Previously
"Keep going," Ivanka ordered into my head. My back must have been drenched with sweat as I really wanted to get out of my meditation, to do anything to escape this feeling of loss but my mind told me that I would have to do what Ivanka said if I ever want to solve this problem.
So like a horrible mother, I just kept feeding chi into my Anger as my heart dropped everything it ate away at the energy. I swore I could have heard their cries of anguish as it ate them but I could do nothing but watch. I felt horrible, disgusting, pathetic and embarrassed all at the same time.
"Almost done," Ivanka whispered.
"Quickly!" Tears fell down my cheeks at this point. I could hear their cries of betrayal and with every little high-pitched scream, I felt my need to quit, to withdraw increase.
Luckily however, before the need boiled off the cap, Ivanka finished her work, forcefully pulling me outside of my meditative state as I woke up with a deep gasp of shock.
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My cough was dry, my throat wheezed from the sudden lack of air and my hands wrapped themselves around my chest, trying to calm myself into the normal state of breathing. Ivanka quickly helped, striking the back of my neck with a master's precision, allowing me to return slowly to deep gasps which eventually quieted down to simple breaths of air.
"I'll apologize for the forceful method but any longer and you would have lost yourself to the waves," Ivanka said. "Good news provides that I've successfully identified the crux of your problem."
I held up a finger and took a deep breath of fresh air. "Okay, okay, that should be good enough." I turned to Ivanka, my hand leaving my chest as I was able to breathe in normally. "Identified the what now? Tell me the short version, please."
"Very well," Ivanka said. "We've both found out that, as you've theorized, it was indeed your. . .Anger that has been causing you to be unable to call in and therefore, manipulate chakra."
"Skip the recap please," I told her.
"What is a. . .recap?" She shook her head. "Nevermind. The point, if you were asking, is that I've understood the exact process as to why your problem happens. Which means-"
"You figured out how to solve it?" I asked hopefully.
She half-nodded. "I have. It's very simple, really." Her hand rose before she gestured a thumb across her neck. "You just have to give up on one of them."
"What?"
"Simple, yes?"
"But I can't do that!"
"It'll only take a second," Ivanka's eyes glowed silver before her hand lit up, coated in her chakra and manipulated into the form of a chakra blade. "This will suppress and poison your Anger , isolating it away from your body over the days before the weeks passed and it will grow weak enough that it is naturally expelled from your body."
"It'll take time since even I'm not able to forcefully expel it from your body," She looked at me with a certain expression I couldn't figure out. "Well I could, but you'll most likely die from severe blood loss."
"Severe blood loss?" I muttered. "No, that's not the point! I won't let you get rid of it!"
She stopped. ". . .Why not? It may be strong now—formidable enough that it could provide a second chance to live but it's nature is chaos. It's cancer. It may be strong now but power like that always comes at a price. I advise you to get rid of it."
"Unless. . you want to get rid of your chances at martial arts?"
"No, no," I took a step back away from her. "I won't let you take either!"
". .You're being impossible, Willow," Ivanka said. This may be the first time she's ever used my real name instead of the usual 'boy', 'little one' or 'Kubaba'. "Liste-"
"I know." I stopped her. I took a deep breath, and looked into her eyes, revealing my inner thoughts to be at her mercy. "I know I'm being unreasonable, impossible but I can't let you take either of them, Ivanka. Please."
You could say that it was unlike me to not prioritize the usage and long-term benefits of martial arts and chakra. One could even say that I was being greedy by attempting to have both but I couldn't let her take either of them away. Especially my Anger. This was my gamer instincts talking but I knew that nothing happened without a reason—from my transmigration into this game, to the Demon God accelerating the plot of this world and being presented with a. . .cursed ability that should never have been possessed by Willow the Maiden in the game.
The original plotline for Willow's abilities, after finding himself somewhere in the Desolate Lands from the attack of the demons on his town, would be for him to try and find his way home, to grind and level up his emblem, therefore gaining new skills and surrounding himself with new allies along the way who acted as an offensive/attack force for him while he stood in the back and supported them with his support-type emblem skills. All until the Demon God captured him at the very least, awakening his Maiden form and monopolizing him for herself as they waged an eternal war against all the seven realms.
But so many things have changed ever since I was born into this world instead of Willow. And my usual plan was to adapt and improvise to any new situation that might appear, even going so far as to get rid of any of the new things that might prove to be harmful to the original plotline of the game and therefore, my plans of living lazily in a secluded village.
And if this was the past me, I would have gotten rid of such a new, unforeseeable ability such as my Anger but my gamer instincts, my guts were telling me that it would be useful. Did I plan to take the risk? Yes. Why? So many things had deviated from the original plotline already and I had to adapt and improvise to what is, not cling to what should have been.
Also, Ivanka's urging to get rid of my Anger might just be a way of the world trying to reset itself to the original plotline of the game, aka, getting rid of anything that shouldn't have been. If it was, it'd just prove that I was right to not get rid of it.
"Then, how will we proceed for your ascension? Your revenge?"
I slowly bounced towards Ivanka, holding the sleeves of her outfit. "Just, please give me some time to figure this out. A couple of days, at least."
Her expression returned to it's normal, stoic self. She only gave out a sigh. "Fine. It's your life and fate. Not mine. Do what you must but do it quick."
"The door to the outside world opens in two weeks," Ivanka said.
"I understand," I replied. She gave out a grunt before palming my back, energy coursing through her body as the world buzzed out of view.