sword. Father's command over them made him one of the most powerful men in the country.
As the daughter of a 1st ranked General, my marriage would never be something I could make any decision in.
But perhaps marriage could wait. There should be no time for festivities. Yin Shang was losing territory, and Jin Tang was taking over our borders.
Our King must make a decision, or we could lose more land. It would be a matter of time before they fought their way into the capital to take over the Palace.
The King, Jing of the Pan clan, His Highness kept Father under a tight leash ever since his ascension to the throne.
He had always been wary of Father's power when the late King bestowed Father the rank of First General.
Court was Father's second home, where he played advisor to the King. He was forced to be loyal to him, since the King claimed at every chance he had that "General Yan is my vassal, through and true!"
No other clans with political power that could rival ours would be in their right mind to form an alliance with us.
Father was not the only person in the Yan clan who was part of the Pans' retinue. The Queen summons Grandmother into the Palace to visit her once a week, just to chat and ask about me.
Now that General Yan's only daughter was of-age…
I dashed the terrifying thought out of my mind.
"Couldn't sleep?" Father's voice was hoarse, and I knew that he must have rushed home the moment he could.
It was the hour of the Ox, and the courtyard was filled with sounds of only the wind and soft hoots of unseen birds. I had snuck out of my room when I knew Yu Ru, my personal maid, had fallen asleep outside my door.
"I was worried for you, Father." I gave him a smile. Father's eyes raked over my face before he glanced away.
The two of us knew what was likely to happen. It was only a matter of time before the royals invited me into the Palace.
I had received a large gift from the Crown Prince in the day - precious silks and jewellery that had to be hauled in by a servant retinue of 20. They all laid in the storage untouched.
Everyone else has seen the big show, and most of the maidens who had well wishes for me spoke in voices laden with envy, while others gave coy invitations for me to contact them when I had the time.
"Your mother would be happy with how you've turned out," Father reached out and took my hand.
"Thank you, Father," I replied with a twinge in my chest. Mother passed away when I was six due to an illness. He had never remarried despite everyone insisting that men weren't allowed to only have one Wife.
Secretly, I knew that the Pans were glad that we weren't forming allies with other clans.
Father opened his mouth to speak again. Before he could, however, the thunder of footsteps pierced my ears.
They made one round around the Manor, and light from flaming torches shone above the walls.
"Milady!"
I jumped, heart racing as I realised these men were approaching our Manor's entrance.
It was the hour of the Ox. Why would there be people marching in the middle of the night?
Yu Ru ran over to me from the main house, fear evident on her face even from afar. Her hair had loosened from its braids, and her turquoise dress was untidy from her rush.
"Milady, I had to open the door," she gasped again, eyes wide and chest heaving.
As she ran into the garden where my father and I stood, soldiers filed into the Yan Manor, holding torches and lanterns.
The lights illuminated the ground in a wicked kind of brightness. An imperial decree. There was nothing else this could be.
My heart sank. Too soon. What I predicted was happening too soon.
Leading the soldiers right in front was the King's eunuch. His green robes had white lotus flowers lining his sleeves as a sign of his status.
Those very sleeves swung wildly as he rode in on a horse. He held a golden scroll in his hands, head high.
Before I could react, he stopped before me. Still on his horse, he inclined his head in greeting. "General Yan, Lady Yan," he greeted.
"Gong gong, please rise," I answered. His refusal to get off the horse filled my stomach with a sick feeling.
Even the Queen and his wives had to show my father respect and bow - but the Eunuch had only bent his body. The scroll seemed to glow in the Eunuch's hands.
"Accept the imperial order." He seemed to glare at me as I kneeled. Father, as well as Yu Ru, got on their knees too.
All orders by the King must be received on our knees.
"Lady Yan Qing of the Noble Yan clan, you will enter the Royal Court at dawn the next day. General Yan shall accompany you. Your service to the country will be rewarded. You shall obey. End of the decree."
The vagueness of the King's words confused me, and I glanced at my father. He looked just as confused as I was.
"Accept the scroll." The eunuch held it out and I took it in my hands.
"Long live the King," I murmured before getting up.
There was an obvious look of pity in the eunuch's eyes when I looked up at him. "If Lady Yan is agreeable, your servant will be here before dawn to bring you to the Eastern Palace."
The eunuch smiled, blatantly ignoring my father's questioning gaze.
The East Palace? The Palace of the Crown Prince?
"I thank you, Head Eunuch. But gong gong, what is the decree about? What kind of mission has His Majesty decreed for me?"
The smile on the eunuch's face seemed to freeze, as though he did not expect me to ask. He blinked twice, bowing his head.
"Forgive me, but your servant is not able to speak of it. The owner of the East Palace will be the one to speak of the matter when Milady enters the Palace. Please worry not." The eunuch's eyes were simpering now.
"I... I understand, gong gong." Dread coursed through me.
The Crown Prince of Yin Shang had called for yet another round of selections to increase the number of wives he had in his harem just two months ago.
Was he choosing another group of girls again? Was that what this was for? As a way to control my father in order to get him to be willing to send his men to the death in war?
Why would he send an eunuch to give his decree in the middle of the night... In relative secret?
"Your servant must go now. Please excuse your servant..." The eunuch bowed deeply and took off on his horse, taking the two rows of soldiers that had come with him out of our manor.
The thundering sounds submerged our manor in silence when they left.
"What is the decree about, milady?" Yu Ru asked, leaning in to look at the scroll. Yu Ru, who was the same age as me, had followed me since I was young.
I knew what she was thinking about. There was an excitement in her voice - she had always wanted to visit the Palace.
Understandably, since she knew it wasn't a decree for Father to fight, which I had been discussing with her to alleviate my fears.
But ice bloomed in my chest. I had never been to the Palace either. For me to enter the Palace the day after I turned 19...
I looked to Father for answers, but his gaze was as confused and worried as mine.
"We can only wait for an answer when we enter the Palace together. Prepare Her Ladyship's clothes for the Palace. We need to be on time tomorrow."
His instructions were directed at my personal maid. Yu Ru nodded at my father's instructions and ran off to my room, leaving us alone.
"Father... I am worried," I blurted out before I could help it. The frown between his brows deepened, but he nodded in agreement.
"An imperial decree is an imperial decree. One cannot deny it," he sighed.
The scroll in my hands seemed to weigh a mountain, but I was afraid of putting it aside.
Father reached out to take the scroll, placing it gently on the floor. "Worry not, my child. Father's here to protect you." I tried to smile, but my lips didn't want to obey.
"What did you wish to tell me, Father?" I asked, recalling that he was about to speak before we had been interrupted by the arrival of the decree.
"Happy birthday, Yan Qing. You look just like your mother. I just wish she was here to see you." He took my hand and squeezed it.
"Thank you, Father." I turned back to look at the moon, contemplating as Father stood by my side. We stared at the sky in silence, deep in our own thoughts.
It has been tradition for the royal family to summon girls who have just turned 19 into the Palace.
Though these summons were not official calls for the selection of concubines, it was likely that they be bestowed a title of Royal Concubine.
The head eunuch had mentioned the East Palace. Perhaps I would be bestowed a position in the Crown Prince's harem instead.
The thought made me shudder. The Crown Prince was more than twice my age nonetheless.
I gritted my teeth. Our Yan Clan had always been adamant about one thing, and that was that girls of the family ought to be married as the first wife of the household.
Never a concubine. Was I to assume the identity of one of the many wives of the Crown Prince?
Was this the way the royal clan was trying to subdue my father? Or force him to fight on the frontlines of the war with his only daughter in the Palace, to be submissive to the whims and fancies of the Crown Prince?
As I stared at the night sky, the stars winked back, as though they were courting me.